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April 8, l$77
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Israel and the single girl
by Ruth Sehgman
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In the early yean of the State,
there was a widespread impres
sion that Israel had a sur
plus of males. Actually, in many
of the communal settlements,
this wss true. Men in one kib
butz even went so far ss to
advertise and publicize their
need for mates. Today, however,
the situation has changed.
Although recent statistics still
indicate a slightly larger number
of males in the 20 to 30 age
group, after 30, women have the
edge-numerically speaking that
is.
These statistics have not
deterred the ever-increasing
number of unattached females
(divorced, widowed or never
married) who continue to come
to Israel, seeking the mate they
did not find in their home coun
try. Their search is not doomed
to failure. Many do meet and
successfully marry, either
native Israelis or other new
comers like themselves. As one
Canadian girl said, “I had to
come all the way from Montreal
to meet my husband, a native
Torontonian.”
Not all find husbands and
some even leave the country, dis
couraged by the reality that it is
no easier to find a husband in
Israel than anywhere else. For
those who remain, however,
there are compensations which
far outweigh the fact that they
do not achieve their initial goal.
“I like living here,” said one
English secretary, “because you
feel that you’re part of
something bigger than yourself,
that your mere presence is im
portant. The country is dynamic;
there is always something hap
pening."
Her roommate, who works for
a travel agency, seconded her
remarks. She prefers cafes, such
as Cafe Exodus in the north of
V.
JAPANESE GARDENS
DESIGNED AND
Tel Aviv "which attracts a un
iversity crowd. After you have
been in the country for a while,
you find your favorites, discover
that certain cafes cater to cer
tain groups.”
Israel’s cultural patterns are
steeped in the Jewish tradition
which is orientedAo family liv
ing. Throughout Jewish history,
the Rabbis and the sages have
regarded marriage as a primary
religious duty. Even those who
do not regard themselves as
observant adhere to this ideal.
Similarly, the precept, "Be
fruitful and multiply” is ingrain
ed in the national consciousness.
As a result, young people in
Israel are pressured towards
enough,” she adds, "in the States
where there is stringent legisla
tion forbidding discrimination
on grounds of sex, color, etc.,
many landlords do manage to
get around these restrictions.
Not that I didn’t run into some
amusing encounters on this
score. The painter, for example,
did not want to give me a price
estimate. Til discuss this with
your husband’, he said, casually
dismissing my attempts at
negotiating. He seemed genuine
ly surprised to hear that I had no
spouse, that I lived alone and
liked it.”
After five years in Israel, this
graphic artist — and others like
her — is sensing a change in at-
“Even as a newcomer, you're pressured on every
side to get married. It is as if the country were
one huge ‘Yiddishe Mama'!”
early marriage. Those of Afro-
Asian origin — or Sephardim as
they are colloquially called —
strive to marry their girls off
young before they can be tainted
by the modern world which is
threatening to destroy their
value system: Ashkenazim do
the same, fearing that their
daughter’s chances for marrying
decrease with every passing
year. “Even as a newcomer,”
says a new immigrant from the
States, “you’re pressured on
every side to get married. It is as
if the country were one huge
‘Yiddishe Mama’!”
“Once you adjust to this
family-oriented atmosphere”,
says a graphic artist, now in her
early thirties, "you can ignore it
and enjoy Israel for what it is, a
country where you have a con
tribution to make, where there is
a definite sense that you, as a
Westerner, are bringing skills
and experience which the coun
try needs.” She had visited Israel
twice before settling permanent
ly. “Each visit I felt a closer tie.”
She has not sensed any dis
crimination on the part of
government authorities. "All
privileges and rights are given
on an equal basis, including
customs allowances, rental sub
sidies and mortgage money. In
the States when I went to rent
an apartment, I often had dif
ficulties. Not everyone wanted
to rent to me. Paradoxically
titudes. “More and more, single
girls are being accepted, perhaps
because there are more of us.”
She notes the existence of a
‘single society', “more perhaps
than most people know about.
There are home parties, run by
and for the unattached, and an
increasing number of lecture
programs and Bible study
groups where we meet people.”
"Don’t come to Israel just to
meet a husband,” advises a
librarian who had the exciting
privilege of setting up one of the
country’s best university-
affiliated law libraries. "Find
your satisfaction in doing your
job well and in fulfilling yourself
as a Zionist. You may also find a
husband" — as she did — “but
that should not be your main
motivation.”
NEW YORK, (JTA) - The
hopes of three Israeli youngsters
for world peace and for the day
when Arab and Israeli children
will play together are the subject
of three stamps just released in
Israel.
The set, entitled “Children’s
Drawings on Peace,” shows
Arab and Israeli children
holding hands against the
backdrop of flowers and doves.
The drawings for the stamps
were created by Dorit Assayahu,
13, Orit Assayahu, 11, and Tova
Weisler, 13.
For A Fund
Raising Idea
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