Newspaper Page Text
Friday, Jun* 30, 1972
THE SOUTHERN ISRAELITE
Pag« Eleven
Happiness Is ... A Father-Son Bar Mitzva
By Vida Goldgar
The celebration of Christmas
may not seem too relevant to
a unique B’nai Mitzva about
to take place in Atlanta . . . but
it was just that, says Ted Kop-
kin, that began his considera
tion two years ago of a double
Bar Mitzva with his son Mark.
On Saturday morning, July 8,
at Temple Sinai services, the
Kopkins, father and son, will
publicly demonstrate the fruits
of a learning experience which
has not only established a new
closeness between the two, but,
in the words of Mrs. Kopkin,
wife and mother of the B’nai
Mitzva, . . .“has spilled over and
touched us all.”
But back to Christmas ... in
a discussion with Rabbi Richard
Lehrman, right after Christmas
two years ago, Ted Kopkin was
expressing his strong feelings
that son Mark should have Bar
Mitzva. This is how he remem
bers that meeting.
“Well, Christmas had been all
around us, in the stores, in the
newspapers, at work, on the
radio, on television, in maga
zines, on billboards, in front of
churches, in front of govern
ment buildings, in schools,
school programs and on and on
and on.
“It became rather a sensitive
issue to be a Jew in the midst
of a Christian society. I felt I
had had a good positive Yiddish
upbringing, but not one filled
with Judaism. This I felt Mark
must have. I had not had a Bar
Mitzva or a formal program
teaching me the basics of my re
ligion. This I felt Mark should
have.”
As the conversation with
Rabbi Lehrman continued, Ted
Kopkin recalled his early child
hood education, “steeped in the
Yiddish Socialist culture and
based on membership in the
Chattanooga Arbeiter Ring at
whose “schule” we were taught
Yiddish and the wonderful heri
tage of Sholem Aledchem, Men-
dele Meicher Sforim, Y.L.
Peretz. We were also taught
about the. socialist struggle of
Eugene Victor Debs.”
But none of this, he relates,
helped the feeling of unease he
was experiencing in a Christian
environment. His goal was to
learn the positive aspects of
Judaism by studying with Mark,
rather than reacting against
Christianity.
“Fine,” said the rabbi, “Then
why not have a double Bar
Mitzva? You and Mark together.
I’ve never done it before. It
will be a first for both of us
and for Temple Sinai.”
After a lot of serious thought,
along with urging from Rabbi
Lehrman and Sinai’s educa
tional director Ben Walker, en
couragement from his wife and
enthusiastic acceptance from
Mark ("I think it would be
great. We can study and be
nervous together.”), Ted Kopkin
made his decision to join his
son in Bar Mitzva study. Even
his teen-age daughter Marian
gave her approval, “Wow —
what a cool idea! I think it’s
great.”
The study was serious, of
course . . . but, Mrs. Kopkin re
ports, it had its lighter mom
ents, too.
“When they were at the stage
of reading their Torah and
Haftorah portions more fluent
ly, Mark and Ted would have
“Torah races,” recording their
voices on tape. Many times they
would crack up laughing when
they replayed the tapes and
heard how one or the other
flubbed up the chant or sang
off key.”
Though father and son share
many common interests and go
often together to Falcons,
Hawks and Braves games, this
newest shared study program
has been particularly meanfcig-
ful in establishing a closer
relationship and gaining knowl
edge of each other. Yet, the
Kopkins, anxious not to “steal
Mark’s moment of glory,”
whch traditionally belongs to
the 13-year-old boy, even
worded the invitation as being
the Bar Mitzva of “Mark David
and his father, Theodore Jon
athan.”
The Kopkin family, with full
cooperation and encouragement
and material supplied by Rabbi
Lehrman, embarked on a rela
ted study of their relgious her
itage. Both Mr. and Mrs. Kop
kin enrolled in Hebrew classes
of the Adult Institute of Jewish
Studies at the AJCC. They
joined a study group to discuss
JewLsh books and explored the
relevance of ancient Judaism.
It was through Rabbi Lehr
man they learned that Jeremiah
was a predecessor to all the con
scientious objectors. They devel
oped a deep interest in biblical
archeology and the writings of
Rabbi Nelson E. Glueck.
The Kopkins are particularly
grateful to Rabbi Lehrman
who has been most excited and
enthusiastic about the whole
situation from the beginning. He
juggled his schedule to make
himself available for consulta
tion and assistance at the con
venience of Ted Kopkin.
His heightened interest in the
unusual ceremony taking place
Saturday is expressed by Rabbi
Lehrman thus. “Although I
have questioned 13 as the
proper age for Bar Mitzva be
cause the youngsters are going
through so many physical and
emotional changes, a father and
son studying together in such
depth and mutual understand
ing has been perhaps the most
moving and exciting experience
I have been part of.
“The way their studies and
in-depth explorations have
brought them together in other
ways, as a counteraction to the
family breakdown in America,
has been a beautiful and mean
ingful experience.”
Because Mark’s Torah portion
deaLs with the jury system and
the cities of refuge for criminals
in biblical days, Rabbi Lehr
man suggested Mark look into
the judicial system for young
people in Georgia, which led to
Mark’s volunteering to help the
ladies of the Service Guild at
Oak Hill, the Fulton County
home for orphans and under
privileged boys.
The rabbi’s thesis happened
to be on the relevance of the
Bar Mitzva and he willingly
shared this with the Kopkins,
from which they learned about
the history of the ritual and its
effect on Bar Mitzva boys and
their parents.
Summing up the experience,
Ted Kopkin says, “Mark and I
are both learning Hebrew; we
are learning more about our
heritage. More important, we
know now that our heritage is
a great one, a sacred one. It is
worth devoting a great deal
more time to. It can’t be learned
in a short Bar Mitzva program,
it is a continuing effort, a worth
while and fulfilling effort . . .
Maybe all Bar Mitzvas should
be father-son efforts.!”
JFCB Offers ..Mew Guide
To Career Planning
A resource for intelligent ca
reer planning, the “1972-73 Oc
cupational Outlook Handbook,”
is now available in the profes
sional library of the Jewish
Family and Children’s Bureau.
The handbook, which discusses
the nature of work in different
occupations, earnings, job pros
pects and education and train
ing requirements, coveTs more
than 800 occupations.
Leonard L. Cohen, director of
the JFCB, stresses the inval
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book for young persons, vet
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labor force and others choosing
careers.
In addition, the Bureau co
operates with the Jewish Chil
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vocational scholarship loan pro
gram, which provides limited fi
nancial aid on a loan basis, with
liberal repayment terms, to
qualified persons.
Persons interested in utilizing
the Handbook or in further in
formation on the loan program
can call the bureau, 873-2277.
r
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