The Southern watchman. (Athens, Ga.) 1854-1882, February 08, 1855, Image 1
VOLUME I. ATHENS, GEORGIA, THURSDAY MORNING. FEBRUARY 8, 18 1'UBLISHED VVEEKI.Y, BY JOHN H. CHRISTY, spit or and rnoriusTOS. Terms of Subscription. two DOLLARS per annum, if paid ftrlctly in a«l sttce; otherwise, THREE DOLLARS will be charged $3r In order that the price of the papei may not be in the wav i'fa large circulation, Liuba will be supplied at the following low rates. : :: |}g:^r •41 tktat low rale*, the Ciuk miut accompany tie order. _ Uates ot AilVi-fiLing. Transient advertisements will lie inserted at One Dollar per square for the first, and Fifty Cents per square for e ich subsequent Insertion. Ia-gal and yearly advertisements at tlic usual rates Candidates will be charged $.1 for annnuneemehw, anil obituary notices c.xeoening six lines in length will be charged aa advertisements. When the number of insertions is not marktulon and advpniseincnr, it will be published till forbid, and charged accordingly. Can't do without a Paper tV It tit, do without a paper ? uo, I’ve tried it to tny sorrow, So, to subscribe for one I’ll go, Nor wait until lo-morow. Should lovers drown or hang themselves, Or other loolish caper, I never get to lienr of it, I do not take the paper. Why, there’s my neighbor, Jothan Stout, Fie always hears the news. And having news to talk about lie never gets the bines. While others yawn in ennui, His mind is light ns vapor; The cause is plain to half an rye, He alwa s takes the paper. While neighbor Stout hears all the news, And knows each current price, And always minds his P's and QV t By taking good advice. I cannot tell the price of calves, Or poultry, coffee, tope, or And kind of merchandize. Because 1 take no paper. Though I have studiis which n quire Much time and mi ntal labor. Yet I can spare a little lime. As well us Stout, my neighbor. Though time be precious, I can use A longer midnight taper, And thus take ;;;ne to read the news— Therefore I'll take n paper. But now which one shall I select, So many greet my vision; One stubborn fact which I detect Shall influence my decision. The cheapest paper and the best. Should be the one for me, And —h en i bring it to tl. c test. The Wa'chman is the one I see! , The Sehottisch Partner, BV MOTTK IIALL. Oh. I danced with him the schottish! ’Twa* the first time that we met; He was such a dashing creature, With orbs as black as jet. And he wore a lovely diamond; How it flashed into my eyes! As he drew me closer to him I saw its wondrous size. Oh! at ball, nnd rout, and party, 1 was his sehottisch belle; He said I danced so charmingly, And knew the step so well. And we grew so very loving, As we stood upon the floor. That people said the scottisch step Would lead to Hymen’s door. But though I schottished every nigLt, The ungrateful wicked Harry! J heard my schotisch partner say— “ She’J] do, hat not to marry!* ‘“She’ll do to twirl in mazy dance, She’ll do for giddy pleasure; She 11 do to mete our Folly's gauds With fashion's line aud measure. “But she’ll Not do far sacred home, . A meek aud geutle woman, An angel in her puiity, Butin her love a human.” Ifriff Stents. “ VARIETY, THE HP ICE OF LIFE." An Irishman sai l that a true gentle man will never look at the faults of a woman without shotting his eyes. No men are so deep but that shallow places can be found in them. The Cincinnati Dispatch speaks of a negro so dark that a candle will go out feytv feet from his face. As an old lady was walking through the streets of Paris, at midnight, a pat rol called out, ‘Who’s there ?’ “It’s only I, patrol,’she replied,‘don’t be afraid.’ It has just been whispered in our ear that the juryman who stood out got wet —it having commenced raining about that time. We cannot vouch for this. Our neighbor says that his Shanghai rooster is so tall that he has to go down upon his knees to crow! ‘Do you think you are fit to die ? said a step mother to her neglected child. ‘I don’t know,’ said the little girl, taking hold of her dirty dress, and in specting it—‘I guess so, if 1 ain’t too dirty. 1 The ague rages so in some parts ol Iowa, that the people are obliged to sleep with corn cobs in their mouth, to keep from shaking their teeth out. A sentimental chap in Rhode Island intends to petition Congress for an ap propriation to improve the channels of affection, so that henceforth the “ course of true lore may run smooth.” Four boxes are said to govern the world. The cartridge box, the ballot box, the jury box and the band box.— Wonder if the snuff box possesses any governing influence. ‘ What is the meaning of a backbiter?’ said a reverend gentleman during an examination at a parochial school. This was a puzzle. It went down the class until it came to a simple litt'e -urchin, who said, * P’rhaps it be a flea.” A short man became attached to a very tall woman, and somebody said that he had fallen in love with her. ‘Do you call that falling in love V said an old bachelor, ‘it is more like climb ing up to it.’ A Rare Chance.—The St. Paul (Minnesota) Pioneer contains the fol lowing advertisement : “One hundred able bodied lawyers are wanted in Minnesota to break prairie land, split rails, and cord wood. Eas tern and southern papers please copy.” For Sore Throat.—Take a tea cup full of sweet oil, and half as much spirits of turpentine; unite them, and with the mixture rub the throat, and wear a flannel around it. There is a man in Tiffin with so out landish.a name that it takes two French men and a big Indian to pronounce it. It has never yet been spelled, but a ma chine is about to be imported from Hol land for that purpose. Advice.—Be sure to marry a woman (hat will help you, instead of being a burden. In mercantile phrase, get a piece of calico that will wash. A True Saying.—According to Lncon, men will wrangle for religion ; write for it; fight for it; die for it: any- but—live for it. thim A Rose and its Thorns.—When Milton was blind he married a shrew. The Duke of Buckingham called her a rose. ** I am no judge of colors,” re plied Milton, “ but it may be so, for I feel the thorns daily.” Be slow to choose a friend, and slow er to change him; courteous to all. Scorn no man for his poverty ; honor no man for his wealth. Poor Fellow! A western editor thus delivers himself: “We would say to the individual who stole our snirtoffthe pole,while we were lying in bed waiting for it to dry, that we sincerely hope the collar may cut his throat1” A clergyman was once sent for in the middle of the night by o r<c 0 f Bis con gregation. “ Well my good woman,” said he, “ so you are Very ill, and re quire the consolation of religion. What can I 3o for you ?” “ No,” replied the old lady, “ I am only nervous, and can’t sleep.” “ How can I help that ?” asked the parson. “ Oh, sir you always put me to sleep so nicely when I go tochurch, that I thought if you would only preach a little for me!” They say that the parson made tracks in less than no time. Oneok tiie Tenants.—“Jemmy, get some kindlings and make a fire. “An,’ bejabers, how am I to do it, Mr? Murphy used the last bannister yesterday, sure.” “ The bannisters gone ! Then, on to the roof; and see if you can pick off any of them shingles. The house aint mine any how.” “ Be the gray goose o’ Moses, an yon’re right!” Exit Jeramey. - In n week afterwards, Mr. Teddy O’Neil applies to the landlord for a re- I duction of riot, bekase, the floors lake sure. Queer people, those exotics. “Struck.”—The Students of the Davidson (N. C.) College have left that institution in a body, on account of the Professors unjustly expelling a fel low-student. The prospects of the Col lege are anything but flattering. It is proposed to light the streets of a city not a thousand miles from Syracuse with red-headed girls. If we lived there we'd play tipsy every night, and hug the lamp posts. “Twins, by the powers!” cried the horror struck Irishman,.^ the nurse ap proached, bearing a new pledge of af fection from his fruitful helpmate. “Twins, hinny 1” cried the nurse ; “faix Murdoch, an’ it’s the blessed whiskey that makes ye see double this morning!” Fiddlesticks—a word strongly ex pressive of contempt. It crushes all re ply. When a lady once says fiddlesticks, he is a bold man word. “Our Beckf.y Does!”—A ydung damsel who is engaged, and will shortly be united to a gallant son of Neptune, lately visited the Mariner’s church. During the sermon the parson discours ed eloquently and with much earnest ness of the dangers and temptations of the sailor. He concluded by asking the following questions : “Isphere any one v ho thinks anything of him who wears a tarpaulin hat and blue jacket, or a pair of trousers made of duck ? In short, is there one who cares aught for the poor sailor?” A little girl, a sister of the damsel, jumped up and looking archly at her sister, and, in a tone loud enough ft.r every one to hear, “ Yes, sir, our Becky does.” Power, like the diamond, dazzles the beholder, and also tho wearer; it digni fies meanness ; it magnifies littleness ; to what is contemptible it gives authori ty ; to what is low, exaltation. A patty had climbed a considerable way up the usual track on the side of Skiddaw, when a gentleman (a stranger to the company,)who had giveu frequent broad hints of his being a man of supe rior knowledge said to his guide. ‘Pray what is the highest part of the moun tain V ‘The top, sir,’ replied the guide. A western editor, in speaking of a concert singer, says her voice is deli cious—pure as the moonlight, and as tender as a three-shilling shirt! A Yankee editor out west says, “The march of civilization is onward, onward, like the slow but intrepid tread of a jackass towards a peck of oats?” The washerwoman who attempted to hang her clothes on Mason & Dixon’s line, has been prosecuted for a violation’ of the last compromise. A man commiserated with on account of his wife running away, said, ‘Don’t piry me till she comes back again.’ The man who checked his rage, cov ered it with gingham. There is an odious spirit in many persons, who are better pleased to detect a fault than to commend ^ virtue. The judicial blindness of pride is seen in this, that those are the proudest who have nothing to be prciud of. Such pride is the manifestation of essential self-love—of that love of self which ex ists where self is most vile apd unlovely. Neatness, and its reveise, among the poor, are almost a certain test of their moral character. VIOLETTA AND ALLENDORF. A ONE HORSE NOVEL. Violetta started convulsively, and turned her tear-drenched eyes wildly upon the speaker, for to her there seem ed something strangely familiar in those low rich -tones. Their eyes met; his From Life Illustrvted. ' HINTS FOR HUSBANDS. There is ft article afloat in the pa pers entitled “Golden Rules for Wives’ . - .... , . -, , which enjoins upon the ladies a rather beam **JS«'. th joy and tenderness; her abject submission to their. husbands’, ^“-^earning with uncertainty, will and whims. Iron rules, not golden ones, we should call them. But the' “ Violetta!” “ AHendorf!” 1- ■ „ _ • , • i And the beautiful girl sank, from ex- very difficult art; and, instead of confut- J^ 8 "P on h snob, o heart throb- ing th. positions of the_ author of the 5^*^ A&rf’ bent tender?/ Rules a!oresa.d,we offer the following, as over her , and bathed her pure, white the substance of what a wife likes in a tem le3 with the 2Ushi of de Never give a boy a shilling to hold your shadow while you climb a tree and look into the middle of next week—it is money thrown away. Give a man brains and riches, and he is a king Give a man brains without riches, and he is a slave. Give a man riches without brains, and he is a fool. A man called upon an unfortunate tradesman to pay a demand. *T can never pay it,’ said lie. “I am not worth a farthing, but I will give you my note. I am not so poor but that I can sign a note.” ‘T am a great friend to decency, for decency is n manly virtue ; and to deli cacy, for delicacy is a feminine virtue; but as for squeamishness, rat me! if it don’t make me sick.” ‘•Squeamishness and indelicacy are often found united ; in short, in manners, as in ot.her things, extremes meet.” Our principles are the springs of our actions—and our actions are the spring of our happiness or misery. —So your mother is very poor ? She is that. She used to keep a pea-nut stand once, but she took a counterfeit one dollar bill and failed.. who utters another The man who run up a column of figures, tumbled down and was hurt very badly. Every man is occasionally what he should be perpetually. The Chinese are a queer people to go to market. A friend at Canton, writes “Kemlich Van Tassell,” that a neigh bor ofhis had just laid in his winter’s provisions—a hind quarter of horse and two barrels of bull-dogs. The latter salted to keep. If the owner of a wherry should hap pen to ruu his boat aground, could he be called a landed preprietor ? A secret is like silence—you cannot talk about it and keep it. It is like money—when once you know there is any concealed, it is half discovered. The wags will never let Bamum alone. The las? story in regard to him is, that he had picked up in his travels a small pot of tar .supposed to have been left where the Israelites pitched their tents. Why is a minister like .a locomotive r We have to look for him \v2»u® the bell rings. •_• Tq make hens lay perpetually. Hit them on the head with a big club. Other modes have been recommended, but t.Lis is the only one we have found,effectual- The centre of gravity is the middle of a Quaker meeting. Singular.—The body a of woman buried twenty-four years ago was re cently disinterred in Dayton, Ohio, and found to be petrified, with all the parts retaining nearly the same perfectness of exterior as when life and animation was in them. Mrs. Gaines has recommenced suit to establish herself as legatee under the will of Daniel Clark, her father, in the Probate Court of New Orleans. ‘ Hal, where was your minister’s text yesterday afternoon ?’ * Oh, I don’t recollect the place, but the words were, * sleep on now and take your rest.’ * What did lie make out of that Ilal ?’ ‘ Don’t know, faith—but he was con tinually telling us that the truth is al ways practical!; so thinks I to myself I’ll take you at your word once, and may I be shot if I waked up till the Amen “ “ Sally Mander safe,’ said Mrs. Part ington, as her eyes fell upon the adver tisement. ‘ Do tell me, Isaac, who thi Sally Mander is, and what she’s been doing, that they’ve got her safe again ‘ I don’t know what she’s been doin,’ but I guess she’s a sister to Jerry.’ ‘Jerry who, Isaac?’ ‘ Why, Jerry Mander,’ said Ike, as lit? sat watching a fly dragging itself alorig with a pin very ingeniously run through its body. As a proof of the hardness of the times, there is a man in Ohio who kills only half a pig at a time. Something New.—The gentlemen of Waltham, iMass., are said to be enjoy ing the luxuries a fema'e barber. She is yonng, pretty, smart ?ud of course has a keen way of doing business. Different sounds travel with different velocity. A cull to dinner will run all over a ten acre lot in a moment and a half, while a summons to return to work takes five to eight minutes. Drunk.—Any gentleman who mis takes his hat for the spittoon. Under taking to write with a cork screw, is also a slight indication of vinous halluci- nujtfbn. “Sal,” said one girl to another, I’m so glad »’ve no beau, now.” “ Why so!” asljed the other.” “Oh,’ cause, I can eat as many onions as I please.’ Look not mournfully into the past, it cannot return; wisely impiove the pres ent, it is thine; go forih to meet the thadowy future without four, and with manly heart If parents would render their children happy and wealthy, they should early inculcate in them a desire for and a knowledge of labor, both manual and mental. A Case of Modesty.—A newspa per publ.sher going on a collecting ex pedition, and leaving bis accounts at home for fear of giving offence to his patrons. Appropriate Costume.—“Never pull out a gray hain” said a gentleman so his daughter, “as ftvo generally come to the funeral”-—“I don’t care how many come to the funeral if they only come dressed in black.” ( To remove dirt from daudy out ofhis shirt. linen—Jerk a ‘I hate to hear.people talk behind one’s back,’ as the robber said, when the con stable called ‘stop thief T ‘I expect,’ said a young-physician, on his way to New York, on hearing exag gerated rumora of the cholera, ‘t6 wit ness a great many death-bed scenes this summer.’ ‘Doubtless,’ replied a friend, ‘if you get much practice.’ /j? An Indian had gone to Albany one cold winter’s day, and got very drunk. On his way home, he became complete ly overcome, lay down and was frozen to death. His tribe was at that time much disposed to imitate the habits of white men, and accordingly, held an in- finally agreed to the 5 deceased came to his l water in his i in him and Some ofour exchanges mention the fact of a “ Know-Nothing” having been turned out of the society of which he was a member, for drinking an Irish whiskey punch with a German silver spoon in it. Before the days of the teetotallers, a neighbor of Disbee saw that gentleman at an early hour of the day crawling slow ly homeward on his hands and knees over the frozen ground. Why don’t you get up Mr.Disbce ? Why don’t you get up and walk ?” said his neighbor, ”1 w-w- w-would, b-b-but it‘s so almighty thin here, that I’m a-a-afraid I shall break through !” ’ husband. Fidelity is her heart’s first and most just demand. The act of infidelity a true wife can hot forgive—it rudely breaks the tie that bound her heart to his, and that tie can never more exist. The first place in her husband’s affec tions no true wife can learn to do with out. When she loses that, she has lost her husband ; she is a widow ; and has to endure the pangs of bereavement in tensified by the presence ol what she no longer possesses. There is a living mummy in the house, reminding her of her loss in the most painful manner. A woman likes her husband to excel in those qualities which distinguish the masculine from the feminine being, such as strength, courage, fortitude, and judgement. She wants her husband to be wholly .a Man. She can not entirely love one whom she can not entirely re spect, believe in, and rely on. A wife dearly likes to have her hus band stand high in the regard of the community in which they reside. She likes to be thought by her own sex a fortunate woman in haring such a hus band as she has. She has a taste for the respectable, desires to have a good look ing front door, and to keep up a good ppearance generally. Some wives, it is said, carry this too far; and some husbands, we know, are dangerously complaisant in yielding to the front door ambition of their wives. But a good husband will like to gratify his wife in this respect, as far as he can, without sacrificing more important objects Perfect sincer ty a wife expects, or at least has a right to expect, from her husband. She desires to know the real state of the case, however it may be concealed from the world. It wrings her heart and wounds her pride to dis cover that her husband has not wholly confided in her. A man may profitably consult his wife on almost any project; it is due to her that he should do so, and she is glad to be consulted. Above most other things, a wife craves from her husband appreciation. The great majority of wives lead lives of severe and anxious toil. With unim aginable anguish and peril to their own lives they become mothers. Their children require incessant care. “ On ly the eye of God watches like a rnoth- says Fanny Fern in that chapter of “Ruth Hall” which depicts with such power and truth a mother’s agoniz ing anxieties. And besides her ma ternal cares, a wife is the queen regent of a household kingdom. She has to think, and plan, and work for every body. If, in all her labors, and cares, she feels that she has her husband’s sympathy and gratitude, if he helps her where a man can help a woman, if he notices her efforts, applauds her skill, and allows for her deficiencies—all is well.- But to endure all this, and yet meet with no appreciating word or glance or act from him for whom and whose she toils and bears, is very bit ter. A wife likes her husband to show her al! due respect in the presence of others; she can not endure to be reproved or criticised by him when others can hear it. Indeed, it is most wrong in a hus band thus to put his wife to shame; and we can not help secretly admiring the spirit c f that French woman who, when her husband had so wronged her, re fused ever again to utter a word, and for twenty years lived in the house s dumb woman. We admire her spirit though not her mode of manifesting it, Husbands owe the most profound re spect to their wives, for their wives are the mothers of their children. No man has the slighest claim to the character of a gentleman who is not more scrupu lously polite to his wife than to any other wo ,7ian. We refor here to the essen tials or politeness, not its forms; we ki*ndi» ess and justice in little ; though subdued joy. ' While doing this, Violetta’s father, Rip Van Short, was seen approaching the lovers with a flail. AHendorf saw the aged patriarch, and with one migh ty leap cleared the banisters and rushed down stairs. But Van Short was not to be thus done. He put after the flying AHendorf, and just as he was turning t e corner of the red barn, gave him a lift with the flail that placed him on the other side of Jordan. Violetta, driven to distraction, threw herself upon the grass, and for a long hour, was deaf to every consolation. (To be continued.)— N. Y. Dutchman. Every Moment Sunday.—By dif ferent nations every day in the week is set apart for public worship—Sunday by the Christians, Monday by the Gre cians. Tuesday by the Persians, W ed- nesday by the Assyrians, Thursday the EevDtians, Friday the Turks, and Satur- After a long Egyptians, Friday the ' day. by the Jews. Add to this the lact of the diurnal revolution of the earth, giving every variation of longitude a dit- ferent hour, and it becomes apparent that every moment is Sunday somewhere. DEATH OF CROCKETT. The following is a graphic sketch of the last moments of a brave man. “Colonel Crockett,wounded and close ly pursued by a number of the enemy, retreated into the church, felling them as they approached. He stationed him self in a niche in the corner, determin ed to face the foe to the last and sell his life dearly; with his rifle and a supera bundance of side arms, he hewed and shot them down with the same awful certainty that was wont to characterize his indomitable spirit. His position rendered access to him utterly impo-s> ble, except by a direct and close ap- proachi n front. After some eight or ten of them were laid before him, a feeling of awe seemed to seize hold of the as sailants. One of them who could speak a little broken English, probably pre ferring to have the signal honor of cap turing so noble a specimen of Ameri can valor to present to his ‘dear master,’ said to Crockett, ‘surrender! senor.’ A flash of the most sovereign scorn darted from his fiery eye,and as it pierc ed that of the enemy, he seemed to be transfixed. ' In a voice of thunder Crockett answered, ‘surrender ! No j am an American,* and as he spoke he sent a ball through the heart of the par alyzed foe. He appeared for a moment like a wounded tiger, strengthened and buoyed by each additional wound ; now hewing them down with his well-tried sword—next dealing death with his fire arms. His person was literally drench ed with his own blood ; his strength must soon yield to its loss. Yet such physical power wrought to the highest degree of excirement can perform in credible prodigies. This was the last concentrated energy of a powerful man aroused, animated, and guided by one of the noblest attributes of man—love of liberty. He knew for what his lite was about to be sacrificed ; that devas tation and butchery would follow the footsteps ofhis heartless foes, that wo man would be sacrificed to satiate the desires of the conqueror, and, feeling the holy inspiration of a dying patriot, he fought manfully till the loss of blood and approach of death stayed hi* up raised arm ; his rifle was broke to pie ces, his pistols fell to the floor, and nothing but his faithful sword was left, In the agony of death, with a terrible grasp, he brought this last weapon upon the head of the nearest assailant, nnd fell victoriously across his body in the arms of death. In this coiner of the church there were twenty-six dead Mexicans, and no other American hav ing fought or fallen at that point, it is considered beyond all reasonable doubt that all of them fell by the hand of Ten nessee’s favorite son! All were now dead, not a man left to relate the won derful deeds of this illustrious band of heroes 1 Not a companion left to rear monument to their memory ! But, a 11 no monument is required to perpetuate their fame. So long as freedom Has an abiding place in America, will their heroic deeds and proud names be held sacred. CURIOUS FACTS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS. The^Boston Transcript presents to its readers the following compilation of curious coincidents in the names and lives of the first seven Presidents of the United States—Washington, John Ad ams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, John Quincy Adams, and Jackson : “Four of the seven were from Vir ginia. T wo of the same name were Irom Massachusetts, and the seventh was from Tennessee. All but one were 66 years old on leaving office, haring served two terms, and one of these, who served but one term would have been sixty-six years of age at the end of another. Three of the seven died on the 4th day of July , and two of them on the same day and year. Two of them were on the su b-committee of three that drafted the Declaration of Independence, and these two died on the same day and year, and on an anniversary of the de claration. The names of three of the seven end in gon, yet neither of these transmitted his name to a son. In re spect to the names of all, it may be said in conclusion ; the initials of two of the seven were the same—and of two others that they were the same—and the ini tials of still two others were the same. The remaining one who stands alone in this particular, stands alone also in the admiration and love of his countryman and of the civilized world—Washing ton. Of the first five, only one had a son and that son was also President.” Another curious fact may be men tioned in this connection. It is, that neither of the Presidents who had a son was elected for a second term. mean things. A wife likes her husbind to be con siderale. Unexpected kindnesses a'nd unsolicited favors touch her heart. She appreciates the softened tread when she is sick ; she enjoys the gift brought from a distance, and every thing which proves to her that her husband thinks of her comfort and her good. Husbands, reflect upon these things. Your wife has confided her happiness to you. You can make her life proudly happy, if you are kind and wise. You A Receipt forGetting a Husband. —The following simple and expeditious method of acquiring a husband, we clip om an English paper. It is a receipt which is said to be almost invariably efficacious, and we recommend it to the consideration of lady aspirants for joys matrimonial, who are beyond a certain, age: A gentleman of the bar in a neighbor ing county, in eisy circumstances and pretty good practice, had rendered him self somewhat remarkable by his at tempts in the way of matrimonial specu lation. A maiden rather advanced in years, residing se me miles—distant in the neighborhood, hearing of this law yer’s speculating propensity, that his character was unexceptionable, and his situation in life was tolerably good, re solved upon making him her husbandL She hit upon the following expedient: She pretended suddenly to be taken very ill, and sent for the man of the law to prepare her will. He attended for that purpose. By bet will she devised $10,1100 in bank stock tJ be divided among her three cousins,some thousands in bonds and noles to a niece, and a landed estate to a favorite nephew. The will being finished, she gave hef lawyer a very liberal fee, and enjoined secrecy upon him for some pretended purpose#, thus precluding him from an inquiry into her real circumstances. Need I mention the result ? In a fortnight the lady thought proper to he again restored to health. The lawyer called to con gratulate her on her restoration—beg? ged permission to visit hef, which was politely given. After a short courtship, the desired offer was made. The bar gain was concluded and fatified by the priest. The lawyer’s whole estate by his wife consists of an annuity of sixty- five dollars.” A Smart Dog.— A friend of ours ha# a dog which used to be very smart. lie SSIJ’S • . *v * ^ ■ There was’nt anything in all Kentucli tha» could begin with him. ’ct-pt one. One day we started a bar, a regolar snorter. He put right off, nnd the dog after him ; an’ I brought up in the rear. Thev were soon out ot sight, but I fol lowed on for a mile or so, and came out at last on a clearing, where was a log hut, an’ a feller sitting down an’ smoking his pipe as comfortable as possible; * Did yon see anything of a dog aa’ iF bar going by here 1’ sez I to ihe feller; ‘ Vest, I did,’ sez he. ‘ WhI, how was it ?’ sez I. « Wal,’ sez he, taking his pipe out; itu* drawing his coat sleeve across his fie«»* •it war about nip an’ lug. though I thigh the dog had a little the advantage.’ ‘ How was that ?’ sez I. « Wal, he was a trifle ahead !* '* A Clergyman, who was in the habit of preaching in different parts of the coun try, was, not long since, at an inn, where he observed a horse-jockey trying to take in a simple gentleman, by impos ing upon him a broken-winded horse for a sound one. - -V I The parson knew the haJ character of the jockey, and taking the gentleman aside, told him to be cautious of the per son he was dealing with. The gentleman finally declined to purchase, and the jockey, quite nettled, observed— Parson, I had much rather hear you can make pr you ere ignoble and short-sighted. Let P - •„. man man you ere ignoble the contest between husbands and wives be this: Which shall do most for the happiness of the other. Here is a toast which will be drank by the whole masculine gender, bache lors included, with a good will. Worn .n: The last and best of the ey. series—it we may have her for a toast, ' In the State we wouhl’nt ask for any but her. clergyman. •*' i ■"*■■ ■ . rink I'-T? fere in bargains between man and man in this way.’ ‘ Well,’ replied the parson, • if you were where you ought to have been last Sunday, you might have heard me Where was that?’ inquired thejock- Prison !’ retorted the Printing Presses, Pulmts a.\6 Petticoats.—These are - three great levers that govern the world. Without them the bottom would fall out. and so^ ciety would become a chaos again. The press making people patriotic, and pul pit religious, but women sway all things:. There would be no gding clmrciH if there were no girls there, neither would there be any going to war were the sol diers, to meet with no applause but from the masculines. Without the smishihd shed by woman;, the rose of affection would never grow nor the flowers of eloqueuce germinate. In short, she is the engine of life, the great power of love, valor and civilization. In proof of this, truth iu all history speaks trum pet tongued. With love, the heart becomes a f and fertile garden, glowing wit, sunshinO and Warm hues, aud exhaling sweet odors; but without it, is a bleak desert, • parched and fruitless.