Newspaper Page Text
1 Ht MAROON TIGER
75
c Wit andSKumor I
“NOW I’LL TELL ONE—’’
Clarence S. Buggs
A very charming compliment was paid me by a
friend who told that the Humor Editor was a wit, and
he replied: “Yes, but he’s just half of that.”
* * *
Sweet Voice (over "phone during exams): “May I
speak to James Colston, please?”
Voice on this side: “Sorry, Miss, but Comparative
Anatomy killed him this morning.”
Sweet Voice (in terrible fright, filled with uncon
trolled sobs) : “Oh dear, what—did—he—ho—glup—
to—Mr. Anatomy?”
* * *
Jimmie: “Pop, what is a monologue and a dia
logue?”
Pop: “To dialogue is where two people are speaking.”
Jimmie: “How? Like you and mama?”
Pop: “No, Son, that’s a monologue!”
* * *
Prof.: “What do you mean by coming in an 8:00
o’clock class 20 minutes late?”
Dumb Student (most likely a Freshman) : “Er-well-
when I awoke I looked into the glass to tie my tie
and I didn’t see myself so I thought that I had gone
to class, and really I didn’t know until 25 minutes
later that the glass had fallen out of the frame on
the floor.”
La Chucklelus, the president of the University Club,
made a creep on the boys in Three Flights Up, the
other day.
* * *■
A teacher of a rural district was explaining thf
present, past and future tenses: “The present tense
is was is now going on. The past tense is what has
already happened. The future tense is something to
he or something that will come about.”
Then when the superintendent came to visit, she
called on Johnnie to explain the three tenses.
Johnnie: “De now tense, de done gone tense and de
ain’t come yet tense.”
* * *
“There goes another magician,” said the traffic cop,
as he saw a man turn a new Ford into a telephone pole.
* * *
Eletrocutor: “Well have you anything to say before
I throw the switch?”
Chair Victim: “The only thing I can say is that
this’ll sure learn me a lesson.”
* * *
Say have you read “FINISH?” it’s the last thing
in books.
* * *
Excited professor rushing to a flaming room in Rob
ert Hall when a big burly Irish Fireman intercepts him
bellowing, “Get back, Boy, get hack, don’t you ’ear
de chief talkin’?”
THE FALSE ALARM
If someone says to you
“My boy, go to the farm.
The experience is good for you,
The work’ll do you no harm.”
That “there’s much you can see
Of America while there,
Of New England scenery
And damsels fair and rare.”
Just quickly say you can’t
And if they ask you why
Just give them this chant,
Containing your replv.
That there’s too much sun on you,
There’s tobacco left and right,
Too many bosses over you
A-cursing from morn ’till nite.
So if a summer you’d enjoy,
Don’t make it on the farm,
Take heed from me, my boy
For it is one False Alarm.
F. J. Banks, ’31.
CAMPUS NEWS
(Continued from Page 68)
The Debating season will open officially for More
house with the Open Forum which will be conducted
from the seventeenth through the twenty-first of Feb
ruary. This of course will be an acid test for the var
sity squad and we shall no doubt be confronted with
oratorical display that would move any audience to
action and strong, well-founded facts that would con
vict any criminal. The questions that will receive con
sideration in the Forum will be, Resolved, “That the
Jury System in Criminal Cases Should be Abolished,”
and Resolved, “That It Is an Unsound Policy To Provide
a Liberal Arts Education for the Average Graduate of
a Secondary School.”
— Chi Delta Sigma Debating Society.
There’ll he corns on your hands,
And pains on your body,
Too many sweat glands,
Make you “strong” and hearty.
There’ll be days you’re almost dead.
Days dark and dreary,
When you’ll agree with him who said:
“There is no rest for the weary.”
ATHLETICS
(Continued from Page 74)
ville unveiled a great rally in the last few minutes of
play which Morehouse failed to overcome.
Ahmed Brown, Banks and Archer led the Morehouse
offensive while Sandford, Johnson and Hubbard were
the Bulldog stars.
Nance of Tennesse State College refereed the game
in a very satisfactory manner.