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THE SOUTHERN ISRAELITE
Friday, March 25, 1966
RECORD by Nathan Ziprin
•peration Matzoball
(A Seven Arts Feature)
jews in the past didn’t go in
much for spies, secret agents and
sleuthing, although the Bible
tells us Joshua had his spies too.
Now, Israel has its own FBI in
the Shin Beth, and the other day
Inspector Garelic, a Jew, became
the second top cop of the New
York police force next to the
Police Commissioner himself.
It was to he expected then, I
suppose. I mean that after the
success of James Bond there
should emerge Secret Agent Oy-
Oy-7, Israel Bond. The first book
about Israel Bond—Loxfinger—
was published some months ago
by Pocket Books.
The latest work by Sol Wein
stein is called Matzoball. It cen
ters about the employment of a
huge matzo ball as a missile. At
an international Home Exhibition
in Moscow, a house is being built
out of what is presumably matzo.
It is covered in an aluminum
wrapper. The matzo is so con-
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trived that, at the proper time,
it will explode and its fragments
scattered far and wide among the
Jews of Russia. Each of the frag
ments will have a message telling
the Jews of Russia that the Zion
ists are aware of their perilous
condition and working for them.
While the story is one of
breathless suspense, somehow we
think the use of matzo as a mis
sile is an unhappy idea. Matzo is
so innately a tender and s >nti-
mental thing. We recall how,
in our childhood, we Jewish chil
dren would always take some
matzos to our school teacher, the
melamed whose clan now is vir
tually extinct. In a somewhat
later period in our childhood life,
we would bring the indigenous
matzo to our American teacher,
a good Presbyterian who was in
trigued by it as much as we
youngsters were. In time she be
gan to look forward to them, oft
en saying “when does Yom Kip-
pur come around? I do want some
of those matzos.” In our inno
cence, we took her words to mean
that matzo was good for break
ing the Yom Kippur fast. When
she persisted in making the same
mistake of associating Yom Kip
pur with matzos after we made
it clear to her that Yom Kippur
was a day of fasting, we decided
that our teacher’s head wasn’t
open to Jewish learning.
The author of Matzoball raises
the question whether the inimit
able matzoball is made of plain or
egg matzos. But the problem re
mains unclarified. We are also
told of Israel Bond disguising him
self at the Matzo House as a
rabbi, but we fail to learn wheth
er he is an Orthodox, ‘Conserva
tive or Reform rabbi. If he was
an Orthodox rabbi there should
have been some bitter herbs
along with the matzos—but we
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As I have said, the thrill is
there. Col. Svetlov, the Russian
secret agent who has been tipped
off about Oy-Oy-7 is a very alert
fellow. You can tell that by the
brand of tobacco he smokes,
which is flavored with halvah,
so you might say he smokes and
cats at the same time. He stands
with his automatic in his hand as
Israel Bond begins to finger his
tie. He suspects that the mezuza
charm which Oy-Oy-7 wears on
his tie is a death-dealing device.
He is right. Oy-Oy-7 has but to
press the top part of the mezuza
and it will release a death-deal
ing poison called of course "Mol-
ochomovis,”
Colonel Svetlov finally seeks
to obtain the downfall of Israel
Bond with a luscious female. The
beautiful, blackeyed Annatevkah
is put on his trail with orders:
“Let him taste of your delectable
loveliness, then kill him.” All she
has to do is to draw from her
handbag a tube of lipstick, press
it on her sensual lips and when
he kissed her he would die of
cyanide poisoning. Mindful erf Ihe
Yiddish saying “af kein mayse
fregt men nit kein kashes” (never
question a story), it doesn’t even
occur to us to ask how the lady
might manage ,to escape the
deathly potion, though one might
surmise she was made of differ
ent mettle.
“Her hand moved closely,” the
author tells us, “closer to the lips
of Israel Bond. Then she scream
ed, no, I can’t do it. I love him.”
And thus it was that Israel Bond
had a narrow escape.
We are glad of course that Is
rael Bond is saved, for Israel
Bonds have much work yet to
do.
One thing still troubles us how
ever. Is Oy-Oy-7 the right num
ber? It should have been Oy-Oy-
18, for this, as you know, is Is
rael’s eighteenth year.
Designs for Ha hi
Yar Memorial Do
Not Identify Jews
WASHINGTON (JTA) — Ten
designs for a memorial to be
erected at Babi Yar, where be
tween 70,000 and 100,000 Ukrain
ian Jews were massacred by the
Nazi occupation forces during
World War II, are on display in
the Kiev Architects Club, the
Soviet Embassy announced.
In photographs of the proposed
memorial designs made available
here through the Novosti Press
Agency, an official Soviet serv
ice, the victims of the massacre
are not identified as Jews. One
of the proposed designs has the
words, “Babi Yar" carved on a
stone in four languages, one of
them Yidd'sh, but there is no
indicatir n that the Nazi victims
the memorial was des en ■(! to
commemorate were Jewsh. Se
lection of the winivne dos'en is
expected to l>e announced soon.
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