Newspaper Page Text
Friday May 14, 1999
THE MAROON TIGER
PAGE 10
FEATURES
Co-Kdiwr aiUm.'
Co-Edta in Chief
4jJtestions
1 .Still ain't told your mama you ain't graduating, huh? 2 Am
1 the only one who found Jesus during exam time? 3.Would you
describe that fashion show as a travesty, a farce, or as buffoonery
embodied? 4.But bad as it was, wasn't there a whole hell of a lot of
ass on stage? 5And aren't you glad that wasn't the case at the
Miss Black and Gold Pageant? 6.Speaking of which, Did anyone
actually stick around to find out who won?? 7.Congratulations
due and all, but didn't that Delta line look tike they just came back
from rock fighting in Kosovo? 8.Does AKAstandfor AKAhotic?
9 Aren't you glad you went to high school in the ghetto all of a
sudden? 10.But to be perfectly honest, wouldn't it benefit our
particular institution if some nerd tookout the Morehouse football
team? 11 .If Master P is one of George magazine's top 25 political
figures, then shouldn't Bill Clinton be on Black Tail's 25 most
bout it list.? 12Now that you think about it, there really is a lot of
dirt in the south, ain't there? 13. Will this be the year someone
from Texas actually graduates? 14,Or will they just round up
another keg, and get to shootin' ? 15How long will it be before we
getourfirstNakedQsighting? 16.Andhowdid they get fraternity
oftheyearwhen they just crossed? 17 How many of us know the
Star Wars release schedule better than our exam schedule? 18 And
speaking of our exam schedule, whose idea was it to have eight
o'clock tests? 19 Aren't we all looking forward to summer school ?
20. What do you mean, Withdrawal period's over?
ASK RAJ
Dear Raj,
RS. I would also like to videotape the event!
Dear Curious Cat,
Sincerely,
Ball and Chain
Dear Ball and Chain,
1 felt your pain all the way up to the last sentence. You face a dilemma everyone faces
at some point in their life: whether to keep looking or to settle. It sounds to me like you've got
a great girl and all, but son, you're young. You haven't even graduated from college yet and
you're thinking about marriage. Relationships in college and in the "real world" are different.
You probably haven't lived with this woman, had to file your taxes together, and you cer
tainly haven't raised any crumb-snatchers together. 1 don't see what the rush is. Get settled
into your new job and new environment before you make a decision like this. The fact that she
is threatening you if you don't "get with the plan" disturbs me. Explain to her that you do
need to get out and experience different thinngs bbefore you settle down. If you really are
meant for each other, you'll be together. Just remember, you have the rest of your lives to
make this decision, don't rush it.
I am a graduating senior at Spelman, and J don't have a boyfriend, but 1 date a few
people. I am particularly dating this one guy who's very’ sexually liberated. He has suggested
that as a graduation celebration, we have a threesome with my best friend, who's also my 1
roommate. I've never had an intimate relationship with another girl, but 1 would be lying if 1
said I hadn't thought about it, and my roommate is built like a brick house. J've never done
anything like this before, but I really would like to go ahead and get my feet wet. How do 1
approach my roommate about this?
Sincerely,
Curious Cat
You seem quite eager to go ahead with this idea your friend has. Before you approach
your roommate, you do have to think about a few things. Since you're going to be graduating,
you don't have to worry about dealing with the sometimes nasty after-effects of group sex:
jealousy, confusion, awkward feelings toward one another etc. Despite the fact that you and
your male friend are into the idea, your roommate might not be as open-minded as the two of
you. As you guys are best friends, having sex with each other can open up a whole can of
worms. Adding a third person can present even more problems. They might not be attracted
to each other, or they might be too attracted to each other for your comfort. Approach the
situation delicately, and ask her what she thinks of the idea. Be frank and honest but don't be
overly serious. A little humor can probably defuse any tension that might surface. If she goes
along with it, you're set, but if she isn't interested, don't pressure her. As far as videotaping
the event is concerned, understand that nine times out of ten, these things come back to haunt
you, and since I'm sure you're interested in a professional career, 1 suggest you not leave any
evidence around, if you insist on having a camera present, make sure you have the only tape,
and that it's stored away somewhere safe. {Remember Pamela and Tommy Lee.) Jf your fan
tasy goes through, have fun, and remember to be safe.
Dear Ra j,
1 am a graduating senior and I am having a serious problem. My girlfriend of three
years is also graduating and she wants to take our relationship to the next level (that being
getting engaged). I love my girlfriend very much, but I don't really know that I'm ready to be
married. While I could see raising a family with this woman! She's beautiful, talented and
intelligent), I'm going to be working at an investment firm in New York, and I would like to
see the world (and some other women) before I settle down. On the other hand, 1 don't know
if I'll ever find someone better than my girl, and 1 don't want to risk losing her, which she has
made it clear is going to happen If I don't get down with the plan. What do I do?