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BY JOHN H. CHRISTY. DEVOTED TO NEWS, POLITICS, AGRICULTURE, EDUCATION AND GENERAL PROGRESS. $2.00 per Annum, in advance. VOLUME XXII. ATHENS, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 14, 1875. NUMBER 1. THE SOUTHERN WATCHMAN PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY. Djjirt corner of Itrocut and Wall Street*, (tep-elulrt.) TERMS. TWO DOLLARS PER ANNUM, invariably in advance. advertising . \ lven’nomentf will beinaerted at ONE DOLLAR ts’l) FIFTY CENTS peraquare fur tbe firatinaer- ion, and SEVENTY-FIVE CENTS per square for taoh'eontiuuanoo, for any time under one montb. For longer periods, a liberaldeduetion will be made. ' ^ V i literal deduction nn yearly advertisements. LEGAL ADVERTISING . ^'.end'* **les, perlcvy of 10 lines $500 .. mortgage sales, 00 days.—................. 5.00 Sile<. lays, by Administrator*. Kxoeutors, or ilaardiana Olialion* of Administration orlluardianship...:.. 4.00 N'Jtiee to Debtor, and Creditors 5.00 Holei Nisi, per square, each insertion 1.50 Leave to soil Heal Estate 4.00 Citation for dismission of Administrator 5.00 .. <s “ Guardian 5.25 T i ascertain tbo number of squares in an advertise ment <.r obituary, count the word,—ooebundrod being ujiial to ton lines. Allfraetions are counted as fall FALL ANDWINTER STOCK OF Millinery AND FANCY GOODS. MRS. T. A. ADAMS A NN0UNCES to the public that *he is now reeoiv- •Ia. ing a Urge and varied stock of Ladies' Bonnets, Uats Laces, Ribbons, Trimmings, Ac., which she is offering*! low prices. Call.examine and be convinced. Next door to Bank nf the University, Ath« ns. sepoO ^roftssioiral anb ^nsmcssfote. u m oiii. | a. »• tawiw. | nowsucoss.j, .MIII1U, ERWIN k COBB, l 7 ATTORNEYS AT LAW. A TO ESS, GEORGIA. oillea in tbe Deupree Building. D»rD A. A .. EDGE, llOOT. SHOE AND nARNESS MAKER, Watkiukvii-lk, Ga. B ANKRUPTCY.—8omuel P. Thurmond, Attornoy-at-Law. Athens, Oa O&reon Ilrnad etreet,oeer Ike ttoec of Barry A .Vow, w’ ill jive special attention to cases in Bankruptcy. Al- ,o. to the collection of all claims entrusted to his care. LMIURY SPEER, , Cj LAWYER, ATUEN8, OA. kt Solicitor General of Western Circuit, will attend ,t„ Court, of Clarke, Walton. Gwinnett, Hall, Banks, .1 ackeon. Uab.rahem, Franklin, Rabun and White, »nd give attention to collecting and other claim, in those counties. March 19, 1873. E. A. WILLIAMSON, Practical VatiMcr aid Jeweler. A T Dr. King's Drug Store, Broad Street, will exe cute all work entrusted to him in the best style and at reasonable prices. Terms positively CASH. feb4 DR. WHITTIER: No. 617 St. CfcailM Street, St. Louis, Ho., 2*525S *° **mi of itseeln to Barring*. blood !2tuS2SL* ?eiy . which remit* fro* loauemioo or mprudcooo. with aoponUolod secern. Dr. W.o MtahUshatot to charter* bythtlUato Rti.' 1, 'if 4 .?** “** ““'•U.lwd u liar. I>f *. fvtala mad reliable relief. Being » mduu at mtot^ modloal ealfegac, and karle r «r « )«>oc >ad successfulIff# la hla gpeciaUtoe ho fcaa perfected remodtoo that are(effectual la all thoae cases. Hit pat toe la **■ «***••• «v*ry where. Jlo nattrr who failed, call or wrlle. Fro* tho treat bib. MARRIAGE GUIDE, S5f W K.*S’. r .Si * hkl ‘ 5* "<■> to ev.ry. wt-jy. No married pair, or pora*»aa contemplating mar- rla«o. «u afford to do wHho.t'n. It cootaloa the e£«of Rvetltoal Hierater* oa thla subject, tho reoolta of Dr W ‘a lh Ssroyo in Amsrtos. Seat eealcdTpe^-pald for&Octo. Reject ffiliscrilanp. I J'OR use on any Sewing Machine, is “CLARK'S 0. X. T.,“ especially that made for and hearing the name of tbo Singer Manufacturing Co. A word to the wise should ha sufficient, j&f* Price, 75c. pci dozen Spools, at the office of the SIXGEH MANU FACTURING CO. G. H. HOPE, Agent, julyl—ly Bishop's Corner, Athens, Ga. ITMiWARD R. HARDEN, Fj (Late Judge U. S. Courts Nebraska and Utah, aud now Judge of Brooke County Court) Attorney at Law, july23 ly (/Ntfmaft, Brooks County, Ga. Wagon Yard in Athens. 'T'HE subscriber has fitted upend opened a safe, cum A fortnble and commodious Wagon Yard, on Rivet street, in theneigbborhood of tbe Upper Bridge, where CORN, FODDER, and nil other necessary snppllescau be purchased on reasonable terms. Cbargesmoderate. The highest market price paid for Country Produce, and Bank bills reesiyed in sxehange for Goods. JulyT- tf WILEY F. HOOD MADISON BKLL. PASTES k BELL, Attorneys at Law, Ili GAINESVILLE, GA. yff-WILL praetiee in tbo eountias composing the Wctiero Circuit, and Dawson and Forsyth counties of the Blue Ridge Cironlt. They will also practice in lb. Supreme Court of Georgia, and in the United State? Fnun st Atlanta. - may!4 pLOYD k S1LMAN, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Willpractioe in the counties of Walton and Jackson, os, j.ri.0Tn, j. B. SILMAN. Cu.iuglon, Ga. mart Jefferson, Ga. T F. O’KELLEY’S J . PHOTOGRAPH GALLERY, Over Williams’Shoa store. Broad street, Athens, Osargis. *ep5. T H. HUGGINS, if • holeaalc and U«Uil Dealer in D1U* GOODS. GROCERIES, HARDWARE, Ao. »bK» Broad Street, Athena, Ga. H. CHRISTY, Plain and Fancy BOOK AND JOB PRINTER, Broad St., Atben*, Ga. oSce corner Broad and Wall itreetf, over the*tore Jacius D. Pittard. tf THE GREAT REMEDY FOB Bids, Scalds, Com, Poison Oak, Stiop of Inerts anJ Cutaneous Inflrunmatipus Ctnemlly, DISCOVERED BY MRS. L E. DISH, JUG TAVERN, WALTON CO., GA., Y\JAS entered against the World, at the late Stat * V Fair at Macon, and i*daily effecting THE MOST WONDERFUL CURES, aud baa become an indis pensable h luschold necessity. No family should bo ithout it! If, after trial, a family if willing to live without tbi preparation for Ten Dollari, agonts aro authorized to refund the money. FOR SALE, In Athons—At Dr Win King's Drug Store and at the Store of Judge J D Pittard. In WatkinsviUe—At the Store of Booth A Durham. In Monroe—At Dr Galloway's Drug Store. At Princeton—By Mr Rusftll. Address all orders to WILEY II. BUSH, nov!9 Jug Tavern, Walton co., Ga. TAMES Ra LYLE, el At Attoiixxt at Law, W.lTKl.XSVII.LE. GA. TORN M. MATTHEWS. eJ Attorn sr at Law, Danielsviile.Ga. Prompt ittention will he given to any business en- *ust«sl to his care. Marchl4 i amesT, lono7m7dT ” U SURGEON, ACCOUCHbuR A PHYSICIAN, (Office at He. Thomas Skeate' Store,) UuoJ Hope District, Walton county, Ga. Oiler, his professional serrices to the eilitens of tbe tariuuuJing country. »ug27 K ELIAS, Attorney at Law, . FRANKLIN, N. C. Practices in all the Courts of Westorn North Caro lio*. aid in the Federal Courts. Claims oolloeted in part* of the State. *pl6i—ly T 1VERY, Feed and Sale Stable, -l-i ATHENS, GA. G.4.V.V Jt BKA TICS, Proprietort. vU-Will be found at their old stand, rear Frank lia Uuass building, Thomas street. Keep always on band good Toro-out* aud careful drivers. Stock well cared for when entrusted to our care. Stock -»d hand for sale at all times. decJe— tf M W. RIDEN, . ATTORNEY AT LAW, U.8. Claim Agent and Notary Public, 0AIMBBTH.LE, Ga Offic. on Wilsoa stroet, b.low King A Bro’s. February lil, 18JS. c - e*trt.at. a. r. Dowell. PEEPLES A HOWELL, x ATTORNEYS AT LAW, 20 and 22, Kimball House, Atlanta, Ga* 9 UKaCTICR in the Stateaud Federal Courts, aud * attend regularly all the Courts in Atlanta, includ es tbs Supreme Court of tho State, aud will argue t»iu upon briefs for absent parties, on reasonable Uruti. .They *1,0 practice in the Courts of the eountfescon- ’‘fuou# or aeoessible to Atlanta by Railroad, sepll R B. ADAIR, D. D. 8. • Gaineayillb, Ga. * «outheast comer Public 89nan R S. ADAMS, X. D„ , »• k oeoeom, Arconcnann and Pmy»iciam. omes st roiil.uo., Mountain District, Walton coun r. Georgia—off.rs bis profMsional ».r»ic.s to tb. "• een, of tbs surrounding country. augM—ly “COME TO ME, IiARLINO.” Come to me, darling. I’m lonely without thee; Day-time and night-time I’m dreaming about thee, Night-time and day-time in dreams I behold thee— Unwelcome tho waking that ceases to fold tbee. You have been glad when you knew I was glad dened. Dear, aro you sad to hear that I am saddened f Our hearts ever answer in tune and in time. Love, As octavo to octave, or rhyme unto rhyme, Love; I cannotsmilebut your cheeks will bo glowing, You will not linger when I shall have died, Love, And I could not live without you at my aide, Lovo. Como to me, darling, oro I die of my sorrow ; Rise on my gloom liko tho sun of to-morrow— Strong, swilt and strong, as the words which 1 speak. Love, With a song on your lips, aud a smile on your cheek, Love. Come, for my heart iu your absence is dreary ; Haste lor iny spirit is sickeued aud weary ; Come to ihu arms which aioue shall caress thee— Come to to tho heart which is throbbing to press thee. Come to me, darling, ray sorrow to lighten; Como iu thy beauty, to bless aud to brighten : Come in tby wumauhood, meekly and lowly ; Como in thy lovinguoss, queenly and holy. Swallows shall Hit round the desolate ruin, Tciliug of Spring and its joyous rouewing ; Aud thoughts of my love aud its manifest treasure And circling my heart with the promise of pleasure. Oh ! Spring of my spirit, oh! May of my bo som. Shine out ou my soul till it burgeon aud bios som; Tho waste of my life has a rose root withiu it, And thy fondness alone lo tbe sunlight cun win it. Figure w hich moves liko a song through the even, Features lit up with a reflex of heaven, Eyes like the skies of poor Erin, our mother, Where sunshine and shadows are chasing each other; Smiles coming seldom, but childlike aud sim pie, And opening their eyes from the heart of a dimple; Oh ! thanks to tho Saviour that even the seem ing Is left to the exile to brighteu his dreaming. Use the Great uii (El For all Diieiscs of the Bowels, such ns CHOLERA, DYSENTERY, J>inrr*lior*Ji, Colic?, PAINS IN BACK, SIDE & JOINTS, Toothache and Neuralgia. The Proprietors,in putting this GREAT REMEDY before the public, do *0 with tbo firm belief that it will cure all the above diseases it i* recommended to cure. All we ask is a fair trial. If this .MEDICIXK does not perform what we claim for it after a fair trial, according to tho directions, then Return it anti net jeer Stay. Prepared and put up by J. E. HOSS, a« DK. W. E. D. THOMPSON’S, 285 Kilt Fair etreet, ATLANTA, GA. tfc-AND FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS.^: PRICE, 50 CENTS. July Sth, 1874. Tbe anderaigncil is now prepared to furnish MONUMENTS, FTTH A T~> STONES Or anything in tbo Marble or IRON-RAILING line, at abort notice. I have quite a number of NEW DESIGNS or Patterns, which can he seen by apply ing to Nov30—tf J. R. CRANE, R CL DOBBS, S, WhoU.ai, and Retail Dealer la “W* * od F * n «y DRY GOODS, GROCERIES, Ac. No. II Broad Street, Atbena, Ga. P>LAL\ and Fancy Job Printing, At the Southern Watel Watchman Office. SPOOL SILK! QET THE BEST and CHEAPEST! Gat that men * r *etutedey tb. Siugar Manufacturing Company, 1 *« J«b , r , * l 'y * d * ! ’ t * d tor *** 00 kind* of S.» • whole,.1. end retell, by tbe SINGER ^IFACTURINO COMPANY. '"“-ly G. II. HOPE, Agent, Athene, Ga. P G. THOMPSON, ~ ATTORNEY AT LAW, ATHENS, GA. y rriCE over Barry(tore. Special attention given G»» praetiee. For reference, apply to Bx- r.*,. .H. Watt, and Hoa. David Clopton, Meat £*"7, Al.bami. f.bS globe hotel, f. AUGUSTA, GA. witer 0/ Broad and Jackson streets. 1 Betel baa jaet been referstebed and .Mi., ”’ w,, “ all the modern laprovement* and con- 4a ‘eotber with tbe addition ef a new veren- taii„ ,f ,k * «*»t eomplete Hotel* in tbe HORSES & MULES. T HE nndenigned have eitabliibed, in addition to their Livery, a regular SALE STABLE, And will, from tbie date, keep on bxsu, at ell time., a foil iupply of HORSES & MULES. Tboic in went o Stock cen be (applied et {'Reasonable Figures. juhln^NoV.t-tf' GANN k REAVES Family Groceries. r. rTsaulter C ALLS tbe attention of bia frlanda and the “zee mankind” to the feet that he will keep on hand a freab aaaortment of Family Supplies, With a fine quality of COOKING WINE, Either in bottl.a or on draught. Alao, tbo beat of BRANDIES, WHISKIES, RUM Gin, Ale, Lager Beer, CIGARS & TOBACCO jar- Country dealera anppiiad et low figure?, at HOLBROOK’S CORNER, JanS Near N or t heel tern Depot, Athena, Gn. P. MAY, Proprietor. u^jcketsl Brackets! ||S 8k»i.*'*!!■ y*** Peekett, Bouk-akulve* Cloak I *•. Matok-Sefaa, HangingBaa- »*TM for tala at BUBER'S BOOK 6X0RB. MARTIN INSTITUTE. Jefferson, Ga., T HB Spring Term of tbl. InWtation will open MondeyTjen. 25th, 1875, withe fuUeorp, of teaebera. de*2S J. W. GLENN, Prineipel, LEGAL BLANKS, FULL iupply el way, on orrIox . A Strange Story. Some years ago there lived in Virginia beautiful and accomplished young lady—a member of one of the oldest and best families in that State. She was tho reigning hello in the society in which she moved. Iu tho courso of timo sho married a young lawyer of the high est respectability, both as regards talents aud family connections. In due timo they had son born to them. They were very happy. The lawyer, in the course of his business operations, became in some way or another en tangled in a quarrel with a brother lawyer. A duel was the result. In the contest tho hns baud was killed. The wife became ittcousola ble. A severe fit of sickness followed. When she recovered, the only thing to lavish tho whole affections of her heart upon was herson Her entire attention was given to him. After a year or two she was surrounded by an immense number of admirers, and several made proposals of marriage. Sho declined them all. Her heart was true to her first and only lovo. At last, many of her admirers im portuned her to marry them—offering her for tune. station, everything that would be likely to win a woman’s heart—but ail of no avail. Sho replied to them that sho could not give them her hand without her affection; her heart was with tbo buried dead. The window fouud these approaches were made to her so often aud so earnestly that she withdrew herself foorn society as the only meaus of obtaining anything like quietness; hut even then letters would annoy her. So she determined 10 get out of tbe way of society entirely and seclude herself in some retired spot, she did not care where she went if she could only obtain quietness and enjoy tbe pieasuro of training and cultivating her boy’s mind and have his exclusive society. He was noble little fellow. Well, after looking about for a place where absolute seclusion could be obtained and be un known, aud the climate would be congenial, she determined upon Florida. So she removed to a retired spot about a mile or two from Oca la, where sbo found a small hut already built anil suited to hor requirements. Sho pur cha6ed it and there lived for some time, when unhappily, hor boy was taken sick and died, and was buried near her bouse. She planted an acorn near by, that was found after death in his pocket. It has now grown to be a large tree. Alone in tbe world, without a single soul to converse with, she fretted nnd pined her life away, her only consolation being in her com munions with her Maker. She prayed for peace and obtained it. She had no domestic servant to wait upon her, but cooked her own meals, etc. Occasionally she would see persons approach her little home, and not wishing to be seen wonld retire to n small cave near by, where she could watch the movements of strangers until they wore gone, when she would come oat and take possession of her shanty. One day she walked into Ocala for the pur pose of obtaibing some medicioe at the drug store. She was closely hooded and disguised. There was a gentleman in tbe town, however, whom she recognized as an old snitor. She immediately left, and was lost to sight quick ly. Tbe gentleman saw the eyes ; be thought he knew them—their influence in the past, hud kept him awake many a night. He was at first staggered with tbe thought that it might be her—indeed, he was almost para lyzed, for be was still single, and remained so for her sake. When he recovered his senses sufficiently to know wbat he was about, he turned iDto tbe street to look for her; bat she was gone, and no one coaid tell him any thing about ber, or in what direction sbe bad gone. He searched tbe country all around bat his efforts were fruitless. At last he had to give op tbe pursuit. He was very unhappy. Well, the lady lived for many years after ward, still staying at the same place. At last sbe found that ber health was giving way that the hardships sbe bad to undergo—living la so wild nnd rude n condition—necessitated ber making a confidant of somebody, so as to obtain help. Sho called in the assistance of an honest, quiet, colored woman—Aunt Polly Fudge—who helped ber to some comforts and did chores for her. At last sbe became sick and confined to ber bed. Polly faithfully nursed her, and at length tbe lady died. Sbo told Polly her history, suppressing her real name, and told her to get her buried iu the gravp besido ber darling boy, nnder tho oak tree that she bad planted near the cave, and that she was to be buried iu her wedding dress—a beautiful white satin one—and on ber head the wreath that she wore on the oc casion of her marriage. Faithful Polly at tended to matters as sho was told, and Mrs. Neville, for that was the name the lady call ed herself, gave to Polly all her money, which was $400, and old clothes. So rests within a mile or two of Ocala in one of the hammocks, tbe last mortal remains of tho poor, broken hearted widow. Tbe rela tives and friends will never know her end or her burial-place. Awhile After Marriage. * For better for worse, for richer for poorer, iu sickness aud in health, till death us do part.’ The solemn vow has been spoken, and Edwin and Angelina, amid tears aud smiles, and kiss- 63 aud blessings, go away alono together, no longer two, • but one flesh.’ Both are youug, good-looking, loviug aud light-hearted; both look forward to a life full of tender affection and bright happiness. How will that hope be realized t Do we not all know the result t In niuo cases out of tou a couple of years will not have passed before Edwin is grumbling aud cross because tbe meat was overdone at din ner, while Angelina, lying on the sofa with a novel, or sitting by tho fire with ber needle work, sighs over tho monotony of her life, and looks back on her girlish visions of marriage as a dream of the past. The former lovers snap and snarl at one another, their house is dull and dreary, Edwin has become cynical about marriage aud wrapped up iu professional duties; Augelina is discontent aud languid And yet Edwin aud Angelina bavo married for love, not money, or position, or pique, or any of the hundred and one motives which often makes people take their tremendous ‘leap through tho ring,’ and, as the world goes, they have not drawn blanks in tbo lottery. Edwin has not found himself tied to an ill-tempered scold, nor has Angelina awakened to the knowledge that her husband is a coarse, vio lent brute. Only, they are both disappointed. Doubtless they still love each other, but it is with a prosaic, common-place affection, which brings no gleams of color into tbo dull gray of their daily life. Now, is this disenchantment a necessity f Is it sentimental to expect mar ried life to be something more than a dreary routine ; and if it is not so, why is it we most of us fail to And it otherwise f If wo look around us at tho homes of professional men, wo must own that, in most instances, we find tho household stupidly managed and tristo ; the drawing-rooms all alike, tolerably comfort able but tasteless; the dinners badly cooked and wasteful, aud the husbands and wives os tho terms so often heard and described by French people, * Ce son dos Anglais—do you not see how rude tho geutleman is t he never speaks to his wife !’ Now, it is in the power of women to alter this stato of things; and every woman with a heart and a brain will take soino trouble to keep her husband her lover. An Engaging Manner. Politeness is to a man what beauty is to a woman. It creates an instantaneous impres sion in bis behalf, while tho opposite quality exercises as quick a prejudice against him.— The politician who has this advantage, easily distances his rival candidates, for every voter lie speaks with becomes instantly his friend. Tho very tones iu which he asked for a pinch of snuff are often more potent than the logic of a Clay. Polished manners have often made scoundrels successful, while tbe best of men, by their hardness aud coldness, have done tbomselves incalculable injury—the shell being so rough that tbe world could not believe there was a precious kernel within. Had Raleigh never flung down his cloak in the mud for the proud Elizabeth to walk on, bis career iu life would scarcely have boon worth recording.— Scores of men bavo been successful in life by pleasing mannors only. A trait of character is well worth cultivating. Lads, never forget the value of true civility. Hon Lithography was Discovered. After tbe first triumphant performance of Mo zart’s opera * Don Juan’ at Munich, tbe thea ter was deserted by all except one man. Alois Scnnefelder bad still much to do. After see ing carefully aronnd tbe stage, that no sparks bad ignited about the theater, he retired to bis little room to etamp the theater tickets for tbe following day. As be entered the room be bad three things in bis band—a pol- ished whetstone for razors, which be bad pur ebased, a ticket stamp moistened with print ere* ink, and a check on tbe theater treasury for bis weekly pay. Ho placed tbe check on a table, when gust of wind took it, swept it high up in bis room for a moment, and then deposited it in a basin filled with water. Sennefelder took tbe wet paper, dried it as well as be could, aud then, to make sure of it weighted It down with tbe whetstone, on which be bad before carelessly placed tbe printing etamp. Re turning to his room on tbe following morn ing, be was surprised to see tbe letters of the stamp printed with remarkable accuracy upon tbe damp paper. He gazed along at tbe check; a sudden thought flashed through bis brain, be wondered if by some such meant he could save himself tbe weary trouble be con tinually bad copying the songs of the chorus. That very morning he went out and purchas ed a larger stone, aud commenced to make experiments, and, as we all know, finally sue ceeded in discovering tbe art of printing from stones—lithography. .. A young man wrote to one of those hum bugs in tbo east that advertise: * How to make money, easy, rapidly and honest/ and received tbe following reply : First, borrow $100,000 on ten years time, at ten per cent, year, and then loan it out at 4 per cent, montb, get yourself appointed chairman of Grasshopper Aid Committee aud you have got a euro thing on it. BROWN EYES. Brown eyes, with flashing gleams of light, And beaming face and sunny hair ; Brown eyes come meet my gaze to-night, And say, am I reflected there f No more, this furtive, side-long glance, This timid droop, or far-off look, This mischievously shy askance ; A riddle or a half-closed book. Were easier to read or guess, Brown eyes, at last you must reveal, If heart has nothing to confess, Why do the eyes so much conceal T Ah, treacherous, naughty, cruel eyes, That seem so kind, yet will not say Tbo little word upon which lies My happiness. Well! have your way. Good-bye, brown eyes, good-bye, Still drooping—then tbe past is past, What tears f Dear eyes I kiss them dry— Those blessed tears’told all at last. THE TWO HANDS. A large brown hand by labor stained Four snowy fingers prest, As though a swarthy Cyclop3 strained A wbito maid to his breast. And foudiy did that brown hand hold Those fingers white as snow, As though it were a link of gold That would not let thorn go. Time passes on; Tbo two bands clasp Another newly given; As though they’d found an angel's grasp To draw them up to heaven. Once more the brown band and the white Are linked. So cold! so fast !— As though true loving hearts unite More closely at tbo last. A Sold Insurance Man. Printers are naturally * in’ for a joke. They aro proverbially fond of tuo ; but to look at them you wouldn't think it. Here is a good joke a ‘ printer-man’ played on bis fellow-lodg or in Pottsville: A certain insurance man in town, wbo boards at tbe Bamo hotel with one of the night com positors of tbe Journal, in order to save tbo subscription price to a newspaper, entered in to an arrangement with tbe printer to get tbe news as soon as he got up. The printer was to write out a brief sketch of all tbe news and stick the paper under the iusurarance man’s door. A fow mornings since tbe latter got up and dressed himself, exceptiug one boot and stocking and his coat, when he espied tho pa- por under bis door. He picked it up and read as follows: * Graut assassinated. Country iu au uproar. Mrs. Sartoris aud Mrs. Grant carried off’ by masked kidnappers while insen siblo. A member of tbe Cabinet supposed to be tho assassin. $100,000 reward offered by Congress.’ Without completing hie toilet, be rushed out of the room and waked up several boarders, told them of the great news, and scared them out of their wits. Wo leave our readers to conjecture, if they can, the disgust of the whole party when t joy found how they bad boon sold. The insurance man has sworu subscribe to a daily paper. Ou the Wrong lay. A certain Lincoln county huckster, who deals principally in butter and poultry, inva riably asks a little more for these luxuries than any of bis neighbors. Wbon asked his reason for so doing, be always replies after this fashion : Well, sir, that's an extra quality of but ter. It was made by my wife's aunt, sir—one of tbe bost bouso keepers in tbo Stato. Those chickens are a superior article, sir. They were raised by wife’s aunt, sir, and wbat sbe doesn’t know about raising chickens ain't worth knowing.’ This peculiarity has boen remarked by bis customers, and they are iu the habit of com menting ou it quite freely behind bis back. Tbo other day a very solemn lookiug individ ual entered the storo, and walking up to a basket of eggs, inquired; * What do you ask for eggs t’ ‘ Fifteen cents a dozen,’ was the blaud re ply. * Fifteen cents !’ oxclaimed the melancholy customer. ‘ Why, I can buy them anywhere at ton—but maybe your wife's aunt laid these eggs t’ Tho owner of the hen-fruit buug his bead, looked thoughtful a moment, aud replied: * Take ’om along at tea!”—Express. Stonewall Jackson. Gov.Kemper, of Virginia, has communicated to the legislature of that State information conveyed by a letter from Hon. Mr. Hope, member of tbe British parliament for tbe Uni versity of Cambridge, that a bronze statno of heroic size of Stonewall Jackson, designed and executed by tbe late J. H. Foley, R. A., was offered as a tribute of English admiration and sympathy for the acceptance of the Common wealth. Gov. Kemper says: The statue is represented by competent judges to be a most imposing and beautiful work of art. It was procared through sub scription spontaneously organized among friends of Virginia in the mother country who admire tbe character and love the memory of our dead hero. It remains for tbe State to accept this splendid gift, and to guarantee its erection on some conspicuous site within tbe capitol grounds. It revives ne animosities of tbe past, it woends the sensibilities of no good man of whatever party or section, to honor and revere tbe memory ef Jackson. All tbe world knows that tbo earth beneath which bis body lies covers the ashes of a patriot and hero, whose greatness shed lustre oa the age in which be lived. His example belongs to mankind, and hie deeds and virtues will be cherished by all the coming generations of tbe great American republic as among tbe proud est memorial of a common glory." A Capital Plea. Blobbs had been drinking a little probably, at ‘ Lincoln’s Inn” or * Temple Bar,’ but be was sober onough to say a good thing, and be said it. He said : * Gentlemen, wben I practiced law I made tbebest plea in behalf of a client that ever was made in any Court Hoase in this State, and it was this; When my case was called I arose and said : May it please your Honor, the Constitution of the United States and tbe Constitution of the State of Georgia both guarantee a hearing to every citizen charged with an offense against tbo laws. Now, may it please your Honor, my client is as deaf as a post, and, I most respectfully submit, cannot bavo a bearing! I, therefore, ask to have tbe case against him dismissed. And would you believe it, gentlemen,’ added Blobbs, * the darned fool of a Judge overruled tbat pleat Weli, be did!’ And those wbo saw tbe joke, after ponder ing over it, smiled gently and went tbeir sov eral ways. Wires. Wbat tbn true man wants with a wife is ber companionship, sympathy, and love. Tbe way of life has many dreary places in it, and man needs a companion to go with him. A man is sometimes overtaken by misfortunes ; be meets with failure or defeat; trials and temptations beset him, and bo needs one to stand by and sympathise. He has some bard battles to fight with povorty, enemies and witb sin; and be needs a woman that wbeu be puts bis arms around ber, be ftels tbat ho has something to fight for; sbe will help him to fight; tbat will put her lips to bis ear and whispor words of counsel, and her baud to Uis heart, and impart inspiration. All through life, through storm and through sunshine, con flict and victory, through adverse and favor ing winds, man needs a woman's love. The heart yearns for it. A sister's or a mother's love will hardly supply the need. ..’Jane, what lettor in the alphabet do you liko best V * Well, I don’t like to say, Mr. Snobbs.’ * Pooh! nonsense! tell right out,Jane. Which do you like best t' ‘ Well,’ (blusbiug and dropping hor oyos,) * I liko (a) the best.’ ..'Julius, why didn’t yea oblong your stay at tho springs V • Kase, Mr. Suow, dev chargo too raueh.’ • How so, Julius V ‘ Why, de landlord charge dis colored indi viduai wid stealing do spoons.' ..‘Go away! Leave mo with ray dead Let me fling myself on his coffin and die there!’ Tbat was in Nebraska six months ago, and now the widow has won another trusting soul, and number one's portrait is in tbo attic, face to the wall.—Detroit Free Press. . .A boarding bouso lady complained that sbe bad broken a knife in trying to cut tbo butter, and attributed it to tho extreme cold woather. One of the boarders modestly sug gested that it might lie on account of the strength of the butter itself. The strength of the remark had a weakening effect on the after conversation. Studying Geography. While a newsboy was hanging around one of the depots yesterday a gentleman engaged him in a conversation and inquired : ‘ Do you go to school, bub t’ ‘ Yes, sir, and I’m in geography,’ was the answer. ‘ Ah ba ! Whore doos the sun rise t’ ‘ In the east.' ‘ Correct. Where does it set t * In tho west.’ * Right. What is the earth’s surface com posed of t' * Land and wator.’ * Right again. Is the world round or flat f * Let’s see,’ mused the boy, sitting down ou a bench. * Well, l know dad and mam had a fight about tbat very thing, but I forgot wbtcb licked.’ ..The Americau traveler iu England can scarcely have failed to notice tbe embellish ment of railway stations along the road by flower-beds and pretty littlo gardens. These cultivated areas are commonly the unused land lying along each side ot the track at the entrance to the station. Occasionally there is a somewhat fantastic taste exhibited by tbe station-master; but a few freaks of design may well be pardoned in view of the healthful am bition that led to them. These garden-spot* become matters of pride aod zeal witb tbe sta tion masters; they employ what would other wise be idlo hours; and hence they are not only a charm to the traveler, but a means of agreeable change to the otherwise monotonous duties of the railway officials. We should be glad to see in America as prevalent a taste for flower culture as oae finds almost everywhere in England. Boys Will be Boys. So thought the occupants of a Boston horse car, who listened to the story of a mischievous youug lad, who was telling au old geutleman wby he liked tbe new master of our schools. The master, he said, was a first-rate fellow, and then be bad dismissed tbe scholars twice lately at 9:30 o’oloek in the morning. ' Wby, what did he do that for V asked the elderly gentleman. After the youth had a good langb, he managed to explain tbat one of the boys bad a piece of ice under tbe thermometer, and sent tbe mercury down to forty, and the mas ter thought the room was not warm enough for tbe pupils to remain in. And tbe way tbe old gentleman laughed and ebook teld plainly enough that he bad once been one of that kind of boys. IT* The amended regulations for tbe re demptlon of mutilated currency go into offect on tbe first day of May. Deductions will be made in proportion to the missing part. In tbe case of legal tender notes, if less than one-tenth of the original note is missing, the mutilation will be disregarded ; if one-tentb Is missing, one-tenth of its value will be de ducted ; if more than one-tentb and less than one-fifth is miming, one-five of its valne will be deducted, and so on, reckoning by tenths. Bnt no note of which leas thag ,one-balf of the original la presented will be redeemed without evidence tbat tbe miming portion is totally destroyed. The same rule will be ap plied to mutilated fractional currency, with tbe substitution of one-fifth for one-tentb. ..One of tbe most fervent of tbe praying temperance men in Dnbuqne, Iowa, has drunken husband. It is related tbatebe found him a few nights ago intoxicated in a saloon, Sho ouffed him soundly, and then said to the proprietor, ‘ See hero, you darned miserable skunk, this has gone far eueugh. During the crusade I prayed for you, and since then have come to you with tears in my eyes, bat it seems to have done no good, and now if you ever sell him another drop of whiskey I’ll come down here and snatch yon baldheaded quloker than bell can singe a cat. Yon bear my gentle voice t’ Then sbe took tbe old . .The latest thing in front door locks—night keys. . .About half the population ef Norwich are in a state of frenzy over the following puzzle: To five and five aud fifty.five tbe first of let ters add, 'twill make a thing tbat killed a King and drove a wise man mad.' It was published first about twenty years ago, and never has been correctly answered. Bat they say there is an answer.—Bulletin. Tbs Bulletin observed in its next issue: ‘ A correspondent writes tbat tbe answer to tbe riddle published Monday, is ‘ Ace.' He says that au Ace is the only thing he knows of that will kill a King, and be’s seen four of them break a wise man, if they didn't mako him mad.’ Wayside Gatherings. The original greenbacks—frogs. ..A patient waiter—a young doctor. ..High living for bard times—rooms in the attic. . .It is estimated that every pauper in San Antonio, Texas, owns about seven dogs. ..Correctly don't seom like a hard word; yet they all go down because they can’t spell correctly. . .Party ties—those little white chokers worn by blonde gentlemen wbo part their hair in the middle. .London is ahead. It has more Jews than Palestine, more Scotchmen than Edinburg, more Irish than Dublin, more Catholics than Rome, and more thieves than Chicago. . .Tbe greatest discovery at Pompeii is that of a woman makiDg a fire in a cook stove while ber husband is in bed and asleep. Sbo was a noble woman.—Boston Journal. .A widow was weeping bitterly at tbe loss of ber husband, and the parson tried to con sole ber. ‘ No, no,' said she; * let me have my cry out, and then I shan't care anything more about it.’ ..Someof the Western papers give long strings of notices of proposed orthographical contests under tbe bead of ‘Prospective Spells!’ ..A prominent Detroit Universalist, some months ago, married a rod-beaded widow witb four children, and last week remarked to a friend : * I was blind when I believed there is uo hell. I see now.' .. Alabama barbers have fine feeling. One tried to shoot himself the other day because a customer asked him wby be didn't use a crow bar to shave with. He couldn't b’ar to bo talked to in tbat way. ..Nevada brides won't stand much foolish ness at a wedding. Recently one of them while going up tbe aisle of tbe church stopped short and kicked all the skin off the shins of agrooms- man who trod on her trail. .. Edgar Poe said: * To villify a great man is tbe readiest way in which a little man can bimself attain greatness. Tbe crab migbt never have become a constellation but for tbe courage it evinced in nibbling Hercules on tbe beol.’ ..A Troy girl, who was looking at a circus clown whirling a bat on a stick, remarked to her young man that' sho used to do that.' The young man was lookiug at a contortionist in another part of tho arena who bad bis legs tied around his neck, and an explanation was uecessary. The Lord never meant for us to bile over with religion this cold weather!” said a Du luth deacon as be dismissed church aud went home to hug tbe stove. .. A sharp old gentleman traveling out West got a seat in tbe car beside his wife by request ing tbo young man wbo sat by ber, ‘ tb please watch tbat woman while be went into another car, as she had fits.’ ..Ayoung planter in Elbert county wrote to bis factor in Augusta about tbe sale of Borne cotton, and immediately afterwards iedited a loving epistle to his sweetheart. Consequence —tbo letters got mixed, and now the young man complains-tbat be can’t bear from his factor. ..A witness, in describing certain events, said: ‘ Tbe person I saw at tbe bead of tbe stairs was a man witb one eye named Jacob Wilkins.' ‘ What was tbe name of bis other eye f' spitefully asked the opposing counsel. Tbe witness was disgusted at tbe levity of the audience. . .The proposition to make Gen. Hancock tbe Democratic nominee for tbe Presidency calls forth this comment from tbe Cincinnati Enquirer: “Gen. Hancock is a very clever gentleman, bat tbe demand tor tbe conversion of tbe White Hoase into military barracks is not as great as it was a few years ago.” The Washington Star says: Sinoe tho passage of tbe (new franking) law committee clerks have been kept busy franking thousands of documents, many of which have been stow ed away at tbe capital for several years past. Congressmen are now able to send them thro' the mails free, and the result is that tbe post office in this city is clogged with such matter, tons of it being received daily. ..March 1, 18G4, tbe New Haven papers published a list ot 125 people in tbat city who were over seventy years of ago. March 1,1875, there were but 11 of them living. ..A young gentleman lately attended a cir cus for tbe first time, and on tbe Sunday fol lowing was taken by bis grandmother to church. He gazed around in some wonder ment for a few moments. When tbe organist began to play he turned to his grandmother and said, in a whisper: ‘Grandma, will there be a circus, so I can see tbe lion 1’ ‘Wby, no, Eddie, this is chorch.’ Well/ replied tbe little man, ‘ it’s eircus music anyway/ ..The Eaglisb lover wbo sued bis sweet heart for breach of promise met a Daniel on tbe bench. Tbe jury was instructed by tbhi said Dan that in such cases a man does not suffer as much as a woman. ‘ He can get a living/ remarked his honor, ‘just as well as before, and has suffered nothing that money can repair. Moreover, a man is none tbe worse for being kissed for a series of years, as happened in this case, while a woman, after be ing a long time a subject of osculatory exer cises, is not so*aotively iu demand by other M men afterward.’ ..Two Irishmen were working in a quarry, wben ono of them fell into a deep quarry hole. Tbe other, alarmed, came to the margin of tho hole and cried out, ‘Arrah, Pat, are ye kilt entirely t If ye aro dead, sphaka.’ Pat V answered from tbe bottom, • No, Tim, not dead, but I’m spaohless.’