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THE MAROON TIGER
Page 11
WIT AND HUMOR
WELL, WELL, WELL
C. S. Bugcs
Stewart: “Were you kicking about Hies in the din
ing room, Mr. Harrison?”
Harrison: “No, I was just knocking them about with
my hand.”
First Mechanic: “Have you any four-volt two-watt
bulbs?”
Second Ditto: “For what?”
First: “No, two.”
Second “Two what?”
First: “Yes.”
She: “Is that the moon up there?”
Blake: “I don’t know, I’m a stranger here.”
A man was rung up at his office and told that his
mother-in-law was being attacked by a mad dog. He
went on smoking and said: “Why should I worry about
what happens to a mad dog?”
Babe: “Do you know anything about flirting?”
Cornett: “I thought I did, but she married me.”
Sympathetic Old Lady: “Ah, my poor young man, life
is full of trials.”
Sam Johnson: “You’re right ma’am. What was you
tried for?”
Beckett: “I’ve been in love with one girl ten times.”
Jennings: “That’s nothing. I’ve been in love with ten
girls at one time.”
Foster: “I had a date with your girl last night.”
Talley: “No fooling?”
Foster: “Not much.”
Rudy: “If you don’t marry me I shall not care to
live.”
She: “And if you did, I shouldn’t.”
Irate Parent: “When that young cub who’s paying you
attention comes here again, I’ll sit on him.”
Daughter: “Let me do it, father.”
First Filly: “Your Scotch boy friend answers letters
promptly.”
Second Filly: “Yeah, I told him the government
might raise the postage to three cents any day now.”
Pug: “You look like something I don’t know nothing
about.”
Jeff: “It must be Correct English.”
Father (after hearing from the nurse that there was
a new member added to the family) : “What will it use,
a razor or lip-stick?”
The Three Flights Up Trio will now render a song:
“Here Take Back Your Necklace, She Said, My Neck
Is Turning Green.”
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW
That 35 sofas have been chilled since The Glee Club
has been on its tour of the Southland? Of course,
“Sambo” Johnson has been trying to warm them, but
his line has been crossed too many times, and now he
can’t raise any girl’s temperature.
That The Great S. K. Curry, exponent of extra-parlor-
activities, was caught buried ’neath the theories of Kant
and Schopenhauer on The Philosophy of Love, then
trying to execute these writings in Spelman’s Dining Hall
on Sunday afternoons?
That not even the Great God Pluvius (god of rain)
could wash Clesta Jennings away from Spelman when
he was swapping lies with Miss E. T. ?
That even with the installation of six new showers in
our Collegiate Hall, that Luke Murphy still insists on
washing his feet in fire-buckets!
Rev. Shell received a ’phone call last Sunday after
noon, and put on a nonchalant air by trying to look
bored?
That Link carried four fellows to “81” Theatre so
they could praise him for his recent acquisition, namely:
Princess Wee-Wee?
That Papa “Slu-Foot” Blake can now lay his dogs
on a Chevrolet mat? By the way, Scretchings, they tell
me that if your shoes wear out, you’ll be on your feet
again.—So long, Pal.
That the Great Hermit, the Man of Self-control, Rev.
Sanders, came in with a tiny handkerchief full of teeth,
as concrete evidence of his argument with “Cooledge”
Hill, that he could be a red-hot lover if he wanted to!
That Doddy Milton is about to lose his ball-and-chain?
She says “Sambo” Johnson, Houston and Smith can
beat him talking. Well, anyway, it’s a break for the
night watchman. So long, Polie.
That Buggs proved to have the biggest heart when
he staggered out to the little lady’s home under a heavy
load of Nunnalys, declaring her his Valentine? Why
all this Buggsie when you get phone calls from Morris
Brown, and like ’em?
Again we bring you news of loves and griefs of these
“yes men” through the courtesy of Dirty Gossip. With
out the special permission of the ham-ang-egg lovers,
we broadcast every month over a miscellaneous hook
up and eleven shake-downs—and through your own
station, GWWI (Guess Who Wrote It). Now, to all of
you who furnished this information—Thank you! And,
until next month this time—Thank You.
Nervously,
I. M. Mike.
I. M. Ike.