The gazette. (Elberton, Ga.) 1872-1881, November 05, 1873, Image 1

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gittjusta fusiweSiS CawK KEAN & CASSELS, Wholesale and retail dealers in Foreign and Domestic Dry Goods 209 Broad at., lat stand of H. F. Russel & Cos. AUGUSTA, GA. J. MURPHY & CO. “Wholesale and retail dealers in English While Granite k (', C. Ware ALSO, Semi-China, French China, Glassware, &c. No. 244 Broad Street, AUGUSTA GA. T. MARKWALTEK, MARBLE WORKS, BBOAD STREET, Near Lower Market, AUGUSTA, GA. THE AUGUSTA Gilding, Looking-glass,Picture Frame FACTOHY. Old Picture Frames Regilt to look Equal to Lew. Old Paintings Carefully Cleaned, Lined and Varnished. J. J. BROWNE, Agent. 346 Broad st., Augusta, Ga. SCHNEIDER, DEALER IN WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS AUGUSTA, GA. Agent for Fr. Schleifer & Co.’s San Francisco CALIFORNIA BRANDY. HHQOLU EHCQUOTT CHAMPAGNE. E. 11. SCHNEIDER, Augusta, Georgia. Bones, Brown & Cos., J. & S. Bones & Cos., AUGUSTA, GA. HOME, GA. Established 1325. Established 1869. BONES, BROWN & CO., IMPORTERS And dealers in Foreign & Domestic HARDWARE AUGUSTA GA.. E. 11. ROGERS, Importer and dealer in RIM GUNS PISTOLS And Pocket Cutlery, Amm mition of all Kinds, 245 BROAD STREET, AUGUSTA, GA. REPAIRING EXECUTED PROMPTLY (Elbction guriuciss Cavdjs. LIGHT CARRIAGES & BUGGIES. j. (Carriage ot[ajiufact’r ELBERTOSI, GEORGIA. BEST WORKMEN! BEST WORK! LOWEST PRICES! Good Baggies, warranted, - $125 to SIGO Common Baggies - SIOO. REPAIRING AND BLACKSMITIIING. Work done in this line in the very best style. Tlie Best liar ness My 22-1 v 1\ M. SWIFT. MACK. ARNOLD SWIFT & ARNOLD, (Successors to T. M. Swift,) dealers in DRY GOODS, GROCERIES, CROCKERY, BOOTS AND SHOES, HARDWARE, Ac., Public Square, ELBERTON GA. H. K. GAIR DIMER, ELBERTON, GA„ DEALER IN DBY GOODS, GROCERIES, HARDWARE, CROCKERY, BOOTS, SHOES, HATS Notions, &o- ELBERTON FEMALE (Mepi#Gtitute TITHE exercises of this institute will be resum- J- ed on Monday, August 18th, 1873. B@“Fall term, four months. Tuition, $2.50, $3.50, and $5 per month, according to clas3— payable half in advance. Mrs. Hester will continue in charge of tin Musical Department. Board in the best families can be obtained at from $lO to sls per month. Fcr further information address the Principal H. P. SIMS. THE GAZETTE. ISJew Series. A FLEET MARRIAGE. BY AN IKISAMAN. Lady C. was a beautiful woman, but Lady C. was an extravagant woman.— She was still single, though rather past extreme youth. Like most pretty fe males, she had looked too high ; had es timated her own loveliness too dearly; and now she refused to believe that she was not charming as ever. So no won der she still remained unmarried. Lady C. had but five thousand pounds in the world. She owed about forty thousand pounds; so with all her wit and beauty, she got into Fleet Prison, and was without ascident, likely to re main there. Now, in the time I speak of, every la dy had her head dressed by a barber ; and the barber of the Fleet was the handsomest barber in the city of Lon don. Pat Phelan, was a great admirer of the fair sex ; and where’s the wonder? Sure Pat was an Irishman. It was on e very fine morning, when Phelan was dressing her captivating head, that her ladyship took it into her mind to talk to him ; and Pat was well pleased, for La dy C.’s teeth were the whitest and her smile the brightest in all the world. “So you are not married Pat f” says she. “Divil an inch, yer honor’s ladyship,” says he. “And wouldn’t ye like to be married again?” asks she. “Would a duck swim?” replied Phe lan. “Is there any one you would pre fer ?” “May be, madam,” says he, “you niver heard of Kathleen O’ltily, down beyant Doneraile ? Her father’s cousin to O’Donoghue, who’s own steward to Mr. Murphy, the under-agent to my Lord Kingstown, and—” “Hush,” says slie; “sure I don’t want to know who she is. But, would she have you if you asked her?” “Ah, thin, I’d only wish I’d be afther thrying the same.” “And why don’t you ?” “Sure, I’m too poor.” And Pat heaved a prodigious sigh. “Would you like to be rich ?” asks the iady. “Does a dog bark?” “If I make you rich, will you do as I tell you?” “Millia murthers! your honor, don’t be tantalizing a poor boy. “Indeed I’m not,” said LadyC.; so lis ten. “How would you like to marry me?” “Ak, thin, my lady, I believe the King of Bussia himself would be proud to do that same lave alone a poor devil like Pat Phelan.” “Well, Phelan if you will marry me to morrow, I’ll give you one thousand pounds.” ‘ O, whilabaloo ? whilabaloo ? sure I’m mad, or enchanted by the good people,” roared Pat, dancing around the room. “But there are conditions,” says Lauy C. “After the first day of our nuptials you must never see me again, nor claim me for your wife.” “I don’t like that” says Pat, for he had been ogling her ladyship most desperate ly- “But remember Kathleen O’Reilly. With the money I’ll give you you may go and marry her.” “That’s thrue,” says he. “But thin, the bigamy.” “I’ll never appeaa against you. On ly remember you must take an oath nev er to call me your wife after to-morrow, and never go telling all the story.” “Divil a word I’ll ivir say.” “Well, there’s ten pounds. Go and buy a license, and leave the rest to me and then she explained to him where he was to go, and when he was to come, and all that. The next day Pat was true to his ap pointment, and found two gentleman aL ready with her ladyship. “Have you got the license?” says she. •‘Here it is, my lady,” says he; and he gave it to her. She handed it to one of the gentlemen, who viewed it atten tively. Then calling her two servants, she turned to the gentleman who was reading. “Perform the ceremony,” says she. And sure enough in ten minutes Pat Phelan was the husband of the lovely Lady C. “That will do,” says she to her new husband, as he gave her a hearty kisß; ELBERTOX, GEORGIA^NOVEMBER 5, 1873. “that’U do. Now, sir, give me my mar riage certificate.” The old gentleman did so, and bowing respectfuUy to the five pound note she gave him, he retired with his clerk; for sure enough, I forgoi to say he was a parson. “Go and bring me the warden,” says my lady to one of the servants. “Yes, my lady,” and presently the warden appeared. “Will you be good enough,” said Lady C. in a voice that would call a bird off a tree, “will you be good enough to send or fetch me a hackney-coach"? I wish to leave this prison immediately.” “Your ladyship forgets,” replied the warden, “that you must pay your forty thousand pounds before I can let you go-” “I am a married woman. You can de tain my husband, but not me. And she smiled at Phelan, who began rather to dislike the appearance of things. “Pardon me, my lady, it is well known you are single.” “I tell you, ’ says she, “that I am mar ried.” “Where’s your husband f ’ asked the warden. “There, sir!” and she pointed to the astonished barber; “there he stands.— Here is my marriage certificate, which you can peruse at your leisure. My ser vants yonder were witnesses of the cere mony. Now detain me, sir, one instant at your peril.” The warden was dumb founded and no wonder. Poor Phelan would have spoken, but neither party would let him. The lawyer below was consulted. The result was evident. In half an hour Lady C. was free, and Pat Phelan, her legitimate husband, a prisoner for debt to the amount of forty thousand pounds. Well, sir, for some time, Pat thought he was in a dream, and the creditors thought they were still worse. The fol lowing day they held a meeting, and finding out how they had been tricked, swore they’d detain poor Pat forever But as they well knew that be had noth ing, and would not feel much shame in going into the Insolvent Court, they made the best of a bad bargain, and let him out. Well, you must know, about a week after this, Paddy Phelan was sitting by bis little fire, and thinking over the won derful things he had seen, when as sure as death the postman brought him a let ter, the first he had ever received, which he took over to a friend of his, one Ry an, a fruit-seller, because you see he was no great hand at reading, or writing. It ran thus: “Go to Doneraile, and marry Kathleen O'Reilly. The instant the knot is tied, I fulfill my promise of making you com fortable for life. But as you value your life and liberty, never breathe a syllable of what has passed. Remember you are in my power if you tell the story. The money will be paid to you directly you inclose to me your marriage certificate. I send you fifty pounds for present ex penses. O! happy Paddy! Didn’t he get drunk that same night, and didn’t he start next day for Cork, and didn’t he marry Kath leen, and touch a thousand pounds ? By the powers he did. And what is more, tjok a cottage which perhaps you know> not a thousand miles from Bruffin, in the county of Limerick; and i’faix he forgot his first wife clean and entirely, and nev er told any one but myself, under a prom ise of secrecy, the story -of bis “Fleet marriage.'’ So, remember, as a secret, don’t tell it to any one else. CSHUNKS*OF WISDOM. BY JOSH BILLINGS. Most people are like an egg, too phull of themselfs to hold ennything else. “Misery luvs kompany,” but kan’t bear kompetishun; there ain’t noboddy but what thinks thare bile is the sorest bile in markit. To be a big man among big men, iz what proves a man's karakter. to be a bull-frog amung tadpoles don’t amount to much. What a blessed thing it is that we kan't “see ourselves az others see us the sight would take all the starch out uv us. Thare iz lots uv pholks in this wurld who kan keep nine out uv ten of the commandments, without enny trouble at all, but the one that is left thay kan’t keep the small end ov. Expeetatshun is the child ov Hope and like its parent iz an arogant brat. Exccntricitys are most alwus artify shal, and the best that can be sed ov them iz, thay are quite az often the re sult ov diffidence az ov vanity. j If i want tew git at the trew karakter ova man, i studdy hiz vices more than i do hiz virtues. Those who expekt tew keep themselves pure in this life must keep their souls bileing all the time, like a pot, and keep busy all the time skimming the sur face. It don’t dew tew to trust a man tew much who iz alwus in a hurry, he iz like a pissmire, whose heart and bones lays in hiz heels. Thare iz nuthing so delishus tew the soul of man as an ockasional moment ov sadness. Jealous people alwus lnv themselves more than they do those they are jealous ov. Curiosity iz the germ ov all enterpris es ; men dig for woodchucks more for curiosity than they do for the wood chucks. The purest and best specimens ov hu man natur that the world haz ever seen, or ever will see, hav ben the virtewous heathen. Men don’t fail so often in this world from a want ov right motives as they do from a lack of grip. There iz only two men in this world 'who never make eny blunders, and they are you and me mi friend. Yung man, yu kant learn enything by hearing yourself talk, but yu may bi hearing others. Thare iz lots ov folks in this world whom yu kan bio up like a bladder, and then kik them as high as yu feel inklin ed. I hav alwus notissed one thing, that when a cunning man burns liis fingers every body hollers for joy. I sumtimes distinguish between talent and genius in this.way : A man of talent kan'make a wliisel outov a pig’s tale, but it takes a man ov genius to make the tale. I kat t tell now whether a goose stands on one leg so much to rest the leg as to rest the goose. I wash some scientific man would tell me all about this. I had rather be a child again than to be the autokrat of the world. There is newmerous individuals in the land who look upon wh it they haint got az the only things worth hav ing. Thare is those who kant laff with im punity ; if they ain’t stiff and sullum they ain’t nothing. One man ov genius to 97 thousand four hundred aud 42 men ov talent iz just about the rite perproshim for aktual bizziness. Ventilashun iz a good thing, but when a man kant lay down and sleep in alO aker lot without taking down lengths of fence to let the wind in he iz altogether too airish. I think that a hen who undertakes tew lay 2 eggs a day must necessarily neglekt sum other branch ov her bizzi ness. Thare iz “menny a slip between a cup and a lip,” but nothaff az menny az thare ought tew be. Rather than not hav faith in enything, iam willing tew be beat 9 times out ov 10. I don’t never have enny trubble in re gulating mi own kondukt, but tew keep other pholks straight iz what bothers me. —The Richmond Dispatch tells this - Just after we left Roncevile, Judge C., of Charlottesville commenced his jokes, and soon had all the passengers in a roar. “ I’ll tell you what I can do,” said the judge to a correspondent of a New York paper. “ You may think of any time you please, whether I have ever heard of it or not, and by seeing you keep time with your fingers I can tell you what you are playing.' The correspondent was skep tical. After thinking a moment he com menced piano playing on the back of his seat in front of him with the grace of Leo Wheat. “What am I playing now?” he asked eagerly and with an air of tri umph. “ You are playing the fool,” replied the judge. , ■' “Papa,” said a hopeful, “what is punc tuation ?” “It is the art of putting stops my child.” “Then, you ought to go in the cellar and punctuate the barrel of ale it is leaking like forty.” Vol. 11.-ISTo. 28. CURRENT NOTES. —Gin-house in Burke, with nine bales, burned. —Duke Williams’ gin-house, in Upson county, burned. —Between twenty and thirty gin hou ses burnt in Georgia this fall. Hon. A. H. Stephens denies that he is to form a connection with a Washington paper. The State Senate of Maine contains a single Democrat. The Democratic vote ill that body is monotonously unani mous. —Sam Bard says the President stood like a rock in a weary land during tin panic. Yes, and he stood on the safe side, too. —Attempts are being made to prove that North Carolina was inhabited by civilised Caucasians two thousand years before the birth of Columbus. —A performer at one of the New York theatres announces that he will shoot an apple from the head of a lady with his back to the object, bis rifle over his shoulder, and looking in the opposite direction, and to clench the sensation he adds, “This is a genuine shot.” —“I hope, Mrs. Giles,” said a lady who was canvassing for a choir at the village church, “you will persuade your husband to join us. lam told lie Ims a sonorous voice.” “A snorou3 voice, marm! Ah, you should hear it coming out of his nose when he’s asleep!” —ln a speech at Dayton, Ohio, Senat or Morton said he had in his possession a proposal submitted by Dutch capital ists to build a railroad with four tracks from the West to the seaboard, without asking any aid, either State or national. All they ask is a charter. And all we ask is that a charter be given them. —The Mobile Register says: “If, as predicted by competent judges, the cot ton crop of the South should reach four million bales and sell at only fifteen cts. —putting the bale down at 450 pounds, or $72.50 a bale—the proceeds would not be less than two hundred and ninety million dollars, or far more than the united capital of all the national banks. Who’s afraid ?” —Memphis Avalanche: After J. St 7 Clair Abrams of Atlanta, while browsing around with a double barreled mountain howitzer, and looking anxiously for W. Carey Styles, of Albany, Ga., was bound over to keep the peace for a few months, he publicly announced that gore -would flow when the time expired. A desire to heal- that they have shot out oach other’s middle name impels us to ask if the iron hand of the law has been removed ?” —Says the Staunton, Va.. Vindicator: Waking up one hundred and thirty-two girls at once can be done nowhere but in Staunton. An omnibus drove up to a female seminary here the other night at tliree o’clock, and did it without a flaw. They all sat stock upright in bed, clutch ing at each other in the dark and scream ing, “it must be a man.” Somehow, no thing ever liajjpens that a girl don’t swear it is “man.” Of the whole num ber, one hundred and twenty-eight cried “Oh, where's my pa?” The old man is never wanted except when trouble comes along. A girl may have a hundred new dresses to show, and it’s “Oh, ma,” but the minute she stumps her toe it’s “Where’s my pa?” One hundred and eight said “the house is on fire,” and started down stairs carrying one hun dred and six cologne bottles, ninety-eight copies of Byron, one Shorter Chatecism, one hundred and three braids and eigh ty three bustles. At breakfast next morn ing they compared statistics. Julia Blogsden made the bottom step of the lowest flight, carrying her trunk, the washstand, the bedstead and two win dow-shutters, in two minutes and twelve seconds. Juba is a truthful scholar. Mary Lobsby put up her back hair, fixed her banged front hair, and pinned on a ruff in one minute and three seconds, and Ellen Pitchfelder put on both shoes, three pair of ear-rings and a polonaise in five seconds. But the prize scholar excited the hatred and envy of all by proving by the cook that she fainted “stone dead” twice. From the New Orleans Picayune.] COMPENSATION POE SLAVES. R. M. T. Hunter says: “ Indeed it seemed to be their purpose to make all these changes operate on us as harshly as possible; and if it had been their design to depress still further the country and the people, already poor enough, their course of action could not have been much better suited to that end.” The only error in this quotation is in the words—“lf it had been their de sign!” It was their design. The men and party which ruled the United States after the termination of the war, by an overwhelming majority from the North, did deliberately adopt it, in every way and by all means, to impoverish, ruin, weaken, and debase the peoplo of the South. Great Britain has emancipated slaves. Russia has emancipated slaves; but no people on earth but the Radical party of tlio North have endeavored to make emancipated slaves the masters of their former masters, and thus crush them by the rule of barbarism, corrup tion and tyranny into weak, debased po litical slaves, willingly submissive to their subjection and rule. Fear bad doubtless something to do with this policy; but hate much more. Tlio plain truth is, that no poople ever had moro bitter and unscrupulous enemies over them than the white race of the North under Radical rule since tho war; and any man who cannot see this, disgraces the intelligence of manhood. But we do not agree with Mr. Hunter that tho proposition of Prcsidont Lin coln, that the Government of tho United States should pay the southern peoplo 400,000,000 of dollars in compensation for their emancipated slaves, was of tho least value or consideration. Four hun dred millions of dollars, to pay for four millions five hundred thousand slaves, is about eighty dollars a head. Slaves were worth, at the opening of the war, seven hundred dollars round, for every head. To give eighty dollars for seven hundred dollars’ value is poor statesmanship, and no justice. We are astonished that Mr. Hunter, as a Commissioner from the Confederate States, at Old Point Com fort, did not at once rebuke such a prop osition when made by President Lincoln. We were continually told during the wt r that if we would only agi’ce by treaty with the United States to emancipate our slaves and be paid therefor, peace could at once be obtained. We have here what this proposition meant. It meant —Pre- sident Lincoln himself being tho author ity—that w 3 should receive about eighty dollars a head for our slaves when they were worth seven hundred. Great Brit ain paid, if we recollect correctly, four hundred dollars a head for the slaves slio emancipated. In our judgment, therefore, it is cer tainly better for the southern people that such compensation was not paid by the Government of the United States, for it would have barred out forever any claim for substantial compensation. That claim, in due time, will be made by Kentucky, Maryland, Delaware, and Missouri, and will be recognised and paid. We hold this to be certain, if the Government of the United States is to exist at t all, as a free, and therefore a just, Government. Nor is it amongst the impossibilities of the future that the people of those States, being paid for their emancipated slaves, the people of all the other southern States should also be paid. The manu- facturing and mining interests of tho North look to two grand strokes of poli cy—as soon as the public debt of the United States shall be so diminished as not to afford them sufficient protection— to bring back upon the people tho blessings of a public debt —the assump tion of the United States of tho debts of the northern States incurred during the late war to carry it on—and compensa tion to the southern States for the eman cipation of their slaves. If the alterna tive was presented to morrow to tho manufacturing and money interest of tho North—compensation for emancipated slaves or a strictly revenue tariff, they would go for the compensation for slaves. But they look upon such an al ternative as far distant—the present ir debtedness of the United States being quite sufficient for their purposes; but that the assumption of the war debts of the northern States and payment for emancipated slaves will be subjects pressed for practical legislation before the Congress of the United States with in ten years, if the national debt is ex tinguished at the rate it has hitherto been extinguished, we have little doubt. The late Mr. Tliaddeus Stevens, then the financial leader of tho House of Rep resentatives, prepared a careful estimate of the war debts of tho northern States,, to be assumed by the United States, and they amounted to more than the existing debt of the United States. Mr. Granger, a distinguished member of Congress from New York, and a member of Gem Taylor’s Cabinet, declared that the lay ing of protective duties was so impor tant that if the Treasury could not bo better depleted to justify them, then it ought to be emptied into the Potomac from the Long Bridge. Jay Qooke also lately declared tliat a national debt is*a national blessing—-high authority, at least of northern opinion, on financial matters.