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NEWS & PLANTERS’ GAZETTE.
D.. COTTIKG, Editor.
No. ®t.— NEW SERIES.]
News and Planters' 1 Gazette.
terms:
Published weekly at Two Dollars and Fifty
Cunts per annum, if paid at the time of Subscri
bing; or Three Dollars if not paid till the expi
rutimi of three months.
No paper to be discontinued, unless at the
option of the Editor, withputthe settlement of
aff'arrearages.
IT Litters, on business, must be postpaid, to
insure attention. No communication shall be
•published, unless we are made acquainted with
the name of the author.
TO ADVERTISERS.
Advertisements, not exceeding one square,first
insertion, S>a;etUij-jiie Cents ; and for each sub
sequent insertion, Fifty Cents. A reduction will
be made of twenty-five per cent, to those who
advertise by the year. Advertisements not
limit e-d when handed in, will be inserted till for
bid, and charged accordingly.
Sales of Land and Negroes by Executors, Ad
ministrators and Guardians, are required by law,
to be advertised, in a public Gazette, sixty days
previous to the day of sale.
The sales of Personal Property must be adver
tised in like manner, forty days.
Notice to Debtors and Creditors of an Estate
must be published forty-days.
Notice that application will be made to the
Court of Ordinary, for leave to sell Land or Ne- -
groes, must be published for four months—
notice that application will be made for Letters
of Administration, must be published thirty daijs;
and Letters of Dismission, six months.
Mail Arrangements.
Washington, Ga., Sept. 1, 1843. }
EASTERN MAIL.
By this route, Mails are made up for Raytown,
Double-Wells, Crawfordville, Camack, Warren
ton, Thompson, Dearing, and Barzelia.
arrives.
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at 9, A. M.
CLOSES.
Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, at 2|, P. M
WESTERN MAIL.
By this route, Mails are made up for all Offi
ces :n South-Western Georgia, Mis
sissippi, Louisiana, Florida, also Athens, Ga. and
the North-Western part of the State.
arrives —Wednesday and Friday, by 6 A. M.
closes —Tuesday and Thursday, at 12 M.
ABBEVILLE, S.C. MAIL.
By this route, Mails are made up for Danburg,
Pistol Creek, and Petersburg.
ARRIVES.
Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, by 1 P. M.
CLOSES.
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at G A. M.
LEXINGTON MAIL.
By this route, Mails are made up for Centre
v itte, State Rigiits, Scull-shoals, and Salem.
arrives —Monday and Ftriday, at 9 A. M.
closes —Tuesday and Saturday, at 9 A. M.
appling Mail.
By this route, Mails are made up for Wrights
boro’, White Oak, Walker’s Quaker Springs.
arrives —Tuesday and Saturday, by 9 A. M.
closes —Monday and Friday, at 9 A. M.
ELBERTON mail.
Bv this route, Mails are made up for Mallo
rysville, Goosepond, Whites, Mill-Stone, Hurri
sonville, and Ruekersville.
Arrives Thursday 8 P. M., aud Closes ‘same time.
LINCOLNTON mail.
By this route, Mails are made up for Rehoboth,
Stoney Point, Goshen, Double Branches, aud
Darby’s.
Arrives Friday, 12 M. | Closes same time.
EF The Letter Box is the proper place to de
posite all matter designed to be transported by
Mail,-and such as may be found there at the
times above specified, will be despatched by first
post.
palmer & McMillan,
TAILORS,
H AVE removed to No. 4, Bolton's Range,
on the West side of the Public Square,
where they will be happy to see all their friends
and customers.
December 21,1843. 17
LOTTING &, BUTLER,
ATTORNIES,
HAVE taken an OFFICE on the North
side of the Public Square, next door to
the Branch Bank of the State of Georgia.
October, 1843. 28
NELSON CARTER,
* DEALER IN
Choke Drugs and Medicines,
Chemicals, Patent- Medicines,
Surgical and Dental Instruments,
Perfumery, Brushes,
Paints, Oils, Dye-Stuffs,
Window Glass, Spc. fyc.
EE? MORTAR. \ AUGUSTA, Ga.
October 12, 1843. ly 7
%
FOUR months after date, application will be
made to the Honorable the Inferior Court
of Elbert county, while sitting as a Court of Or
dinary, for Jeave to sell all the Lands and Ne
groes belonging to the Estate of Rhoda Cleve
land, deceased, late of Elbert county.
JACOB M. CLEVELAND, Adm’r.
January 8,1844. m4m 21
FOUR months after date, application yill be
made to the Inferior Court of Elbert” coun
ty, while sitting as a Court of Ordinary, for leave
to sell all the Lands belonging to the Estate of
Archer Skinner, deceased.
ADAM KELLEY, Adm’r. with
the will annexed, of Archer Skinner, deceased.
January 2,1844. m4m 19
JttCGCCUflWrOttfii^
From the Boston Olive Branch.
THE SERIOUS JOKE.
CHAPTER. 1.
Forty years ago, there lived in a town not
very far from Boston a personage whom I
shall call Haines, beeause I prefer it to his
real Dame. He was at the commencement
of our story, about fifty years of age, and
had enlisted in the service of his country
during the Revolutionary war. But
tho’ enlisted he had never been brought to
face the enemy on the open field on any
! occasion. Notwithstanding this, and not
withstanding his notorious timidity, he was
the greatest braggart in all the country
round, and prodigious were the stories of
his own exploits with which he was prone
‘to astonish the natives.’ But this I am
bound to say was his principal, if not his
only failing. In his social and domestic
relations, he was as blameless as most
men, nor did that spirit of mendacity which
seemed to possess him when his own ex
ploits were the theme, ever appear in any
of his dealings with others. The village
store of , was like most of the village
stores in New England —i.e. a lounging
place for all the neighborhood. It was
here that Haines was in his greatest glory;
for here he could, at any seasonable time,
obtain listeners; and.au audience was all
he wanted. When he was seated by the
stove; with a ring of his neighbors round
him, he would give up the reins to his im
agination and plunge into relations which
would have astonished Major Longbow,
and would have caused Baron Munchau
sen to turn pale with envy. It was here,
in the very scene of his most splendid sto
ries, that a plot was laid which bid fair to
put an end to his boasting for some time at
least.
The Yankees, it is pretty well known,
are about as sharp a people as there is any
where. Even the jews; the sharpest files
in tile old world, have no chance with the
‘most enlightened nation’ in all creation,
and have often acknowledged that they
were no match for the inventors of horn
gun (lints and wooden nutmegs. It is
quite amusing to watch a genuine Jona
than where he has the least reason to sup
pose that any body is attempting to stuff
him, as ho expresses it. Not a movement,
not a twinkle will betray the least suspi
cion of an attempt to practice upon his cre
dulity. Not a glance will shew the‘prac
titioner’ that his supposed dupe is reading
him like a book—until some keen and bit
ter joke suddenly opens his eves to the fact
that it would have been a great deal belter
for him if he had let Jonathan alone.
It is easy to guess that among such a
people our friend Haines would sooner or
later meet with some body who would
bring him to account, for the large de
mands which lie made on their credulity;
and this was the case.
One of his most constant listeners was a
man named Williams. This man, while
secretly laughing at him, professed the
most profound faith in his stories; the great
est respect in his courage and conduct;
and by flattering him without stint, had se
duced him into the most extravagant rela
tions. To extract more material for a
musement out of him, he proposed to some
of his acquaintances, one of whom was the
store keeper, a plan by which Haines
would be drawn out, into still further ex
travagancies.
The plan which was adopted was this:
The Storekeeper was to pretend sometime,
that his store had been broken open in the
night. To make it appear like a bona fide
robber}', he was to do some damage to his
windows, boxes, &c. and to strike off a
number of handbills offering a large reward
for the goods and the thief. They must af
ter some time, pretend to discover the sto
len property in a cavern in the neighbor
hood which went by the name of Wolf’s
Cave. The owner of course, was not to be
one of the discoverers, and they were to ac
quaint Haines (confidentially) with their
discovery, and request him, in consequence
ofhis well known reputation for courage (?)
to help them to watch over the goods in the
cave and apprehend the supposed thief
when became after his booty. If they
sucoeeded in getting him to mount guard
over the Cave—they were then Jo disguise
themselves and make a feigned attack up
on him, and from his notorious cowardice
they anticipated the greatest amusement.
At length the village people were as
tounded with the intelligence that the store
of Mr. D had been broken open in the
night! Fifteen hundred dollars worth of
goods were reported to have been stolen and
before noon large handbills were struck off
offering 400 dollars for the recovery of
the goods, and the detection of the thieves,
ifthere was more than oue. The conspira
tors were loud in their expressions of sym
pathy, and made a search as active to all
appearance as if they really did not know
any thing of the place where the goods were
hidden.
Wolf’s cave, as the cavern was called,
to which they had conveyed the goods, was
situated in the midst of a thick wood about
half a mile from the village. The only ap
proach to it was by what is called a wood
road, that is a path, formed for conven
ience in drawing out wood, by cutting down
some of the largest trees and moving them
out es the way. The conspirators took
this forest for their part of the search in or
der Jo keep the others out of it and pre
vent the premature discovery of the goods
in. tha cave.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING.
WASHINGTON, (WILKES COUNTY, GA,,) MARCH 28, 1844.
About noon they went in a body to the
house of Haines. They found him just
sitting down to his dinner, and the hand
bill containing the offer of reward on the
table before him. Offering them chairs
he asked them if they would not sit down
and take some dinner with him—but they
all excused themselves, and Williams in a
very serious tone asked hi,m, ‘Mr. Haines
will you step out here a few minutes our
friends here want to see you.’
Haines dropped his knife and fork and
arose with some wonder to comply with
their request.
Taking him into the barn, they looked
a!! around, and finally, when Haines’ cu
riosity was excited to the highest pitch,
Williams came up to him and whispered,
‘ We have found the goods!’
‘ Where V said Haines in amazement,
‘ Where are they ?’
‘Why,’ said Williams, ‘the truth is,
Mr. Haynes, that we found them in such a
way as to make us suspect that if we go to
work with a proper degree of prudence and
courage we will secure the.thief!’
‘ Yes ! Courage is the thing you want!’
‘Ah! we know it Mr. Haines!’ said
Williams, ‘ and if we can obtain the benefit
of your experience in this matter, I have
i no doubt we shall catch the rascal.’
‘ He’ll he a sharp customer if he escapes
jme !’ said the boasting Haines. ‘ Darn his
skin ! I guess he’ll remember me if I once
set my paws on him !’ and he stretched out
his hands with an air of hugh conceit.
He was caught, decidedly caught ; and
they took him to the cave without further
delay and exhibited the goods to his won
dering eves.
‘ Now,’ said Williams’, we will say notli
| ing about this, and when the thief comes
j after the goods we’ll nah him.’
‘But,’ said Haines, ‘Why can’t you
take the goods home now, and then watch
for the thief afterwards ?’
‘ Oh !’ replied one of the men whose name
was Merril, ‘ You know if they knew we
had recovered the goods the thief would he
as likely to hear of it as any one. Besides,
you know the hand-hill says S4OO reward
for the goods and thieves —both together.
If we bring hack one—may he D will
refuse to pay more than half.’
‘Oh! that’s it, is it?’ said the unsus
pecting Haines, ‘ Well—l don’t know but
you are right!’
‘To be sure we are,’ said Williams.—
‘ And if we can get you to help us, we will
he sure of the reward.’
Ilaines finally agreed to go with them,
and they left him to his dinner with a very
little appetite indeed for it.
As for themselves, it was with the great,
est difficulty that they managed to keep
their countenances at all during this scene;
but when they got as they supposed out of
sight and hearing—they every one burst
into a loud laugh.
‘ Well, I’ll he blamed !’ said one of them,
‘ If I ever corned across such a born fool as
that ere chap is. He’s the completes! gou
by, he is, that ever I did see—that’s a fact:
Flow like a great turkey gobbler he swell
ed out when he talked about his courage 1
Haw! Haw! Haw! It beats all nater !
It does, I swanny !’
Now this gentleman had better have held
his tongue—as it proved in the sequel.
When he made those remarks, the party
had entered a small piece of woods through
which the road ran, and they stopped under
the shade. But as fate would have it—a
Mr. Smith, had entered these very woods a
few minutes before they did—and seating
himself upon a log, had begun to ‘calcu
late’ the value of the ‘ location,’ like a true
yankee. So deeply engaged in calcula
tion was he that he did not notice the party
at first, and probably he would not have
noticed them at all if it had not been for
this noisy individual. Ashamed to be
caught after hearing so much of what they
were saying he did not dare to stir ; and as
he was separated from them only by a few
hushes, he had to hear the whole of it.
Now Mr. Smith was quite a shrewd and
observing man, if ho did get a little bemus
ed, sometimes. During the forepart of the
day he had occupied himself in trying to
solve the mystery of the robbery. He no
ticed a good many circumstances which
made him suspect that all v as not as it ap
peared, about it. There was, he thought,
a greater amount of apparent, and very
much less real damage, than a veritable
burglar would be likely to leave behind
him. The glass of a miserable old show
case had been dashed in—the very case
which, he had heard Mr. D say, not a
week before, that he was going to remove
and replace it by anew one.
The broken padlock which was exhibit
ed, he could take his oath was not the one
which had been used to fasten the Store.
The display of damage too, was altogether
more ostentatious than was altogether nat
ural. Several shelves were broken down,
and some old boxes were most cruelly
smashed which no burglar in his senses
would ever have thought worth more than
a kick. Mr. D too, did not look as
gloomy as a robbed man would. All this
made him doubt—but then the goods were
really gone—and that puzzled him not a
little. Altogether, he was in a state of
great perplexity, and would probably have
remained so until now, if the conversation
he was thus compelled to hear had not en
lightened him.
From this he gathered that the robbery
was a hoax, and lhat this inconceivably sil
ly hoax had been perpetrated with the con
sent of Mr. D for the purpose of mak
ing sport with Haines ! He was perfectly
! astonished, and as their plans wore unfold- !
ed still further in their conversation so in
dignant did he grow, that it was as much as
he could do to refrain from breaking in up
on them.
‘ Come !’ exclaimed a man whom lie
know to be Williams, by his voice, ‘Come!
no quizzing now, we will ho likely to have
our hands full to-night. Which of us is to
he the thief who is to come after the goods
during Haines’watch ?’
‘You!’ ‘Do it vourself!’ You, Wil
liams, you are stout and Haines may he
savage,’ was the reply of the different indi
viduals of the party.
1 Well then,’ said Williams, ‘I suppose
1 must; some of you lend me some clothes
for a disguise, I have a mask at home.’
‘ But what shall we do with him, after
we have bound and blindfolded him V ask- j
ed one of them.
‘Do with him V said Merril, * have lots
of fun with him to he sure. Pretend to
shoot him or something of that sort.’
‘No! No!’ said Williams, ‘that will
not do. The gun would he heard ;we
must contrive something else.’
‘ What do you say to pretending to shoot
at him, and then making h’lieve to drown
him in old Smith’s reservoir ?’suggested
Cobh. ‘There is only three feet of water
in it, and a ducking won’t hurt him.’
‘ Very good idea that,’ said Merril ; we
can fasten him in by closing the trap door
and then go back and get our goods, and go
home.’
‘ Very good !’ chimed in Williams ; hut
what will we say to him in the morning?
Or how shall we excuse our running away
—or how shall we account to him for hav
ing the goods if we tell him we were clias
ed by the thieves ?’
‘ Olt ! tell him we took courage and came
and found the coast clear,’ said Cobh.
‘ Well,’ said Williams, 1 let us ho going ;
we ought to get ready if we mean to been
hand.’ So saying, he started on, and the
rest followed hint.
Burning with indignation, Smith rose
from his concealment and proceeded direct
ly to the house of Haines. lie told him in
very few words what he had overheard, and
advised him by all means to go as he had
agreed to.
‘ Go,’ said he, ‘ and let them do as they
please with you. They certainly will not
injure you, and we will fix a plan for them
that will make them sweat or I greatly
mistake.’
CHAPTER 11.
At the appointed hour Haines arranged
himself and went with them to the cave.
It was Williams’ first watch. lie sought
a place of concealment among the leaves,
behind a projecting rock so as to remain
undiscovered by the expected thief. The j
rest of the watch were at a short distance, j
say twenty rods from the cave within call.
After a tedious hour he returned, without
seeing any thing, of course. So it was with
Cobb, who was the next man to mount!
guard. It was now Haines’ turn, and he
took his stand as watch, marching off to his
post with a fortitude which astonished the
company.
Williams immediately prepared himself |
to personate the thief. He put on his dis- I
guise, and leaving the rest of tho ‘ watch’ j
took a circuit and approached Ilaines in
the opposite direction. But instead of be
ing received by him with groans and entrea
ties as he expected, he was met with a cour
age which perfectly amazed him. And it
was not until after a severe struggle and
many shouts from Ilaines for the watch,
which he did not expect to come, that Wil
liams, stout as he was, could succeed in
rowing him. Haloes affected to be in
great distress at the desertion of his com
rades, and when they did at last come for
ward, disguised as the thief allies, and ban
daged his eyes and tied his hands behind
him, he cried out ‘murder! murder!’just
as naturally as could be, and with a vigor
which did great credit to his lungs.
‘ Let us tie him up and shoot him 1’ said
Williams, in a feigned voice.
‘Let us all fire at once,’ said a voice
which he knew to be Cobb’s.
At these dreadful words, Haines began
to groan, and did it so naturally that the
conspirators began to feel some compunc
tion, and they would have omitted this part
of the hoax, if it had not been carried al
ready so far that they might as well finish
it.
They snapped their pieces at him, but
missed fire of course. Pretending to be
furious at this, they cut him loese, and with
terrible oaths, carried him to the reservoir,
into which when they arrived there, they
let him down with a bed-cord, assuring him
all the while that they were going to drown
him.
But if they supposed there was more than
enough water in the reservoir to wet his
feet—they were mistaken. Mr. Smith had
taken the precaution to let the water off,
and there was very little more remaining
than would come up over a man’s shoes.
Lowering him into this they fastened
down the scuttle, and hurrying back to the
cave, prepared with shouts of laughter to
carry away the goods. But, to their utter
astonishment they found them all gone !
The fact is, that while they were en
gaged with Flaines, Smith who had been in
the neighborhood all the while with a horse
and wagon and his negro ‘help,’ Isaac, had
put them into the wagon and makiug Isaac
drive home with them, went after the con
spirators to see what they did with their
prisoner.
He watched them from behind a tree :
( while they were letting him down into the
reservoir, hut, as it was very dark he had
to trust more to hearing than sight.
Presently he heard them running by his
concealment towards the cave. Chuckling
over their probable surpnse, he went to the
reservoir, and hauling Hanes out, began to
prepare another for them.
This was no less than to tie the bed-cord
with which Haines had been hound, around
the waist of a ‘ man of straw ’ which he had
all prepared, and letting that into the re
servoir, lie opened the dam and filled it up,
witli water to the depth of twelve feet, into
which the effigy immediately sunk—for it
was heavily stuffed. He had hardly let it
down before he heard the party returning
as he anticipated they would. The con
spirators’ repentance was now severe be
| yond description. The goods were now
i stolen without dispute, and the hoax began
to have a very serious appearance. At
length Williams exclaimed in a tone which
fonnd an echo in every breast.
‘Let us release ilaines, and every man
of us get out of his sight before he knows
who we are !’
Acting on this suggestion, they went
back to the reservoir. Opening the settle,
they took hold ofone end of the cord which
remained just as they had left it—and pul
led upon it strongly in order to draw him
out. The rope was very wet, the body
rose with wonderful ease, almost to their
reach and Merril put it in his hand to grasp
it when to the great horror of his compan
ions he exclaimed,‘Oh heaven! It is full
of water, and Haines is drowned !’
‘Pull him up !’ said Williams greatly
agitated, ‘pull him up ! we must make the
best of it!’
They were paralysed with terror—they
remained speechless and motionless. At
last Williams himself had to take hold, and
drawing up the body he cut the rope which
fastened it.
‘Come!’said he as the body fell hack,
‘let us leave him here, it will pass for a
suicide I’and home they went with indes.
cribable sensations, to pass a night of sleep
lessness & despair. As for Smith & Haines,
they waited till the others had retired, and
then went laughing to their respective
homes. In the morning at the usual hour,
a group collected around the store to make
enquiries about the robbery. Mr. D .
now really sorrowful, declared that nothing
had been discovered, and that he would
give the reward for the recovery of the
I goods alone. Ilaines was nut there, for he
: kept in his house by the advice of Smith.
Williams was present, and talked and
acted with astonishing coolness. But he
was devoured with anxiety to learn wheth
er any one had heard of Haines. He could
not forbear talking about him. Ilaines
j searched a good deal yesterday,’ said he ;
I ‘does lie report any thing ?’
‘He has not been seen to day,’ replied
one of the crowd.
‘lt is strange,’ remarked one of the com
pany, ‘that lie is not here. He is usually
! present when there is any thing on foot.
Many such remarks were made, hut the
robbery looked as mysterious as ever.—
Nothing was known about the goods even
: to the conspirators, and deeply did Mr. D—
j regret his share in the miserable hoax. He
i was sitting in his store ruminating on these
! matters when a letter was brought to him.
by a little boy who said he found it on the
step. The letter was as follows:
‘The writer is in possession ofthe goods.
He can prove to the satisfaction of all, that
he is not the thief. If Mr. D. will place
the reward in the hands of some honorable
man for the writer’s benefit, the goods shall
be restored.’
Mr. D. immediately complied with the
! requisition by placing the reward in the
hands of Mr. Smith, about whose interfer
ence with their plot he knew nothing, and
who was universally esteemed. Now it
so happened that it was by the advice of
Smith that the above not was written by
Haines, for lie was the author. Delighted
with their success, they prepared to fulfil
their promise by sending back the goods—
Mr. Smith’s wagon was driven out of tow'n
laden w ith the stolen articles, in the night,
and a teamster hired in another town to
take the goods back again to Mr. D’s
store. This round about was taken to pre
vent discovery. Towards night then this
team approached the store of Mr. D. ‘I have
been ordered said the driver, to deliver you
these goods.’ And saying nothing about a
reward, and disregarding the thousand in
quiries put to him, he performed his errand
and drove off’.
All attention was now directed to Smith,
to know to whom he would deliver his re
ward, but he would give no answer at all
more than that he had sufficient reasons
why he should say nothing of the finder of
the goods, except that he was satisfied with
his honesty. ‘But in time,’ said he, ‘it shall
be made satisfactory to all of you.’
Having implicit confidence in Smith’s
integrity—they anxiously awaited the re
sult. • It was now the third day after that
eventful night, and the mental excitement
of the conspirators was preying upon tneir
vitals. Haines had remained perdu in his
house, and it began to be whispered that
his absence was extraordinary. No death
to be sure had been spoken of——but all
sorts of surmises and suspicions were rife,
and when two little boys who had been
playing round the water, came into the vil
lage exclaiming that ‘a man was drowned
in the reservoir !’ it seemed as if every
body came at once to the conclusion that it
: could be no one but Haines.
! As for the conspirators they were nearly
ITI. J. KAPPEIi, Frinler.
half dead with terror. An irresistahle fas
cination seemed to draw them to the fatal
reservoir, and they trembled in every limb
when they saw tho people preparing to
tear off’the planks which covered it.
At length they let down a hook—it was
entangled in the clothes—the body was
drawn up, and they saw with horror, they
1 said, the coal which Haines was known to
j have worn ! Overcome with emotion they
were about to fly from the spot, when they
were inexpressibly delighted by the news
that ‘it was only a man of straw /’
‘Now look at his picture,’said the opera
lor, drawing him out into the plain view of
all.
According to the various temperaments
ofthe men, some mad’ a joke of ‘he matter,
and others thinking it a serious matter,
kept silent.
‘[’he conspirators equally astonished ard
, delighted, retreated unobserved mtv a ;
by themselves, and congratulated each oth
er that they were not murderers at any
j rate. When the crowd dispersed, Williams
| determining to sift this mystery to the bot
] tom, went directly to the house of Haines—
; he did not have the face to go there before,
j ami found the man !
‘Where on earth have you been so long,
Haines ?’ said he.
‘Been ! Oh ! I’ve been laid up by my
tussle with the thieves !
‘What did they do with you ?’
‘What did you do with yourselves !
‘Oh ! we saw three stout, well armed
men coming at us, and so we had to leave
or be cut down.’
‘Well,’ said Haines, ‘lt appears that I
have the reward.’
‘You! said Williams with astonishment.
‘Yes, I,’ replied Ilaines. ‘Why did’nt
you know that I conquered the thieves and
took the booty ?’ said he sneeringly.
‘Now, seriously,’ said Williams, ‘tell me
all about your scrape with the thieves—
how was it you managed to escape out of
their hands ?’
‘Flow did you know that I got into their
hands when you run away ?’ said Haines,
‘but do not pet about my scrape with the
thieves. I intend to tell the people all a
bout it. Hadn’t I better ?’
‘lt sceins to me Haines that I would not
sav any thing about it.
‘But you know, rejoined Ilaines, ‘as we
were doing what was perfectly honorable,
we expected of course that we should all
of us speak of it next day.
■To be sure, we expected to—but turn
ing out as it lias, I think it would be as well
to say nothing about it V
‘Oh well! I must tell every thing about
1 it, especially as I am to have the reward !’
i Williams withdrew from this unpleasant
interview. He was now convinced that
Ilaines knew who it was that had him in
hand—and what was more, that he would
tell of it. It was told much to the confu
sion ofour worthies, Williams, Cobb, Mer
ril, and I) . The agency of Smith was
; not known until about three years after,
! when Haines revealed the whole of it, and
j returned the reward with the advice to the
| payer to be careful of his jokes next time,
i and particularly cautiffus about again rob
i bing himself.
; These facts are all familiar to the minds
jof the older persons where they occurred,
and every minute incident is still related,
without variation, after a lapseof 40 years.
Anecdote. —The following anecdote il
lustrating the patriotic ardor of our grand
mothers in the early days of the rev
olution, is as much to the point as any we
; recollect of reading.-—A w orthy couple in
I the neighborhood of Boston, had one son,
j who when the news ofthe battle ofLexing
| ton reached him, was ploughing in the
j field. Fie was told to “unhitch,” shoulder
| his musket and march up to Boston. Sor
rowfully he went into the house as order
j ed, [for he was but a hoy,] and told his
mother the order that tore him from the do
mestic fire-side, and vowed his determina
tion not to comply. The anger of his
mother knew no bounds: she exclaimed
with an emphasis not to be misunderstood,
“Jonathan if you dont shoulder your mus
ket, in one minute and march I’ll whip you
to death!” Jonathan always obedient to
laws or commands emanating from his
parents obeyed instanter. He liked the
fun so well that he served six years faith
fully, and was finally discharged by
General Washington after the disbanding
of Die army.
The importance of writing a legible hand.
—lt is oue thing to write a pretty band,
and quite another and a better thiftg ts>
write a hand that can he read. It is rela
ted of a clergyman, who flourished many
years ago in Massachusetts, that be wrote
so illegibly that his lettevs-were often set'’
back to him to be deciphered. He one<
had occasion to petition the Legislature *•”
something, and the clerk tread a portion cu
his petition in terms nearly as follows:
“and I now address your body as Indian
devils” —“Yes,” said he, after looking
more closely at the manuscript, “it is In
dian Devils” —“Consternation followed, the
reading was dispensed with, and the ser
geant at arms ordered to arrest the clergy -
man for his insult to “powers that be.
It turned out that the clerk should have
read individuals, instead of Indian devils,
and the clergyman was advised to writ?
plainer hand in future.
Marry a man for his good sense, amiable tern,
per, his sound morals, his habits of industry and
oeonomv, Sr jam will then have a good husband.
[VOLUME XXIX.