Newspaper Page Text
^SA^edding iQfldttnn
by Carolyn Gold
The giving and accepting of
the ring in the presence of wit
nesses is the most important part
of the wedding ceremony, accord
ing to Jewish law. The marriage
is legalized when the bridegroom
places the ring on the bride’s
finger and recites the ancient
formula: “Behold thou art con
secrated unto me with this ring,
according to the Law of Moses
and Israel.”
The rest is custom and cus
toms change over time and from
place to place. Sometimes they
change to meet the needs of
people in different eras; some
times they change to express the
concerns'of people in different
personal, group, or national
situations.
Wedding guests are noticing
both old and new customs being
observed in Atlanta’s Jewish
weddings these days. To obtain
information about these customs,
two sources are available in the
Ahavath Achim Sisterhood gift
shop. The books probably are
obtainable at other synagogues
and temples also. They are; “The
New Jewish Wedding” by Anita
Diamant, and “The Jewish Wed
ding Book” by Lilly S. Routten-
berg and Ruth R. Seldin.
There is a legal significance to
the ring, say Routtenberg and
Seldin. As an article of value, it
must belong to the bridegroom
and is not to be borrowed. Even
when the ceremony is conducted
in English, the bridegroom is
urged to pronounce the age-old
formula of the giving of the ring
in Hebrew.
Customs vary as to other parts
of the ceremony such as the
veiling of the bride, the proces
sional, the chuppa and the cir
cling of the bridegroom by the
bride. Some of the customs vary
according to whether the cere
mony is Orthodox, Conservative,
or Reform. Some vary as to
Ashkenazic or Sephardic tradi
tions.
The bridal veil is a symbol
that goes back to the Biblical
story that Rebekah covered her
face when she came to marry
Isaac. Orthodox and most Con
servative brides wear a veil for
the wedding ceremony.
A specific ceremony of veiling
the bride is performed before
Orthodox and some Conserv
ative weddings. It usually takes
place in the Rabbi’s study or in
the bride’s room of the syna
gogue. The bridegroom is called
to lower the veil over the bride’s
face.
The bridegroom’s act is said
to take place to avoid Jacob s
fate. Jacob married Leah instead
of Rachel, the woman he loved,
because he did not see his bride’s
face.
There are no rights and wrongs
about the wedding processional.
Apparently it is an American
practice for fathers to escort
their daughters and “give” them
Wedding customs
in marriage. The Jewish custom
is for both parents to lead their
children, both daughters and
sons, to marriage.
“The New Jewish Wedding”
says: “A traditional Jewish pro
cessional is simplicity itself: the
groom is brought to the canopy
by his parents, the bride is
brought by her parents and the
ceremony begins.” A variation
described here (and mentioned
in the other source as Orthodox)
is for the two fathers to escort
the bridegroom and the two
mothers to bring the bride.
“Either arrangement demon
strates that marriage is a union of
families, not just individuals, and
acknowledges parents’ dreams
and efforts for their children’s
happiness,” says Anita Diamant.
Many rabbis explicitly request
that the processional music be
selections other than the conven
tional “Here Comes The Bride”
and the processional from “A
Midsummer Night’s Dream.”
These pieces were written by
Wagner, a notorious anti-Semite,
and Mendelssohn, whose family
converted to Christianity.
The chuppa or bridal canopy
is variously considered a symbol
of the new home being created, a
covering (its literal meaning),
and a reminder of the tents of
Jewish nomadic ancestors. Con
servative, Orthodox and many
Reform (though it is not man
datory) ceremonies are conducted
under a chuppa.
In our historical past many
couples married under a tallit
which was frequently a gift from
the bride or her family to the
bridegroom. In Israel today the
tallit is used to spread over the
heads of the couple, and in this
country the custom has made a
comeback. Sephardic Jews make
use of both customs: couples
stand under a canopy and a tallit
covers their heads.
When a portable chuppa is
used, it is supported by four
poles held by four honored
guests. The four represent the
community,and thechuppa may
be carried in as a part of the
processional.
Circling of the groom by the
bride is a very old custom with
different variations. Some circle
three times and some circle seven
times, in commemoration of
different Biblical verses. Anita
Diamant says, “Circling is a
magical means of protection.” It
may be seen as a binding of the
bridegroom to the bride or the
creating of a new family circle.
Some Orthodox ceremonies
require circling. Liberal Jews
have abandoned the custom
because of its magical conno
tations and apparent subservience
of the bride around her “master.”
“The New Jewish Wedding”
explains that some people have
new interpretations and new
forms of this custom, describing
it as a powerful act of definition:
“She creates the space the couple
will share.”
Recent innovations are that
the bride circles the bridegroom
clockwise, the bridegroom re
peats by circling her counter
clockwise. Or they hold hands,
creating a circle, and walk around
together.
Fasting of the bride and bride
groom on the wedding day is
observed by Orthodox and some
Conservative congregations. It
is done by most Ashkenazic and
some Sephardic communities.
The function of the fast is to
impress upon the couple the
solemnity of the day, much like
the fast on Yom Kippur.
Not seeing one another before
the ceremony is considered mere
ly a superstition, though it is
argued that it does enhance the
emotional impact of later seeing
each other as bride and bride
groom.
Another exhilarating, though
precarious, experience comes
during the dancing at the recep
tion when the bride and bride
groom are lifted up on chairs as
the guests dance around them.
This custom is a reminder of the
privileges of royalty—when heads
of state were carried aloft. On
this day the bridegroom and
bride are considered the wedding
king and queen.
News & Views
The Southern Israelite
876-8248
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PAGE 3B THE SOUTHERN ISRAELITE February 14, 1986