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THE MAROON TIGER
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c Wit and Stumor
W. C. Green wishes to know the location of the Asiatic
Island, of which extradition is not permitted. Well, we
can’t say but maybe “Old Man Depression” is causing
him to make other plans.
The ambitious freshman who ran out to the gym,
hut forgot to put on his shorts was termed “Nature in
the Raw.”
Dumbness Unexpected
“Cab” thinks that a poolroom is a place where one
takes a bath.
Prof. C.—Why weren’t you here at 8:30 as I asked
you to be?
“Sock” Thomas—Why—er Prof, I’m sorry, but at 8:30
I was resting peacefully in the arms of Morpheus (the
god of sleep).
“That’s the man I’m pulling for,” said the mules as
A. L. Harper walked across the coal yard.
Hey, “Josh,” your wife said “bring the baby some
steel nipples, because he has chewed up all of the rub
ber ones.
“Dear father,” wrote the college student, “would it
be presumptuous for me to ask you for $5.00 of the
money you received in ‘Bright Sayings of the Baby Con
test’ when I was a child?”
Every hair on the human head has a muscle at its
root, hut a bald-headed man can’t give those muscles
much exercise.
The painter who can do a picture in two days and
think nothing of it frequently discovers that the public
has the same opinion.
Fond mothers who are trying to detect signs of genius
in some children require the aid of a detective.
When a man speaks of circumstances beyond his con
trol, he is generally thinking of his wife.
Speaking of the movies, the fly is the greatest screen
fan we know.
What is D. A. Hammock going to do since Foster
Watson has gone? I guess he will have to flunk in
Genetics alone next semester.—E. Mapp.
“Hoss” Harper looks somewhat interesting with that
artificial intellectual expression on his face, eh, Boys?
Yeah, Man!
B. M.—“Hey, I passed your home when you were
there yesterday.”
Lee—“How did you know that I was at home?”
B. M.—“Well, I saw your shirt hanging out on the
line.”
Miss S. C. seems to be enjoying college life quite a
bit, but what a marked “diff” there would be if little
Jefferies was on the Little Red Hill.
“Doc” Yak—“What are you doing with my teeth?”
Prof.—“Aw, I just want to bite the end off my cigar.”
Drowning Jew—“Help! Help! Save me!”
Man in boat—“I will save you for $5.00.”
Jew—“No, make it 4.98.”
Go to West Point and be a Big Shot. Bullets “Whoo-
99
pee.
She was only a bootlegger’s daughter, but f love her
still.
Inverted Arithmetic
A little boy was balancing himself on his head. An
old lady who knew him came by.
“Aren’t you too young to do that? You are only
six”, she said.
“It’s all right, missus”, he replied. “I’m nine while
I’m up-side-down.”
A Modern Woman
There was a woman—you’ll never guess who—-
Chickens sold so cheap she didn’t know what to do.
She got out her canning book—did as it said—
Now all through the winter the family’ll be chicken-bred.
When a man’s mind ceases to expand he is a simple
ton. Wake up you “Oafs.”
The girl who wears knickers and thinks she is act
ing just like a man always gives herself away when
she thrusts her hands in the pockets.
Girls now-a-days load their dressing tables with so
much make-up material that there is no room for the
old-fashioned pin-cushion.
Him—Well er you see, Sir, I have been going with
your daughter for about five years.
Father—Well, what do you want me to do about it,
give you a pension.
St. Peter was interviewing the fair applicant at the
“Pearly Gates.” "Did you, while on earth,” he asked,
“indulge in smoking, drinking, petting, or dancing the
‘Boogy-Woogy ?”
“Never!” she snorted back.
“Then, why haven’t you reported here sooner? You’ve
been a dead one for a long time.”
Yes, I heard that M. Cabaniss was ding-donging around
with Miss D. since C. Walker has gone away.