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January-February, 1987 * SPELMAN SPOTLIGHT • Page 13
Point/ Counterpoint
This section is reserved for discussion of controversial topics
Black Women and White Men
Blacks in America comprise
thirteen percent of the total
population. Blacks are about
twenty-five million strong.
Blacks came to this land not by
choice. Blacks were brought
here in a most humiliating way;
in slave ships (by the
thousands), shackled and chain
ed. The physical constraint ap
paratus have now been shifted
to more of a mental constraint.
This mental constraint causes
Blacks not to live as long as
whites. It causes Blacks to ac
cept a system that supports the
break-up of the Black family. It
causes Blacks to become
homosexuals. This mental con
straint causes Black-on-Black
crime. It places Black men in
prison where they embody
forty-three percent of the in
carcerated. This mental
constraint brings on an in
teresting phenomena. In this
American society, a white
female has a one in 660 chance
of not living her total life expec
tancy. A white male has a one
in 247 chance. Black women
have a one in 124 chance. And
Black men, as sad as it may
seem, only have a mere one in
twenty-nine chance of not living
their total life expectancy. With
these statistics and the one that
states there are 690,000 more
Black women than black men
between the ages of 18 and 45,
there is reason why some Black
women have escaped the sordid
history of their past with white
men and have chosen the
“divine power of Massa’ ” as
their mate.
Massa’ — he brought us here
on the slave ships. He was the
slave driver. Blacks’ foremothers
were his field niggers, mammies
and sexual victims. He held the
fate of Black men and children.
Black women’s breasts nourish
ed Massa’s children so that their
white women’s breasts remain
ed full and untouched. In to
day’s society, with all the forces
of mental constraint placed on
Blacks, some Black women
have chosen “the man” to be
their boyfriend, lover and/or
partner in life. Black women
By Mike F. Weaver
claim that white men are not as
uptight and insecure as Black
men. Black women also claim
that white men are nicer and
show more courtesy. It is a
curious truth that the men of any
race sometimes view the women
of other races with greater ap
preciation than they do their
own women (Black Woman and
White Men, Essence, October,
1983).
It’s not the fact that Black
women are looking for white
men. Oftentimes, the white men
seek the black women.
However, the reason of stabili
ty and security is what keeps
Black women close to the white
men with whom they choose to
date. Black women find many
degrees of instability amongst
Black men. These degrees of in
stability that Black women find
in Black men are contributing
factors in the downfall of their
relationships. Some Black
women have decided not to
continue playing the “game”
that many Black men play and
have chosen men of other races.
Mister — he is the head of
corporate structures and at the
top of multi-million dollar
skyscrapers. He calls the shots.
He promotes and demotes
Black women. He still holds the
fate of Black men and children.
He is the integral part of the
same system that supports the
break-up of the black family. He
is expected to grow up and own
or run something. This sense of
economic security makes him
more emotionally and
economically stable.
These Black women who
have chosen white men either
neglect the fact or don’t realize
that by choosing these white
men, they are contributing to the
majority’s daily alienation of
Black manliness. With their
choice, they become another in
tricate part of the system to
disenfranchise the Black race (if,
given any race, you destroy the
patriarch of a species, you an
nihilate the whole species).
Along that thought, these black
women can’t give a damn about
their Blackness and are joining
forces with the oppressors to
create a genocide of the Black
(African) race in America.
A rose by any other name is
still a rose. Love by any other
name is still love regardless of
shape, size and color. Nefertiti’s
kingdom has long fallen, but her
beauty was inherited by all Black
women. The past was
yestercentury, yesteryear,
yesterday and yesterminute.
These are the “liberal” (yet, con
servative) eighties. Most Black
women are very cognizant of
their past, but yet find their mate
in “massa’ ”, “mister” and “the
man” (by any other name is still
the white man). Whether it’s the
reason of stability in a relation
ship or economic security, Black
women need someone to love.
Hopefully, this beautiful species,
Black women, will find Black
men. And together, they will
find the four aspects of the
Afrocentric relationship:
sacrifice, inspiration, vision, and
victory (Lawrence E. Gary,
Black Men, Sage Publications,
1981).
A more educated response
By Stephanie D. Mclver
It is difficult at this time, given
the space provided, to counter
such an argument. The in
dividual from which the former
opinion is derived would in
evitably need hours of reeduca
tion concerning Black women
— so much reeducation that no
publication in the world could
print fast enough to catch my
lecture.
In his attempt to understand
Black womanhood, Mr. Weaver
neglected to consult his most
knowledgeable source — Black
woman herself. It is not enough
to regurgitate the manuscripts of
others as they themselves may
be uninformed. When dealing
with such a subject one must
persue the answers in
dependently, deciding cause
and effect through experience
and through the attempts of
women such as myself who are
trying to explain it as it is.
The pattern of behavior men
tioned above is virtually
unrecognizable not only to
myself, but to my sisters as well.
This is not to say that it does not
exist, but I’d be willing to bet my
Psychology texts if you can find
it anywhere around here. Black
women, for too long, have been
cognizant of our plight.
Remember, it is we who suf
fered the humiliation of the rape
of our bodies, and carried the
burden of our children when no
one else was around to care. Do
not mistake our efforts to “keep
on keepin’ on” for conformity
or, heaven forbid (!), infatua
tion. We as women have simp
ly learned, through yers of forc
ed experience, to get along —
because we had to. Black
women have justifiably come to
rely upon only themselves. We
are not abandoning Black men
for White men — we have simp
ly developed a way of survival
that does not necessitate total
dependency. If the black man
has come to feel expendable it
is because within many Black
households he is.
If we are seeking answers to
the question concerning the
failure of Black relationships we
cannot place blame. We can in
stead consider that we are first
and foremost human beings and
must function primarily as such.
We are secondly Men and
Women, and only then can we
subdivide ourselves into racial,
cultural, and religious
categories. As women we are
taking part in a revolution that
cannot be reversed, and Men, in
their thinking, must progress
with us if we are to succeed as
a people.
Take heart, dear Men, we do
not abandon you for others —
simly preoccupy ourselves tem
porarily, as you have done, to
attain our dreams and goals.