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Page 12 The Southern Israelite YOUR ASSURANCE OF PURE DAIRY PRODUCTS Foremost Milk is Rieli, Nourishing Country Milk . . . absolutely freed from all disease germs by perfect pasteurization You may have complete confidence in building your baby’s muscles, nerves and blood, hard ening his teeth and bones safely with Foremost. Only health abounds in Foremost. Milk and ice cream sold by grocers and druggists. CALL. FOR IT BY NAME FOREMOST DAIRY PRODUCTS ^1::' -I. ■" I! ■ ■■:I r:,!!M i;I..I I! ;I I J,l,. ■ l: ''; ^GENEHALnw —goes a long way to make friends Don't Start the Season on Doubtful Rubber Equip Now h! I,ow Level Prices UR G-T-A-C credit plan makes it actually easier to own big, long-lasting Generals than to huv cheap* grade, fast-wearing tires for cash. Use this famous plan to huv while tire prices are still at rock bottom, and when the pleasure of Gen eral's uninterrupted mile age means the most. Pay Out of Income—Terms to Suit All ATLANTA’S LEADING TIRE STORE GENERAL TIRE SERVICE CO. Spring St., corner Cain WA. 9212-9213 Scanning the Jewish Horizon By DAVII) SCHWARTZ DON’T PASSOVER THIS It’s time to tell my favorite Pass- over story. Credit story to Philip Wattenberg, Zionist, philanthropist, humorist and the only Galician Jew, who boasts of the fact—that I know. A Jew was arrested on a petty lar ceny charge and was arraigned be fore a Jewish judge in the Bronx. “Is this your first offense?” asked the Judge. “No,” replied the Jew. “Have you ever stolen anything be fore?” thundered the Judge. “The Afikomen,” replied the Jew ish prisoner. HALT! WHO GOES? Of course, if I wanted to, I could tell the story also about the Jewish soldier who was standing guard. A Jewish soldier approached. “Who goes there?” hallooed the Jewish guard. “Private Cohen.” “Give the Password,” continued the guard. “Matzoth,” replied the soldier. "Passover”, said the guard. As I say, I could tell this story, if I wanted to, but I won’t do it. It’s whiskers reach the floor. BROUN TO WRITE JEWISH HISTORY To talk about more serious things, 1 see that Heywood Broun, famous columnist, and George Britt, noted newspaperman, are collaborating on a history of the Jews. Of late, we have been having a surfeit of Jewish histories. Lewis Browne did it with “Stranger Than Fiction” and I)r. Sacher of the Hillel Foundation has just come out with another. I believe also Israel Gold berg or Rufus Learsi has recently done one. Nevertheless, I am rather curious about this proposed tome—it being the first in recent times to be done by writers who are not Jews. Once upon a time, the writer of these lines was employed on a Wash ington newspaper. The editor where of was a non-Jew and this editor made it an invariable rule to send Jewish reporters to cover Protestant or Catholic assignments, and Protest ant or Catholic reporters to cover Jewish assignments. Result was—I soon became more acquainted with things Christian than most of the Christian members of the staff. And perhaps the reports, too, were better—the man on the inside often wants perspective. BROUN TELLS ONE I see, by the way, that Broun re cently in his column, related the story of the beggar who accosted a man and solicited a contribution of a dollar. “You’re a fool to go around asking people for a dollar,” said the man, but I’ll give you a quarter. Here it is.” The beggar flipped the coin into his pocket and replied: “I’ll take the quarter, but don’t you try and teach me my business.” This story as Broun says, is apocry phal, I first heard it told of the Roths childs, years ago. STOP ME, IF YOU’VE HEARD l T I hope Mr. Broun violates the cus tomary rules and spices his historv with some good jokes. Here’s one that I think he can to advantage. Credit the story t Harry Simonhoff, member of F.xecu tive Committee of Zionist Organiza tion, former member of the South Carolina legislature, etc. etc. An international conference wa« convened in London to discuss the albatross. The Englishman read a paper on the locale and abode of the albatross. Th* German presented a discourse on the characteristics of the albatross, the Frenchman followed with a paper or the albatross in poetry. The Jew next arose: “I want to speak today on the albatross and its relation to the Jewish problem.” ALMOST PERSUADED Then Broun might use the story they tell of the great American law- yer, Rufus Choate. It is said that at one time some Jewish lawyer wa- associated with Choate in a law sui* When the case was over, the tw lawyers got together, facing the prob lem of how much to charge the;* client—or rather, how much he wouM stand for. The Jewish lawyer suggested a cer tain amount. Choate suggested an amount in et cess of that sum. Finally, Choate’s opinion prevail? and the client was billed for that sum And sure enough, he paid without pro test. “Almost thou persuadest me to b? a Christian,” remarked the Jewish lawyer in Shakespearean fashion to Choate. SCOTCHMAN AND JEW Then Mr. Broun, what about the one, Mr. Tuttle told the other night at the banquet to Herman Bernstein A Scotchman, a Jew, and represen tatives of other groups were at a d:r. ner in a fas’ ionable and expensive eatery. The waiter presented the bill for the party, and everybody wa9 worried as to who w r ould foot it. Suddenly, the Scotchman was hear ' to say: “I’ll take the bill, gentlemen, please let me have the bill. ’he Scotchman paid. * T ext day, the New York Times car 1 a big story headlined: Scotchman ys Jewish ventriloquist! FANNIE AND HAM lere, I see, by the papers that Fan- Brice is featured in an adverti nt endorsing Armours Ham. * ° t proves something and I hope. * ■ jun will include a large number h items—and there are plenty • book. The presentation of ssion Play by Morris Gest isentation of Ben Hur by - r here are any number of su esting miscellany that cou ;ten together. JEFFERSON AND FRAN [ came across a very .. m the other day in reading an ^ terican book—the reminisc ^ umbull, an artist who was a - —Washington ««