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Guide To A Better You
Emotional Energy
by Sonya D. Walton
Have you ever experienced
crankiness, anxiety, insomnia,
inability to unwind, or loss of
interest in activities you usually
enjoy? Perhaps you were suffer
ing from low emotional energy.
We all have different levels of
emotional energy at various
times in our lives. Some people
enjoy the "high” produced by
going from one highly charged
situation to another. Others
deny themselves life's little
splurges because they fear ex
periencing low emotional
energy. All of us have different
emotional styles. The most com
mon styles are: Extravagant,
Gambler, Overcautious,
Hoarder, and Moderate. Loretta
Walder, Ph.D. developed a test
for Self magazine to help you
determine your emotional style.
Take the following test and find
out not only what your
emotional style is, but what it
means.
What’s Your Emoto
What’s Your Emotional Style?
A Test
1. Situations where the poten
tial seems great (a wonderful
new man, an exciting job) but
the risk is high (he's in the middle
of a divorce, it’s a new company)
are ones that you
a. avoid
b. are constantly drawn to
c. take a chance on once in a
while
d. usually shy away from.
2. Which adjective best
describes your emotional life?
by Tonya M. Lewter
If you wake up in the morning
dreading the day... if you have to
force yourself to do anything ... if
you believe your work worthless
... if you wilt under criticism ... if
you avoid intimate contact
because you're convinced
you’re unattractive ... if you
consider yourself a born loser...
you will probably benefit from
the scientific and revolutionary
way of brightening your mood
and lifting your spirits without
drugs or lengthy therapy. The
only tool you need is your own
common sense. With this, one
can stop seeing things in ways
that bring them down. You can
say good-bye to procrastination,
to sapping away of energy and
ambition, to so many other forms
of nagging depression, as you at
last experience the joy of
“THINKING POSITIVE.”
The question is then asked
how can one develop a sense of
self - esteem? — One doesn't
have to do anything especially
worthy to create or deserve self -
esteem; all you have to do is turn
off that critical, haranguing,
inner voice. Why? Because that
critical inner voice is wrong!
Your internal self - abuse springs
a. controlled
b. uneventful
c. exhausting
d. roller-coaster
2. Which adjective best
describes y1k
3. When it comes to making
significant emotional com
mitments (to work or
relationships), you
a. usually need a long time to
prepare yourself
b. prefer to remain detached
. c. simply weigh the risks and
benefits
d. often get involved too
deeply, too soon.
4. The frustrations of everyday
life (the traffic tie-up, the zipper
that gets stuck, the soaking rain)
a. leave you with a lot of stress
buildup
b. unruffle you temporarily,
but not for long
c. don’t have much effect at all
d. drive you out of your way in
an attempt to avoid them
5. If your feelings had recently
been strained (by a job or a love
affair), you would
a. take time out to recuperate
b. be more wary about getting
involved the next time
c. vow not to get emotionally
involved with anyone or
anything
d. press on to meet all your
commitments
6. Which statement best
describes you?
a. You frequently squander
emotional energy on unrewar
ding situations.
from illogical, distorted thinking.
Your sense of worthlessness is
not based on truth, it is just the
abcess which lies at the core of
depressive illness. David D.
Burns, M.D. cites three crucial
steps for people when they feel
upset.
1. Zero in on those automatic
negative thoughts and write
them down. Don’t let them buzz
around in your head; share them
on paper.
2. Read over the list of ten
cognitive distortions. Learn
precisely how you are twisting
things and blowing them out of
proportion.
3. Substitute a more objective
thought that puts the lie to the
one which made you look down
on yourself. As you do this, you'll
begin to feel better. You’ll begin
to feel better. You’ll be boosting
yourself- esteem, and your sense
of worthlessness and of course
your depression will disappear.
Judy Fireman’s test on self
esteem will help you measure
your self - worth — the first step
to increasing it. Circle one
response for each.
TEST YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
1. Dateless on a Friday night,
b. Your emotional in
volvements are usually satisfying.
c. You're often out on an
emotional limb.
d. You’ve missed out on many
opportunities because you’ve
hesitated too long.
7. In situations where feelings
are concerned, you generally
a. act first, think later
b. consider the options before
becoming involved
c. go with your gut reaction
d. try to remain uncommitted
8. You’ve been offered a new
position in your company that
would be more demanding. You
a. grab it, even though you feel
it’s risky
b. take so long deciding that
they offer it to someone else
c. think it over and take it if it
fits your career plans
d. automatically accept it, even
if you’re going through a rough
period personally
9. You sense you’re nearing
the bottom of your emotional
reserves. You
a. push full speed ahead,
hoping it will pay off
b. cut back somewhat until
you've had time to recharge
c. muddle through even
though you’ve bitten off more
than you can chew
d. pull out, even if it’s in
midstream.
SCORING
In the scoring key that follows,
O stands for overcautious; G for
gambler; H for hoarder; and M
for moderate. Figure out how
many of your answers fall into
you notice that one of your
favorite old movies is playing at
the neighborhood rerun house.
How often would you go to see it
alone?
a. Never
b. Once in a while
c. Often
2. You meet a wonderful man
at a party, spend the night with
him, and he promises to call
during the week. He doesn’t.
You react by:
a. Wondering what you did
wrong.
b. Feeling hurt, disappointed,
angry.
c. Inviting him over for a drink.
3. Your best friend doesn’t
invite you along on her Saturday
shopping tour. Your feelings are
hurt but you decide to:
a. Say nothing and act slightly
cool.
b. Wait to see if a pattern
emerges.
c. Shrug off the incident and
invite her to go shopping with
you next week.
4. Your teacher reprimands
you for something that wasn't
your fault. How do you handle
the situation?
(Continued on Page 7)
each catetory. More than three
in any category means you have
tendencies toward that
emotional style. Don’t be sur
prised if you are a mixed type —
most of us are.
1. a-H
4. A-E
7. a-E
1. b-G
4. B-M
7. b-M
1. c-M
4. c-H
7. c-G
1. d-O
4. d-O
7. d-H
2. a-O
5. a-M
8. a-G
2. b-H
5. b-O
8. b-O
2. c-E
5. c-H
8. c-M
2. D-G
5. d-E
8. d-E
3. a-O
6. A-E
9. a-G
3, B-H
6. B-M
9. -M
3. c-M
6. c-G
9. c-E
3. d-E
6. d-O
9. d-H
Now that you have a better
idea of what your emotional style
is, let’s take a closer look at each
individual type.
*Extravagant: If this is you,
your enthusiasm is enviable., but
you stand to suffer by burning
the candle at both ends. This
type tends to invest emotions
impulsively, without realizing
how much energy she has
available. Be on the alert for early
signs of emotional overload
(fatigue, irritability, etc.) and try
to resist taking on too many
commitments at once. The best
time to consider the conse-
by Tonya M. Lewter
Here at Spelman College the
majority of students are seeking
happiness in one form or the
other. The happiness critera that
a girl must be nice looking, dress
well, have money and a fine
boyfriend all are fallacies
because happiness is something
you get from inside yourself. So
what is happiness? Happiness is a
state of mind — being at peace,
feeling fulfilled, worthwhile and
being satisfied or contented. But
as an individual changes so does
his/her definition of happiness.
In college some of us perceive
happiness spending happy hour
with our friends on Fridays,
going to parties and getting good
grades. But when we get married
and start our own families hap
piness will come in a different
form. If an individual doesn't see
himself/ herself changing when
situations in their life change,
one can get all muddled up.
For some people happiness is
hard to obtain because they can
only perceive it in one way. For
instance, several young ladies
come to Spelman with high
expectations and when they
arrive and find unsatisfying
housing and registration’s long
lines they feel disillusioned and
disappointed. This is not to say
that Spelman is not a good
institution, but because the
school doesn't live up to their
expectations they prefer to
quences is before you become
involved.
*Gambler: This type is unable
to resist high risk involvement.
She tends to ignore red flags and
deny the down side of emotional
investments. Result: she often
gets burned. Playing an oc
casional wild card is fine, but
conducting your life on this basis
is at best dizzying, at worst
destructive. Next time you feel
the urge to go all out emotional
ly, hold back and reflect about
past experiences.
‘Overcautious: Unless it’s a
sure thing, this type doesn’t get
involved. Caution is wise, but
overcaution can paralyze.
Everyone makes mistakes — but
the biggest one is not allowing
yourself to make any. To stop
erring on the side of caution,
stop thinking so much. Once
you’ve made a reasonable
evaluation of the pluses and
minuses (and assuming the
pluses win) GO FOR IT! You can
always bail out if you find
yourself in over your head.
‘Hoarder: This type tends to
avoid any emotional com
mitments. This style often
developes unconsciously, out of
fear that they won’t be able to
meet the demands that come
with commitment. Storing
(Continued on Page 6)
leave, ignoring all the positive
points that Spelman offers.
When I first came to Spelman I
had housing in Packard Hall, but
greatly desired to live in Abby
Hall and could see no happy
future at Spelman living in this
old dorm. But once I realized
how nice the girls were in
Packard I gladly accepted my
housing situation and could
think of nowhere else to reside.
Johnathan Freedman, author
of Happy People, ranks elements
of happiness for single women
on a scale of one to ten. 1.
Friends and social life, 2) being in
love, 3) job, 4) success, 5) per
sonal growth, 6) sex life, 7)
health, 8) personal attrac
tiveness, 9) finances, and 10)
house or apartment. Of course
the order differs from one in
dividual to the other so this only
gives the most noted elements of
happiness.
Happiness begins with you
and me, we must both start by
first liking ourselves — being our
own best friend. The pleasure
principle maintains that hap
piness is something that happens
to an individual as a result of
some activity or action taken,
and it certainly works on a short
term basis. But true happiness is
not what an individual has in life,
but one's attitude about what
they have that makes one happy
or unhappy.
SO HAVE A HAPPY DAY!
How To Think Positive
What is Happiness?