Newspaper Page Text
THE SOUTHERN ISRAELITE December 5, 1986 Page 11
Jewish leaders target disaffected singles
I he Jewish communitv, in
creasingly aware of the needs of
unmarried Jews, is struggling to
find ways both to meet those
needs and to draw Jewish singles
into Jewish communal and reli
gious life.
This conclusion emerged from
an all-day conference on “Jewish
and Single: Communal and Per
sonal Perspectives” sponsored by
the American Jewish Commit
tee’s William Petschek National
Jewish Family Center. Speakers
and participants included single
men and women who gave per
sonal views of the issues at hand;
researchers who have studied the
“singles” phenomenon; organiz
ers of a variety of “singles”
groups and functions—some
sponsored by commercial and
private enterprises, some spon
sored by synagogues, Jew'ish fed
erations, and other Jewish com
munal bodies- and social-service
workers and other Jewish-organi/a-
tion professionals concerned
about the future of the commun
ity as well as the problems and
aims of singles.
Rita Greenland, chairwoman
of the advisory board of the Pet
schek Center, chaired the confer
ence.
The aim of the conference,
said Ste\en Bayme, assistant
director of AJC’s Jewish Com
munal Affairs Department, was
“to promote dialogue between
singles and Jew ish communal ser
vice providers, with a particular
locus on establishing programs
involving singles in organized
Jewish life.”
Basic to the difficulties faced
by the community and by the
singles, the participants agreed,
is the tension between long-held
premises and facts ol Jewish life
and some ot the newer facts and
premises of single life.
“Judaism has always been a
home-centered, family-centered
religion,” Bayme pointed out,
“and beyond that, Jewish mar
riages and Jewish children are
essential to a Jewish future.”
Moreover, as several partici
pants noted, the organized Jew
ish community has until recently
planned most of its programming
with families in mind, simply
because families were the norm,
both statistically and in terms of
Jewish values.
But in recent vears the number
of single people -never-married,
divorced, and widowed—has in
creased; singlehood is no longer
considered an aberrant state,
and, for demographic and other
reasons, many currently single
people will remain so.
“All these facts have many
meanings for the Jewish com
munity.” said Gladys Rosen, pro
gram associate in AJC’s Jewish
C ommunal Aflairs Department
and organizer of the conference.
“On the one hand, we certainly
want as many Jewish single peo
ple as possible to marry and have
families, both for their own
happiness and for the future of
the Jewish community. Similarlv,
we know unmarried Jews are less
likely to be community-affiliated
than married ones, and we want
them to be part of the commun
ity, both for their own enrich
ment and for the community's
strength.”
On the other hand, continued
Rosen, “we also have to be con
cerned with the present well-being
of singles and we have to be sen
sitive to them, not as ‘future mar
ried people.' but in terms of w ho
they are today.”
One of the key points brought
out during the conference was
the great variety among single
people. Said keynote speaker
Peter J. Stein, professor of soci
t ...we certainly want as many Jewish single
people as possible to marry and have fami
lies...we also have to be concerned with the
present well-being of singles and we have to
be sensitive to them.}
—Gladys Rosen
ology at William Paterson Col
lege;
“Until quite recently it was
assumed that all single persons
wanted to marry, they were all
waiting for the ‘right’ person to
come along, they were relatively
unhappy, and they were all very
much alike. But recent research
indicates that in fact there is
great diversity among single
adults.”
Because of this diversity, the
conferees agreed, it is essential
that organizations planning pro
grams for single people target the
programs to the specific needs of
specific groups, and not just to
“singles.”
Anot her consequence of diver
sity. it was noted, is that the
small, individual organization—
most particularly, the individual
synagogue often lacks the re
sources to program for the wide
variety of single people who
might be its constituents. To solve
this problem, the conference
strongly recommended that syn
agogues. Ys. community centers,
and federations within a general
geographic region try to pool
resources and work with each
other in planning their groups
and programs.
And, suggested Stein, to meet
still another need -the financial
one synagogues should consider
offering lower membership rates
to single parents, w ho. he pointed
out. are usually female and often
short of funds.
Also discussed by the group
was whether the Jewish commu
nity should set up programs spe
cifically for single people rather
than trying to integrate singles
into general programs, and whether
the aim of the Jewish-communitv
programs should be to help Jew
ish singles get married, or to help
them enjoy single life.
Most of those who spoke on
the first question agreed with the
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audience member w ho said: “Ide
ally, we would like them to be
part of the overall community,
and that’s what we hope ulti
mately to see. But because many
singles think of the Jewish com
munity as being couple-oriented,
we are better able to begin draw
ing them to us by reaching out to
them with programs specifically
for single people.”
As to the question of whether
Jewish communal efforts should
be geared primarily to match
making, some participants ac
knowledged that their main aim
was to bring together young men
and women who. it was hoped,
would marry and raise Jewish
families.
Most, however, agreed with
the participant w ho said: “Yes. it
w ould he nice if many marriages
resulted from our programs, and
we certainly hope for that. But
lor various reasons. man\ ol these
people will not marry, and many
ol those who do marry will not
have children often because they
have already had their families.
And we are just as concerned
about those people as about those
w ho will form future Jewish fam
ilies. We care about them as indi
viduals and we want their partic
ipation in the community.”
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