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PAGE 6B THE SOUTHERN ISRAELITE February 14, 1986
V" THEB ^s /r
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invitations • stationery • announcements
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Here comes rhe groom
As the bride comes down the
aisle, and all eyes are focused
upon her, it may seem that the
entire wedding has been geared
to her role.
But Judaism has wisely re
served a very special ritual lor
the bridegroom, a moment in
which he alone is the center of
attention. I his is the aulruf,
when the bridegroom is called j
to the reading of the 1 orah and
recites the same blessings he
first recited when he became a
bar mitzva.
For Conservative and Ortho
dox Jews, the aulruf may take
place at any service at which the
Torah is read, which usually
means on the Sabbath or a
Monday or Thursday morning.
Most often, the aufruf is sche
duled for the Sabbath imme
diately before the wedding.
When the groom is called to
the Torah, he chants the cus
tomary blessings. If he is sut-
fiently learned, he may also be
honored with the Haftorah. In
some synagogues, the rabbi asks
the bride to join the groom on
the pulpit, and he recites a spe
cial prayer blessing their forth
coming marriage.
Growing in popularity is the
j very old custom of showering
the groom with raisins and nuts
i when he recites the blessings,
j undoubtedly as an omen of fer
tility. Make sure this is permis
sible in your synagogue or tem
ple by checking with the rabbi
j ahead of time.
It is customary for the aufruf
to be held in the synagogue with
which the groom and his family
are affiliated, but if this is im
practical, it may be held in the
synagogue of the bride s family.
It neither family has a synagogue
affiliation, the groom can make
the arrangements with any local
synagogue or seek the assist
ance of the rabbi who will offi
ciate at the wedding.
The groom or his parents
generally send a contribution to
the synagogue after the aufruf
has taken place.
The bride and her family, the
groom’s family, and a small
number of close relatives and
friends may be invited to the
aufruf.
It is customary, though by no
means obligatory, for the
groom's family to provide a
kiddush for the congregation
after the aufruf. T he kiddush
may consist simply of w ine and
cake, or it may be a seated lun
cheon. Customs concerning this
kiddush vary in different parts
of the country, but in general it
is a simple affair. A weekdav
morning synagogue service is
held early, usually before 9 a.m.,
and it lasts less than an hour It
is customary to provide the
worshippers with wine and cake
following the service.
An old and beautiful tradi
tion calls for the bride to pres
ent her groom with a tallit to be
worn at his aufruf and thereaf
ter. 1 he new tallit gives evi
dence of his new role as head of
a household. The bride of the
past would lovingly embroider
a velvet bag for the tallit. with
the groom’s Hebrew initials, a
w reath of flowers and perhaps a
quotation from the Bible.
A kiddush cup makes an appro
priate gift to the groom from
the bride’s parents or grandpar
ents, and the groom’s family
might wish to use the occasion
to present the bride with a beau
tiful pair of candlesticks. Both
the kiddush cup and the can
dlesticks might then be used at
the wedding ceremony, a most
meaningful way to initiate their
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