The gazette. (Elberton, Ga.) 1872-1881, July 16, 1873, Image 1

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giugtt.sta justness ®arfc. Bones, Brown ft Cos., 3. ft S. Bones k Cos., AUGUSTA, GA. KOMI, GA. Established 1825. Established 1869. BONES, BROWN & CO., IMPORTERS And dealers in Foreign & Domestic HARDWARE AUGUSTA GA.. -\TjAJUL,, WITH REAN & CASSEL.S, Wholesale and retail dealers in Foreign and Domestic Dry Goods 209 Broad st., lat stand of H. F. Kassel ft Cos. AUGUSTA, GA. J. MURPHY & CO. Wholesale and retail dealers in English White Granite & C. 0. Ware ALSO, Semi-China, French China, Glassware, fte. No. 244 Broad Street, . AUGUSTA, GA. "^rTMARKWALfERT MARBLE WORKS, BROAD STREET, # * Near Lower Market, AUGUSTA, GA. THS AUGOSTA Gilding, Looking-glass,Picture Frame Factory. Old Picture Frame* Regilt to look Lqual to Aeuf. Old Painting* Carefully Cleaned, Lined and Varnished. J, J. BBOWSH!, Agent, 346 Broad st., Augusta, Ga. E. H. ROGERS, ' Importer'.and dealer in RIK GUNS PISTOLS ; Ajttd Pocket Cutlery, Amm > mition of all Kinds, 246 broad STREET, AUGUSTA, GA. REPAIRING EXECUTED PROMPTLY SCHNEIDER, DEALER tN ' WINES, LIQDORS AND CIGARS AUGUSTA, GA. . Agent forlFr. Sehleifer ft'Co ’s 'San Francisco N CALIFORNIA BRANDY. mum elrqhbtt ehabgpagns. E. R. SCHNEIDER, Augusta, Georgia. H)nton §usiuts Catdjs. =-■' * 1 "O'A ;‘l ": r 3;-' r UOHT J. F. AULD, ®armage^[anufact'r ELBERTON, GEORGIA. BEST WORKMEN! BEST WORK! LOWEST PRICES! Good Buggies, warranted, - $125 l6O Common Buggies - iuu. repairing and BLACKSMITHING. Work done in this line in the very best style. The Best Harness My 22-1 y T M SWIFT- MACK ARNOLD SWIFT & ARNOLD, (Successors to T. if- Swift,) DEALERS IN dry goods, GROCERIES, CROCKERY, BOOTS AND SHOES, HARDWARE, Ac., Public Square, ELBERTO\ T GA. H. K. CAIRDNER, elberton, ga., DEALER IN iky tins, menus, HARDWARE, CROCKERY, BOOTS, SHOES, HATS Notions, &c* ELBERTON FEMALE THE exercises of this institute will be resum* ed on Monday, January 27th, 1873. Spring term, six months. Tuition, $2.50, $3.50, and $5 per month, according to class payable half in advance. Mrs. Hester will continue in charge of the Musical Department. Board in the best families can be obtained at from $lO to sls per month. For further information address the Principal, H. P. SIMS. THE GAZETTE. New Series. JEEEMB AND LIZE ON THEIR WEDDING TOUR. The train from Grafton, a few days since, stopped at one of the way stations, to take on a couple newly married. Both were young, and both were verdant; having been raised in the wilds of Western Virgin ia neither of them had ever been fifty miles from home. They had heard of railways, steamboats, locomotives and hotels, but had never experienced the comforts of the afore mentioned institutions. Jeems and Lise had determined on this, the most important event in their lives, to visit the city and see the world, particularly that portion of it known as Parkersburg. No wonder that they were amused and delighted, when the locomotive, steaming and snorting, with the beautiful, crimson cars following it came in sight. “Thoseyour trunks?” said the baggage master. * “Well, I sorter calculate them’s ’em,” said Jeems. The trunk (a spotted hair trunk and a very old-fashioned valise) were soon in the baggage car, followed by Liae and Jeems. “I’ll be darned if railroads ain’t a fine thing,” said Jeems, seating himself on his luggage and oarefully holding up the tail of his tight-waisted blue, adorned with re splendent metal buttons, out of the dust.— “Lize, set here by me.” “Come out of that,” said the baggage master, “you are in the wrong car.” “The hell I am! D’ye 'spose I don’t know what I’m ’bout ? These is my traps, and I calculate to stay whar they ar*.— Keep quiet Lize; they say we’ve got to fight our way through the world any how, and if that chap with the cap on wants any thing, I’m his man. Don’t wan’t any yer foolin’ round me 1” Here the captain interposed and explain ed matters, insomuch that Jeems consented to leave his traps and follow the captain.— What was his delight when he surveyed the magnificence of the first class passcDger car, into*which he was ushered. His imagina tion had never, in its wildest flight, pictur ed anything half so gorgeous. He was aroused from the oomtemplation of the splendor around him by the shriek of the iron horse. “JewbiHikens! what in the thunder’s that I” ezolaimed Jeeuis. “That's the horse squealing when they punch him in the ribs with a pitchfork, to to make him go along,” said a sleepy indi vidual just behind him. “Look here, stranger,” said Jeeras, “I know you think I’m a darned fool ; maybe lam ; but here’s one thing I know, and that is, that you’ll get your mouth broke, ef you don’t keep it shut. I don’t say much” —just at that moment they found them selves in Egyptian darkness, and then was heard a scream almost equal to that made by the steam engine from Lize, as she threw her around the neck of her dear J eems. “I knew it 1” exclaimed tho sleepy indi vidual; “we are all lost, every mother’s son of us. w* can just prepare to make the acquaintance of the gentleman in black, who tends the big fire down below.” “Oh, Lord 1 Jeems, what will become of us? I felt skeery about gettin’ on the out landish thing at fiist.” “Keep quiet, Lizc 1 hollerin' won’t do any gcod now. Etyou know any prayer, now u your time to say it, for both of us.” “What's the matter here ?” said the as tonished conductor, coming up as the train emerged once more into the light. “That’s just what I’d like to know/’ said Jeems, when he saw that Lize and himsell wfere still alive. “We’ve just passed through Eaton’s tun nel,” replied our polite captain. “How far are you going?” “Well, I reckon we’ll stop at Parkers burg.” “Show your tickets, if you please,” said oonduotor. “Sartinly. Lize, you got some with you! Let this gent look at 'em.” Lize drew a piece of white paper from her reticule, and, with a smile, handed it to the captain who read: The pleasure of your company is respect fully solicited,” etc. “What’s this!” said the captain. “Why, that’s one of the tickets to our weddio’: that’s what you asked for, hain’t it?” said the somewhat surprised Jeems. “Whaw ! whaw ! whaw 1” was the dis cordant sound that arose from the seat of the sleepy looking individual. A bland smile passed over the face of the captain, as he explained the meaning to our verdant friend. He had no tioket, but willingly paid his fare, and the train EEBERTON, GEORGIA, JULY 16, 1873. sped on to its destination. But wonders did not cease here— presently onr pert lit tle newsboy, Billy, entered the car with his papers, attl stepping up to Jeems, he asked : “ Have a Sun, sir ?” “Wa’ll, if I have my way about it, the fu?t one will be a son, sartin,” said Jeems. Lize blushed. “Don’t count your children before they’re hatched,” said Billy, as he hastened to the next car. In due time the train stopped at the big depot in this city. Amid the confusion of strange noises, and. the babble of discord ant voices, our friends landed on the plat form. “Bus, sah ? Bus, sah! free for the United States!” said the sable porter of our up-town hotel. “Lady, take a bus, sah ?” “Wa’ll, I rather 'spose she won’t from anybody but me—reckon I am able to do all in that line she wants, and more, too.” “Go to the Swan House, sah ? right across dis here street—best house in de city. This way, sah ? any baggage.— Have it sent to your room in a few min utes.” In a short time Jeems and his bride found themselves in one of the; comfortable rooms on the second floor of that well-order ed establishment, the Swan House. The baggage was sent up with the usual prompt ness, and our friends were soon nuking their toilet for dinner, Jeems bad his coat and>4toots off in a jiffy, and Lize’s hair fell gracefully over her shoulders. “That’s a duced pretty torse! P’ said Jeems, eyeing the bell-cOrd, “wonder what it’s fur,” catching hold of tl. “Look, it works on a sort of thingumbob. I’d like to have that torsel to put on my horse’s head next muster day; see how it works,” said be, giving it a pull. Presently the door opened, and the sable face of one of Africa’s sons was thrust info the room, with the inquiry, “Ring sah ?” “Ring ? ring what you black ape ? if you do not quit looking at my wife and make yourself scarce, I’ll wring your head off.” “Stop a minit,” said Lize; “what is the name of the man that keeps tLis tav ern ?” “Mr. Conley, marm.” “Well.just tell his lady that she needn’t go to any extra fixings on our account, for we are very plain people,” said the amiable bride. “As they used to say in our debating so ciety,” interrupted Jeems, “I’ll amend that motion by saying, you can tell them the best they’ve got I am able to pay for, and don’t care for expenses.” “Tge-hee ! Tee-hee ! was the only audi ble reply from the sable gent, as he hurried down stairs. Dinner came and was dispatched with a relish. Jeems and his bride took a stroll over the city, seeing the lions and other sights, until supper time, which beiDg over, they retired to their room. The gas was lit by a servant, who received a bright quarter for his services. Jeems was the last in bed, and according to the rule in such cases, had to put out the light, which he accomplished with a blast from his lungs. The noise in the street had died away and quiet reigned in the Swan House. The young man on the watch dozed in his chair. The clerk (rather corpulent) was about to retire when he thought he smelt gas. The guests (some of them) thought they smelt gas. Much against his will, the clerk pro ceeded where the leak was. It seemed stronger in the neighborhood of the room occupied by the bride and groom. The elerk concluded to knock at the door of the room. “Who is there ?” came from the in side. “Open the door ; the gas is escaping,” answered the clerk. “Gas ! what gas ?” said Jeems opening the koor. “Why, here, in the room. How did you put the light out ?” “Blew it out of course,” replied Jeems earnestly. “You splayed h—.” Our amiable elerk came very near saying a bad word, but re membering that there was a lady in the case, or rather in the bed, he choked his rising temper, and having lit the gas, pro ceeded to show Jeems the mystery of the burner, as follows: “You see this little thing here ? When yon vant to put it out, give it a turn this way, and when you want to make it lighter, you give it a turn this way. Serious con- sequences might have resulted if it had not been discovered so soon. It might have suffocated ns all. Now, be careful next time. “Mach obliged. But how the devil did I know the durned stuff was ’scaping ?” re sponded Jeems. “Didn’t you smell anything ?” asked the clerk. “ ’Pears to me I did smell suthin’,” said Jeems. “But, Lize, I’ll be durned if I didn’t think it was you —kase I never slept with a woman afore.” “Well, Jeems, I thought it was you that smelt that way, all the time. I was jest a wondering if all i&en smelt that way. It ’peared strange; but,' then, loever slept with a man afore, in all my life, and I didn’t know anything about it,” was the response of Lize, as she turned over for a nap. The red in the clerk’s face grew smilingly redder as it reflected the light from the jet, and a roguish twinkle lurked in the corner of his eyes, as he turned off the gas and all was dark, and our friends were left in their glory. A sound of suppressed mirth was heard in the reading room for a few minutes, and then all was still. Slaves Yet.—“ What I slaves yet 1” “Yes, Harry, there are slaves now. I saw one yesterday, who was completely un- the control of his master.” “Not in New Hampshire?” “Yes. In the cars his master kept him away from the rest of the company, in a car provided for such slaves. Although quite a young man, his face has a sallow, dried-up lock, with 6leepy, watery eyes.” “He wasn’t black, then ?” “No; he would have been as white as you are if he hadn’t h?d snob % smoked look.” “Oh, I guess I know what you mean, mo ther. Was he a slave to smoking 7” “Yes, Harry, that is what I mean. His master is a little black, dirty cigar. And he is -■* much under its control as the slaves in ißc' VjouCu"were'under the control of their masters.” “Isn’t it a kind of slavery that is enjoya ble, then, mother?” “It is only that kind of enjoyment, when the lowest or animal part of his nature says to the higher, or heavenly part, ‘Get down here and let me trample on you, and crush you under my feet.’ “No boy is born a slave to smoking or drinking, or any of those bad masters. Ev ery man who is steeping his brain in tobacco smoke or liquor, walks right straight into slavery himself. “it aces make a man look so foolish to go along through the world puffing tobacco smoke into people’s faces, and poisoning the sweet air, that I think, when 1 see one, of the old saying, ‘A cigar is a roll of tobacco with fire at one end and a fool at the other.’ ” There is an aged colored woman herea bouts who does not believe in social equal ity, judging from the way.she talks to her boys: “Ephribam, come hyar to yer mudder boy. Whar yer bin ?” “Playin’ wid de wnite folks chiluns.” “Yer is eh. See hyar, chile, yer’ll broke yer ole mudder’s heart, and bring her gray hars in sorro’ to de grave wid yer recklum ness and rings on wid ebil associashuns. Habu’t I raised you up de way you should ought ter go ? “Yessum.” “Habn’t I bin kind and tender wid ye, an treated yer like my own chile, which yer is?” “Yessum.” “Habn’t I reezind wid yer, an prayed wid yer, an deplored de good Lord to wrap yer in his buzzum?” “Yessum.” “Habp't I taught yer to walk in der broad and narrer path, and always to shun God?” “Yessum.” “An isn’t I yer nateral deteeter and gwadjeene fo der law ?” “Yessum.” “Well den, do yer spose I’se gwine to hab yer morals ruptured by de white trash? No, sah ! You get in dei house die insect; an if I eber cotch you municatin’ wid de white trash any more, fo God, nigg, I’ll break yer brack head wid a brick.” “Yessum.” When a Turkish wife forgets to keep the suspender buttons sewed to her husband’s trousers, she is patted on the back for half an hour with a pine board an inch thick.— An African wife is better treated. The frown is chased trom her lofty brow with a flat iron. I * An Albany grandmother of seventy late ly eloped with a young man whose father once tried to capture her in years agone.— She evidently likes the family. Vol. 11-JSTo. 12. For the Gazette.) t A SHORT BERMUN. BY A. C. “Blessed is he that considereth fhe poor, for the Lord will deliver him in time of trouble.— Psalms, xli., 1. The poor we have always with us. God is interested for them. Ho has said the poor shall have the gospel preached unto them; the riches of gospel grace shall be offered them who are poor in this world’s goods, that tb,ey may be rich in faith and heirs of a rich spiritual inheritance in his everlast ing kingdom. God will bless thosejwho care for the poor. He pronounces him blessed who considers the poor, who notices the needy condition of such, thinks of and de vises means to comfort and relieve them. God highly approves and sanctions any con cern we have for the suffering poor, espe cially if our sympathy for them arises from the consciousness that they are God’s poor, and should be taken care of at his com mand, who has blessed us with the means to help them and care for them. God has said “he that giveth to the poor lendeth to the Lord.” Then God intends to repay it again, yi some measure or quantity, accord ing to his wisdom and good pleasure. There fore he says, Blessed is he that considereth tjie poor, the Lord will deliver him in time of trouble. He will make all his bed iD his sickness. When he is poor in health, God will richly favor him and bless him with comfortable provision. Job says he deliv ereth the poor in his affliction and openeth their ears in oppression (Psalms, xxxv.,lo.) Lord, who is like unto thee, whioh deliver est the poot from him that is too strong for him. For he shall deliver the needy when he crieth; the poor also, and him that hath no helper (Psalms, lxxii., 12.) God considers the poor, and he intends that his people shall consider them too. and feel for them and deliver them. The pure religion of the Bible leads its possessor to visit the poor, the fatherless and the widow in their affliction, as well as to keep himself unspotted from th* world. : A:'-. ££. It was a piimary and prominent work of the apostolic Christians to look after the poor and provide for their relief. When this business became so enlarged as to hinder the apostles and ministers from their main business (preaching the word), deacons were ordained to attend to it more particularly, and to minister to the temporal necessities of the poor. (See Acts, vi.) It is a blessed thing to consider tho tem poral poor, and minister to their relief as God may enable us to do. But we should consider the heathen, who are without the gospel, and make every effort to relieve them of their moral blindness; endeavor to send them the Bible, and the living minister to preach to them the unsearchable riches. We should pray for them; they are fellow-crea tures. Consider what has made us to differ from them, who, in their ignorance and blindness, are bowing in worship to dumb idols. God has given us the Bible, the preached gospel; let us try to send it to them. “Shall we whose souls are lighted By wisdom from on high. Shall we to men benighted The lamp of life deny ? The New York Tribune indulges in these words of wisdom about a shrub that vege tates to some extent in this persecuted and down trodden section : The man who first planted the ailantus, or tree of heaven, as it is sometimes called, is probably in a better world—than he de serves. As if the air in town was not evil enough, the offence of gutter and alleyway is overpowered by the vile fragrance of these tree nuisances. The man who could enjoy the shade of the ailantus in blossom could put kerosene on his handkerchief and go take delight in the odors of a ferry boat. Its recommendation is that it har bors no insects. A decent tomato worm would know better than te climb such a tree. - ——— “Julius, was you betterdis morning?” “No, I was better yistiddy, but I got over it.” “Am der nc hopes den ob your discob ery?” “DUcobery ob what ?” “Your discobery from der convalesoenqe dat fotched you on yer back.” “Dat depends, Mr. *Snow, altogether on de prognostications ob de systematic dat am plify de disease ; if dey should terminate fa tally, de doctor tinks Julius am a gone nig ger; should dey not terminate fatally, he hopes dis colored individual won’t die till anoder time.” It is stated that Brigham Young is the father of one hundred and seventeen child ren, with quite a number of precincts to hear from. SPEECH OF 10T DOOLITTLE. ON THE BILL FOR THE PROTECTION OF HEN-ROOSTS. “Mister Speaker: I’ve sot hure in my seat and heered the opponents of this great nashnal measure, and expectorato agin it, till I putty nigh busted with indignant commotions of my lacerated sensibilities. Mister Speaker, are it possible that mn can be so infatuated as to vote agin this bill ? Mr. Speaker, allow me to pictur to your excited and denuded imagination some of the heart rending evils which arise from the want of purteetion to hen-roosts in my vi cinity, among my constituents. Mister Speaker, we will suppose it to be the awful and melancholy hour of midnight —all natur am hushed to deep repose—the solemn winds softly moan through the wav ing branches of the trees, and naught is heerd to break thro’ the solemcholly still ness, save an oeoasional grunt from the hog pen. I will now oarry your imagination to that devoted hen-house. Behold its peaceful and happy intnates gently declining in balmy slumbers on their elevated and ma jestic roosts! Look at the aged and vene rable .rooster, as he keeps his silent vigils with patience and unmitigated watchful* ness over those innocent, helpless, and vir tuous hens and pullets! Just let your eyes glance round and behold that dignified and ma'ronly hen, who watches with tender so licitude and paternal congratulation over those little juvenile chickens who crowd around and nestle under her circumambient wings. Now, I ask, Mister Speaker, am there to be found a wretch so lost and abandoned as will 'enter that peaceful abode, and tear those interesting little biddies from their agonized hsart-broken parents ? Mister Speaker, I answer in thunder tones there am? Are anything so mean and sneaking as such a robbery? No, thar ar not. You may search the {wide universe, from the natives who repoße in solitary grandeer and superlative majesty under the shade of the tall cedars that grow upon tho top of the Himmalah mountains, in the valley of Jehosaphet down to the degraded and barbarous savages who repose in obscurity in their miserable wigwams on the rock of Gibraltar in the gulf of Mexico, and then you so muoh puzzled to find anything so mean, as you would to see the arth revolve around once in twe*t|>foa hours aid of a telescope. Mister T feel that ! JT have said enough on this subject to convinoe the most obstinate member of the unapproach able necessity of a law wbioh shall forev er and everlastingly put a atop to those fowl proceedings, and I propose that every convicted offender shall suffer the penalty of the law as follows: For the first offence he shall be obliged to suck twelve rotten eggs, with do salt on ’em. ; For the teoond offence he shall be ob liged to set on twenty rotten eggs until he hatches ’em. Mister Speaker, all I want is for every member to act on this subject according to his conscientiousness. Let him do this and be will be remembered everlastingly by a grateful posterity. Mister Speaker, I’ve done—Where’s my hat? The eloquent gentleman, according to the Boston Post’s report, here donned his sealed cap and sat down apparently muoh ex hausted. A traveler coming into a towu from the railroad depot, stopped for a moment to ex amine a coat. The proprietor rushed out and asked— “ Would you try on some coats ?” “I dunno but I would,” responded the traveler, cansuiting his watch, and he went in and began work. No matter how often he found his fit he called for more coats, and after he had tried on about thirty he looked at his watoh, again resumed his own garment, and walk ed off saying: “I won’t charge a cent for what I’ve done —hang a man won’t oblige another when he can do it. If I’m around this way again, and you’ve got any more coats to try on, I’ll do all I can to help you.” “Say, boy, pull down those bars, I’m a professor, and I’m in a hurry.” “A professor l What is a professor 1” “A professor is a man that oan do any thing.” “Then, you can pull ’em down, your self." A good Methodist parson, somewhat ac eentrio and an excellent singer, exclaimed to a portion of the congregation who always spoilt the melody: ‘Brothers and sisters, I wish those of you who can’t sing would wait until you get to the celestial regions before you try.’ The hint was a success. An old minister the other day asked a 'woman what oould he do to iuduo* her bus band to attend church. J don’t know, she replied, without you put a pipe and j“g of beer in the pew. General Wm. O. Butler, the Democratic candidate for Vice-President in 1848 on the tioket with General Gass, is still living. He is in his eighty-third year, but a Ken tucky journal says be walks at lea>t six miles each day.