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ATLANTA BARB-Page 11
The Amazing Adventures Of Super Fag
Voi. 1, Episode 2, Part 3 "The Big Jockstrap Caper”
By Zelda Zorch
As we left the Heroic
Summer, Super Fag, in
i cloud of dirty ski vies -
shoved down the USS
Bloomersnatcher’s laun-
iry chute by the insidious
Dr. Gayhter--we find
Wonder Lez searching on
ler own for the fatal ship-
nent of jockstraps which,
f* Dr. Gayhater has his
vay, will bring him an
mmense fortune to use
;o perpetuate the oppres
sion of Downtrodden Gays
Ducking into a little of
fice, Wonder Lez is sur
prised to come face to
face with the cute little
Navy wave, Sugarbuns
Delight, a former erotic
relation from years past.
“Wonder Lez!” ex
claims the cute little
wave, happily suprised.
“Yes, Sugarbuns, dar
ling, it is I, but I haven’t
time to explain. I’m here
on very important secret
business ,” replies the
Dauntless Darling.
‘ ‘But of course, Zippy
Zapper of Dykedom, ’ ’
says the gorgeous little
wave, melting back on the
desk:
Ever ready to do her
patriotic duty, expecially
for* old times sake, as in
this case, the Tumescent
Tonguer of Willing Waves
proves her classy clitoral
clarity of technique.
* ‘Oh Stupendous Stud of
Dauntless Dykes, you
really haven’t changed at
all!” exclaims the ec
static young woman,
adding: Now, How can I
help you?”
“You have, already,”
Gallantly replies the Box
Boggling Bull. “But, oh,
yes. I’m looking for a
certain shipment that was
brought on board a little
while ago.”
“Ugh!” exclaims the
beautiful breast • bulging
wave, “it’s in compart
ment number twelve, but
if you knew what was
in it , . .”
“No time now to ex
plain.” says the Bold Box
Lover. “I’ve got to find
It. What’s that?”
“That's one of the
large laundry baskets on
wheels,” replies Sugar
buns.
“I've got to borrow it
for a while. Everything
will be okay. Goodbye.
Miraculous Morsel. ' I
trust you will say nothing
of my being here.” says
the Dauntless Dyke as
she climbs into the basket
covers herself. and
begins to Slowly propel!
perself deftly by forcing
one heel of her patent
leather combat boots
through the bottom
“So, who’d believe me
if’ I did. No Sweat, Zip
py Zapper, I sure as hell
ain’t cruising for a Sec-
tion-8,” says Sugarbuns
as the Bold Bull propells
herself out of sight.
After moving along for
a brief time. Wonder Lez
suddenly hears voices and
footsteps approaching.
“Hey, what’s this
basket of shit doing here,
a harsh voice barks out.
“Get it to the laundry,
and afterwards call all
hands to report to com
partment 12 to pick up
their new jock issue by
0915 hours. They’re to
put them on and stand for
mation topside by 0925
hours - in dress whites!”
Fuming, but containing
her famous temper, the
famous Box Boggling Bull
feels herself being pro
pelled along by unseen
hands. She hears a door
open feels the basket
shoved quickly forward,
and then hears the door
slam behind. Waiting
a few minutes to deter
mine that no one is
around, Wonder Lez
slowly lifts up her head
from beneath the pile of
wave lingerie, and, seeing
that all is clear, she nim
bly jumps out of the bas
ket.
“Great Onerous Ov
aries!” mutters the
Laudable Lesbian. “WHat
is that terrible smell!”
Glancing around, she
notes the huge mound of
soiled skivvies, “Ecch!”
she gags as she saves
herself by stuffing some
panties in a bra and hold
ing it to her nose like
a gasmask.
“What do you mean by
‘Ecch!” asks Super Fag
who has been awakened
out of his ecstatic state
on the top of the mound
by the hurried entrance
of the Laudable Lesbian.
“Only a true artist could
appreciate the beauty of
all this!” he adds.
“Bullshit!” roars the
Dauntless Dyke. But then
containing herself she
says: “We’ve got only
eight minutes to get to
that shipment. It’s in
compartment 12.”
“Why look. Prodigious
Puss,” exclaims Super
Fag,, “Twelve is painted
on that door there! ’ ’
“Right. Prodigious
Pansy.’’ replies Wonder
Lez “Come on down!”
with only the utmost
resignation to his duty to
Gavdom. the Heroic Hum
mer. taking deep breaths
eases himself sensuously
down until he stands be
side Wonder Lez. and
says Let’s peak in.”
Tift* .japan«-s<- lhat y«»i: will hav»* had” lurk if you
\v<*ar n<*\v shoe- ■<» ; h“ iavalorv.
Peaking in they note
that there is only one of
Dr. Gayhater’s attendants
who has just opened the
large box of jockstraps.
Quickly wrapping her
famous flesh colored, fur
edged cape about her in
order to disguise herself.
Wonder Lez slowly
throbbs into the compart
ment.
“Wow!” exclaims Dr.
Gayhater s straight at
tendant. “I must be
dreaming.’ What a way
to go!” Quickly unzipping
his fly. he throws himself
at the huge throbbing
mass only to meet head
on with the steel fist of
Dauntless Dykedom.
knocking him out cold.
“Quick,” cries Wonder
Lez, “let’sthrow our All-
Purpose - Temporary -
Crotch Irritant in:’
The Fearless Queen
nimble rushes up in her
famous lemon shiffon
sheath, purple cloche, and
peacock feathered wed
gies. and casts her pow
der in also saying:
“Forgive me boys, but
it’s War against Gayhater
Besides, it's only tem
porary...” The Elegant
Emancipator is suddenly
taken with a fit of tears.
“What the hell's the
matter with you now?”
asks Wonder Lez, yanking
the Fiaming Fear
less Faggot within her
cloak, and commencing
to throb toward the port-
side door which opens on
a narrow deck and the
open sea. “ You said it
was only a temporary ir
ritant!’’
"1 know.” sniffs Super
Fag. but it seems like
such a terrible waste!”
What do you mean- -
waste?” asks the Laud
able Lesbian as she rea
ches the rear hauser and
deftly lifts both herself
and the clinging crying
Dauntless Darling over
the side and down to the
hidden Gaymobile.
“I forgot to tell you,
Big Bull, sobbs the He
roic Hummer, “but my
All -. Purpose - Crotch
Irritant has another
purpose. It makes them
•horny as all hell! Oh.
what a waste!” cries the
now Hysterical Heroic
Hummer.
“Well, you can stick
around for liberty tonight
growls the Brilliant Bull
adding: “ Although I sure
as hell don’t know what
for! Now’ if we had used
it on some of those nifty
little nighties or precious
panties!'’
Next Vol 1. Ep.2 Part 4
of “The Big Jockstrap
Conspiracy”
$ fitter
| "Naim The Barb”|
Contest
Wivts KID 1
HARO HATJ. f
yfflhi 0.
Gay Pride Week 1973
Ask The Doctor
Send All questions you
would like answered to:
Ask The Doctor - Atlanta
Barb, P.O. Box 82543 -
Atlanta, Ga. 30354.
Q. Do you think like so
many of your colleagues
that we are perverted or
that we should be left
alone by society to lead
our own lives as best we
can?
A. People should lead
their own lives as best
they can as long as it
is productive and mean
ingful. that’s all that
should be asked.
Q. What is your opinion
onbeastiality?
A. Under any circum
stances I think beastiality
has to be considered ab
normal, and as S&M are
somewhat also. In other
words, in an intra-per
sonal relationship one
cannot be a Sadist or
Masochist and have a
meaningful relationship
with another person. To
say what turns somebody
on sexually would not be
quite accurate. They
would be extremely sel
fish. This of course would ,
not denote any warm and
meaningful relationship
between two people.
Q. Do you think that gay
people will ever be ac
cepted as “normal” hu
man beings?
A. There’s no question
about it. I think that slow
ly but surely this is
coming about. I would
have to be optimistic. As
time has gone on we have
accepted newer things in
art, in movies, in theatre,
etc. . . Being able to
accept people whose sex
uality is not perhaps in
keeping with the majority
or is somewhat different,
is no longer that unfath
omable. in general the
American Society has be
come mature and is better
able to tolerate certain
things.
CongratulationsI Atlanta
On Gay Pride Week
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