The gazette. (Elberton, Ga.) 1872-1881, July 23, 1873, Image 4

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POETICAL. <ur. For the’Gazette.] A WAIF, “Vita brevis,” says the sage; We must study every page; We must seek, through every age, Knowledge, wisdom, power. “Vita brevis,” says the boy; We must drain the cup of joy j We must seek, without alloy, Pleasure every hour. “Vita fugit”—Life is o’er, Vain, oh prating sage, thy lore; Foolish buy, to you no more Pleasure's dream shall come. “Mors evenit”—naught avails; All that human strength entails; Wisdom youth, e’en virtue fails, When lie summons home. Honor, riches, knowledge, power, Every tree and every flower; All the sweet and all the sour Unto men arc given. Fame and fortune lure the one; After pleasure others run: He does best whose work, when done, Leads the way to Heaven. LAUGHOGEAMS. Why is the earth like a Colt’s pistol"? Because it is a revolver. -New book—“ The Stray Wig,” by the author of “Wandering Heir. A Memphis boy threw a companion in to the river to see if he could swim, but he couldn’t. Little fish have a good notion as to the commencing of life —they always begin on a small scale. A boy pressed the muzzle of a pistol against his body in cocking it, and the bullet came out at his bade. What is the difference between a trick of war and a game cock? One is anise and the other a rooster. A local paper in lowa records the acci dental shooting of a doctor, and has “strong fears of his recovery.” What is the difference between a cloud and a beaten child? One pours with rain and the other roars with pain. If a man named William marry, why is he pretty certain to be henpecked ? Because his wife will always have a Will of her own. “Is your house a warm one, landlord? ’ asked a gentleman in search of a house. “It ought to be,” was the reply; “the painters have just given it two coats. It is a curious fact that poor people, though sometimes given to stealing, are never afflicted with kleptomania. It takes a rich person to have that disease. A young lady wishes to know how it is on the day of wedded bliss the bride groom pledges, “with all my worldly goods I thee endow,” and after his death she only receives the use of a third. A New York female who read that the Hoosac Tunnel cost SUOO per yard, said she would have a dress pattern oft from that piece if the old man didn t lay up a cent for the nest two years. “X never saw so cold a woman as Mrs. is,” said an envious beauty of an other, the other evening. “I feel quite confident that she must give her husband a cold in the head whenever she kisses him.” We always feel mad when we walk along a street about 9 o’clock, and pass ing a shaded porch where a young man is bidding his beloved a good hear the girl exclaim in a loud whisper, “ Oh, stop, George, you haven’t shaved.” The young ladies are getting to be high-toned. W-h-y, y-o-u o-l-d s-a-r-d-i-n-e! Is that you? is the way one fair one sa luted another on the street, and the an gel in bustle and high-heels meekly and poetically responded: “ You bet I’m your katydid every time I” While a couple of women were dis cussing the other day the merits of a cer tain physician, one of them asked the other what kind of a doctor he was. “Sure, I dunno,” was the reply, “but I think its an alatacca doctor they call him.” The ghost of Robert Fulton was call ed up at a spiritual “seance” in Philadel phia the other day, and his communica tion from the other shores was as fol lows: “They give me to eat of nothing but cold waffles up here, and if it keeps on I shall break Gabriel’s head with his own trumpet.” A party gf men were watching with a corpse recently, in Russville, Tenn.,wlien the “corpse” suddenly “came too.” The watchers “went too,” and never stopped to say good-night. It is thought that some of them are going yet, and proba bly they will never return until the “body” advertises for them. Tho temperance cause in Kentucky has been set back by the announcement that ono of the few water thinkers in that State has just discovered at the bottom of his well the body of a neighbor who disappeared four years ago; and the ma jority of the people have determined to stick to whiskey, and let wells alone. An exchange tells of the recont sur prise of a Sunday-school teacher. She had been explaining the story of the crucifixion to her class of little boys, who seemed to take great interest in it. When she thought they fully understood the subject, one of them suddenly burst out and said: “By golly, TO hot you they wouldn’t have done it if Buffalo Bill’d been there. Here is the old, old story again. Jus. Rogers, a miner, undertook to thaw out a can of nitre-glycerine in a blacksmith shop. The blacksmith shop is not there any more, and a shattered foot found a quarter of a mile distant looks like one James used to wear. People who profess to know about such things are fully con vinced that the cun was thawed out. A SPIDER’S BRIDGE. The way in which a spider spins and uses his web is often very remarkable. A writer in the Hearth and Home gives this curious instance: “One chilly day, he says, I was tired of reading Robinson Crusoe; I caught a spider and brought him into the house to play with. Funny kind of mate wasn’t it? Well, I took a washbasin and fastened up a stick in it, like a lib erty pole or a vessel’s mast, and then poured in water enough to turn the mast into an island for my spider, whom I named Crusoe, and put on the mast. As soon as he was fairly cast away, he anx iously commenced running around to find the road to the main land. He’d scamper down the mast to the water, stick out a foot, get it wet, shake it, run around the stick and try the other side, and then run back up top the to again. Pretty soon it became a serious matter with Mr. Robinson, and he sat down to think over it. As in a moment he acted as if he wanted to shout for a boat, and was afraid he was going to be hungry. I put a little molasses on the stick. A fly came, but Crusoe wasn’t hungry for flies just then. He was homesick for his web in the comer of the woodshed. He went slowly down the pole to the water and touched it all around, shaking his foot like pussy when she wets her stock ing in the grass, and suddenly a thought appeared to strike him. Up he went like -a rocket to the top and commenced play ing circus. He held one foot in the air, then another, and turned around two or three times. He got excited and nearly stood on his head before I found out what he knew, and that was this, that the draft of air made by the fire would carry a line ashore on which he could es cape from his desert island. He pushed out a web that went floating in the air until it caught on the table. Then he hauled on the rope until it was tight, struck it several times to see if it was strong enough to hold him, and walked ashore. I thought he had earned his liberty, so I put him back in his wood shed again.” A GOAT STORY. A retired clergyman is responsible for the following little affair that happened in his place: It appears that there was a young wo man, a fine spirited girl, engaged at a wash-tub opposite an open door. Just behind her was a young man, as is gen erally the case, and in the yard was an old buck that was allowed the freedom of tho premises, which is not always the case, we are glad to say. Well, this buck came up to the door and looked in, and the young man going close behind the young woman, pointed his finger straight to the buck, and the old fellow, recogniz ing at once the pressing character of this mute invitation, put down his head and dashed forward, and the miserable man stepped aside and fled, and the young wo man, all unconscious of the arrangement, received the awful shock without warn ing and passed over the tub, and the air for an instant appeared to be full of slippers and wet clothes and hot water and suds. And the next minute that goat came flying out of that door at a dreadful speed, bald the whole length of his spine, and with a wild look in his eye. And for an hour afterwards he stood back of the barn, scratching his chin, and trying to recall all the circumstances in tho unfortunate affair. Jim Gmnpins was a very clever, nice, good dispositioned, thick-headed sort of a fellow, and was tlic butt of all the girls in bis neighborhood. The most brilliant thing he ever said was when some of the fair teasers questioned him one day in regard to his powers of memory. “How far back in youi' lifetime can you remember, Jim?” “ Oh, I can remember the day I was born,” was the reply. “Tho day you were bom!” exclaimed one of the younger ladies of the party. “Why, Jim, what can you remember of that day?” “ Oh, I can remember very distinctly that on the day I was born I sat on a lit tle stool in the corner of the fireplace and cried for fear I was a girl.” In a San Francisco court the other day, a little dialogue ran thus: Counsel to witness —“You say you were at liis house every night?” “Yes, sir.” “Were you his partner?” “No,,'sir.” “ Any relative of, his ?” “No.” “What were you doing at liis house every night?" “I was sparking his wife’s sister.” A somewhat juvenile dandy said to a fair partner at a ball: “Miss, don’t you think my mustaches arc becoming?” To which miss replied : “Well, sir, they may be coming, but they haven’t yet arrived." NOT SO SMART AFTER ALL. A crafty chap, with the sarpint of de ceit squirming in his heart, became the possessor of a S2O greenback. His wife was a woman who indulged in the con jugal custom of nightly searching his pockets for nomadic scrip. Sometimes she performed this ceremony of investi gation while her husband was enjoying ing that sweet and innocent slumber which is only produced by brewings of malt and hops, fuming upon the brain. But when the wily chap got his S2O greenback, he wadded it up, and with diabolical deceit he put it in his tobacco box, and shut down the cover with a snap that spoke of the greedy satisfac tion that rioted in his soul. He was seen to wink horribly'and heard to mut ter, “ Guess the old gal wouldn’t think of that.” That evening, before going home, he drank freely in celebration of his match less cunning. On his way home he com forted himself in his lonely walk with a cud of tobacco of unusual proportions. It disagreed with him and he spat it out. The next morning he woke up to the dis covery that his S2O greenback was gone, and that all his wiles and arts were, after all, weak and unreliable pretence. INDEPENDENT AND FEARLESS. Here is anew outburst of the west ern salutatory mania: “With our publication we want to please everybody, but never having ac quired the nack of placing each person’s advertisement at the head of the first column, we don’t expect to. We don’t mean to be very 4 touching ’ in our per sonal remarks, but if as a reform educa tor, or anything of the kind, we dis please any parties, it may be well for them to consider the fact, before taking • means of summary vengeance in their hand, that our weight is always over one hundred and fifty pounds, and that in the many leisure moments we have had the pleasure of entertaining in our ear lier career, we went heavy into the prac tice of hoisting two hundred pound an vils over our head, holding bags of flour at arms’ length, and other feats for mus cular developement. This is not told as a dampener to any of the pugilistic spir its of this community, but to let people know' that we are ‘independent and fear less.’ ” ■ ■ Shot. —An active newsgatherer at St. Johnsville made rapid time to a storey in that village on information that a man had got shot there ten minutes previous ly. The obliging merchant told him that a man got a pound and paid for it. The reporter neglected to have the facts pub lished. A young man in Connecticut, having the late railroad disasters in his mind, has broken his engagement with a young lady, because she wears a train and is negligent about her switch. SX-1860-X IS PURELY A VEGETABLE PREPARATION, com posed Bimply of well-known ROOTS, HERBS and FRUITS, combined with other properties', which in their nature are Cathartic, Aperient, Nu. tritious, Diuretic, Alterative and Anti-Billious. The whole Is preserved in a sufficient quantity of spirit from the BUOAK. CAXE to keep them in any; climate, which makes the PLANTATION Bitters one of tho most desirable Tonics and Cnthßr in the world. They arc intended strictly as a . Temperance Bitters only to be used as a medicise, and always according to directions. They are the sheet-anchor of*tho feeble and debili tated. They act upon a diseased liver, and stimulate to such a degree that a healthy action is at once brought about. Asa remedy to which Women arc especially Bubjectit is superseding even, other stimulant. Asa Spring and Summer Tonic they have no equal. They are a mild and gentle Purgative as weU as Tonic. They Purify the Blood. They are a splendid Appetiser. They make the weak strong. They purify and invigorate. They cure Dyspepsia, Constipation an 4 Headache. They act as a specific inall species of disorders which undermine the bodily strength and break down the animal spirits, , Depot, 53 Park Place, New York. New Goods! New Goods! J. H. JONES & C O. Have just opened a beautiful assortment of PRINTS, SHOES AND CLOTHING New Designs, Latest Styles, Very Attractive. We cordially invite all to call and see our Stock "before pnroliasing. PRICES TO SUIT THE TIMES. a. full Stock of Groceries and Provisions Always on Hand, TO WHICH W’E INVITE THE ATTENTION OP PLANTERS. TEMPTING PRICES AT THE Southern Dry Goods Store 189 ST., AUGUSTA, GA. OLD PRICES GIVING WAY TO NEW ONES. BARGAINS ALL OVER THE STORE. We are determined not to carry over any Spring or Summer Goods at all, therefore all persons in need of anything usually kept in a first class Dry Goods Store should not delay calling on us at once or send for samples.. BARGAINS IX DRESS GOODS. Including Silks, Poplins, Grenadines, Japanese Cloths, Batiste Cloths, Muslins, Cambrics, white and colored Lawns, &c. BARGAINS In Hamburg Trimmings, Kid Gloves, Hosiery, Fancy Goods, Notions, &c. EXTRA BARGAINS In Lace Points —a beautiful assortment, from $2.50 to $75, and many other articles too numerous to mention. In all orders from samples sent we pay the express charges when retail bills amount to $lO or over. Before You Buy, Go To POWELL & MULLER’S, 189 Broad st. The People’s Clothing Store THE LARGEST HOUSE IN THE STATE, 268 Broad st., Augusta, W. A. RAMSEY, Agent. WE offer this season the largest line of Fine, Medium and Common Ready-made Spring and Summer CLOTHING for Men and Boys in the State. We have some of the most elegant goods that can be found, and every article of our own make, and equal to custom work, together with the finest line of FURNISHING GOODS in the city. HATS, CAPS, DRUNKS, VALISES, &c. New Goods constantly arriving. Large men or small will find no trouble in getting fitted. Boys rom 2j to 20 years old can be suited. No one should purchase Clothing before examining this immense stock. ap 23 XV. A. RAMSEY, Agent. NEW SPRING GOODS! TO THE STORE OF- ■ S.. BLACKWELLS SON WHO ARE FAST RECEIVING A LARGE AND JUDICIOUSLY SELECTED STOCK OF THE MOST ATTRACTIVE GOODS. SOMETHING WORTH REMEMBERING evn BSSBft KRAS, IS NOW IN new YORK, CULLING GEMS FROM ALL TDK ’jAKC-E importing houses, in the United States, and feels confident that for Style, Quality & Cheapness HIS SELECTIONS WILL BE HARO T 9 SURPASS. @s® 8S8I3I& mmm Is coming in rapidly, and we cordially invite all to visit us daily, as there will be something NEW, ATTRACTIVE AND NOVEL Every day, and it affords us pleasure to display them, whether you buy or not. We will sell to COL.VTai' MERCHANTS at Blew York quo a tlons lor CASlfc. For approved City Acceptance wc will sell on a credit to Ist October next, adding U per cent interest per month. Apply with perfect confidence in our willingness and ability to serve you as well as any house South, and you will not be disap pointed. Very Respectfully, KEAN & CASSELS. DOZIER & WALTON 241 BROAD STREET, AUGUSTA, GA. ■FOK SALE. In Store and to Arrive. 100 Hhds. Bacon SHOULDERS. !>0 Huds. Bacon SIDES. lOu Ilhds. Reboilcd MOLASSES 20 Hhds. Cuba MOLASSES 20 luncheons Demarara MOLASSES 200 Barrels Reboiled MOLASSES d0 Harr, Is New Orleans MOLASSES 40 Hhds. New Orleans SUGARS. 35 Ilhds. Demarara SUGARS 150 Barrels Refined SUGARS 50 Tierces RICE 150 Tierces Choice Leaf LARD 150 Kegs Choice Leaf LARD 150 Boxes Dale SOAP 150 Boxes and half boxes Adamantine CAN DLES 100 Bags Rio, Java and I.nguyra COFFEE. 325 Boxes Well-cured Bulk C. R SIDES 50 Boxes Well-cured Bulk SHOULDERS. Brooms, Woodware, Spices, Starch, Matches, Chewing and Smoking Tobacco, Twines, Wrap ping paper, at lowest wholesale prices. WALTON, CLARK. & CIO., Mch2(J-tf Augusta, Georgia. E. O. ROGERS, 147 and 149 Broad Street. AUGUSTA, GA. 'I am now offering a very superior stock of FURNITURE Of all grades, comprising Parlor, Chamber, Din ing-room, Hall and office Furniture, in great va riety of style. My stock of Chamber Suites is especially varied, being the best in the city. UNDERTAKINGS-. My Undertaking department is now fully or ganized, and I am prepared to furnish Coffins, Cases, and Caskets in all the varieties, from the best manufactory and ot my own make. HI ETA LIC CASKS from the most ap proved makers always on hand. Experienced attendants. Calls attended at all hours. Apply at night, or on Sundays, in yard at rear of store at 102 GREENE ST., second Uonse below City Hall. [Myl4-3m 3fc§al Administrator’s Sale. WILL be sold before the courthouse door iu Elber'pn, Elbert county, on the first Tues day in July next, between the legal hours ot sale, the undivided one hundred and twenty eighth part of a lot or parcel of land in the ninth (9th) district of the second (2d) section of originally Cherokee (now Fannin) county. Said lot or parcel known in said district and said section as No. 18—the whole lot contain, ing one.hundred and sixty acres,'more or less. Sold as the property of Mrs. Elmira Sullivan, late of Elbert county, deceased, by virtue of an order from the court of Ordinary of said county, for the benefit of creditors and heirs of said de ceased. Terms, Cash. April 1,’73. J. I. CHANDLER, Admin’ t. GEORGIA, Elbert County,—Notice is hereby given to all persons concerned that on the sth day of April, 1873, Jonathan G. Nelms, late of Elbert county, departed this life intestate, and no person applying for administration on the es tate of said Jonathan G. Nelms, and that in termg ot the law administration will be vested in the Clerk of the Superior Court, or some other fit and proper person, thirty days after publication ot this citation, unless some valid objection be made to his appointment. Given under my hand and official signature,- this 9th day of June, 1873. JAS. A. ANDREW, Ordinary. Citation for Cotters ol'lVsmissioii O TATE of Gorgia, Elbert County: Whereas Wru OH. Teasly, guardian aud administrator of John 11. 11. Teasley, represents to the court in his peti tion,duly filed and entered on record, that he has fully administered John Id. 11. Teasley’s estate, this is therefore to cite all persons concerned, kindred and creditors, to show cause, if any they can, why said admini.stratorshonld not be discharged from his administration and receive letters ot dismission on the first Monday in September, 1873. Jas. A. Andkbw, Ordinary. notice:. ALL persons indebted to the estate of George T. Williams are requested to make imme diate payment, else they will he sued. The claims will be found in the hands of E. I’. Edwards, Esq,-. Elberton, Ga. J. D. HILL, Adln'r. May 5, 1873. ANDREW MALE HIGH SCHOOL, ELBERTON. GA- P. E DAVANT, A M., - - Principal. GEO. Q. QUILLIAN, - - Assistant Spring term commences Monday, Jan. 27,1872. fpHE course of instruction in this institution -L is thorough and by the analytic system. The pupils are taught to think and reason for* themselves. Boys will be thoroughly prepared for any class in college. Those desiring aspeedy preparation for business can lake n shorter course in Analytic Arithmetic, Surveying, Book keeping, &e. The discipline of the school will be firm and inflexible. An effort will be raadeiu all eases to control students by appealing to their sense of duty and honor, but at all events the discip line will bo maintained. Rates of Tuition: Ist class, $2,50 pef-mon th ; 2d class, $3.50; 3d class, ss—one-naif in ad vance. Board in good families $lO per month An Unparalleled Offer! V/a want to add 100,000 Subscribers to tho sub scription list of tho SOUTHERN MAGAZINE miUiNti IST3. Will you be one of them P We think you will’wheu we tell you that we will give you $24 for $4.50! How? Look and see. We will send the SOUTHERN MAGAZINE, the subscription pnoo.of which is $4 per annum, and. A Splendid Steel Engraving, 29x35 INCHB9,. THE BURIAL OF LATANE For $4.50. Retail Price of Engraving, $20.00 Wo boldly assert that no such liberal offer has ever been made by any Magazine North or South. We do not ask you to subscribe until you seo both tho Engraving and tho Magazine, and to en able you to do this we have appointed the Editor of this Paper our Agont. He will be pleased to show you both. TIIMBIJLL BROTHERS^ Publishers, isalilmorc. Change of Schedule ON THE GEORGIA AND MACON AND AU GUSTA RAILROADS. On and after Wednesday, June sth, 1872, tho Passenger trains on the Georgia and .Macon and Augusta railroads will run as follows : Georgia Railroad—Pay Passenger Train. LEAVE AKIUVE Augusta 8 20 a m I Atlanta ........O' 10 p n Atlanta 815 am | Augusta 530 p m Night Passenger Train. LEAVE ARRIVE Augusta 8 15 p m | Atlanta 6 45 a m Atlanta 8 00 p mj Augusta C 00 a m Macon and, Augusta R. R.—Dug Passenger Train , LEAVK AUIUVK Augusta,...,.l2 13 u m I Macon... 7 80 p m Macon 630a m | Augusta 115 p m No change of cars between Augusta and Macon Passengers from Athens, Atlanta, Washing ton, or any point on the Georgia Railroad and branches, by taking the Day Passenger Train will make connection at Camak with trains for Macon. Pullman’s (first-class) Palace Sleeping Cars on all Night Passenger Trains on the Georgia Railroad; and first-eLss Sleeping Oars on all Night Trains on the Macon and Augusta R. It. S. K. JOHNSON, Supt. 2he Oldest Furniture House in the State* PLATT" BROS. Ql3 & 214 Broad St. AUGUSTA, GA., Keep always on Land the latest styles of FURNITUKJE Os every variety ruanvfactured, from the lowest to the highest grades CHAMBER, PARLOR, DINING-ROOM, AND LIBRARY COMPLETE SUITS, OR SINGLE PIECES. At prices which cannot fail to suit the purchaser UNDERTAKING, In all its branches, METALLIC CASES AND CASKETS, of various styles and make; im ported Wood Caskets and Cases, of ev ery known design and finish; Cof fins and Caskets of our own make, in mahogany, rose wood and walnut An accomplished undertaker will be in at ttendance at all hours, day and night