Newspaper Page Text
MEWS & PLANTERS’ GAZETTE.
D.. edTTINCJ, Editor.
No. 43.—NEW SERIES.]
* * J
1 News arid Planters ’ Gazette.
TERMS:
Published weekly at Two Dollars and Fifty
Cents per annum, if paid at the time of Subscri
bing ; or Three Dollars if not paid till the expi
ration of three months.
No paper to be discontinued,unless at the
option of bo ‘Hit >r, without tne settlement of
all arrearages.
13* !j ■it ■ •r.i, off business, must In post'paid, to
insure attention.. :Vo communication shall be
■published, unless aware made acquainted with
the name of the author.
TO ADVERTISERS.
Advertisements, not exceeding one square, first
insertion, Seventy-fire Cents; and for eadh sub
sequent iiu:eri.,>!., Fittu Cents. A reduction will
be made oinwenty-fivo per tent, to those who
advertise by the year. advertisements not
limited when handed in, will be inserted till for
b.d, and efiurgou accordingly.
Sktesfof Land and Negroes by Executors, Ad
ministrators and Guardians, are required bylaw,
to be advertised, in a public Gazette, Sixty days
previous to the day of sale.
The sales oi Personal Property must be adver
tised in like manner, forty days.
Notice to Debtors and Creditors oi an Estate
must be published forty days.
Notice that application will be made to the
Court of Ordinary, for leave to sell Land or Ne
groes, must be published for four months—
notice that application will be made for Letters
of Administration, must be published thirty days;
and Letters of Dismission, six months.
Mail Asr&sigemeiats.
POST OFFICE, i
Washington, Ga. t Sept. 1, 1843. $
EASTERN MAIL.
By this route, M ails are made up for Raytown,
Double-Wells, Crawfordviile, Camack, Warren
tori, Thompson, Denying, and Barzelia.
,1 •?;: ~ -Friday, a! !>, A -M.
Tue*.i; . . Saturday, a11|,P.31
WESTERN MAIL.
By this route, Mails are made up for all Offi
ces in South-Western Georgia, Alabama, Mis
sissippi, Louisiana, Florida, also Athens, Ga. and
the North-Western part of the State.
arrives —Wednesday and Friday, by 6 A. M.
closes —Tuesday and Thursday, at 12 M.
* ABBEVILLE, a.C. MAIL.
By this route, Mails are made up for Danbury,
Pistol Creek, and l’eter:*burg.
ARRIVES.
Tuesday, Thursday, and .Saturday, by 1 P. M.
CLOSES.
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at 6 A. M.
LEXINGTON MAIL.
By th is route, Mails are made up for Centre
ville, .State Rights, Sculi-siioals, and Salem.
arrives —Monday and Friday, at 9 A. M.
closes —Tuesday and Saturday, at 9 A. M.
APPLING MAIL.
By this route, Mails are made up for Wrights
boro’, White Oak, Walker’s Quaker Springs.
arrives —Tuesday and Saturday, by 9 A. M.
closes —Monday and Friday, at 9 A. M.
ELBERTON MAIL.
By this route, Maiis are made up for Mallo
rysville, Goosepond, Whites, Mill-Stone, Ilarri
sonville, and Ruckersville.
Arrives Thursday 8 P. ML, and Closes same time.
LfNCOLNTON MAIL.
By this route, Mails are made up for Rehoboth,
Stoney Point, Goshen, Double Branches, and
Darby’s.
Arrives Friday, 12 M. | Closes same time.
O’ The Letter Box is the proper place to de
posite all matter design© I to be transported by
Mail v and such as inny lie found there at the
times above specified, will be despatched by first
post. •
COTTING &, BUTLER,
ATTORNIES,
HAVE taken an OFFICE on the North
side of the Public Square, next door to
the Branch Bank of the State of Georgia.
Octuber, 1843. 28
NELSON CARTER,
DEALER IN
Choice Drugs and Medicines,
Chemicals, Patent Medicines,
Surgical and Dental Instruments,
Perfumery, Brushes,
Paints, Oils. Dye-Stuffs,
Window Glass, Spc. Spc.
REU MOR™B I dOGVSTA, Ga.
October 12, 1843. ly 7
HAVILAND, RISLEV & Cos.
Near the Mansion House, Globe and United
States Hotels,
AUGUSTA, GA.,
DEALERS IN CHOICE
DRUGS AND MEDICINES,
Surgical and Dental Instruments,
Chemicals, Patent Medicines,
Perfumery, Brushes, Paints, Oils,
Window Dye Stuffs,
&.C. &c.
Being connected with Uaviland,
<§SB® Keese & Cos., New-York, and Hav
1T i land, Harhal & Allen, Charlcs
ton, they are constantly receiving
fresh supplies of every article in
their line, which they are enabled to sell at the
lowest market prices.
O’ All goods sold by them, warranted to be of
the quality represented, or may be returned.
- ’ Augusta, August 1843. 51
CLAY CLUB.
AT a regular meeting of the CLUB, held on
Tuesday the 7th instant, the following na
med gentlemen wore chosen Delegates to rep
resent the Club in the Convention to be bold in
Milledgeville on Monday the 24th of June next:
HEZEKIAII L EMBRY,
DAVID G. CUTTING,
JOHN I. WYNN,
JOHN C. STOKES.
J. R. Sneed, Secretary.
May 7,1841.
®SNTTO®ir B
WTLL spend two or three weeks in Wash
ington. Persons desiring his Profession
al services, will do well to call soon.
Washington, Wakes county, i
May 10 h. 1844. ‘ ] 38
Bargains ! Bargains !!
The Subscriber will sell his Stock
of
Staple and Fancy ,
Foreign and Domestic
At very reduced prices—cheaper than they
were ever offered in Washington before.
If you want good GOODS, at low prices,
call on
WILLIAM S. HEARD.
May 2, 1844. 2m 36
New Spring & Summer
J. MAYER & BROTHERS,
RESPECTFULLY inform the citizens of
Washington and vicinity, that they have j
just received a
New Supply of
Spring Summer
GOODS,
Consisting of the following Articles, viz.:
Foulard Silk, new style for Ladies’ Dresses, 371
cents per yard,
Lawns and printed Muslins, 31 to 45 cts. per yd.
Calicoes, of every description, 6to 18] do.
4-4 French Calico, 25 do.
Fine Irish Linen, 50 to 87 do.
Summer fancy Cassimers, 1 37 to 1 50 do.
Darp d’ete’ iof Summer wear, 874 ,0 $1 do.
Large assortment of Broadcloths, 83 to 86] do.
Ladies’ and Gentlemen’s Gloves of
every description, from 12] to $1
Great variety of Linen Cambric
Pocket Handkerchiefs, 18] to $1 each.
Summer Stuff lor Pantaloons, 12. jto 37 per yd.
Linen do. do. 37j to 62 do.
Swiss and Jaconet Muslins of every
description, 25 to 62 do.
Scotch Gingham, 31] do.
Also, a great variety of Manches
ter Ginghams, 12] to 18] do.
All kinds of Laces, Silk and Fil
let Shawls, Neck Ties, of
the latest style, 45 cts. to §7 each.
Ladies’ Silk and Cotton Hose of
all kinds, 12 cts. to 81 50
Leghorn and Straw Bonnets of
every description, $1 12] to 4 50
A great variety of Bonnet and Cap Ribbons,
Marseilles Vesting from 20 cts. to 75
Latest style of Ready-made Summer Clothing
for Gentlemen’s wear, a large assortment,
Also, an assortment of Summer Hats,
Ladies’ Shoes and Pumps of all kinds, from 25
cents a pair to 81 12]
Also, a large assortment of Gentlemen’s Shoes
and Pumps, from 62J to 82 75 cts. per pair
Boots from 82 to 84- do.
Bleached and unbleached Homespun of every
description, at the Charleston prices.
Coffee, Sugar, Tobacco &, Segars,
Which will be sold as cheap as can be bought
in this country. O” Call and see—nothing
charged for showing Goods.
April 25,1844. 35
FIRE INSURANCE.
rjMIE NEW-YORK CONTRIBUTION
SHIP FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY
have established an Agency in Washington,
Wilkes.county, Georgia, and are now prepared
to Insure Buildings and Merchandize against
loss or damage by Fire.
Capital $300,000,
All paid in and safely invested.
Apply to
WILLIAM S. HEARD, Agent, ’
Washington, Ga.
May 2, 1844. 36
Richmond Hotel .
AftyiA THE Subscriber, having taken the
I**” “iw above named HOUSE, formerly oc
• iufit RU P‘ et * by Capt. Edward W. Collier,
gsSssHi would be happy to receive the pat
ronage 01 his friends and the public generally.
The House is situated in the vicinity of many of
the principal Warehouses in Augusta, making it
a convenient location for persons visiting the
city on business. Families can be accommoda
ted with retired and pleasant Rooms.
Persons favoring me with a call, will find due
attention, comfortable lodgings, the best fare,
attentive hostlers and moderate charges.
JOHN T. WOOTTEN.
April 25, 1844. 35
Notice to Debtors and Creditors.
A LI. persons indebted to the Estate of John
Wilkinson, late of Wilkes county, deceas
ed, are requested to pay the same immediately,
and those having demands against the Estate
will present the same in terms of the law for
payment.
WM. S. HEARD. \ .
SAMUEL W. WYNN, \ l,x ra ’
1 May 16,1844. 6t 38
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING.
WASHINGTON, (WILKES COUNTY, GA.,) JUNE 20, ISM.
JKimUaurotifii.
—■7 ‘,7.T-SS-A--‘ - -.7-* - —; y- —
EASY JOE BRUCE.
‘Whew—ew—ew !’whistled Mr. Bruce,
or perhaps we should rather sav Joe Hruce,
for, as he was a noble, easy fellow, nobody
thought of allowing him moro than half his
name, or of anything else which belonged
to him, —‘I see by the paper that Hawk &
Harpy have assigned. 1 meant to have
secured my debt yesterday !’ He left his
coffee halfdrank, stumbled over the thresh
old, and wont almost at a run to the coun
ting-room of Hawk & Harpy. One half
that speed on the day before, would have
saved his debt, —as it was, lie was just in
season to put 011 his name at the bottom of
a dozen and a half ones, to receive ten per
cent. He went back to his unfinished
breakfast with what appetite 110 might.
‘Why did you neglect this so long, Mr.
Bruce ?’ said his helpmeet and comforter.
•I meant to have attended to it yesterday,
my dear.’
‘■You meant ! That is always your way,
Mr. Bruce. You carelessly neglect your
business to the last moment, and then put
yourself in a haste and a heat for nothing,
rny dear.’
‘Really, Mrs. Bruce— ’
But Mrs. Bruce did not allow him a
chance to defend himself. On she went in
the approved conjugal manner, to berate
him for his carelessness and inattention.
‘Really, Mrs. Bruce— ’
And it was really Mr. Bruce, for few of
the feminine, and none of the masculine
gender could have kept pace with her.—
Certainly Easy Joe could not. The ciat
terof a cotton mill would not have been a
circumstance to the din she raised—nay,
we doubt whether a phillippic against one
of those said mills, from the lungs of Ben
ton Tonans, could have been heard above
her voice. Easy Joe pulled a cigar-case
out of his pocket—clapped his feet on the
fender—and it almost seemed that the
smoke rendered his cars impervious to the,
bleatings of that gentle lamb, his spouse, so
placid was his countenance as the vapor
escaped in graceful volumes from his
mouth. People overshoot the mark some
times, —Mrs. Bruce did. Had she spared
her oration, the morning’s loss would have
induced her husband to have been punc
tual to his business, for one day at least.—
As it was, he took the same sort of pride in
neglecting it under her lecture, that any
body might take in refusing to be scolded
into good behavior. People like to have
the merit of doing right of their own ac
cord.
‘Breeze away, Mrs. Bruce.’
‘Breeze away, sir! Breeze away! 1
wish I could impart one tithe of my energy
to you, Mr. Bruce—l—l’
Bruce sprang to his feet, and crash !
came an elegant mantel clock down upon
the hearth.
‘There, Mr. Bruce ! The clock has stood
there three months without fastening—a
single screw would have saved it—but— ’
‘Well, I meant to—.’
‘ You meant! Mr. Bruce— You meant
won't pay the damage, nor Hawk & Har
py’s note 1 You meant, indeed 1
Bruce seized his hat and cloak. In a
few minutes he was on ‘Change. Nobody
could lead in his face any traces of the
matrimonial breeze, and nobody could have
suspected from his countenance that Hawk
& Harpy failed in his debt—Easy Joe
Bruce.
‘Well, Mr. Bruce, they’ve routed him.’
‘Who?’
‘Our friend Check. Pingrcc was cho
sen president of the Bank this morn
ing. One vote would have stopped him.’
‘Howducedlv unlucky. I meant to have
been presentto vote for Check myself.’
‘Never mind, Bruce,’ said another.—
‘You are a lucky man. The news of tiio
great fire in Speedervilie has just reached
town by express, and I congratulate you
that you was full insured.’
‘Thed—ll My policy expired last week,
and I meant to have got it renewed this
morning.’
Joe posted home in no very happy liu
tnor. When an easy man is fairly up, he
is the most uneasy and unreasonable man
in creation.
‘Mrs. Bruce, by staying at home to hear
you scold, 1 have lost thousands. I meant
to have got insured this morning ; I did
not; Speedervilie is burned down, and 1
am a beggar.’
‘Why did you not do it yesterday, Mr.
Bruce V
‘I was thinking of Hawk & Harpy.’
‘Thinking / Why did you not secure
yourself?’
‘I meant to, but’
‘But me no buts.’
‘You are in excellent spirits, Mrs. Bruce.’
‘Never in better.’
‘Vastly fine, madarn. We are beggars.’
Mrs. Bruce sat down, clapped her feet on
the fender, after her husband’s manner in
the morning.
‘We are beggars madam,’ Bruce repeat
ed.
‘Very good ; I will take my guitar, and
you shall shoulder the three children. —
We’ll play under Mr. Hawk’s window
first, then under Mr. Harpy’s, and then
beg our way to Speedervilie, to play to the
ashesof what w>as once your factory, which
you meant to have insured. I should like
begging of all things.’
‘You abominable woman, I shall go
mad.’
‘Don’t,! beseech you, Mr. Bruce. They
! put mad beggars in Bedlam.’
Bruce sprung for the door. His wife in
j tercepted him. Here, Joseph, is a paper 1
I meant to have shewed you this morning.’
: ‘A policy 1 And dated yesterdny V
’A es. You meant to get it renewed to
day ; Tike-ant it should he done yesterday ;
so I told your clerk, for you, to do it. Am
I not an abominable woman ?’
When I said so, I was in a pet. I j
meant —’
‘No more of that, Joseph. Now tell me j
who is first on Hawk A Harpy’s assign- 1
meat ?’
‘Your brother.’
‘His claim covers you both.’
‘You are an angel.’
Easy Joe became an altered man, and 1
his wife was released from her watch over
his out door business. She died some
years before him ; but we are half inclined
to suspect, that after iier death Joe partial
ly relapsed into his old habits ; so true it
is, that habit is a second nature. Both
were hurried in the grave-yard at Speeder
vilie, and our suspicions are founded on
something like the following conversation,
which took plueo between the grave-dig
ger and his assistant :
‘Where are we to dig Mr. Bruce’s grave?’ j
‘I don’t know exactly. Ilis will says j
next to his wife.’
‘Where was she laid ?’
‘That I don’t know. Easy Joe always
said he meant to place an obelisk over her,
but it was never done.’
Prom the Albany Evening Journal.
LEGAL TENDER.
What descriptions of money arc a legal
tender in the United States is a question
frequently asked, and one which few are
able confidently to answer, for cogent and :
obvious reasons, the power ‘ to coin mon
ey, regulate the value thereof, and of for- ;
eign coin, ami fix tho standard of weights j
and measures,’* is, by the Constitution of
the United States, conferred on Congress ;
and the States are expressly forbidden to
‘ make any thing but gold and silver coin
a tender in payment of debts.’ In pursu
ance of the above-mentioned power, an act
was passed soon after the organization of
tiie Government, to establish a Mint for the
purpose of a national coinage. By this act
our present decimal denominations of gold,
silver and copper coins were introduced ;
and all accounts in public offices-, and all
proceedings in the courts of the United
States, were required to be kept in dollars,
dimes, cents and mills ; and the gold and
silver coins struck at the Mint, were de
clared to be a lawful tender in all pay- ;
ments whatever. But by an act passed in j
1834, recognizing the Mint, and slightly 1
modifying the standard and weight of our j
gold and silver coins, the gold coins issued j
prior to July 31, 1834, are excluded as a j
legal tender.
In relation to foreign gold and silver
coins, great caution lias been exercised,
and a great number of acts have from time
to time been passed, to suit the ever vary
ing exigencies of commerce. Having com
pleted the somewhat laborious and perplex
ing task of examining these several acts,
for the purpose of ascertaining with cer
tainty the existing state of the law on the j
subject, I proceed to state the result, in the j
hope that it may be useful to others.
The following foreign gold coins are now ;
in legal tender within tiie United Slates, by 1
weight at the following rates •
O D
1. The gold coins of Great-Britain, of
not less than nine hundred and fifteen and
a half thousandths in fineness, at ninety
four cents and sixteenths of a cent per pen
nyweight.
2. The gold coins of France, of not less
than eight hundred and ninety-nine thou- i
sandths in fineness, at ninety.two cents and j
nineteenths of a cent per pennyweight.
3. The gold coins of Portugal and Bra
zil, of not less than twenty-two carets fine,
at the rate of ninety-four cents and eight
tenths of a cent per pennyweight.
4. The gold coins of Spain, Mexico and
Columbia, of the fineness of twenty carets
and three grains and seven-sixteenths of a
grain, at the rate of eighty-nine cents and
nine-sixteenths of a cent per pennyweight.
The following foreign silver coins are
now a legal tender, within the United States
by tale, at the following rates:
1. Spanish milled dollars, and the parts
thereof at the rate of one hundred cents for
each dollar, the actual weight whereof shall
not be less than seventeen pennyweights
and seventeen grains, and in proportion for
the parts thereof.
2. Spanish pillar dollars and the dollars
of Mexico, Peru and Bolivia, of not less
than eight hundred and ninety-seven thou
sandths in fineness, and four hundred and
fifteen grains in weight, at one hundred
cents each.
3. Dollars of Chili and Central Ameri
ca, of not less weight titan four hundred
and fifteen grains in each, and those re
staniped in Brazil of the like weight, or no
less fineness than ten ounces, fifteen penny
weights of fine silver in the Troy pound of
twelve ounces of standard silver.
4. The five franc pieces of France, of
not less fineness than ten ounces Troy
weight of standard silver, and weighing no
less than three hundred and eighty-four
grains each, at the rate of ninety-three cents
each.
The Secretary of the Treasury is requir
ed by law to cause assays to be held at the
Mint, at least once in every year, of all the
gold coins and of the silver coins, except
* This last power, owing to the inherent diffi
culties of the subject, has not yet been executed.
I Spanish and milled dollars, and to report
the result to Congress.
Cents are not, and never have been, a lo
gal tender, except by implication, for sums
under the low-s.. denomination of silver
coin.
PUTTING A LAUGHING FACE UP
ON A SERIOUS MATTER.
A Story of the Creek Campaign. —While
Gen. Jackson was operating in the Creek
country, some twenty odd years ago, he
invariably gave orders that all encamp
ments should be made near tbe main body
to prevent surprise and alarm ; but be had 1
one officer, Capt. G., who, although a brave
man, was rather lawless, and disposed to ,
prowl and “ bush whack” about on his own i
hook and account. When the main camp 1
fires were lit at night, his would frequently
be seen off on some hill by itself, a mile!
perhaps, from the others, and in a very ex
posed situation. Gen. Jackson finally got
as tired of giving his orders in relation to
encampment as Capt. G. was of receiving
them, and seeing his fire one night on a dis
tant hill, the comintmder sent an aid to ar
rest the brave, but eccentric officer.
‘ Capt. G.,’ said the aid, ‘ I am ordered
to take your sword from you.’
‘ Are you V
‘ I am.’
‘ Well, take the sword to Gen. Jackson, I
and tell him to keep the and and old thing.
1 only gave a dollar and a half for it when ■
it was new, and know where I can get one j
twice as good to morrow for the same mon- i
ev.’ .Yew Orleans Picayune. ‘•
Hints to Make Home 11-ippy. —Punch is ;
not only the wittiest of papers hut is often
the most instructive. You will rarely see
so much good sound sense, mingled with
great satirical humor, as in the following
extract from its columns. The man who
wrote it has evidently boarded in some fami
ly where everything did not go exactly I
straight, with such fidelity has he drawn -
ins picture. We appeal to every married j
man who may sometimes allow the vexa
tion of business to appear in his demeanor 1
at home, if this extract do not indicate most I
acute observation, and we call upon every
one to admire the fun and the wisdom dis
played in it. Punch says:
“To make home happy you must keep j
up the practice of reading the paper during
the whole of breakfast lime ; of allowing j
yourself to be spoken to half a dozen times |
before you answer, and then of asking your ;
wife what it was that she said. Upon her
telling you, make some reply which is noth- ;
ing lo the purpose, as if you were thinking j
of something else. Having been out over
night at an evening parly, which your wife
was prevented from going to by indisposi
tion, entertain her the next morning by a
minute description of tiie young lady you
danced with, descanting on every point as
enthusiastically as possible. Take fre
quent opportunities of praising feature*, and
personal peculiarities which areas diffor
ent as possible fiorn your wife’s. For in
stance, if she has blue eves, say how voi
like black ; if dark hair, how much v u ad
mire light; if she is tail, renn It ,h.; .. :
prefer a moderate height : i.nd r‘ sh- .-
constantly quoting Byron, ii 1! fi
you hate “a dumpy woman
are very particular about 1 ,
Should this be the case .
use it for your foots!
drugget has been laid J
particularly ifit is
forget to scrape vein
quently, on a cold. . ;Le I
room is close, and in w in
dows open On ‘h and” .n,
during the heat of !• §y: * t
with a dullness, wh v t j
keep them shut- V . u.r j
punctually at 5, a: i.. ti'l
a quarter to 6 o’ch*< : -.* |
ever, return at the a: :r : • >t ;
finding things read .0 •_ .
are never attended ■ :'. •ir fir ;-, j, ; •
joint or your vcgeia’ : 1 n-.
cidentallv to be a little u - ■ done,
never smother your 1 Isa j p *mr-nt like
some people, but express it as icrnarkably
as you can, and remain in an ill humor for
the rest of the evening. Be never quite
satisfied with what is set before vou, but,
if possible, find some fault with every dish;
or, if not, quarrel with the arrangements of
the table. If you can find nothing else to
grumble at, think of something that you
would have liked better than what has been
got for you, and say so. Wives occasion
ally make pies and puddings, with a view
to a littlq approbation. Never bestow this,
on any account, hut always say you wished
these things were left to the cook. Know
ing that there is nothing but cold meat in
the house, bring home, every now and then,
half a dozen men, unexpectedly, to take
potluck with you. Your wife will proba
bly sit at table, flurried and uncomfortable;
in which case, amuse them by joking at
her expense. Should you chance after
dinner to be affected by a slight drowsiness,
never resist it because your wife wishes to
chat with you : do not mind her, but go
quietly to sleep. When you have an eve
ning party at your house, come home to
dress just as the company is beginning to
arrive. Should you find yourself, at 11
o’clock at night, among a set of bachelor
friends, and be offered a cigar, always stay
and smoke it, and another after it if you
like, and, if you please, another afier that,
I in fact, a? many as you find agreeable ;
! never trouble yourself for an instant about
: keeping your wife and the servants up.—
1 In short, on all occasions consult studiou®-
311. J. KAFPfiL, Printer.
Ily your own inclinations, and indulge,
j without the least restriction, your every
! whim and caprice, but never regard your
| wife’s feelings at nil; still less, make the
slightest allowance for any weakness or
peculiarity of her character, and your home
will assuredly be as happy as you deserve
that it should be.”
TO WIVES.
Your first consideration before marriage
was, how to please your love. Consider a
ny such endeavour, after marriage, to be
unnecessary and ridiculous; and by way
of amends for your former labour, let your
sole object be, to please yourself.
Be at no pains to look well of a morning.
A long toilet is tiresome ; particularly when
it is cold. “ Taking the hair out” occu
pies nearly ten minutes ; therefore, in curi
papers; also in a tlannei dressing gown;
and, unless you expect cullers, remain in
deshabille, alt day. Husbandsare nobodies,
and comfort is to be studied before appear
ance.
But are you to neglect your attire alto,
getlier ? By no means. Indulge your taste
in dress to the utmost. Be always buying
something new ; never mind the expense of
it. Payments belong to husbands. If you
see a shawl or bonnet in a window, order it.
Should a silk or a muslin attract your eye,
desire it instantly. Ifyour husband is as
tonished at the bill, pout: if he remonstrates
cry. But do not spoil your finery by do
mestic wear. Reserve it for promenades
and parties. It is the admiration of society
that you should seek for, not your he band-.
Be constantly seeing tables, cha .w :t
dow curtains, and otherfurnituro wi.
like better than your own ; and ins.s'. upc.r
their being got. Want to get rid of your
old piano, and have anew one. If your
husband keeps a carriage for you, desire a
better ; if he does not, and cannot afford it.
comp lain. Wl ion ever your desires exceed
his means, look unhappy, and hint how
much more advantageously you might have
married. Never smile and hope for better
things, but make yourhusband feel, as keen
ly as you can, the inadequacy of his means
to support you.
Practice, however, a reasonable econo
my. Take every opportunity of making a
cheap purchase ; and when asked of what
use it is ? reply, that it is “ a^bargain.”
Enjoy ill health. Be very nervous:
and, in particular, subject to fits; which
you are to fly into as often as your husband
is unkind, that is whenever he reasons with
you. Make the most of every little ache
or pain ; and insist upon having a fashion
able physician. There is something very
elegant in illness ; n prettiness in a delicate
constitution ; affect tills attraction if you
have it not; men admire it exceedingly.
Put yourself under no restraint in your
husband’s presence. Sit, 1011, or lie, in just
what way you like, looking only to the ease
of the posture, not to its grace. Leave nici
ties of conversation and sentiment to the sin
>ii ; never mind how you express yo.urself
■why should wives be particular ? When
vi:“ husband wishes to read or be quiet,
■p chattering to him ; the more frivolous
linteresting :!ie subject, the better. If
< i.sposed for c rivcrsation, be dull and
end whenever you see that he is in
in what li*! is talking about, espe
w;-dies you to attend to him,
!;■ 1 p yawning.
two v.*- of discharging your
-I ; duti ‘ If you are languid and
,s. vmi mav let ih :n alone :if not a
bit , y i should be continually turning the
house topsy-turvy, under pretence ofsetting
:t > re-hts You can either let your ser
.is List -s they please; or you may
ally in the kitchen, looking af-
In the* latter case, scold them
f: and in an audible voice, so as
•ib. heard up-stairs. Never think of look
to your husband’s shirt butttons; leave
at to tbe laundress ; or, if you must at
• nd to bis linen, superintend your washing
In person, and have frequent water-parties ;
and, especially in winter, always have the
clothes dried before the parlour tire.
If youi hnsoand has lo go out to a busi
ness-dinner, or to the play, never let him
have the latch-key ; and should he, on any
occasion, stay out late, send the servant to
bed, sit up for him yourself, and make a
merit of the sacrifice to “the wretch.”
Have a female confidant, who will in
struct you in all the ill qualities of hus
bands generally, and will supply any defi
ciences in the above hints. In conclusion,
bear these grand principles in mind—that
men must be crossed and thwarted continu
ally, or they are sure to be tyrants ; that a
woman, to have her rights, must stand up
for them; and that the behaviour which
won a man’s affections, is by no means ne
cessary to preserve them.
“ Willy,” said a doting parent at the
breakfast table, to an abridged edition of
himself who had just entered the grammar
class at the High School, “ Willy, my
dear, will you pass the butter ?”
“ Tliertainly. thir—it takes metoparthe
anything. Butter is a common thubtantive ;
neuter gender, agreethwith hotbuckwhealh
cakthes, and ith governed by thugerhouth
molatheth underthtood.”
A NEW IDEA.
A lecturer lately observed, in thccourso
of his remarks upon some kindred subject,
“ Only think of it, ladies and gentlemen—
’ an old bachelor ! why bo’s a, living libel on
’ his mother and father.”
[VOLUME XXIX.