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blueprint on what to do and what
not to do. This draws our hearts
together as we are achieving our
goal of a happy, successful, and
passionate family. Also, I’m deeply
in love with Paige. She is more
than I could ever dream for as a
wife to be and as a wife.”
2) Upon getting engaged, how did
you know you were ready (i.e.
emotionally, mentally, financially,
etc.) to actually get married while
still pursuing an undergraduate
education?
a. Paige: “Honestly, we took it by
faith. Now I’m not advocating for
people to rush into marriage by
ANY MEANS; all I can tell is my
own story. We believed God wanted
us to get married on January 1st as
crazy as it may sound, so against
all logic and even our own fears, we
did it and its been one of the best
decisions I’ve ever made. Once we
decided we were going to pursue
with the wedding, we prepared as
much as possible for our marriage:
We went through a vigorous pre
marital counseling course, got
advice from experienced married
couples and our pastors, solidified
housing arrangements, made sure
our finances were in order, and
went through the paperwork and
red tape that marriage preparation
requires. And we prayed!”
b. Curtis: “Honestly, I knew I wasn’t
completely ready to get married.
The reason Paige and I got married
was because we both felt like Jesus
wanted us to get married at a
particular time and a particular
date. But though I felt that I wasn’t
ready, I was willing to do whatever,
go through whatever, or face
whatever comes my way because I
deeply love both Jesus and Paige.”
3) Have you each obtained new
responsibilities post-wedding day?
If so, what are they and how have
you grown individually, as well as a
married couple?
a. Paige: “We definitely have taken
on new responsibilities, he’s
now a husband and I’m now a
wife. Our greatest responsibility
to one another is simple and
evolving: loving each other. My
main responsibility is loving Curtis
and submitting to him, as well as
figuring out what each of those
things really consist of. Submitting
to him without pride or fear that
he’ll take advantage of me and
for him to love me completely
unconditionally. It’s hard, but the
beautiful thing is that marriage
completely stretches you and
grows you in every area, especially
if you’re open to growth and
change like we are. I’m learning
every day just like Curtis is learning
himself. We don’t have rigid
expectations for one another which
makes it easier.”
b. Curtis: “Yes, I have attained
new responsibilities. As the
husband, my responsibilities
are leading a household, ensuring
my family is financially stable,
loving my wife with everything
that is in me, nurturing my wife’s
relationship with Jesus Christ,
keeping the romance of our
relationship aflame, and attending
to all of my wife’s needs.
Personally, I have grown more as a
man in regards to my mannerisms,
speech, and demeanor. I have
grown spiritually with my
relationship with God. As a married
couple, we have gotten even more
intimate as we are discovering
more things about each other.”
4) As women, we’re generally raised
to aspire to become someone’s wife.
With that being said, a lot of women
get caught up on acquiring the ring
instead of the marriage. Are there any
comments that you have for Spelman
women who are trying to rush the
process for the wrong reasons?
a. Paige: “Yes! I can’t emphasize it
enough: marriage is nothing to
rush into! No matter if you have a
cynical view of marriage and don’t
believe in its authenticity, or have
romanticized it beyond reality, you
cannot rush into it. Marriage is
serious and it takes work. It takes
patience, selflessness, maturity,
humility, and the ability to forgive—
all of which aren’t manifested in us
overnight. God had to do a serious
work in me to prepare me for
marriage, and now that I’m married
I’m still learning and growing all
the time. I can’t encourage my
Spelman sisters enough: find
yourself—who you really are—and
not who the world tells you to
be. I hope my story encourages
each others, but if a woman feels
that nasty, creeping feeling of
inadequacy or comparison lurking
over her, she MUST remember
that we all have our own unique
journeys to walk that God paved
out for us. Don’t seek validation in
anything or anyone besides God.
He’s the only constant in life.”
The BluePrint
SpelmanPaper@gmail.com Feb/March 2014 ■