Newspaper Page Text
November 30, 1984/The Maroon Tiger/Page 18A
Say Brother
“I REALIZED THAT
MY MARRIAGE
WOULD DIE IF I
PERSISTED IN
HAVING SEX
WITH MEN”
By James Peter Duncan
WHY DID I SEEK LOVE AND
sex from men instead of women
during my adolescence? f think it
was primarily the lack of a loving,
lasting, positive relationship with
a man during my childhood. My
mother was 17 years old, un
married and the mother of a 1-
year-old girl when I was born.
She was overprotective of me,
but her boyfriend mistreated her
physically and mentally. I met my
father just five years ago, and I
grew up without any close male
relatives. Also, it has very recent
ly come back to me that when I
was 4 and older man lured me
into his apartment and sexually
abused me by fondling my
genitals. And at age 8 a 16-year-
old cousin, who was supposed to
be my baby-sitter, made me
perform oral sex with him.
Perhaps because of these
experiences, I found myself
desiring love and sex from men
when I reached puberty. This
desire led me to have mostly
one-night stands with men for
ten years. A few men became my
good friends, but it was mainly
sex that kept us seeing each
other.
I began to have real feelingsof
guilt about my homosexual
activity when I had my third
sexual encounter with a man,
when I was 12. We were caught
by my grandmother, and this led
to a stern lecture from my
mother about the evil of
homosexuality. So even though
it was pleasurable, sex with men
made me unhappy because it
didn’t bring love; it brought
guilt.
When I was 15 I begin to think
about my future, my goals in life.
I decided that I wanted to have a
wife and children. I knew I’d
have to be able to relate to a
women’s body and mind. It was
easy to find girls willing to go out
with me, and many of the young
women were interested in hav
ing sex with me. But what was
unusual to me was that most of
them were also interested in
getting to know me as a person.
This was quite different from the
grown men I was accustomed to,
whose interest seldom went
beyond sex. Still, I didn’t have
sex with any of these women,
because I feared I would be
impotent. My mind wanted to be
with a women, but my body still
desired men, and I continued to
have sex with them.
MY LIFE WAS FOREVER
CHANCED when I was 17. A
good friend led me, an atheist, to
believe in the Bible as the word
of Cod. He said that he had
recently found peace, joy and
wisdom through this belief, and I
could see that indeed his own
habits and outlook on life had
changed. I prayed for God to
move in my life also and for a
woman to enter my life with
whom I could share my faith and
future, my body and soul. I also
prayed for strength to resist the
desire to have sex with men, but
despite this I soon weakened and
resumed having relations with
them.
Then I met my future wife right
after my twentieth birthday.
Early on I told her of my past, and
she was shocked but not
repelled. We began to see each
other often, friendship turned to
love, and two years after we met
we were married. We now have a
2V2-year-old son and another
child on the way.
Sporadically, during our first
three years of marriage, I had sex
with them. I felt guilt and self-
hatred, and the insecurity and
depression my wife felt on
finding out about these affairs
drove her to drink heavily. She
threatened to leave me but
never did. After each incident I
begged to be forgiven, and she
forgave me. It is a rare love that
will stand after being subjected
to the heartache brought on by
such outrageous behavior.
The turning point in our
marriage was the stillbirth of our
first child, a boy. My wife and I
were devastated. I could see, as
never before, that our marriage
would die too if I persisted in
having sex with men. I prayed, as
never before, for God to give me
strength, and since that time,
over three' years ago, not once
have I given any consideration to
having sex with men. The
sadness in our marriage has been
replaced by great joy, happiness
and peace. We have experienc
ed new heights of pleasure and
satisfaction in our sex life, and we
are united in faith, love and the
goals of our marriage.
Eleven months after losing our
son, my wife gave birth to a
healthy boy, James Jr. I held her
hand and spoke words of com
fort and encouragement ot her
as she went through childbirth.
And suddenly there he was —
our son, a new life — beautiful,
miraculous. I felt both proud and
humble.
TWO YEARS OF BEING A
FATHER have taught me a lot
about myself and my son. I’ve
learned that our expression of
love through physical contact is
wholesome and important. The
importance lies in sharing
natural affection —James Jr. will
never be too old to hug and hold
me. I realize that this is what I
needed in childhood, the natural
fatherly affection of a man.
As a parent my goal is to be a
positive role model for our
children to look up to. This
includes being a provider and
protector who gives love and
proper discipline. It means living
a moral standard, not just
preaching one, that our kids will
want to emulate. It also means
doing my best to inform them of
and protect them from the
actions of those who would take
advantage of their young in- ;
nocence. Inthisway out children
should be prepared to face the
harsh realities of the world.
My past has made me ap
preciate being a husband and
father perhaps even more than
the average man. When I come
home from work and my wife
and son greet me, I feel a
glowing satisfaction, a profound
contentment. Loving them has
taught me to love and respect
myself. It is with thanks to God
and my wife that I have come to
perceive myself as a man, not
only in terms of my sexual
preference and prowess but also
in terms of my commitment to
my woman, my children — to my
family. I would not trade my life
with my family for anything in
the world.
lames Peter Duncan is a writer
who lives and works in Chicago.
Culled from Essence, October,
1984.
Julian Bond Speaks At Fall ‘84 Honors Day
By Ronald Wilson
Staff Writer
Is it true or just a propaganda
when one man is described by
another as a “consummate
Morehouse man?” To say that
this statement is true, we should
first understand what the word
consummate means. Webster
tells us that it means “complete
or perfect in every way.” The
completeness and perfection of
Julian Bond’s eloquent wit was
demonstrated to the brothers of
“The House” a few weeks ago at
one of our most outstanding
unified assemblies of this
semester. Popular consensus
says to me that few walked away
from the so-called “best
assembly of the year” unim
pressed.
Julian Bond was born in
Nashville and educated at
Morehouse. He was an active
participant in demonstrations
that led to the eventual "abolish-
ment”of segregation. In1966the
U.S. Supreme Court ruled un
animously that he should be
seated in the House; it was there
that Bond served four terms.
Bond was once nominated for
the vice-presidency of the Un
ited States and he is currently
president of the Atlanta branch
of the NAACP. In 1977, Bond
played the part of a civil rights
lawyer in the movie “Greased
Lightning.” Finally, Bond has
hosted a Morehouse television
favorite, "Saturday Night Live.”
Bond came to the brothers
with the rare skill of being
humble yet direct. His
appearance complimented his
attitude; dressed in a gray suit,
white shirt, and burgundy tie, he
spoke with humble eloquency
about Reagan and his future
plans stating that “Three years
ago, Reaganomics was an un
proved economic theory, but
today Reaganomics is an un
proved economic theory.” He
went on to say “The average
black family has suffered
economically since 1980, and
1980-83 income for typical black
families fell more than any other
group. The crowd roared a‘
The offices of The Maroon
Tiger were broken into on two
occasions this month and per
sonal items (shortwave
radio/cassette, Nikon EM
camera, lens, flash and pictures
of Daddy King’s memorial and
funeral services) worth about
$600.00, belonging to Editor-In-
Chief Freddie Asinor were stolen
from these offices. Official
report has been lodged with the
Chief of Internal Security Jeff
Whatley, but Asinor remarked
that the break-ins will not in
anyway deter “us from doing our
duty to the community that
we’re serving.”
Bond exposed the current ad
ministration’s motives. “The
Reagan administration opposes
abortion yet advocates the death
penalty. Life begins at concep
tion and ends at birth; the
administration is marching
backwards toward the 18th cen
tury; this administration is the
first to use food as a weapon.
Over the last four years three
million children were pushed off
school meal lists.”
In conclusion, Bond stated
that, “Reagan would like to turn
back the civil rights clock until it
becomes a sundial.”
The calm yet fiery personality
of the Honorable Julian Bond
(Continued on Page 19)
Asked whether he suspected
anybody for these acts, the
Editor-In-Chief said he will not
rule out a conspiracy to "steal”
editorial materials meant for
publication in this issue. He
announced that The Maroon
Tiger was in contact with a
security agency for the installa
tion of security mechanisms in
the office of the Editor-In-Chief
and the Editorial Conference
Room.
He advised the Morehouse
family to report to the Internal
Security any break-ins and or any
suspicious persons on this cam
pus.
About 250 students were
honored at the Honor's Day
celebration at the college early
this month.
To qualify for this honor, one
must have a grade point average
of 3.00 or above with no grade
below a "C" to be listed on the
Honor Roll and a cumulative 3.00
or above to appear on the Dean’s
List.
Seniors who were inducted
into the Phi Beta Kappa Honor
Society were William
Armstrong-Mensah
Accounting
Banking and Finance
Biology
Business Administration
Chemistry/Engineering
Computer Science
Economics
Engineering/Mathematics
English
History
Insurance
Interdisciplinary Science
Management
Mass Communications
Mathematics
Music
Philosophy
Physics/Engineering
Political Science
Psychology
Religion
Sociology
(Physics/Engineering), Richard
Bolden III (mathematics/
Engineering), Paschal Nyachowe
(Biology/Pre-Med) and Kalian
Thomas (Accounting/Manage
ment).
Top ranking students in each
Class were Senior Kalian
Thomas, Junior Dewitt
Fortenberry, Sophomore Ray
mond Keaton, and Freshman
Christopher Stanard.
Also mentioned were top
seniors in their major fields of
study:
Kalian D. Thomas
Charles J. Hawkins
Paschal Nyachowe
Terry P. Boyd
David A. Burns
Cavanaugh A. Webb
Quince T. Brinkley
Richard Bolden, III
Orlando McGruder
Sanford E. Watson, II
Erastus N. Migwi
Gregory L. Brown
Sheldon C. Bynum
Freddie A. Asinor
Donald McGill
Stephen B. Oldham
Claude R. Alexander
George W. Sherrell, IV
Quinton S. Seay
Clyde Watkins, Jr.
Michael J. Johnson
Steven Carson
Tigergate Hits Morehouse