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THE MAROON TIGER
TIGER TICKLERS
By Harold J. Brazeal
Watley: “I saw a javelin stick in the back of a fel
low’s neck.”
McDuffie: “Did it kill him?”
Watley: “No.”
McDuffie: “Well, I guess he was one of those head
strong guys.”
Prof.: “Who will be the potential voters ten or twelve
years from now?”
Lyle: “We will.”
Prof.: “Mr Lyle ten or twelve years from now you
will be too old to vote.”
Prof, of Ed.: “How did the children happen to know
their lessons?”
W. H. Gore, Jr.: “They insulted the text.” (Meaning
consulted.)
Psychology Prof.: “An intellectual person is one who
is usually a weakling physically.”
Big Simms: “No wonder I am so big and strong.”
“Do you believe that there is a devil?” Seven-year-
old Johnnie asked his companion at Sunday School.
“Of course I do.”
“Huh! It’s the same as the story about Santa Claus,”
said Johnnie. “It’s your father.”
A Cat-alogue
Note: A grammar school boy handed in the follow
ing composition on “cats”:
“Cats that’s meant for little boys to maul and to use
is called Maultease cats. Some cats is reckennized by
their purs is and these is named pursian cats. The cats
what has very bad tempers is called Angorie cats. Those
with deep feelins is called Feline cats. I don’t like
Correct
History Prof.: “Who fiddled while Rome burned?”
There was a painful silence; then came a voice from
J. Holloway, “It was Hector!”
“No, not Hector,” the Prof, replied. “Try again.”
“Towser!”
“Towser! What do you mean?” the Prof, asked.
“Well, if it wasn’t Hector or Towser,” said Holloway
aggrievedly, “it must have been Nero. I know it was
somebody with a dog’s name.”
Father: “Well, you say that you know as much as
your teacher; do you? Where did you get that idea?”
Willie: “Well, she said so herself. She said she
couldn’t teach me anything.”
Modern Youth
The teacher wrote on the board 3+6. Pointing to the
plus sign she said, “Jack, what is this?”
Jack: “Oh, that marks the spot where the body was
found.”
What A Number
Capt.: (to Prof, of Math.) “So you saw the accident,
sir? What was the number of the car that smacked the
man down.”
Prof, of Math.: “I am afraid that I have forgotten it.
But I do remember noticing that if it were multiplied
by fifty, the cube root of the product would be equal to
the sum of the digits reversed.”
Not Unnatural
The aviator’s wife is strange
In one way beyond doubt—-
Her heart rejoices when she sees
Her husband down and out.
—B. T.
“Look, Papa, Abbie’s cold is cured and we still have
a box of cough drops.”
“Oh, vot extravagance. Tell Herman to go out and
get his feet wet.”
“Which would you rathei he in, Pat, an explosion or
a collision?”
Pat: “In a collision.”
“Why?”
Pat: “Because in a collision there you are, and in
an explosion there you were.”
Girls—when they went out to swim,
Once dressed like Mother Hubbard,
Now they have a holder whim:
They dress more like her cuboard. (Bare)
P hillips
hilocracy
Well, Folks:
The class in Botany, realizing that they could better
understand the chapter on the “Peanut” by studying it
in its natural habitat, made a pilgrimmage to a near
by peanut patch. It happened that the peanuts on this
particular patch were not growing underground as pea
nuts usually do, but were growing on the surface in
stead. This queer action on the part of the peanuts
caused the class so much concern that one of the students
asked the owner to explain. “Oh they’re just celebrat
ing,” was his indifferent reply. ‘Celebrating for what?”
queried the still more perplexed student. “It's Dr. Car
ver’s birthday,” explained the owner.
“Hm—so you say that you have worked for the
Quinns, eh. Well, have you any references to prove that?”
“No, but I have some knives, folks, spoons and towels
with their initials on them.”
Ripley had a phrase for it! A letter addressed thus:
“To the man with ‘It’,” was received promptly by Mr.
S. B.
First Co-ed: “Dewalt told me that I was the only
one he had ever loved.”
Second Co-ed: “Oh. can’t he say it so divinely?”
The telephone rang in Graves Hall the other night
and I, being near, answered it. “I’d like to speak to
Mr. Smith,” was the request. I informed her that there
were four Smiths residing in the dormitories and that
I couldn’t handily get her Mr. Smith with such meagre
information. “I don’t know his initials, but he’s the
one who played quarterback on the team this year.” The
situation was now getting serious and at last, and in
despair, I asked her did she know where her Mr. Smith’s
native home is. “Yes,” and to my surprise she an
swered “Texas.” Oh, it's just another collegiate custom.