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that there is not a single significant
problem that cannot be solved in a
minimum of 23 minutes (plus
commercials) or a maximum of 54
minutes. The music we listen to
often conveys the very clear mes
sage that death is the only way out
of the difficulty of life.”
Returning to prevention. Rabbi
Symes challenged the audience:
“Does it shock you to know that
you and people your age probably
have the capacity to save more
lives than all the psychiatrists, par
ents and social workers in this
city?”
Then he addressed the crux of
the matter. “Most people don’t
want to die. They just want help.
They are crying out for someone to
get them help.”
The importance of recognizing
the signals is paramont, he says.
That includes recognizing that if a
friend talks about suicide and
swears his or her confidant to
secrecy, the real hope is that the
wall of silence will be broken and
the friend will tell someone who
can help.
Rabbi Syme cited a book by Sol
Gordon, Ph. D., called “When Liv
ing Hurts;” a book with heavy
meaning, written with a light
touch, that deals with the frustra
tions and stresses of life that can
evoke suicidal thoughts. Published
by UAHC's Yad Tikvah Founda
tion of the Task Force on Youth
Suicide, the book offers alterna
tives and insights to youth and to
parents.
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Suicides
Again and again, he urged the
students not to laugh it off if a
friend talks about suicide. “Lis
ten,” he said. “Listen, and then
please tell someone. Call your
friend’s parents. Call the helpline.
Make someone understand the
seriousness of what you are shar
ing. The worst that will happen is
that your friend will be angry for
breaking a confidence; but only
temporarily. Those who under
stand what true friendship entails
will thank you and treasure
your friendship even more.”
Mrs. Bolton agrees but cautions
that some people mask the signs,
covering up their depression. “If
we say all suicides can be pre
vented, we may put an undeserved
guilt trip on someone.” But, she
added, “We have to become detec
tives. We have to read between the
lines.” Some things to watch for,
she said, are withdrawal, giving
things away, skipping school,
reading books about hopelessness.
“It is wonderful to be full of your
own joy and excitement.” said
Mrs. Bolton, “but take the time to
see others.”
Both speakers believe that sui
cide is not caused by one event but
by the buildup of a number of
things that cause hopelessness.
Mrs. Bolton referred to the three
H’s—hapless, helpless and hope
less and said, “They don’t know
that feelings of wanting to die are
normal and natural. Most of us
have thought of it.” For some, to
think is to act, if no one seems to
care
The evening’s main message was
“caring,” extending a Yad Tikvah,
hand of hope.
photography _—
HAROLD ALAN
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PAGE 13 THE SOUTHERN ISRAELITE March 14, 1986