The gazette. (Elberton, Ga.) 1872-1881, August 13, 1873, Image 4

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

POETIC Alj. A QUIET LITE. Slowly, steadily, under the moon, Swings the tide in its old-time way ; Never too late, and never too soon, And the evening and morning make the day Slowly, steadily, over the sands, And over the rocks to fall and flow, And this wave has touched a dead man’s hands, And that one has seen a face we know. They have borne the good ship on her way, Or buried her deep from love and light; And yet, as they sink at our feet to-day, ‘Ah ! who shall interpret their message aright? For their separate voices of grief and cheer Are blending at last in one solemn tone; And only this song of the waves I hear, “ Forever and ever Ilis will be done.” Slowly, steadily, to and fro, Swings our life in its weary way; Now at its ebb, and now at its flow— And the evening and morning make the day. SorrotV end happiness, peace and strife, Fear fl,nd rejoicing its moments know— How, from the discords of such a life, Can the clear music of heaven flo ■ ? Yet to the eaV of God it swells, And to the blessed round the throne, Sweeter than the chimes of Sabbath bells— “ Forever and ever His will is doue.” LAUGHOGRAMS. Why is a lovely young lady like a hinge ? Because she is something to a dore. It is wonderful how the blind beggars in a city can tell the difference between ten cents and a quarter. How would you express, in two let ters, that you were twice the size of your companion ? I W—l double you. The widow of a dead Chicago man has put a five-ton monument over him to keep him down. A man who applied to one of our citi zens for help for his destitute children, being asked what he needed, said he was not particular. “If he couldn’t get bread he would take tobacco.” An enterprising dog in Utica secured samples from the clothing of eight light ning rod peddlers within half an hour af ter a recent thunder storm. New Jersey people don’t say “liar” right out, but remark : “Sir, you remind me of my lamented brother, who could pervert truth with the greatest ease.” Why are you forever humming that air! Foote asked a man without a sense of time in him. Because it haunts me. No wonder, said Foote; you are forever murdering it. Why is a man wlio makes additions to a false rumor like one who has confid ence in all that is told him ? Because he re-lies on all that he hears. “What’s the date of your bustle?” was what an anxious papa asked his well dressed daughter, after searching for the latest copy of his paper. The most wide-spread case of liver complaint on record is in a house where thirty boarders have it. But it is cheap er than other meat. A gentleman lying in bed one morn ing was informed that he had better get up quick, breakfast was just coming Tip. “Let it come,” he replied defiantly, “it will find me ready to meet it!” “Why do you set your cup of coffee on the chair, Mr. Jones ?” said a worthy landlady one morning at the table. “It is so weak, ma'am, I thought I would let it rest.” A cloth saturated with chloroform and applied to the wound is said to be a cure for rattlesnake bite. Mountain tourists have a remedy that beats chloroform all to pieces.jj There’s an old lady with false teeth out West who wants to know if the Yan kees can’t invent some new way of put ting on pillow-cases; meanwhile she nails the cases against the wall and drops the pillows in. A debating society discussed the ques tion, “Is it wrong to cheat a lawyer? ’’Af ter full discussion and mature delibera tion, the. decision was as follows: “Not wrong, but too difficult to pay for the trouble.” Modest assurance —Lady of the house: “Well, Millicent, how do you like your new horse, ‘Roland?’ ” Robert, first cousin to Millicent: “Run away with you if you gave him a chance? By George, if I can judge of Roland’s feelings by my own, I should just think he would/’ “ James Jones,” said a schoolmaster to his pupil, “what is an average T “A thing, sir,” answered the scholar promptly, “that hens lay on.” “Why do you say that, you silly boy.” “Because, sir,” said the youth, “I heal’d a man say the other day a hen would lay on an average a hundred and twenty eggs a year.” A negro witness on a horse trial in & New Jersey court was asked to explain the difference between a box stall and a common stall. Straightening himself up, he pointed to the square enclosure in which the judge was seated, and said, “Dat ar’s what I calls a box stall, dere whar dat old hoss is sittin !” It took the sheriff some tune to restore order in that court. Editorial courtesy in a neighboring State is thus exemplified by a cotempo rary’s reference to a brother journalist: “A nasty puppy, in the person of the editor of a “weakly” newspaper, emanat ing from a mudhole somewhere in the northeastern part of this State, has tak en it into his pate to bark at us; but we are acquainted with the silly cur, and feel not the least bit alarmed, as the im pudent little pup is too cowardly to 1 ite.” ALL DRUNK. A merchant going home elevated, stag gered against a telegraph pole. “ Beg your pardon,” said he; “Ihope no offence. It’s rather dark, and the street is narrow, you see.” In a few minutes he came in contact with another pole. “ Couldn’t help it, sir,” said he, lifting his hat; “I never saw such crooked lanes as we have here in this city.” Again he ran foul of a pole, this time with a force which sent him backwards to the ground. “Look here, neighbor, you needn’t push a fellow down because he happens to touch you; the road is as much right to be here as you have, old stick-in-the mud.” He picked himself up, and made an other effort to reach his home, but he soon came plump against another pole. “ I shan’t make any more apologies,” said he. “If you get into the middle of the street and stand hi the way, that’s your look out, and not mine.” Proceeding on his journey again, and becoming angry and dizzy, he seemed to be entangled into an inextricable laby rinth of telegraph poles, which led him to make a general speech. “ Gentlemen, you are not doing the fair thing. You do not give a man a chance. You run from one side of the street to the other, right in my way.” Just then he met a friend, and taking him by the hand, he said: “There is a procession going along the street, and every man is drunk; they have been running against me all the way from the club. I knocked one of the fellows down, and one of the fellows knocked me down, and then a lot of them got around me, and I believe they would have licked me within an inch of my life if you had not come to my res cue. Let us get out of this street be fore the procession comes back, for they are all drunk.” BUSINESS. There once lived a rolicking lawyer —we will call him John Martin—who had many virtues and few faults. He would give away his last, and conse quently was often dead broke. One day lie must attend court at a distance, but found himself without funds. Bushing breathlessly into the office of a banker, holding in his hand the promissory note on a well known man for twenty dollars, he hastily exclaimed: “Here, Bill, what will you give mo for that? Quick! train’s waiting.” “Nineteen dollars and a half,” said the banker. “All right!” cried John. “Give me the stamps.” And in a moment he was off for the cars. An instant and he was followed and overtaken by the banker, who said: “Look here, John; credits on the back of this note, fifteen dollars.” “I know it,” replied he. “Will you pay it back?” “Not a cent. You set the price—l took it.” “You’re an infernal scoundrel!” “ Now, see here,” said John, “ what’s the use! I can bring twenty handsom er men than you who will say the same thing.” It was one of John’s virtues, this calmness Tinder trying circumstances, and it so charmed the purchaser of the note that he never made another effort to get the money. An Irishman went for the first time to a play. Just as the drop curtain de scended, after the first act, an engine in the basement exploded and the Celt was blown through the roof, alighting in the next square. His first remark after com ing to his senses, was. “And what the devil do they play next ?” An Illinois widow who fainted away at the grave of her husband and remain ed in a fit all night was married four weeks after. Has been before the American public OVER THIRTY years. It has never yet failed to give perfect satisfaction, and has justly been styled the panacea-for all ex ternal Wounds, Cuts, Burns, Swellings, Sprains, Bruises, &c., Ac., for Man and Bieast. No family should be a single day MOLLIE WATERMAN AND HER DOG. In the private album of the Chief of Police, where all the celebrated women’s pictures, or “mugs of the Mollies” at tached to the rogue’s gallery, are kept, there are many striking faces, some fair, beautiful and proud, others soft and del icate, others pinched and sharp, while again are those intellectual, and with the stamp of refinement and wealth. Mol lie Waterman’s picture is one of these. It is that of a plain, cold woman, just like that of a statue would be, with her black hair folded back and bound around her head, while her dress of rich black is caught by the throat with a heavy clasp. By her side, with its head in her lap and its intelligent eyes looking eagerly into her face, is a black and tan terrier dog of the medium size and with a plain collar. A singular picture to see in a gallery of thieves, yet probably the most singu lar pan found in the long lines of fa ces. Mollie Waterman never stole herself. She trained her dog. Going into the store, she selected various costly laces, jewelry, etc., and, looking at them, placed them back with a particular mo tion of her hand, shortly going out of the store. The dog remained, and seiz ing the article when the showman’s back was turned, made with it to her room, where it was received by Mollie and the dog rewarded. For years she plied this with success, until one day the dog was caught there. Unheeding of herself, she surrendered, imploring for the life of her favorite. The picture of the two were, however, taken together, and then the dog was killed, the body being inhumanly tluown into the cell where the woman lay. So the police left them; but, when they returned with the morning, she was found dead, poisoned by her own hand, lying with her steadfast friend. There was a rude inquest of course— a coroner and a joking crowd—but when the two were tumbled into their old box out into the Potter’s Field, there were closed out forever two who might be an example to many loving friends. “See itty dackass, mamma, staffin' all loney in the picsur!” “Yes dear.” “Nursey been tollin’ Donney all about itty dackass. He hasn’t any mamma to make him dood, an’ no kind nurny’t all. Poor itty dacksss hasn’t dot no Bidzet to dess him clean and nice, an’ be hasn’t any overtoat yike Donney’s ’t tdj. Oo solly, mamma?” “Yes dear.” “Poor itty dackass ! Dot noboly ’tall too turl his hair pritty, an’ he hatf’t dot no soos or tockies on his foots. Jot to yun an’ tick all day in e dirt. Tai?t ev er be put to sleep in his itty beck'y ’tall. Mamma!” “What, Johnny?” A v “I wiss I was a itty dackass !'*’ HOW TO CHOOSE A GOOD GOT. A writer in the Northwestern 3&rm er says: The crumply horn is a goal indi cation ; a full eye another. H< ■ head should be small and short. Avid the Roman nose; this indicates lliin milk and but little of it. See that sheis dish ed in the face—sunk between tl t eyes. Notice that she is what stock me] i call a good handler—skin soft and loc le, like the skin on a dog. Deep from tl fe loins to the udder, and a very slim tail. A cow with these marks never fails t( be a good milker. The recent test of Fire-Proof Safes by the English Government proved the superiority of Alum Filling. No other Safes filled with Alum and Plaster-of-Paris. MARVIN & CO., 265 Broadway, N. Y., 721 Chestnut St., Phila. without this Liniment. The money re funded unless the Liniment is as repre sented. Be sure and get the genuine MEXICAN MUSTANG LINIMENT. Sold by all Druggists and Country Stores, at 25c., 60c. and SI.OO per Bottle. Notice style, size of bottle, &c. r New Goods! New Goods! J. H. JONES & CO. Have just opened a beautiful assortment of PRINTS, SHOES AND CLOTHING New Designs, Latest Styles, Very Attractive. 'W'e cordially invite all t° call and see onr Stock before purchasing. PRICES TO SUIT THE TIMES. a Full Stock of Groceries and Provisions Always on Hand, TO WHICH WE INVITE THE ATTENTION OF PLANTERS. TEMPTING PRICES AT THE Southern Dry Goods Store 189 ST., AUGUSTA, &A-- OLD PRICES GIVING WAY TO NEW ONES. BARGAINS ALL OVER THE STORE. We are determined not to carry over any Spring or Summer Goods at all, therefore all persons in need of anything usually kept in a first-class Dry Goods Store should not delay calling on us at once or send for samples. BARGAINS IN DRESS GOODS. Including Silks, Poplins, Grenadines, Japanese Cloths, Batiste Cloths, Muslins, Cambrics, v late and colored Lawns, &c. BARGAINS In Hamburg Trimmings, Kid Gloves, Hosiery, Fancy Goods, Notions, &c. EXTRA BARGAINS In Lace Points —a beautiful assortment, from $2.50 to $75, and many other articles too numerous to mention. In all orders from samples sent we pay the express charges when retail bills amount to $lO or over. Before You Buy, Go POWELL & MULLER’S, 189 Broad st. The People’s Clothing Store THE LARGEST HOUSE IN THE STATE, 268 Broad st., Augusta, W. A. RAMSEY, Agent. tty E offer this season the largest line of Fine, Medium and Common Ready-made Spring and W Summer CLOTHING for Men and Boys in the State. We have some of the most elegant goods that can be found, and every article of our own make, and equal to custon work, together with the finest line of FURNISHING GOODS in the city. HATS, CAPS, CRUNKS, VALISES, &c. New Goods constantly arriving. Large men or small will find no trouble in getting fitted. Boys rom 2* to 20 years old can be suited. No one should purchase Clothing before examining this mmense stock. ap 23 AY. A. RAJMStiY, Igeiil. NEW SPRING GOODS 1 zen 6BME ®mi COME SIS! TO THE STORE OF S.D. BLACKWELLISON WIIO ARE FAST RECEIVING A. LARGE AND JUDICIOUSLY SELECTED STOCK OF TIIE MOST ATTRACTIVE GOODS. SOMETHING WORTH REMEMBERING ’ OUR BUYER (MR. KEAN) IS NOW IN NEW YORK, CULLING GEMS FROM ALL THE LARGE IMPORTING HOUSES, in the United States, and feels confident that for Style, Quality & Cheapness HIS SELECTIONS WILL BE HARD TO SURPASS. ess mmm& mem Is coming in rapidly, and we cordially invite all to visit us daily, as there will be something \IIW. ATTRACTIVE AAR NOVEL Every day, and it affords us pleasure to display them, whether you buy or not. We will sell to COIM’ISV IIERCIIAJVTS at Blew VoiU quota tions lor t VSII. For approved City Acceptance we will sell on a credit to Ist October next, adding lj per cent interest per month. Apply with perfect confidence in our willingness and ability to serve you as well as any house South, and you will not be disap pointed. Very Respectfully, mehia _ 4 KEAN & CASSELS. DOZIER & WALTON BROALD STREET, -A-UGrTTST-A., GA E. G. ROGERS, 14 y and 149 Broad Street. AUGUSTA, GA. I am now offering a very superior stock of FURNITURE Of all grades, comprising Parlor, Chamber, Din ing-room, Hall and office Furniture, in great va riety of style. My stock of Chamber Suites is especially varied, being the best in the city. UNDERTAKING. My Undertaking department is now fully or ganized.and lam prepared to furnish Coffins, Cases, and Caskets in all the varieties, lrom the best manufactory and of my own make. MET.4I.iC CASES from Ihe most ap proved makers always on hand Experienced attendants. Calls attended at all hours. Apply at night, or on Sundays, in yard at rear .of store at 102 GREENE ST., second house below City Hall. [Myl4-3m FOR SALE. In Store and to Arrive. 100 Ilhds. Bacon SHOULDERS. t 0 Buds. Baoon SIDES. 100 Hhds. Reboiled MOLASSES 20 Ilhds. Cuba MOLASSES 20 p uneheons Demarara MOLASSES 200 Barrels Reboiied MOLASSES 60 Barrels New Orleans MOLASSES 40 Ilhds. New Orleans SUGARS 35 Ilhds. Demarara SUGARS 150 Barrels Refined SUGARg 50 Tierces RICE 150 Tierces Choice Leaf LARD 150 Kegs Choice Leaf LARD 150 Boxes Bale SOAP 150 Boxes and half boxes Adamantine CAN DLES 100 Bags Rio. Java and Laguyia COFFEE. 325 Boxes Well-cured Bulk C. It SIDES 50 Boxes Well-cured Bulk SHOULDERS. Brooms, Wood ware, Spices, Starch, Matches-, Chewing and Smoking Tobacco, Twines, Wrap ping paper, at lowest wholesale prices. WALTON, CLARK & CO., Mch26 Augusta, Georgia. It costs less than S3OO to make nny SOOO Piano sold through agents, all of whom muko 100 per cent, profit. We have no agents, but ship direct to families at factory price. We make only one style and have but one price. Two Hundred and Ninety Dollars , net cash, with no discount to dealers or commissions to teach ers. Our lumber is thoroughly seasoned; our cases are Double Veneered with Rosewood, have front rou.id corners.serpentine bottom and carv ed legs. We use the full iron plate with over strung bass, French Grand action with top dam pers, and our keys are of the best ivory, with ivory fronts. Our /’iano has seven oetavts, is 8 feet 9 inches long, 3 feet 4 inches wide, and weighs, boxed, 955 pounds. Every Piano is fully warranted for five years. Send for illustrated circular, in which we re fer to over 700 Bankers, Merchants, etc., some of whom you may know, using our Pianos in 44 States and Territories. U. S. I*l AXO COMPAXY, 810 Broadway, N. V. Please state where you saw this notice. SICILIAN HAIR [|J!|g3ipI^RENEWER Every year increases the populari ty of this valuable Hair Preparation; which is due to merit alone. We can assure our old patrons that it is kept fully up to its high standard; and it is the only reliable and perfect ed preparation for restoring Gray or Faded Hair to its youthful color, making it soft, lustrous, and silken. The scalp, by its use, becomes white and clean. It removes all eruptions and dandruff, and, by its tonic prop erties, prevents the hair from falling out, as it stimulates and nourishes the hair-glands. By its use, the hair grows thicker and stronger. In baldness, it restores the capillary glands to their normal vigor, and will create anew growth, except in extreme old age. It is the most eco nomical Hair Dressing ever used, as it requires fewer applications, and gives the hair a splendid, glossy appearance. A. A. Hayes, M.D., State Assay er of Massachusetts, says, “The constituents are pure, and care fully selected for excellent quality; and I consider it the Best Prepa ration for its intended purposes.” Sold by all Druggists, and Dealers in Medicines, Prioe One Dollar. Buckingham’s Dye. FOR THE WHISKERS. As our Renowor in many cases requires too long a time, much care, to restore gray or faded Whiskers, we have prepared this dye, in one preparation ; which will quickly and effectually accomplish this result. It is easily applied, and produces a color which will neither rub nor wash off. Sold by all Druggists. Price Fifty Cents. Manufactured by R. P. HALL, & CO* NASHUA, N.H. Prospectus for 1873—Sixth Year. The Aldine, An Illustrated Monthly Journal, universally admitted to he the Handsomest Periodical in the World. A Representative and.Oham pion of American Caste. IVotlor Sale sh Itookor N* w St rrs THE ALDINE, while issued with all the reg ularity, lias none of the temporary or timely ini terest of ordinary periodicals. It is an elegant miscellany of pure, light and gracerul literature; and a collection of pictures, the rarest specimens of artistic skill, in black and white. The real value and beauty of Thk A monk will be most appreciated after being bound at the close of the year. The Aldine is a unique and original conception, alone and unapproached, absolutely without competition in price or character. The possessor of a complete volume cannot dupli cate the quantity of fine paper and engravings in any otiier shape or number of volumes for ten times its cost; and then there are the chromos, besides. Art Department. The publishers, anxious to justify the confi dence bestowed during the past year, have ex erted themselves to the utmost to develop and improve the w r ork; and the plans for the coming year, as unfolded by the monthly issues, will astonish and delight even the most sanguine friends of The Aldine. The publishers are authorized to announce de signs from many of the most eminent artists of America. A copiously illustrated Christmas number. Premium Chromes for 1873. Every subscriber to The Aldine, who pays in advauee for the year 1873, will receive, without additional charge, a pair of beautiful oil chro mos, after J. J. Hill, the eminent English paint er. The pictures, entitled “The Village Belle” and “Crossing the Moor,” are 14 x 20 inches— are printed from 25 different plates, requiring 25 different impressions and tints to perfect each picture. The same Chromos are sold for S3O a pair in the art stores. These chromos wili I e ound to surpass any that can be offered by other periodicals. The distribution ol pictures of this grade free to the subscriber to a $5 periodical will mark an epoch in the history of art. In addition, The Aldine will reproduce exam ples ot the best foreign masters, selected with ft view t the highest artistic success and greatest general interest, avoiding such as have become familiar, through photographs, or copies of and kind. The quarterly tinted plates for 1873 will re produce four of John S*. Davis’ inimitable chily sketches, appropriate to the four seasons’ They will appear in the January, April, July and Oc tober numbers, and they alone are worth ayear’s subscription. Tlie Literary Derailment will continue under the care of Mr. RICHARD HENRY STODDARD, assisted by the best wri-* ters and poets of the day, who willstrive to have the literature of The Aldine always in keeping with its artistic attractions. TERMS, $5 per year, in ad vatic*, with Oil Chromos free. The Aldine will hereafter only be obtainable by subscription. There will be uo reduced or club rate; cash for subscriptions mast be sent to the publishers direct, or handed to the local agent, without responibility to the publishers, except in cases where the certificate is given, bearing the facsimile signature of James Sutton & Cos. AGENTS WANTED.—Any person wishing to act permanently as a local agent, will receive full and prompt information by applying to JAS. SUTTON & CO., Publishers 58 Maiden Lane, New York