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SAVANNAH DAILY HERALD.
YOL. 1-NO. 57.
The Savannah Daily Herald
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SMALL BUSINESS.
There are few of us who are men now,
who were not boys once, and the man who
chooses to forget that he once a boy and
to act accordingly, has either a very Bhort
memory or a very bad heart. The remem
brance of a happy childhood never had too
great an influence on the actions of any man
who was worthy to lie called a man. We
never see a fellow surly nnd cross to chil
dren; sneering at the graceful sports of little
girls, or turning up his nose at the rougher
games of boys, that we don’t mentally thank
God that no such a man is the parent of a
certain little girl and a not quite so little boy
(God bless them both), of whom we have
intimate knowledge. Why, heaven savo
yon, a harsh look would sjirivel up that
baby-girl as the sun does an out-of-the-placo
violet; and a cross word would at once
froeze the heart of that boy-child, or rather,
that l>oy-man, within him, for each of them
has yet .to hear any word save such as ara
fraught with love, and to see any glance
that is not laden With kindness and affection.
Now, tho difference—coming to our work
yesterday, we encountered a group of lively
little school fellow’s who were playing marbles
ou tho sidewalk—to be sure they occupied the
9ntire walk, and pedestrians who did not
care to walk over the little chaps, ha<J to leave
the curb-stone and, for half a dozen steps to
walk in the street.
But what of that ? the street was dry, and
in it was quite as good walking as ou the
pavement, so we gavo way, passed by’, and
felt the better for it.
But. a short distance after us, strode a
gloomy’-appearing fellow, looking as cross as
though he had ouly made twenty thousand
dollars when he had expected to realize
twenty’ thousand dollars and thirty-one cents.
An exclamation from the group of young
sters caused us to stop nnd cast a backward
glance, when wo perceived that his most
tremendous Sulkiness had not only refused to
turn off the walk to let the bovs enjoy their
game, hut had deliberately kicked all their
marbles half-way across the street, had des
troyed the “ring” aed was now engaged in
scolding the boy’s up the street.'’
We pitied that man. for who would not
pity any* man with such a temper. We, how
ever, watched him for a few minutes longer
till lie came to a place where a little fellow
was in trouble about his kite—the string had
become entangled ih the lower boughs of a
tree—the man being tall enough, could, with
scarcely an effort, have released the string
and gladdened the boy, instead of which,
he, with an oath, broke the kite-line which
had tangled Itself about his feet, and then
again swore at this little fellow for “blocking
up the street.”
Now, if that wasn't small business,
we never have seen business done on a
smaller scale. We don’t uphold the boys
In monopolizing the sidewalk, to the
sxclusion of foot-passengers who have a
right to travel thereon, but we will say, and
we do say, that the individual who will de
liberately take trouble for the sake of break
ing up an innocent boys-game is about as
contemptible a person as ono would care to
meet. We won't say that old people ought
always give way to let young folks have their
fun ; that is a matter of opinion, but according
to our fancy, the hearty laugh of a crowd of
hoys at a pleasant word, or tho timid “thank
you," either spoken or only looked, from a
bevy of rope-sklpplug girls when we move
aside in order that their gams may not be
spoiled,*is worth all the trouble a hundred
times over. And may God grant that before we
grow so mean in spirit as to imitate the ex
ample of Mr. Surly aforesaid, there may be
found some use for us in another world, where,
whatever the dirfy work we may be called
upon to do, it shall at least be no disgrace to
our friends.
I ltE Herald.—We have received many
compliments on the improved appearance of
t Ue Herald, and also an increase of patronage
which has exceeded bur calculations. Our edi
tions yesterday were rapidly exhausted, but
ve shall ho able to supply all demands to
day. 4
Installation.-— This morning at 9 o’clock
the Irish Union Society will install their offi
cers eject at their Hall, corner of Bay and
Lincoln streets.'
Provost Court. —Yesterday no offenders
being presented to Judge Parsons tho busi
*ws of tho Court was confined to civil cases.
SAVANNAH, GA., FRIDAY, MARCH 17, 1865. ‘
Thu Weather and divers other Ncil
ances.—We had hoped that we had, for the
present, done with rainy weather. But there’s
no such good luck. Old Jupiter Flavius is by
no means suppressed—he is still extant. This
present we’ve had a visit from him—he
ca*te “in thunder, lightning, and in rain,”
like Macbeth’s witches. We beg to state that
we don’t refer to Mayor Mcßeth of Charles-,
ton, but to another disreputable character
who amused himself bv cutting the throat of
his mundane Lord’ and Master, Duncan, a
highly respectable old gentleman who was
in the King business in Scotland, a little vil
lage in the vicinity of Edinburg, on the other
side of the herring pond. The history of Mac
beth, also Duncan, also Baaquo, (who
would'nt stay dead, but after having had his
throat cut in a style much approved by Mr.
Mcß. kept coming back from the other
world, and persisted in visiting Mac when
he was at dinner, coming without an invita
tion, and conducting himself in a very un
pleasant manner,) is very nicely and com
pactly given in an account written by
Mr. William Shakespeare. Thongh we
never bad any personal acquaintance
with Mr. Shakespeare, we have reason
to believe that he was a highly respectable
person of some little talent, and wa give full
credence to his account of the Macbetho-
Duncani-Banquoic affairs. We have heard
William Shakespeare accused of romancing,
but wo don’t credit any such thing of
WHliam—we think Billy was above lying,
though it is said ho had a fancy for deer
stealing. Well, whose business was it, if he
was dainty about his venison, and thought
Sir Thomas Lucy kept better deer than he
did himself? Why, it waa ths most natural
thing in the world that he should select from
a neighbor’s flock a toothsome saddle, or a
tender haunch.
But we started to talk about the weather,
and anybody might think wo had slightly
“meandered” from tho subject. Well, Bill
Shako wroto about'all sorts of storms in liis
day, but with all his experience, we don’t
believe he ever saw it rain harder than it has
done here inSavannah at times during the past
month. There was one day in particular—
one special day, one wretchedly soaked
twenty-four hours, when it rained so hard as
to quench the sun—or at least it cooked him
off to such an extent that he couldn’t show
himself through tho clouds, and a man had
to take a double-convex lens to concentrate
sunshine enough to make himself cast a
shadow.
It rained as if it was raining on a bet. It
poured as if it was raining a race and was
within about half a length of the winning
post. It came down as if it had made a con
tract to drown all creation in a second del
uge, and was bound to beat off-hand the
little shower of Old Noah,and give him twen
ty-seven points in the game.
We don’t think it rained “cats and dogs,”
if it did, we didn't see ’em—but we did see
a big hop-toad and three large angleworms—
they were fat—they wero healthy, they were
well-fed—those angleworms evidently hadn’t
for the last month got their meals at certain
boarding-houses within our ken, tor, as we
think we said before, those squirmy gentle
men of tho w’orm persuasion were fat. Well,
as w T e were saying, those frog may have
rained down, ancl that worms may have fall
en from the clouds, but we don’t believe it,
for had it been so, they should certainly have
got well enough acquainted in cloud-land not
to have eaten each other up—which they
did—at least the toad eat the worms, all of
’em—we don t know much of tho etiquette
of Reptile and Insect-land, but we think we
arc justified in saying, that, if that hop-toad
had never been introduced to those Angle
worms he took an unwarrantable liberty
wheu he ate them up alive. We think
they should have protested—it might
have been too late after they had been swal
lowed an hour or 30, but stUl they had their
rights. As our old Professor used to say,
“Experiments fail, but tho principle is tho
same.”
Well, as we remarked before, wo never yet
saw it rain cats and dogs—neither did we
ever observe it rain “pitchforks, tines
down,” though we have heard of such
things, but we have seen it rain so hard, here,
in our own little town of Savannah, that an
umbrella was a wretched nuisance, and an
idia-rubber coat soon became merely a filter
■—when the drops were as big as six-pound
cannon shot, and a man had to dodge for his
life—when the rain could and would, and
dtd take tho earthen tiles right off the roofs—
and, day before yesterday we saw a drop,
only one drop, of water fall on a roof, where it
joined company with another drop, and the
two together formed a mass of water so huge
as to drown two colored boys and a pig on
whom they fell from the roof.
That’s a fact—we never do anything by
halves here in Savannah. Even when, we
sit down to write a weather paragraph wo
spin it out a rod or so long—as, witness, this
present. Forgive us readers, but if you had a
call, as we did, from our three-story Satan,
lor “copy in a hurry," and nothing to write
about but the weather, our word for it you
would’nt choke yourself off as long as you
could find a single word to say.
A Word to Parents. —There is nothing
like fun and jollity to keep children from be
ing sick. Many a childish illness is brought
on by pure imagination in the first place,
and doubtless many a lassitude or chillnesr.,
or other premonitory symptoms of fever has
been killed down by the eager engagement
of the child in school sports. Provide al
ways for the little ones of both sexes, ap
propriate gymnastic apparatus, and our
word for it the poles, and bars, and ropes
will save in apothecaries’ potions and doc
tors’ bilis their worth in a single year.
Few people estimate the immense advan
tage of keeping children occupied in sports,
of seeing that they have all of toys, and
other appliances that can possibly tend to
keep them ever gay and full of sport. Many
and many an incipient disease has been
siiffed in its birth by a burst of “ the jolliest
soft of fun ” which the boy has encountered
on the play-ground or the ice-field, or the
girl has found hi the meadow or in tho girls’
gymnasium.
Encourage your children to have fun—the
more fun the better, so long as it is modest
and decorous, and if it be not so, it iB the
fau.“-*,C the parents of the children, and not
of the little ones themselves. Children are
naturely as pure as the heaven itself from
which they came, and whatever taint of
earth affects their earlier intercourse, comes
from tho contaminating influence of older
persons.
But encourage them to play-do play hard
—play drives away disease even if it did not
win health, which we know it does. Let no
child know the letter A from a seven-pound
codfish till he is six years old, and he will be
the better for it. But there will always be a
lot of grandmothers who will insist that
“bub"or “sis” shall learn its lffttev3, and
who will try to make a prodigy out of the
unfortunato infant while it yet wants milk
for dinner. To avert the ill effects of all
this give tho child play, play—plenty of it—
they can’t have too much.
The Street Cojehtssioner’s Deeaeiaiest.
Capt. Stearns has, from the commencement
of his-dutieß as Street Commissioner, acted
upon the general principles of first providing
for the health of our people, and then for the
beauty of its public places; he ha3 now’ near
ly completed the removal of. ail unhealthy
deposits from within the city limits, and ac
complished something towards restoring its
parks, squares and streets to their original
condition, and he hopes soon to be able to
devote more attention to them. Many peoplo
have complained that the squares have
not yet been cleaned of the rubbish left from
the camps, previously located therein; but
when it is borne in mini that this does not
affect the public health, we think tiie Captain
had acted wisely in leaving them until more
important matters were attended to, be has
sought at all ti mes to avail himself of the ad
vice of onr worthy Mayor and leading citi
zens, and to employ men who have hereto
fore had experience in the work which he
has undertaken, he assures us that our beau
tiful city will soon be in a better sanitary
condition than ever before.
We subjoin a brief statement of the doings
of the Department sinee the 24th of February.
The Department was organized on the 24th
of January, and has accomplished to the
13th of March, the following vast amount of
work:
Number of singlo horse cart loads of
manure, etc., removed from the
city, - 1 - - - 11,672
Dead animals removed and buried 636
The average number of employees
since March Ist, - 158
Average number of days labor since
the Ist of March, - 121
There are employed in cleaning the streets
the following vehicles: One-horse wagons,
36; one-horse carts, 27; six mule teams, 8k
- ■» ■ ■
Sooth Broad Street.— The excellent con-
I dition in which this street is at the present
time, is especially creditable to Capt. Albert
Stearns, the Street Commissioner. Under
the central row of trees rich earth has been
; placed, and this summer a bed of beautiful
! grass and blooming shade trees will be a re
j lief to the pedestrian and tho care-worn la
! borer, who will be able to enjoy a siesta in
the shade.
Chief Medical Officer.— Surgeon A. P.
Dalrymple, who is, we believe, the only
Surgeon now in the Department who has
been in It since its formation, has been assign
ed to duty as Chief Medical Ofiler of this
District, and has reported for duty. His
long experience in this Department, the im
portant places ho has filled, and his skill
as a surgeon, well adapt him for this position,
and wo are very glad to know of his appoint
ment. *
Municipal Government at Hilton Heap.
We understand that measures are on foot at
Hilton Head for the organization of a mu
nicipal government to act in connection with
the military authorities. One meeting has
already been held, at which Brig.-Gen. M.
S. Littlefield, commanding the District.made
some remarks. Another meeting is to be
held. A local civil government has already
been established at Mltchelvilie.
A FATTY ON SKATES.
Mr. Fleshly, an obese beau of Gotham as
sumes to skate on Central Park Pond, to
oblige his cousin Kitty. A contributor to
the New York Leader relates how’ he dkMt:
I bought the “Skating Manual”first, for to
tell the truth I hadn't the sligliest idea what
kind of skates to get. I took it home, read it
carefully through, studied the
which were just as intelligible to me as Egyp
tian hyeroglyphics, and learned which variety
of skate is the best. “ The blade or runner,”
I read, “ should curve symmetrically, be
rounded at the toe and heel, so as to override
slight obstructions on the ice, whether in
forward or backward motion ; and not more
than two inches of the surface should at any
time rest upon the ice.’’ ,
Reading over this clause of the description
until I had firmly committed it to memory, I
sallied out, invested a cross-bearing greenback
in a pair of the latest ‘patents,’ and devoted
myself assiduously to studying the theory of
skating, and waiting for the ball to go up.
Li a few days I had completely mastered
the Manual. I understood every diagram in
it; and, what is more, I believe, I “could do
it,” for I am an earnest-theorist.
At last my time came. 1 looked at my
thermometer one morning, and found that
the mercury had been trying to get
within the bulb to keep from freezing, anti
soon after saw, to my delight, “.the ball,” on
which the eye of New York is fixed in the.
winter season like that of the mesmerist's
subject ou tbe button.
In exactly an hour and forty minutes after
I made this discovery, I stepped upon the
edge of the frozen Park Pond, with skates
in my hand, Manual in my pocket, and con
fidence in my heart.
“Put ’em on, air? only five cents,” said a
diminutive youth with a very dirty face and
a gimlet.
i must have cast one of my most wither
ing frowns at that boy,- for he slunk away
sheepishly. Tho fact is, 1 bad learned from
the Manual all that was needful regarding
the putting on of skates, and it seemed to
me that a proposition liko that of the boy
was as much as to say that he thought I
couldn't put them on.
I seated myself on a bench, and after
freezing my fingers for twenty-live minutes,
accomplished tiie work ol fastening the
skates to my boots, and was ready, in the
language of the Manual,* to “strike out
gracefully, and skim over the ice in the poet
ry of motion.”
In rising from a sitting to a standing posi
tion, I observed a singular phenomenon in
my feelings. In the exact proportion that
my body approached the perpendicular, my
confidence in theoretical skating diminished.
However, I determined to give the instruc
tions of the Manual a fair test, and accord
ingly prepared to “strike boldly out,” as the
directions suggested.
Mi/ striking out was not a success; that of
the icc was, decidedly. I made a vigorous
lunge with the right foot, as the Manual di
rected. I think it was entirely too vigorous,
a3 i gave it such a momentum that the left
was unable to keep up with it, and I sud
denly saw both in the air, and in the same
instant felt the bald spot on my head strike
the ice with the force of a battering-ram.
“What a fall was there, my countrymen,”
said a chap with a girl on his arm, as they
sailed pass me.
“Te he,” tittered the girl.
“I say, Bill, pork’s coming down,” said a
little villain to a companion.
“Here Bob.” said another ragged littie
rascal, “git a derrick to put this cove on his
pins.”
“Oh, my eye, isn’t he a big thing on Ice I”
suggested a third.
Notwithstanding that my head throbbed
with pain at a rate something like the strokes
of a forge hammer, I was conscious of being
the subject of ridicule and saw that the theo
retical part of skating was a humbug. But a
happy thought struck me, and I grabbed one
of my skates in my hand, gave it a vigorous
shake, pretended to readjust tho screws and
manipulate the fastenings with a very profes
sional air, just as I had 'seen others do under
the game circumstances, to give spectators
the impression that the fault is not in the
skater himself—oh, certainly not; but these
wretched skates!
Just at this moment a winsome young man
came up to where I was safely sitting, and
after a dexterous flourish, remarked :
“Excuse me, sir, but you have a very dan
gerous style of skate there. A cousin of
mine, who is a capital slater, bought a pair
of them, and the first time he tried them,
which was yesterday, he fell and dislocated
his collar-bone. You see they round up at
the heel, instead of stopping sharp like these,
holding up his own ; “and they give you no
chance to keep your feet from flying up.”
I had noticed this latter feature ; In fact, it
■truck me forcibly.
“You are correct,”l replied; “I bought
these skates without giving them my usual
critical examination, and was deceived in
them. But Low to better the case is the
trouble."
I’ll tell you what I'll do, *’ said the nice
young man, in a kind of self-sacrificing man
ner, “I have been skating all the morning—
my skates are excellent—if you would like
to trade and pay the difference, I wouldn t
mine letting you have mine, as a matter of
accommodation.”
“And what la the difference ?”
“Well, say three dollars, although thaj
won t pay me for the trouble.”
The bargain was concluded. The gener
ous young man took the three dollars and
my new skates and started off, while I went
to work to buckle on my new property.
“Do you know that cove as you traded
with ?” said a boy with a gimlet, >vho had
witnessed the transaction.
“No. Why?”
“Nothin,’ only he’s humbugged you sweet.
Them skates you've got now is three inches
too short for you, and ain't good for nothin’
nohow. Youre was tho best they make."
The boy was right, as I found by placing
one of his skates by the side of my loot—it
was just about onedhird too shotl.
lam not a protane mam but I just then
happened to think of a pface wlieie it would
afford me a great pleasure to have that nice
young man sent. What a fyol I had been !
Had thrown away a pair of good skates and
been grievously hoaxed besides.
But the thing was done, and, like a true
PRICE. 5 CENTS.
philosopher, I pocketed the affront and the
okl skates, and started homeward.
But I didn’t give it up. Not a bit of it. I
thought of what was at stake—my reputa
tion lor veracity; my digestion, and—and
Kitty’s favor.
So, wnen I got home, I applied a little
liniment to my head, a little hot punch to
my stomach, concluded that Skinuem could
not complain about my want ot exercise that
day, determined to learn to skate “or perish
in the attempt,” as the rebels say, and then
prepared to call on Kitty to say that the
ice would probably be sale in a few days.
But I must deter my further experience
till next week; and iu the meantime I offer
a pair of half-wflrn skates to anybody who
will put in my clutches that nice young ras
cal who swindled me out of* my new '“pa
tents.”
Being determined, like Mr. Brown, not to
“give it up so,” he makes another essay, and
gets his skates on, and here is related how
Mr. Fleshiy becomes convinced that he was
too fat to skate .
Cautiously I advanced one foot a little,
then the other, .keeping my arms stuck out
like a couple of pump-handles, and using
them as a rope-walker uses his balance polo.
My greatest difficulty was in keeping my
feet within a reasonable distance of each
other. The skates exhibited a kind of elec
tric repulsion, and each seemed inclined to
get as far away from the other as possible,
which eccentricity, I may observe, is not con
dueivc to keeping an erect position.
But as I gradually worked my way out
into the throng, anew trouble beset me. A
few hundred skaters, big and little, young
and old, male and female, novitiate and ex
pert-all turning, crowing, whirling—-with an
occasional skating-chair by way ol' variety,
is not calculated to give confidence to a man
who is taxing his ingenuity to the utmost to
keep his centre of gravity where it ought to
be. First a 3kater would come sailing along
directly toward me, whereat I endangered
my equiUbrium by an attempt to avoid a
collision; then the skirts of a lady would
brush against me, threatening to topple me
over; then an urchin would rushing past my
legs as it he had been shot from a mortar,
i was just beginning to pride myself on the
dexterity I displayed iu thus keeping my
feet under me, when suddenly I experienced
a singular sensation, and one which I havo
not the slightest curiosity ever to feel again-
I felt that something had violently collided
with my coat-tails, and that my body—the
entire 237 pounds avoirdupois—had received
a forward impetus, the liko of which I had
never experienced since my father sold the
old ram that we used to keep on the farm.—
For au instant I was in the air; the next. I
was sprawling upon the ice like a lobstef Ita
his element.
“ Why, Mr. Fleshly!”
Did I hear aright ? Had the thump from
that .villainous skating-chair unsettled ray
seuse.3, or was that really the voice of Kitty
Gleason ? Assuming tho favorite Turkish
posture, I looked up.
“Why, Mr. Fleshiy, I am so surprised to
see you. Are you hurt ?”
I hope to be guillotined if it wasn’t Xitty,
and actually hanging on the arm of that hor
rid Jones ! A. pretty dilemma for me to be
in ; a nice exhibition of awkwardness I bad
made. But my self-possession seldom leaves
me, it my feet do, and I determined to make
the best of it.
“Oh, no ; I- am not injured iu the least.
It’s very seldom the ice gets the better of me;
but I was not paying attention, and that
booby with the chair came against me with
force enough to knock down an elephant."
She smiled as if she thought the compari
son wuainot drawing it a bit too strong in
my case, and remarked :
“Do you see Mr. Jonls ? Isn’t he a lovely
skater ?” and she looked admiringly at that
worthy who was cutting cue of his figures a
few yards distant.
“Yes, I see Jones,” I remarked sharply;
and I felt very much like taking Jones by the
head and deliberately wringing his neck.
Just then Jones came up with one of his
favorite flourishes; Kitty took his arm, and
the next instant they were gliding away like
birds.
This was the end of all my fond expecta
tions. This was the style in which I had
checkmated Jones 1
I beckoned an urchin to take off my sfcfitesT
giving him to understand that if be wha more
than half a minute about it, I should etrfo
him. Takingtho skate* In my hand, I walk
ed from the Bark in no enviable frame of
mind.
Conjugal Disparity.— (Enter disconsolate
looking female without hoops.)
Foreman. —Madam, what complaint have
you to make.
Complainant—l come to enter complaint
against my companion.
/ora.—Your husband, I supposo. Wei!,
wbat is your name, and what has he dc-<. ?
Com.— His name is , and he struck me
and threw me out of doors, and
to kill me it I came into the house again.
Fore.— What provocation did you give unw
| him, madam, for such treatment ?
Com. — l don’t line to tell sir.
Fore.— But, madam, you must. The grand
jury must know all the circumstances.
than—Well, if I must, I must. He done
it justcause I would’nt sleep with him.
Fore. —Ah! that’s the nature of the case.
Very well, why did you refuse to sleep with
him?
Ckm.— 'Cause he was drunk, and I did’nt
want to.
Fore.— Well, bow is it when he’s sober?
Do you refuse to sleep with him then?
Corn.— No, sir; but when he’s sober he
won’t sleep with me. [A general roar fol
lowed, in which the foreman could’ut help but
join.]
Wendell Phillips was riding In a railroad
car, when he was addressed by a man of such
rotundity that he seemed to carry everything
before him. This man asked Mr. Phillips
what was the object of his life “To bene
fit the negro,” was the bland reply. “Well,
then, why don’t you go dpwn South to do
it?”'That is worth thinking of. I .tojdL
white cravat around your neck; pp«JW4
Is the object of your life?” “To
from hell." “May I ask
propose to go there/-' *
given as a joke
