Newspaper Page Text
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JOH> II. CHRISTY.
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DEVOTED TO NEWS, POLITICS, AGRICULTURE, EDUCATION AND GENERAL PROGRESS.
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$2.00 per Annum, in advance,
VOLUME XXI.
ATHENS, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, NOTE 25, 1874.
NUMBER 34.
the southern watchman
I’CBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY.
corttrr of Brand and trail Strrrts, (ip-stain.)
TERMS.
T> VO DOLLARS PER ANNUM,
IS VARIABLY IN ADVANCE.
VALUABLE LANDS
For Sale
T HE ud Jer?igned offers for nil bit two tract! of
land—f
ADVERTISING,
lirertisedenis win beinserted at ONE DOLLAR
FIFTY CENTS per square for the firstinser-
in 4 SEVBSTY-FIVE CENTS per square for
.jc'.inuaare. for »dj time uader one month. For
”«er periods, a libera! deduction will be made.
° T. \ liberal deduction on yearly advertisements.
LEGAL ADVERTISING .
tisriJ's sales, perlery of 10 lines $500
" .V* • mortgage sales. «0 days.. 5.00
tJ lays, ny Administrator,, Executors, or
Citations of Administration or Guardianship..... 4.00
Nstire l> Debtors and Creditors 5.00
Rales Nisi, per square, each insertion 1.50
Lsare'.osell Real Estate.. 4.00
Citation for dismission of Administrator 5.00
is “ “ Guardian 5.15
J., ascertain the number of aquares in an adrertiaa-
three hundred acres, lying on Little entry's creek, 6
miles from Jefferaon.il or 13 from Athens; 125 to
150 acres in original forest of excellent timber; 20 to
20 acres bottom; all in cnltiration near 140 acres: 8
or 10 acres in orobard, of the choicest andbest select
ed fruits. Tbe land will average with tbe best in the
county. Bouse bnilt since tbe war, of tbe best select
ed lumber and shingles, containing 9 rooms, 4 fire,
places, convenient to a tyring of the best water. Saw
' and Grist Mill three or foar hundred yards from tbe
house, as good as is in the country. Ont-bnildings,
gin-house. Ac, sufficient. Also, cabins for tenants.
Tbe other place contains two hundred and five acres,
15 or 20 river and branch bottom, land sufficient for
4 or 5 hands witb a little clearing up, as it has been
lying out for several years, which has improved it;
good fruit and water; common improvements: water
power for a gin. All indulgence granted possible.
julyl5 E.J. SHARP.
jltlrrt gUsttUang.
aset >? >oita»rj, eonntthe word*—oae hundred hein*
,;a*l to ten line*. Alifractions are coanted a* fall
ijair**-
HOWELL COBB,JR.
|lroftssimral anb Jnsmcss Carbs.
iv
0
_os
A
USSR C0»S. I A. S. EUWI.S. |
V)BB, ERWIN* k COBB,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
AT/fEXS, GEORGIA.
OSes in the Deuptee Building. Dec21
A. EDO*!,
BOOT, SHOE AND HARNESS MAKER,
Watcissvillx. Ga.
B ANKRUPTCY.—Samuel P. Thurmond,
Attorney-at-Law. Athen*. Ga.
Otic* 0 * Broad •tre't, over tkr store of Barry A Son.
Wiilrive *p<K*ial attention to eases *c Bankruptcy. Al
io to the collection of all claims entra*ted to his care.
ENGLAND k ORR.
I J Wholesale and Retail Dealers,
and COMMISSION MERCHANTS.
Dupree Hall Broad St, Athens, Ga.
T« art now prepared to store Cotton at 25 cent* per
• ale. ttd will advance ca*h when desired. OctJS.
E
N'iLlSH k CLASSICAL SCHOOL,
For Bot*. cor. Wray and Lumpkin sts., Atb-
apS—3m LEE M. LYLE. Prin.
E mory speer,
LAWYER, ATHENS. OA.
As Solicitor General of Western Circuit, will attend
the 0 >urt* of Clarke, Walton, Gwit.nett, Hall, Banks,
Jackson. Habersham, Franklin, Rabun and White,
asi £»*e attention to collecting and other claims in
those unties. March 19, 1S73.
E
B'VARD R. HARDEN,
Late Judge 17. 3. Courts Nebraska and Utah,
and now Judge of Brooks County Court)
Attornej at Law,
1 ly ijuitman, Brooks County, Ga.
JOBS S. ESTES. MADISON BELL.
E STES Jc BELL, Attornevs at Law,
GAINESVILLE, GA.
practice in the coantics composing the
Western Circuit, and Dawson and Forsyth counties
of the Blue Ridge Circuit. They will also practice in
thecapreiae Court of Georgia, and in the United States
Coart at Atlanta. mayl4
TpLOYD k SILliAX,
i 1 ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Will practice in the counties of Walton and Jackson
JOBS J. fLOYD, J. B. SILVAN
Covington, Ga. mar4 Jefferson, Ga.
FALL ANDWINTER STOCK OF
Millinery
AND FANCY GOODS.
MRS. T. A. ADAMS
A NNOUNCES to tbe public that she is now receie-
* A ing a larire and varied ?tock of Ladies’ Bonnets,
Hats Laces, Ribbons, Trimmings, Ac., which she is
offering at low prices. Call.examine and be convinced.
Next door to Bank of the University, Athens. sep30
Children’s Carriages.
falls three
A N EW lot just received, and for sale low, for cash.
Have also a large assortment of Buggies, Trade
Wagons. Rockaways. Phietons, One and Two-Hor*e
Wagons, Harness. «ie., all of which are offered on ac
commodating terms, to prompt paving customers, by
Oct7. 2t. W. V. P. HODGSON.
E. A. WILLIAMSON,
Practical WatcWer and Jeweler.
Dr. King’s Drag Store, Broad Street, will *xe-
and at reasonable prices.
Terms positively CASH.
FOR SALE.
I N A W offer my undivided half interest in my pla
tation, two and a half to three miles fr<>m Athei
This place contains about five hun red and eleven
acres good bottom and upland, well improved. Terms,
one-half or three-fourths cash ; balance on 12 months*
time, at 10 per cent, interest, I will take pleasure in
showing said land to any one wishing to buy.
I also offer for sale my house and lot. The lot con
tains one and a half acres, and a two-story house, with
1 1 rooms, barn, stable, smoke-house, carriage and
wagon hou-*c, all new and substantial. There is also
a fine spring and cistern on said lot. Terms, one-half
or three-fourtbs^cash ; balance on 12 months’ time,
with interest at 10 per cent. A bargain will be given
on tbe above property.
aug!9 J. S. ENGLAND.
T F. O’KELLEFS
0 . PHOTOGRAPH GALLERY,
Over Williams’Shoe store, Broad street, Athens,
Georgia. sep3.
New Firm and New Goods.
GRIFFETH & CRANE
\ RE now opening at the old stand of Lampkin A
■sw* Crane, No. 9 Broad Street, a fine stock of
STAPLE DRY GOODS,
GROCERIES,
PROVISION’S OF ALL KINDS,
Hats, Shoes, Crockery,
TABLE AND POCKET CUTLERY,
In fact,every thing usually kept in a first-class Van
ety Store—which we propote to sells; thelowestcask
prices, or exchange for Country Produce.
W e respectfully solicit the patronage of our friends
and the pnblic generally.
Febl GRIFFETH A CRANE
T H. HUGGINS,
•J • holesale and Retail Dealer in
DRY GOODS. GROCERIES. HARDWARE. Ac.
Fcblfi Broad Street, Athens, Ga.
T'MIN' II. CHRISTY,
0 Plain and Fancy BOOK AND JOB PRINTER,
Broad 3t„ Athens. Ga.
Office corner Broad and Wall streets, ovar the store
Jxxcj D. Pittard. tf
TAMES R. LYLE.
U Attorsct at Law,
WATKISSVILLE, GA.
JOHN' M. MATTHEWS.
U Attorney at Law,
Danielsriile.Ga.
Prompt attention will be giren to Any business en-
exited to his care. MarchW.
TAMES L. LONG, M. D.
O SURGEON, ACCOUCHEUR t PHYSICIAN,
(Qfice at lfr. Thomas Skrats* Store,)
Geod Hope District, Walton county, Ga.
Offers his professional services to tbccitixens of the
•arTounding country. ang27
DR. WHITTIER;
No. 617 St. Chsrles Street, St. Lords, l£a,
laparidM, erxrj atens ic skekmsss whLS*rmSe \
— — — — * «ua uptmuifft
i eUrtmd ty tXt StaUtT MU-
ku httt mDilaari to oweor*
•»fc. «mala u4 rwllahto Bdai a gnOmsxs st
mtctbI mitiml mSmm, ta4 hariac ta• fiiWfWaw of •
longaa* Baku perfect*!
r«a*ilMttotu,t«MtMl la all these com*. Bia'poUeBto
u* btiac W—ted By aiU or tnmi tftnvto*. Vv
amrr wk* faltedL mU or writ*. Fran lit r«U nas»-
of nppasastoaa a• U cubteA U keep hia ehargta
tow. 36 pages, ftviaf ran symptoms, tor two ma;i.
MARRIAGE GUIDE,
3M> pscss. a popoltr book vbfab sbomid b* ml ty etert-
bxly. So worrtad p«ir, w ponou cca:*n»Utiac cif-
rur. «aa atford to do vttboat U. It eoatoiao tbo rno st
exooanl Utcntm oa tbi* nbjoet, tbo rcaalu of Dr. W.'o
too® oiportottfo: nlm tbo best tboscbta trrrn bu vorka
La bar ' ‘ *“ " ‘‘ * ... — -
Soo^cote^oi^pffibl for SOct*. j|
Tbe Best Spool Cotton,
I J'OR use on sny Sowing Machine, is “ CLARk’S
O. N. T.,” especially that made for and bearing
K ELIAS, Attorney at Law,
• FRANKLIN. N. C.
Practices in all the Courts of Western North Caro-
•ina. and in the Federal Courts. Claims collected in
all parts of the State. apl«—1 y
the name of the Singer Manufacturing Co. A word
to the wife should be sufficient, jgft- Pri<*e, 75c. pei
dtixen Spools, at the office of tbe SINGER MANU
FACTURING CO. G. H. HOPE, Agent,
jalyl—ij Bishop’s Corner, Athens, Ga.
T INF.BY, Feed and Sale Stable,
ATHENS, GA.
GAW Ji REAVES, .Proprietors,
ill be found at their eld stand, rear Frank-
lm House building, Thomas street. Keep always
on hand good Turn-outs and careful drivers,
stock well cared for when entrusted to our care,
-tock on band for sale at all times. dec55—ti
M W. RIDES,
• ATTORNEY AT LAW,
C.S. Claim Agent and Notary Public,
_ Gaiskstille, Ga.
Office on Wilson street, below King k Bro’s.
February 19, l$7a.
HE subscriberbsi fitted up and opened a safe, cum
fortable and commodious Wagon Yard, on River
street, in tbe neighborhood of the Upper Bridge, where
CORN, FODDER, and all other necessary supplies can
be pure based on reasonable terms. Charges moderate.
The highest market price paid for Country Produce,
and Bank bills received in exchange for Goods.
JelyT tf WTLKY F HOOD
C B. P. BOWELL.
PHEPLES 4 HOWELL,
X ^ ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
iO and 22, Kimball House, Atlanta. Ga.
Ur.\oriCE in the Stateand Federal Courts, and
Atuuvi regularly all the Courts in Atlanta, includ-
,B < -he >upreme Court of the State, and will argue
***** Q P° a briefs for absent parties, on reasonable
THE GREAT REMEDY
'»'*o practice intheConrtsof theconntieseon-
tl °°* cr accessible to Atlanta by Railroad, sepll
■■FOR
Bms, Scalds, Com, Poison Oat, Sip
tf lettts ad Citattw IihumtiHS Gwrallj,
DISCOVERED B¥ BBS. L E. BUSH,
JUG TAVERN, WALTON CO., GA.,
pAVILlOS HOTEL,
Tk . CHARLESTOX, S. C.
. , “ FIRST-CLASS Hotel ia aitnated in tha very
* re of the baainess part of tha city, and all who
•ip th«re aillfindevary convenience and laxary that
b<.procured. Board, per day, $3.00.
Smpt. Mrs. L. H.BcmariiLD,
D,cJ 5 tf JVoprialr.ee.
plAIY
and Fancj Job Printing,
At the Southern Watchman Office.
S. ADAMS, M. D.,
Snaatox, Accoccuaca aau Paratcua.
Office at residence, Monntain District, Waltoacoun'
. . 'Jtnrgia—offers his professional services to the
~’‘ lltll> °* Ike aurronnding country. uugSfi—ly
R k ADAIR, D. D. S.
* HilMIVtM
. GatiusriLLB, Ga.
J*nce. iontheaat corner Pnblic Square.
„ , A KEWT0S,
Dcalera in
Foreign a.4 Domestic HARDWARE,
Ne. 0,Broad street, Athens, Ga.
c. DOBBS,
s'. Wholesale and Retail Denier ta
•£ka** a F “«T DRT HOODS, GROCIRIRS, Ac.
No. 1$ Bread Street, Athens, 6a.
and HOLES.
NV S. HOLMAN
v wai trip ew headderie, tU Winter a fatt
FOR SAFTG,
•EVERAL superior building lots, being a part of
) tha lot known as the Baxter place. Apply to
Dr. M S. DUKHAM, or
ang!9—tf J. S. WILLIFORD.
Wagon Yard in Athens.
ITT AS entered against tbe World, at tbe late State
\ V Fair at Macon, and is daily effecting THE MOST
WONDERFUL CURBS, and has become an indis
pensable household necessity. family should be
ithoet it!
If, after trial, a family is wilUag to lire without this
preparation for Tea Dollars, agents are authorised to
refund the money.
FOB SALE,
In Athens—At Dr Wm King’s Drag Store and at
the Store of Judge J D Pittard.
In WatkiasrUle—At tha Store or Booth A Durham.
In Monroe—At Dr Galloway’s Drag Store.
At Princeton—By Mr RnsseH.
Address all orders to WILEY H. BUSH,
norlt Jag Taeera, Walton eo-, Ga.
Desirable Property
FOR SALE Of RENT.
rpHE ELEGANT RESIDENCE corner of Wray and
1 I
- Lampkin streets, in a highly respectable neigh
borhood, is offered for sale or teat. Then are eight
rooms with fire-places. Tbe La* ia large enough te
divide, and wiibia EM yards el the College Chapel—
For terms. 4e. apply to S L. M. LYLE.
ATHENS
HiRBLE MDJBlMTt 11HD
A. B. Robertson
T'hRALBRiaKs.asMuta,HeadSteaee,CradleTemba f
U Mart. * M
;ees & Saddle Horses, Mules, &c.
iSr^Syt^StmkteiU call on Aim of
_ MarbleandGranitaBaxTomha. AlsoyVaaasand
Marble Tape for Furniture. Persons desiring work of
this kind will 4o well to examine my designs before
purchasing elsewhere. GT Prices moderate.
Work shop adjoining old cemetery
jaly$$—ly
SsrlFBEEEf
PLE to agents. Ladies’ CesnMaa-
Necdle-Book.with Chronics. Send
A LAWYER’S STORY.
It was a first night on the circuit after vaca
tion, and old Tom Badger’s torn fora story.
Tom’s fortt lay in the * criminal line.’
He had cheated the gallows so often that
Bill Qoiplev used to say he wondered how he
conld look a hemp-field in the face.
‘ Did I ever tell yon, said Tom, giving his
tumbler of jnlep an exhaustive sack—‘did I
ever tell yoa, boys, about Obed Scott’s case t’
No, be never had.
• I should like to have sach another now,’
he resumed. ‘It was just desparate enough
to put one on bis legal metal; and I think,
with nsv present experience, I could win three
times oat of five, under similar circumstances.
Bat I was a boy then.’
‘ How was it f’ we asked, desirous to cut
short the preface.
‘ The case was in a nutshell,’ said Tom, com
ing to the point.
• Enos Bnrdge was an old settler, without
wife or child, who Degau to feel hampered as
the population averaged half a man to the
square mile. He decided to sell out and go
West.
‘ He had a choice tract of laud, with a com
fortable home on it; and Obed Scott, the like
liest young man in the settlement, made an
offer to buy it. Obed, instead of squandering
ids pains foolishly, as too many youngsters do,
bad saved them up.
‘ One reason of bis prudence, maybaps, was
his engagement to Hettie Ward.the prettiest girl
I ever saw.’
The old lawyer stopped to honor her with a
reminiscent swig.
‘ Though others.’ he continued. * offered
more, in payments, Enos accepted Obid’s bid ;
for tbe latter was ready to pay cash down, and
Enos said he wished to quit the country for
good, and didn’t want to leave unsettled busi
ness behind him.
‘ On the day fixed for completing the con
tract, Enos went before a Justice of the Peace,
and duly executed a deed to Obed Scott, which
he carried away with him—saying Obed was
to meet him that evening, pay the money, re
ceive the deed and take possession; after
which it was Enos’s intention to pass the night
with an old friend, to whom ho was to pay a
small debt, and whose house lay in the direc
tion of the journey.
• But Enos never reached his friend’s house,
and the only account given of him after leav
ing tbe Justice’s, was by Obed Scott, who said
that be bad met Enos at bis cabin, as agreed
on, paid him his money, and gotten the deed ;
and then Enos had gone away, leaving him in
possession of his purchase.
• There was no honester man than Enos
Bardge. That he should have left the country
clandestinely to avoid paying the one trifling
debt he owed, and without stopping to bid his
friends good-bye, seemed a thing almost in
credible.
• Rumors of foul play began to be circulated;
and those were not wanting who hinted at the
possibility of Obed Scott's having thought it
an economical stroke to put Enos out of tbe
way and so possess himself of the deed with
out paying the stipulated price.
So rife did these rumors grow, that sundry
good citizens called on Obed and told him that
tboroagh investigation was necessary to vin
dicate bis name.
• Instead of inviting inquiry, as good policy,
to put it on no higher gronnd, would have dic
tated, Obed was indignant, or feigned to be, at
the imputation cast upon him. His tone en
hanced rather than allayed tbe prevailing
doubts, and a search of the premises was be
gun. without waiting for his permission.
Not far from tbe cabin, beneath some scat
tered straw, signs were discovered indicating
hat tbe earth had recently been distarbed ;
and on digging down a little way, tbe mangled
corpse of Enoe Bardge was exhumed.
Obed admitted that he bad taken possession
of tbe cabin on tbe evening of its late owner's
departure, and that be slept there tbat night.
Enos Bardge bad never been seen alive since.
Who was likely to have slain and buried him
where bis body was found, but tbe man who
bad both the motive and tbe opportunity f
That was tbe question I asked myself when
retained to conduct Obed’s defence, and I con
fess I was unable to return a satisfactory an
swer. Still. I felt bound to do my best, and I
did it.
On tbe trial, the facts were proved much
as I have related them. In summing np,
made tbe most of Obed’s good character, dwelt
on tbe fallaciousness of circumstantial evi
dence, read cases from the books to show how
many judicial murders it bad been accessory
to, and wound np with a strong appeal to the
jury to give the defendant the benefit of every
reasonable doubt
But old Paxwax, the presiding Judge, strip
ped tbe gilding off my speech by repeating in
bis charge tbe nsual platitudes about the im
possibility of circumstances lying. True, ho
told tbe jnry, that the prisoner was entiled to
all reasonable donbta; bat, then, he empha
sized the word ‘reasonable* in such a way as
to indicate, plainly enough, tbat in his opinion,
in the present case, any donbt would be wholly
unreasonable.
When tbe jury brought him in guilty, Obed
turned pale for a moment, though, on the
whole, I think he bore it better than I did.
‘What have yon to say, asked tbe Judge
why the sentence of tbe law should not be
pronounced upon yon t*
Nothin,* Obed answered, • only you’re agoin'
to send me afore a court as has got more sense,
I hope, than this's, and whar I’ll git a fair
trial, even if ’Squire Badger arn't thar te plead
my
• The Judge reproved him for bis levity
and, after an exhortatioa to repeateoce, which
would have become the month of a better man,
old Paxwax sentenced tbe prisoner to be baDg-
ed after six weeks.
‘ I applied in vain for a writ tit error and
stay of proceedings. Equally in vain I appeal
ed to tbe Executive clemency- Governors of
States are generally so modi man jest than
tbe Great Governor, that when it becomes a
question of mercy, tbe responsibility is com
monly shuffled off on the latter.
Obed aeat me a message to come and see
mate of a little log jail, with the
timbers thick.
‘The jailor let me in and closed tbe door
upon me. It wasn’t nsual then, as now. to
keep close watch on condemned criminals to
see tbat they didn't anticipate their doom. If
they hanged themselves, it was so mnch trou
ble saved.
‘ How do yon feel, Obed V I inquired, taking
his band kindly.
* Jest mid’lin,’ he answered. ‘Yon see. I
could a stood it a heap better if Gettie hadn't
come to see me.’
* Die like a man,’ I said; * there’s no help
for it now.’
‘ I can’t do it,’ he replied, ‘and what’s more,
I won’t.’
‘ I looked at him in surpriso.
‘ Yon 6ee this yer rope,’ he continued. * I
made it out of my bed-clothes, this afternoon,
determined, if I had to be hanged, to do the
job myself; but since I seen Hettie, I changed
my mind.’
‘ My astonishment increased.
* A lawyer hain’t no right to peach on his
client, has he V
* This was a question including several oth
ers, among them the important one when the
relationship referred to might be considered
ended.
* At any rate, if yon give the alarm now. I’ll
kill yon,’ be said quietly, and before I knew it
he had grasped my arm with one hand, and
placed tbe other on my mouth
‘ You must submit to be gagged,’ be added,
in tbe same firm, determined tone.
I felt tbat censcience didn’t demand the
imperiling of my life. I saw that Obed was
desperate, and would stick at nothing. I was,
moreover, an infant in his bands.
‘ He stuffed a wad of something in my mouth,
and secured it by a bandage brought around
and tied at the back of my neck.
* Then, compelling me to c'uaoge clothing
witb him. he bonnd me hand and foot with the
cord he had prepared, aud fastened me on his
bed. Then bidding me good-night, he tapped
at tbe door—my usual signal to be let out.
* I do not know if I would have warned the
drowsy jailor if I could. I beard Obed bid him
good-nigbt in my voice, and walk away unmo
lested.
* 1 think I was glad, I could not feel sorry ;
for I bad never mere than half believed in
Obed’s guilt, and despite tbe inconvenience to
myself. I entertained a secret hope tbat bis
plan of escape might succeed.
* Of course there was a hubbub when tbe
sheriff and his assistants came in the morning.
Of course my explanation proved satisfactory;
and, of course, it would have been carrying
the doctrine of representation by attorney to
an nn warrantable extent to have hanged me
in my client's stead.
‘ There were some who whispered that it
was a concerted thing between Obed and my
self; but my professional standing was a suf
ficient vindication against such a slander.’—
Ha ! ha ! ha!’ laughed an irreverent junior.
The ‘ death rattle,’ evoked by Mr. Badger’s
last suck at the julep, was the only reply
deigned to the young man's impertinence.
And what do you think of the case after
allf asked Bill Quipley.
Oh, tbe truth came out at last! Ahab
Grandy was paying me some money one day.
Among tbe bank notes be gave me one pecn-
liarly marked, which I remembered having
paid to Enos Bardge on the day he disappear
ed. I secretly procured a warrant and had
G randy's house searched. Tbe result was the
discovery of a Dumber of the murdered maD’s
effects. AmoDg them was a watch be bad
worn for many years, and which was readily
identified.
* When confronted with the proofs of his
guilt. Ahab confessed tbat be bad waylaid,
robbed and murdered Edos Bardge, after the
latter had received tbe money fer his land,
and tbat he had buried the body at the dead
of night where, if it should be found, suspicion
would be likely to fall upon another.
Ahab Grandy was banged in dne time—
Obed Scott, who turned np after a season, was
happily married to Hattie Ward, who had
never lost faith in her lover’s innocence in
spite of judge and jury.’
HOW TO ENDURE.
Though my life is one of trouble—
Sorrow’s clonds around me rise,
Yet I never trouble borrow,
Spending time in foolish sighs;
For this thought always cheers me,
While a sufferer here I roam—
Every day that hath its ending
Brings me one the nearer home.
Though with sickness oft afflicted.
Enowing hoars and hoars of pain—
Though by friends oft neglected,
Yet for this I ne'er complain.
For tbe time is swiftly hast’ning
When an end to this will come—
Every day that has its ending
Brings me one tbe nearer home.
And since ’twas meant I should suffer
What I long and yet must bear,
'Tis folly in ine to murmur
All the ills that flesh is heir;
So I cease ali my complaining.
Never hero my fate bemoan.
Since I know a day is coming
When I’ll reach a happy home.
How Gunner Got a Speech.
Max Adeler tells this: Brown and Gunner,
two politicians down in my neighborhood, were
both invited, the other day, to address a meet
ing at an agricultural fair, and both accepted.
Brown is a very careful man, and he always
writes ont his sp<>ecbes; and frequently reads
them from the manuscript; while Gunner,
who is very ready, always pitches in without
preparation, and frosts to lack for the result.
On the night before the meeting tbe two room
ed together at the hotel, and as they were go
ing to bed Gunner saw Brown place a roll of
paper on the bureau. After he got into bed,
it occurred to Gunner that this must be
Brown’s speech, aud then a happy thought
struck him. He waited until Browfl began to
snore, then he got softly out of bed, seized the
speech, crept out of the room and went down
stairs. He sat up ail night learniog the speech;
as he had an astonishing memory, he had it by
heart by breakfast time. Then Gunner went
back to bed for a short nap, and Brown had
no idea tbat be bad been absent. When the
meeting was opened. Gunner insisted on speak
ing first. As he began. Brown was surprised
to observe tbat G-unner's speech began just as
bis did, and be smiled at the odd coincidence.
Presently be ceased to smile, and began to be
astonished ; then an expression of pain over
spread bis face ; i:ben be became hot and mad;
and finally, in a paroxysm of rage, leaped up
and tried to stop Gnnner, and called for the
police. Then Brown sat down, nearly choking
witb wrath, and when Gunner, after uttering
the last words of Brown’s speech, coolly con
eluded by introducing Brown to the audience
the next speaker. Brown rushed up, and
shaking bis fist under Gunner's nose, shrieked,
’ll not make my speech after you, you mean,
low-lifed, muttoc.-hcaded thief; but I’ve half
notion to murder you,’ and then he fled, amid
roars of laughter from the audience. Gunner
and Brown don’t speak to each other now.
County School Examination.
“ Solomon Smith, Jr., step np here.'
‘ Smith, a stupid looking country boy, ad
vanced to tbe platform, tripped on the step,
stood np, and began :
Whsn general—
Make yonr bow, sir!” interrupted Mr.
Whipem.
The boy stopped short, made a jerky incli
nation and went on :
When general Jaekson eliafced the heights,
(Here be raised his feet as if climbing.)
And ton the starry banner down,
(Snatching at tha air)
He eanght his foot upon a stamp,
And scraped himself from toe to crown.
Daring the delivery of these last lines he
pat on the most painful expressions of counte
nance, and scraped bis band over his whole
person.
“ Well done. Solomon,’’ said Mr. Whipem,
go oa with the next verse.”
“Thar ain’t no next varse, sir; the more*
comes next.”
Well, then, give os the moral, sir P
As wc rash npward on oar way,
Qaiek hastening o’ar tha Sod,
(Running from one side ofthe piatfortn to the
other.)
Soma littla trouble stops oar war,
And down wa Call, by G—d.
(Sitting down sharply on tbe floor.)
“ Solomon,” eald Ur. Whipem, as soon as
he had recovered hia breath, “ did yom write
thatf”
“ No, air,” whimpered the boy, “ Sam Jones
wrote it for me. I gave him two apples for it.'
“ Thar, exclaimed Mr. Whipem, “ I thought
Sam Jones did it; he’s at the bottom of every
piece of mlsceief in tbe county; wait till
ketch him.”
Dais a Co. f Naw Badford. Mass, him on hia last night. Ho was tbo only Id. to be sore 1
--An Irishman asks a Long Island woman
the price of a pair of fowls, and is told,
•A dollar.”
•And a dollar it is, my dariintf why, in my
country yon might boy them for sixpence
* And why didn’t yon stay in that bioeaod
cheap country f
* Och, faith, and there was no sixpence there
A Puzzled Darkey.
Not a hundred miles from Crestline, a color
ed American citizen keeps a stand for the sale
newspapers, cigars, apples and other knick
knacks. Thither one day went a bnriy engi
neer. given somewhat to practical joking, and
asked for a nickel's worth of peanats. The
elongated ediblea were immediately measured
and handed over.
Dare dey are. sah!’
Let me 6ee,’ said the engineer, thought
fully. ‘ I don’t lielieve I want these after all.
Take 'era back and give me a couple of apples
in the place of them.'
All right, sah!’ and tbe exchange was made
in a twinkling.
The engineer still hesitated, fumbling tbe
apples in an undecided manner. Finally—
• Durn my buttons; I don’t believe I want
these either. I’ll trade ’em to yon for a cigar.’
The dicker was made without objection, and
the engineer, after lighting his cheroot, turned
away.
Hoi’ on, dar! yon don gon, and forgot to
pay for dat cigar.’
Certainly I paid for it. I gave you the ap
ples for it.’
Bat yon didn’t pay for tbe apples.’
Why, yes, I give you the peanats for them.’
Yoa didn’t pay for the nuts.’
Well, I didn’t; keep ’em, did 11’
Da' so! fo’ God. da* so!' and while the
puzzled darkey was scratching his wool the
engineer made his escape. Before taming the
comer he glanced back and beheld tbe darkey
with bent head in rnminating attitude, evi
dently satisfied that as a commercial transac
tion it was all straight, bat wondering where
he had made anything ont of the dicker.’
A Grecian Legend.
When Bacchus was a boy he journeyed
through Hellas to go to Naxia; and as the
way was very long, he grew tired and sat down
upon a stone to rest. As he sat there with his
eyes upon the gronnd, be saw a little plant
spring np between bis feet, and was so mnch
pleased with it that he determined to take it
with him and pliint it in Naxia. He took
np and carried it< away with him; bat as the
•an was very hot, he feared it might wither
before he roaehed his destination. He found
a bird’s skeleton, into which he tbrast it, and
went on. Bnt in his hand tbe plant sprouted
so fast that it started oat of the bones above
and below. This gave him fresh fear of its
withering, and be cast about for a remedy.—
He found a lion'K bone, which was thicker than
the bird’s skeleton, and be stock the skeleton
with tbe plant hi it into tbe bone of the lion.
Ere long, however, tbe plant grew out of the
lion’s Do"* likewise- Then be found the bone
of an ass, larger than tbat of the lion; so be
pot it into the lion's containing ^be bird’s
skeleton and the plant, then into the am? bone,
and thus be made way to Naxia. When about
to aet tbe plant he foond tbat the roots had
entwined themaslvee around the bird’s skele-
toD, and the Umi’s bone, and the ass’ bone ;
and as he oonld not take it eut without damag
ing the ro.ots, h» planted it as it was, and it
Q p speedily, and bore to bis great joy tbe
most delicio « grapes, from which to made the
first wine, ai id gave it to men to drink. Bat
behold a mir. xck>! When men first, drank of
it, they sang’ like birds; next, after drink
ing a little mo n, they became vigorous and
gallant like lio ss; when they drank more atm,
they began to 1 lehave like
-The great desert of Africa has nearly the
present dunensLun* ofthe United States.
WILL. SEAFORB’S FORTUNE.
Old Dave Barrett, rare old Dave, the prince
of good mess-mates and able seamen, rolling
his quid like a sweet morsel under his tongue
was “ yarning it” in tbe forecastle of the wha
ler Neptnne. Dave was a sailor, every inch.
His rough face, rolling gait and delicious sea
tougae, were all of the sea—salty! Brave old
rover! When tbe great book U opened, and
the good deeds are read, may the good over
balance the evil in bis account, that he may
enter the ‘ sailors’ snag haven,’ there to ride at
anchor through the long, eternal day.
‘ Come about me, mates,’ be said, ‘ for I’m
of a mind to tell you how Will. Seaford found
hU fortune. I knowed him well, mates—no
man better, and he were a man and a mess
mate to tbe very back-bone. . It woald have
done yon good to see that face on deck, when
they piped all bands aloft in a storm. It al
ways did me good to see him out there on the
weather ear-ring, working away as cheerfally
as if he bad solid ground beneath hU feet,
rather than a foot rope, while tbe sea boiled
below, and the great rollers leaped up—eager
to tear him from bis bold. He was as hand
some a young chap as yon would wish to see,
witb black curling hair, black eyes, cheeks as
rosy as a girl’s, and mighty muscles! I often
thought he had no right at sea, and was born
to better things; but he loved it. Mates,
when you see a smile on a man’s face in hours
of danger, then make up your minds that
you've got a good man to stand by yon when
danger threatens.
‘ Our old man was a good Captain. ’Taint
often you sail under a better one than Jack
Yenner, of the old Arethusa. We had been
two years on tbe whaling grounds, and were
coming home full to the batches; and, on the
way back, we stopped at Honolulu for eea
stores. When the last load had come on board
the old man went ashore in his gig, and when
he came back he bad a passenger in the stern
sheets, the neatest little clipper these eyes
ever see—his darter—she were a beaaty, boys!
\Ye sailors may be rough aud ready but we
love the name of woman or we are no true sai
lors. Will Seaford was pulling the stroke oar
iu the captain's gig, and his eves were fixed
upon her face in a mute, adoring way, and I
knowed his billet had come. It was rough in
a foremast Jack to think of falling head over
ears in love with a girl like tbat—the captain’s
darter, too; but be done it. She seemed to
like his looks, too, when we sent the * whip’
down to get her up the side. Will, was the one
to help her into it, and teil what to do.
‘ Her uncle had been United States Consul
at Honolulu, and was goiDg home in a month
or so, and she wanted to go back witb her
father. We sailed next day and headed to
ward the cape, and I never see a gal take to
the sea as Milly did. All day long she’d sit on
the fork’sel, in the shadow of the sail, or else
on the quarter deck, looking out for sails and
watching for tbe wonders of tbe sea. Dolphins,
porpuss and sword-fish in the sea; albatross.
Mother Cary’s chickens and gulls in the sky—
everything pleased her. And Will used to
watch her, whether steering bis trick at the
wheel or working iu the tops, until I boned
him about it.
I've knowed you now nigh unto two years.
Will Seaford,’ I says, • and I did not know yon
was a cussed fool until this blessed moment.
What d'ye look at that gal far t’
A 'fore the mast Jack—a able seaman at
best—tbat dares to look at the captain’s'daugb
ter in that way, ought to be kicked from tbe
stern post, to tbe figure head of tbe old Are-
tbusa. I wouldn’t speak this way. Will, only
I love you, aud don't want to see yon making
a fool of yourself.’
‘ I suppose I am a fool, old Dave,' he says
or such an old mutton head as yon never
would have found me out. So you don't think
I’m good enough to look at tbe captain's
daughter !’
You may be good enuff iu my opinion and
in tbe opinion of the rest of the crew, bat these
captains ain't in the habit of marryin’ their
darters to a chap tbat bas dipped his hand in
a slush bucket.’
He laughed, and went on with his work,
and one Dight after the old man had turned in
and Will ought to have been in his hammock,
I saw her standing with him by the lee rail,
witb her bead mighty close to his. I were
mad, I tell yon, but it ain't in me to peach on
a mess-mate, no matter what be does, and I
went forrard, thinking what a fearful keel
banling Will woald git if tbe old man sbonld
come on deck, and I felt some one brush by
me, and there was tbe old man close beside
them. Tbe gal gave a little scream, and Will
drawed hisself np and looked like a king, while
the captain opened bis month and kinder swore
a little! And, when old man Yenner let him
self loose, he conld make a dead calm at sea
by swearing. It took ail the wind for his
breath, and made things smell of sulphur.
* Go below,’ he said, shaking bis fist nnder
Will’s nose. ‘ 1.11 teach yon to sneak np on
deck in this way, yon—swab.’
* Don't say anything you may have cause to
repent. Captain Yenner,’said Will, coolly,
was going to speak to yoa to-morrow, and tell
yon tbat I loved year daughter, aud wished to
make her my wife.’
•I don’t wonder that Captain Yenner coa Id
not speak, bat jast stoop and glared at the
boy as if he would eat him. The cool impu
dence of the whole thing drove him half mad,
and he could only point toward the forecastle.
“ ‘I’ll go below if yon wish it,’ said Will,
Milly, don’t speak a word nntil we ran into
port, then I will explain. I
‘Crash! A squall was on us. The sticks
earns rattling down about our ears, and a great
eea swept tbe deck. Every man, even the
lookout, bad been so busy watching the moss
that they dul not see the sqnall creeping np,
and it took ns by surprise. The old man
grabbed a life line and roared to the man at
tbe wheel to let her go before the wind, and
we righted, coining np out of the foam witb
clean swept decks. Bnt as we looked, neither
Will Seaford nor Milly were anywhere to be
seen. The terrible sea which bad come
aboard had swept them away, and we lay in
boiling water, making little way, with the
weight of the top hamper hanging over the
mizzen sail.
* Captain Yenner was a man and a sailor
and bis first thought was to cut away the drag-
Then, for nearly an hoar, wo ran before the
sqnall, when it ceased as suddenly as it had
begun, and we had beaten np towards tbe spot
where Will Seaford and Milly were lost. All
night long we cruised about, sounding a fog
horn, firing guns and then writing fer the
hail which we hoped might come. Morning
came and found ue near the place where the
sea was covered with the stuff from the deck.
The captain came to me with a glass in hie
hand.
‘Dave,’he said, hia rough lips quivering,
* go aloft and look. If they are gone I shall
never forgive myself, for had I been attending
to my duty this conld never have happened.’
* I took the glass and ran np into the fore
top. Three times I changep the elevation of
tbe glass, and swept the eea. An I began the
fourth round I saw a black spot tossing on the
waves, four or five miles away, just off the lee
bow, and hailed the deck. The order was
given and we beaded for the black spot.—
Nearer and nearer we came, and I conld see
that it was one of the spare topmasts which we
kept stowed on deck, with something on it.
Nearer yet! At least one human being was
dinging to that spar, and as I looked a band
was lifted and wared In the air. On we went.
The ship seemed to creep, and yet she was
going ten knots. Ten minntes lator wo back
ed oar topsails and a boat went down from the
davits, and what a cheer went np when Will
Seaford and Milly Yenner were found clinging
to the spar. He had lashed her firmly to it
with a rope which he grasped as he went over
board after her, and all through tbat weary
night he had cheered her with words of com
fort, until be saw the Arethosa bearing down
under sail.
‘ Milly was sent to her berth, bat he was
none the worse for it. That night ho had a
long talk with the old man in the cabin, and
tbe captain came on deck with him next morn
ing and piped all hands to master.
‘‘My men,* he said, ‘I have to introduce
te yon Mr. Willis Seaton, the son of the owner
of this craft, who has shipped himself nndor
false colors. Yonr messmate, Will Seaford, is
no more.’
How we cheered him, and what a time of
shaking hands we had. He had shipped for
the love of adventure, and by doing it had
found his fortune. Of coarse be married Miiiy,
for wbat was sheer impudence in a foremast
Jack was very gratifying in Willis Seaton—the
son of the richest man in New Bedford. He’d
have given me a ship long ago, only I ain't
fool enough to take it. Eight bells! Time
to turn in.’
“ Spoiled Oysters.”
• Hafe yon got some of dot kind of oysters
fwhat hafe been spiled t’ ‘ Spiled oysters t—
Yes, we have a few cans left over from last
week tbat I think will fit yon.’ * How yon solt
’em a dozen t’ ‘ O, I'll sell ’em right; yon
may have all you want for a nickel.’ ‘ Veil
den, mine goot friend, vill you be so kind to
pring me four dozen fon dot damaget lot T’—
The oysters were brought, and tbe customer
put them quietly down into tbe pit of his
stomach, and, having finished tbe job. be said
to the restanrantenr: ‘Now, my very kind
front, yon have got some good oysters, ain’t
it V • You're mighty right I have.’ ‘ Yell, I
takes a half a dozen raw and some pickles.’—
These were in tarn served and qnickly pat
down on top of those gone before. Bat the
restaurateur was troubled, and when tbe pa
tron came to settle tbe bill, said to him:—
• Look here, pard, I don’t like to be too in
quisitive, bat blowed ef I wouldn’t like ter
know why yoa have took a fancy to so many
piled oysters and so few good onest' * Yell,’
replied tbe man, ‘ you have peen a goot friend
to me, aud so I told you something. You see.
vas dis way. Now, I have got a tape-worm,
my kint friend, you understandt; and efry
time dot is de way. I hafe to do. Yon see, dot
last half a dozen dem vas for me mineself; but
dot damaged lot, dem was for de tape-worm.
You know dot I ain't dot kind offs Commodore
Vanterpflt fwhat I can afford it to preak np
mine whole peesness to feed a tarn tape-worm
on goot oysters.’—John Glades' Scrap-book.
Questions for Debating Societies.
If the traveler who took the coarse ef hu
man events baa ever been heard dfsiace T
If brass will make a candle stick, what will
make one let loose t
Where does a candle go to, when it gooa
ont?
If the hollow of a log can he heard f
If tin will make a can what will make a
can’t f
If twelve inches make a foot, bow many
will make a leg t ,.
If five and a half yards make one pole, hew
many will it take to make a log T
Do potatoes ever wear ont, aa we often hear
of potato patches?
If pig pens will do to write with f
Will tbe Capo of Good Hope fit a woman 1
Wayside Gatherings.
Which times are the beet 1—Meal times.
..One bad thing about gold—Not baviog it.
..Domestic broils make very unsatisfactory
meals.
..A set of bad teeth, like a form, has many
achers.
..* Arose’ by any other name would be ’ got
np.’
..One way to get a roaring trade is to bay
a menagerie.
.The beat way to rise in a lady’s estimation
fo not by stares.
..What is better than a promising young
man? A paying one.
..A cannot expect half a loti when bo
loafo all the time.
..When is money dampt When it Is dew in
the morning and mist at night.
..The band played ‘ Little Brown Jag’ at
tbe prohibitory ratification meeting In Worces
ter.
..Short dresses are coming into
again, and young ladies are experiencing the
old, old difficulty of getting a No. 6 foot into a
png wreck and save all the Uvea he coaid. I York.
— uTB *s»- ^ •. -JiiOUGJftl.;
No 4 shoe. .
.A Jersey City lawyer was making a high-
flown speech the other day, telling about aa-fc^||
gels’ tears, weeping willows and tombstones,
when his Honor said, ‘Confine yoar re u ~
to the dog-fight.’
..Priestiae is one-fourth the s