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The Party: Another Reason to Put it in Your Mind
By Marc Joseph
Editor-in-Chief
Ever been victimized by
the Saturday Night Demon?
Ever had tests, rest, reading, or
simply being to do, and
forsaked it all cuz the sixth
night vulture swept you up in
its claws and carried you,
against your will, to the
nearest party? No need to
front, we've all been through
it. See if this sounds familiar.
Me and my thoughts were
coolin' out together on a
Saturday night in late July
1996. Pops was out of town.
Moms was asleep. Sis was at a
friend's, and Love was in
another state. Just me and my
thoughts in an empty house,
which at present was filled
with the sound of a ringing
telephone. It was cousin Gary:
"Shatisha blah blah blah Brews
blah blah blah mad weed blah
blah blah MAD FEMALES
blah blah blah 236th offa
Linden blah blah blah Peace."
My foot was pressin' down on
the gas pedal before rationality
had a chance to get up off the
canvas and keep my ass home.
TKO'd by Saturday night once
again.
I met up with Gary and
the fellas a few blocks away
from the set so we could all
make our entrance together.
As we walked through the
gate into Shatisha's backyard,
about four of her closest
friends and 300 other random
niggaz, who heard the music
from outside, awaited uS. I
bobbed my head and
occasionally whispered
something to my boys and
tried to look indifferent and
interesting at the same time:
The feeling-your-way-into-the
party-shuffle.
After a while I noticed that
whenever a group of sisters
walked in, they'd walk around
the whole party and end up on
the opposite side of where
they entered from. Whenever
some brothers walked in, they
did the same thing, except they
came to rest on the same side
they entered. The effect was
high school dance-like, with
the boys on one side and the
girls on the other.
Well, this was of no
concern to me since I was
really just there to listen to
music and cool out with the
fellas. (Honestly, baby, I
wasn't lookin' at no other
women, honest.) The
separation, however, seemed
to have a severe effect on my
partners in crime.
"Ain't nobody dancin'."
"These b*tches is frontin'."
."Is they gay?"
"What the f*ck?"
Just when it seemed like
the party was destined for
flopdom, a saving grace rained
down from the depths of the
speakers, magically bringing
the masses together, and the
asses in collective sway: The
DJ played "Put it in Your
Mouth." Man, once that record
came on, you woulda thought
the keys to the gates of heaven
opened in the middle of the
dance floor. Where once I was
among 50 or so brothers
chillin' on the sidelines, I was
now completely alone.
Now for those of you who
haven't heard Akineyle's latest
and most popular gem to date,
let me assure you that the "it"
referred to in the title is NOT
a Jello pudding pop. There've
been songs in the past that
have made passing,
metaphorical
allusions to oral
sex (SWV's
"Downtown"),
but leave it to the
hip-hop nation to
make "goin'
down" a PARTY
ANTHEM.
The song
itself is kind of
catchy, and yeah,
you can dance to
it. But I'd be
lying if I didn't
say that my heart
sunk at the collective reaction
of the party. Nas can talk about
"walking hand in hand," and
we don't flinch. But when
Foxy brags about her nana,
and Ak tells us he'll "play like
Herbie and hand you a c*ck"
Continued on page 10
Khari Shiver/Staff
Is anything wrong with a little ‘Bump and
Grind?’
By Randy Walker
Staff Writer
Every once in a while a
woman will simply tell a guy
who approaches her that she
is just not interested. Many
times, though, women,
especially black women, find
far more creative ways of U-
turning brothers. This has
almost become the dominant
theme of relations between
black men and black women
— exercising serious
confusion in dealing with the
opposite sex. A list of turn
downs that I have pieced
together over the years, one
way or another, goes as
follows:
- "I'm not interested."
(RARITY!!!)
-"I have a boyfriend."
-"I am already involved
with someone." (Too bad she
didn't say that when she was
all-up on a brother.)
- "Oh, I'm very busy," she
says with an overwhelmed
expression.
- "I'm not looking for a
relationship." (Especially in a
club.)
- "I just came out of a bad
relationship."
- "You know, my phone is
not working." Or "I don't have
a phone, and I don't like giving
out my roommate's number."
(Very slick.)
- "Yeah, we should all get
together and hang out some
time."
- "Anyway." (Whipping
her neck around, with an
attitude.)
-"Ha! Ha! Ha!"
If she does give you a
second glance, it's usually
followed by "Do you drive?"
(Uh, oh. I hear "Tell Me"
playing in the background.)
More interesting,
however, are some women's
use of nonverbal actions.
These are given off
immediately or over time, yet
tend to suggest the same idea:
She acts like she didn't
hear you. (HELLO???)
She rolls her eyes and
switches off like a true diva.
She avoids making eye
contact with you.
Continued on page 10
By Ytasha L. Womack
Contributing Writer
Do you really want to
know why Woman X, who
took your number and flashed
that winning smile never
called? Because by the time
she got home, she couldn't
remember which guy you
were. You were the fifth guy
who approached her that day,
and you inadvertently said the
exact same lines guys No. 2
and No. 4 said. You had the
same mannerisms and lack of
sincerity. And you couldn't
stop your eyes from
wandering when you spoke.
The typical guy doesn't
introduce himself. He stops
her when she's obviously busy
and runs down the same list
he used with each girl he
approached that day.
(1) What's your name? / (2)
Where are you from?/(3)
What school do you attend? /
(4) Can I get your number?
Although the woman
may have intentions of calling
to be polite, the guy has done
nothing to make himself stand
apart from the crowd. In
essence, she has no reason to
call.
Guys, if you approach a
woman, it is highly probable
that you were not the only one.
(Just like she wasn't the only
one you approached.)
Therefore, you must
distinguish yourself from the
crowd by being sincere and
original. Say something that
is reflective of your own
personality. That's all she has
to go by.
Remember, the objective
of a line is to get the woman's
attention. But many guys
recycle the same lines. The
most famous ones include:
"You dropped something" or
"Haven't I met you
somewhere before?" Unless
you have a good follow-up,
you can forget it.
Others try to play off the
woman's current activity.
Examples:
Girl eating. Guy: "Can I
have some?"
Girl reading. Guy: "What
you reading?"
Continued on page 10
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