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FEATURES
Monday, March 22, 1999
THE MAROON TIGER
PAGE 9
ASK RAJ
Dear Raj is filling in for this issue in place of Dear Vivi.Please send questions
and queries to the same place; Archer Hall room 115, or e-mail at
m .tigers# morehouse.edu.com.
Dear Raj,
I am a graduating senior here at Morehouse and 1 have been dating the
same girl for three years. Last month, while she was out of town one night, I
got drunk and cheated with another girl. It was only a one night stand, and I
really love my girlfriend. Now my one night stand is threatening to tell my
girlfriend. What do I do?
- Drunken Cheater
Dear Drunken Cheater,
You know you done messed up, right? First of all, you need to re-evalu
ate your relationship. If you really love her, why did you cheat on her? Since
you’re graduating this semester, where do you expect the relationship to go?
These are all questions you need to ask yourself. The second thing you have to
do is damage control. If you decide to continue with this relationship, you have
a few options. Every relationship is built on trust and honesty. In principle, you
really should tell her and have a face to face discussion about it. If the two of
you really love each other, you’ll work it out. On the other hand, you could
always call your one nighter’s bluff. (Neither Dear Raj nor the Maroon Tiger or
its affiliates espouse this idea.) Chances are, she doesn't have the cajones to
actually call you out, and even if she did, chances are your girlfriend is more
likely to believe you if you lay the game down flat. How good these chances
are is another question, so if you really love your girlfriend and don't want to
hurt her, take your punishment and tell her. And stay away from the drink, man.
Dear Raj,
It seems like all of my friends are having sex but me. I'm not religious
or anything, and I’m not bad looking. I really feel like I'm missing out. How
do I go about finding a girl who is willing to have sex with me?
Assless in Atlanta
Dear Assless in Atlanta,
I can kind of see why you’re having problems in the relationships de
partment. First, stop worrying about what your friends are doing, or saying
they’re doing. Sex is a beautiful and important pan of life, but it can cause as
many problems as it can pleasures. I’m not going to preach to you about how
sex should be reserved for people who love each other, or who want to have
children because, let’s face it, that isn’t always how it works out. However,
having sex should be taken seriously, and you seem to think it's just about
impressing your friends. Most girls who know you're just out for the good stuff
ain’t going to give it to you, anyway . (They can tell. They're a lot smarter than
a lot of us give them credit for.) Stop worrying about trying to get some, and go
out and get to know some girls for who they are. If the natural progression of
that relationship leads to sex, great, but even if it doesn’t, you might meet some
people you really like and care about. If this idea doesn’t appeal to you, get a
car loan, buy a Lexus, and cruise around Decatur a lot. You have a fifty-fifty
chance of getting lucky or getting jacked, and you seem to be the type who
would find those odds acceptable. And remember, you can always increase
your chances of living a syphilis-free life by protecting yourself.
By Ignorance Incorporated
^fttestions
1. YmTknow I was joking about the white h@#$ ,
right? 2. Shouldn’t we treat our beautiful black women with
Ynore respect? 3. What if the Final Four ended in a draw?
k Would Don King still get 50%? 5. Isn't it good to see an
factual Maroon Tiger newspaper again? 6. Ain’t this the
Ivors? time of year to find out your girl is community
property? 7. When's the nextUndergroundLive? 8. Shouldn’t
fit be called Cult of Icon Live from now on? 9. IfFAMU can
fget a NCAA bid, why can't we play in our own damn
tournament? 10. How many Don Kings does it take to fix a
right? 12 . Ain’t Deborah Cox giving Jenifer Lopez a rump,
ter, a run for her money? 13. But don’t that freshwoman
from Tennessee got them both beat? 14. Do y’all even know
Yvho our founders are? 15. Am I the only one who could use
fa drink right now? 16. Does anyone know where I can find
Forbes Hall? 17. If you can fit seven freshmen in an Escort
\ couldn’t everyone from Phoenix Towers just move into a
^Suburban? 18. Wouldn’t it be less prone to fire hazards?
1/ 9. Does that kid with the iced out Seiko listen to “Imaginary
IPlayer” 24 hours a day? 20. Can we have a moment of
filence for the founders and all the people who made it
possible for us to be here?