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THE SOUTBEEN ISRAELITE
rage SerM
PLAIN TALK—By Alfred Segal
Of Getting Into Heaven
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LADIES' and MEN'S HATS
My friend Mr Aleph and I
were at coffee-break together in
the Wheel Cafe of our town
when our talk came to the mat
ter of getting to heaven.
(Though I was taking my morn
mg sherry rather than coffee,
and I should add that his name
really isn’t “Aleph,” but rather
that his name begins with the
ietWi “A” and for that reason
1 speak of TiTm ”a^ ■“A1efiK”‘K 5 '’ / 1
He began: "Segal, what do you
know about heaven? You try
to give out Jewish wisdom every
week in the paper, and maybe
you know- something about heav
en, too. Tell us ”
But it wasn’t merely by hav
ing coffee that Mr. Aleph came
to this inspiration. Just after we
had sat down together at the
tabje, we were handed some
tragic news: A fine citizen of our
town had just died ... a man
not very rich but very noble of
character . a man who cared
about his neighbors all over
town, thuogh he did not know
them all ... a saintly sort. Nobl
est of Jews
"Yes, Segal,” said Mr Aleph,
“he was one of us who’ll surely
get to heaven. Do you think you
and I will be allowed to get up
there with him? You, Segal, may
be let in because as a columnist
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They use them as awards for doing chores around the
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So many S&H Green Stamps each week to daugh
ter for drying the dishes or helping clean house ... so
many to sonny for mowing the lawn or for other odd
jobs. Many housewives tell us it’s a wonderful way
to accomplish the twofold purpose of rewatding youngs
ters for tasks well done and showing them how thrift
pays.
Youngsters of every age from tots to teens love
S&H Green Stamps because they can redeem them for
a wide variety of quality items that are dear to chil
dren's hearts. Try this plan in your
home. You’ll be truly amazed to find
how well it works.
you can’t do much harm to other
people. But I’m a lawyer and I
guess that in my judgments I
may not always be righteously
fair” (Mr. Aleph is a finely
modest person.)
And that was how the talk of
our getting to heaven began. In
fact, Mr Aleph himself wasn’t
feeling any too suro of an after
life called heaven . . . “You
know,” hr said, “my Jewish edu
cation taught me little or noth
trig about heaven. Our rabbis in
their sermons seldom speak of
heaven, as if they weren’t any
too sure of it Our rabbis speak
mostly of making it good for all
the world down here. So unlike
a lot of Christian clergymen
whose eyes mostly reach up
there.”
Finally Mr. Aleph came to the
question of what I think about
it all about getting to heav
en. He winked satirically when
he suggested that I should know
something about heaven by rea
son of my wisdom in this coi-
lumn . “Wise guy!” he laugh
ed.
“Yes, Aleph,” I replied, “I
know all about heaven . . that
is to say, heaven as it should be
down here on the earth. A heav
en away up .there is too far for
my poor, weak mind ana eyes
to make out.
“I confessed: Yes, all I know
about heaven is in my dream of
establishing it right down here.
And what a hell we’re making of
this earth . . even just now. So
much hate blowing hot all over
the earth, and the world’s big
gest industries having to do with
weapons by which to kill other
people off, our science concerned
with physics and chemistry by
which to kill wholesale.
“You know, Aleph, if there is
heaven up there I can’t feel sure
that any of us down here on
earth will be let in. Isn't the
guilt upon all of us for the sins
of this earth? Who of us is with
out sin for letting this world go
to hell?”
“Yes, Aleph, I myself am old
enough to think maybe of dying
one of these days. I’m buried,
but let’s say my soul keeps go
ing up and up and up toward the
AUGUSTA NEWS
Mrs. Dora Serotta spent a few
days in Augusta visiting rela
tives and friends.
Mr. and Mrs. Morris Bolgla
visited recently in Chicago with
their children, Dr. and Mrs.
Julius Bolgla and children.
Mrs. Sam Pomerance is vaca
tioning at Miami Beach.
Max Bogoslawsky has been
elected the commander of Post
531, Jewish War Veterans of
Augusta.
Nathaniel Greenblatt, son of
Dr. and Mrs. Robert Greenblatt,
was honored at a party recently
at the home of Mr. and Mrs.
Edison Marshall. Nathaniel is
now residing in New York City
where he is casting director for
the Columbia Broadcasting Sys
tem.
Dr. Jack Masur was elected
president-elect of the American
Hospital Assn, at the associa
tion’s recent annual meeting in
Can Francisco.
purpose of gaining admission to
heaven
"I get to heaven’s door. I knock
and the door is opened to me by
a wise angel 'What do you
want?’ the angel asks. I reply my
name is Segal and have just come
up from doWn there on the earth
My body’s buried, but here’s
my soul all ready to get in here ”
"The wise angel protests: ‘Yes,
that’s it! You’re one of those hu
man beings out of hell on earth.
One of that awful lot’ You can’t
get i/i here!’
“Oh,” I say, “I myself tried to
be a fairly decent guy.”
man race who made a noil of ft
You don’t belong here . none
of you belongs.”
“Heaven’s door is closed
against me. My soul returns to
the earth: Maybe as a fairly de
cent soul, after all, I try to break
into the hearts and minds of
statesmen and politicians all over
the earth ... I sneak in and
whisper, ‘What the hell, and how
long will you keep hell going
down here on earth . . . hell and
hate and foul national ambitions
Snap out of it and begin building
heaven down here.’”
i went on to tell Mr. Aleph that
I don’t know a thing about
heaven up there, but feel sure
that all together we may start
heaven down here.
“So why as a columnist don’t
you get busy OB that idO%Z" jkr.
Aleph demanded. “Get it-sOirttd;
get all the rabbis and all the
clergies started Yes, once in<a
1 while your column may be read
by someone who’s hoping for^
heaven and will be happy to
hear from you on how to be
there.”
“Yes,” I replied, “I’ll start off
with a column in which I’ll quote
all I’ve been telling you about
heaven Thanks! Thanks!” Mr.
Aleph had finished his coffee
and I had drank down my sherry.
So we parted.
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