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PROFESSIONAL. CARDS. Til OS. W. TE ASLY, ATTORNEY AT LAW, HARTWELL, GA. Will practice in Superior Courts of Hart, El bert, Oglethorpe and Madison. Prompt atten tion ta collection of claims. ly. R. 11. JONES, att:orney at law, ELBERTON, GA. Special attention to the collection of claims, [ly J. N. WORLEY, VTTORNEI’ AT LAW, ELBERTON, GA. WILL PRACTICE IN THE COURTS OF the Northern Circuitand Franklin county ®Sf"Special attention given to collections. J. S. BARNETT, ATTORNEY AT LAW, ELBERTON, GA. JOHN T. OSHORN, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW, ELBEItTON, GA. WILL PRACTICE IN SUPERIOR COURTS and Supreme Court. Prompt attention ta the collection of claims. nevl7,ly A. E- HUNTER, M. I>. PRACTICING PHYSICIA.N Office over the Drug Store, ELBERTON, GEORGIA. WILL ATTEND PROMPTLY TO ALL cases. [Ang22,6m j ELBERTON BUSINESS CARDS. LIQH U G GIE S ■ J. F. A-XJIjX) Carriage toanufact’r ELBERTON, GEORGIA. WITH GOOD WORKMEN! LOWEST PRICES! CLOSE PERSONAL ATTENTION TO BUSINESS. AND AN EXPERIENCE OF 27 YEARS, He hopes by honest and fair dealing to compete any other manufactory. Good Buggies, warranted, - $125 to $l6O R EPAIRING AND BLACKSMITHING. Work done in this line in t very best style. The Best Harness TERMS CASH. Vy22-1 r ALOXEIALL ALONE! The firm of J. 11. JONES & CO. being dissolved by imilisol coes sent, JOHN H. JONES ■Will continue business al Jlic old stand, and will alwajs keep such a stock of GENERAL MERCHANDSE As will meet the wants of hts old friends and patrons, whose good favors he hopes to receive. NEW STORE I NEW GOODS! I. G. SWIFT, Will keep on hand FLOUR, MEAT, LARD, SUGAR, COF FEE, HAMS, CHEESE, CAN NED GOODS, &c.&c. And other articles usually kept in a first-class Provision Store, which will be sold Cheap for CASH and Cash Only. F. W. JACOBY, HOUSE 4SGN PAIN fEP Glazier and Grai ler, ELBERTON, GA. Orders Sclicited. Satisfaction Guaranteed. LOOK AND TAKE WARNING. Thanking onr customers for former favors and desiring a continuance of the same, we respectfully announce to the public that on the first day of January last w established a strictly cash sys tem, and all those who will persist in asking credit will obtain nothing but a refusal. Having decided on this course we will not vary from it a nickle’s worth. To those who are indebted to us we will say: we are needing money, and if you think you are good for your con tracts we would like very much for you to prove it by coming up and handing it over within a short time. We fear we will have to resort to vio lence. J. H. DUNCAN & BRO. All oar friends who were tavoied with credit by us in tbs past are earnestly solicited to come ap and settle their arrearages, as we cannot pos. •ibly do without the money longer. The times are bard, we know, but they are as bard on us as anybody, and we think we are entitled to a re turn ot the money we let our friends have the use of for two or three years. It is ours and we need it. We do not wish to resort to harsh means, but we must do it if it is necessary. T. M. SWIFT, McALPIN ARNOLD. octStfj Late firm of Swift & Arnold, THE GAZETTE. ISTew Series. THE ELECTORAL TRIBUNAL, The following is the complete text of the bill agreed upon by the joint committee on counting the electoral rote: A bill to provide for and regulate counting ot votes for President and Vice-President, and the decision of questions arising thereon, for the term commencing March 4, A. D. 1877 : Be it e.iacied, Jc., That the Senate and House of Representatives shall meet in the hall of the House of Representatives.at the hour of 1 o’clock p. m., on the first Thursday in February, A. D. 1877, and the President of the Senate shall be presiding officer. Two tellers shall be previous ly appointed on the part of the Senate and two on the part of the House ol Representatives, to whom shall be banded, as they are opened by the President of the Senate, all the certificates and papers purporting to be certificates of elec toral votes, which certificates and papers shall be opened, presented, and acted upon in the al phabetical order of the Senate, beginning with the lett*r A, and said tellers having then read the same in the presence and bearing of the two Houses, shall make a list of the votes as they shall appear from the said certificates, and, the votes having been ascertained and counted as in this act provided, the result of the same shall be delivered to the President of the Senate, who shall announce the state of the rote and the names of the persons, if any, elected, which an nouncement shall be deemed a sufficient decla ration of the pe. sons elected President and Vica- President ot the United States, and together with a list of the votes shall be entered on the journals ot the two Houses. Upon such reading of any such certificate or paper, when there be only one return from the State, the President of the Senate shall call for objections, if any. Every objection shall be made in writing, and shall state clearly and concisely and without argument the ground thereof, and shall be sign ed by at least one Senator and one member jf the House ot Representatives before the same shall be received. When alt objections so made to any vote or paper from a State shall have been receded and read, the Senate shall there upon withdraw, and such objections shall be submitted to the Senate for its decision, and the Speaker of the House of Representatives shall in like manner submit such objections to the House of Representatives for its decision, and no electoral vote or votes from any State frotn which but one return has been received shall be rejected except by the affirmative vote of the two Houses. When the two Houses have voted they shall immediately again meet, and the pre siding officer shall then announce the decision of the question submitted. Sec. 2. That if more than one return or paper purporting to be a return from a State shall have been received by the President of the Senate, purporting to be the certificates of electoral votes given at the last preceding election for President and Vice-President in Such State, un less they shall be duplicates of the same return all such returns and papers shall be opened by him, in the presence of the two Houses, when met as aforesaid, and read by tile tellers, and all sucli returns and papers shall thereupon he sub mitted lo the judgment and decisions as to which is the true and lawful electoral vote of such State, of a commission constituted as follows, namely : During the session of each House on the Tuesday jnext preceding the first Thursday in February, 1877, each House shall by viva voce vote appoint five members, who, with the five Associate Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States, to he ascertained as herein after provided, shall constitute a commission tor the decision of all questions upon or in respect of such double returns named in this section. On the Tuesday next proceding the first Thurs day of Febiuary, A. L>. 1877, or as soon there after as may be, the Associate Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States now as signed to the Firs.. Third, Eighth, and Ninth Circuits shall select, in such manner as a major ity of them shall deem lit, another of the Asso date Justices of said Court, which five persons shall be members of the said commission, and the persons longest in commission of said five Justices shall be the President of said commis sion. Members of said commission shall re spectively take and subscribe the following oath: “I, ,oo solemnly swear (or affirm, as the case may be) that 1 will impartially exam ine and cotisidei all questions submitted to the commission of whicu I am a member, and a true judgmnnt give thereon, agreeably to the Constitution and laws, so help me God.” Which oath shall be filed with the Secretary of the Senate. When the commission shall have been thus organised it shall not be in the power of either House to dissolve the same or to withdraw any ot its members; but if any such Senator or member shall die or become physically unable to perform the duties required by this act, the fact ot such death or physical inability shall be by said commission, before it shall proceed further, communicated to the Senate or House of Representatives, as the case may be; which body shall immediately and without debate pro ceed by viva voce vote to fill the place so va cated, and the person so appointed shall take and subscribe the oath hereinbefore prescribed, and become a member of said commission. And, in like manner, if any of said Justices of the Supreme Court shall die or become physically incapable of performing the duties required by the act, the other of said Justices, members of sa ; d commission, shall immediately apooint an other Justice of said court a member of said commission, and in such appointments regard shall be had to the impariiality and freedom from bias sought by the original appointments to said commission, who shall thereupon imme diately take and subscribe to the oath hereinbe fore prescribed, and become a member of said commission to fill the vacancy so occasioned. All the certificates and papers purporting to be certificates of the electoral votes of each Stat<* shall he opened in the alphabetical order ot the States, as provided in section one of this act, and when there shall be more than one such certificates or papers f-om such States shall be opened (excepting duplicates of the same return), they shall be read by (be tellers, and thereupon the President of the Senate shall call for objec tions, if any. Every objection shall be made in writing, and shall state clearly and concisely, and without argument, the ground thereof, and be received. When all such objections so made to any certificate, vote or paper from a State shall have been received and read, all such certificates, votes, and papers so objected to, and all papers accompanying same, together with such objections, shall be forthwith submit ted to said commission, which shall proceed to consider the same with the same powers, if any, now possessed for that purpose by the two Houses acting separately or together, and by a majority of votes decide whether any and what votes from such State are the votes pi ovided by the Constitution of the United States, and bow many and what persons were duly appointed electors in such State; and may iherein take into view such petitions, depositions, and other papers, if any, as shall by tne Constitution and now existing law be competent and pertinent to such consideration, which decision shall be made in writing, stating briefly the ground thereof, and be signed by the members of said commission agreeing therein. Whereupon the two Houses shall again meet and sucli decision shall be read and entered in the journal of each House And the counting of the vote sl all proceed in conformity therewith, unless upon ESTABLISHED 1859. ELBERTON, GA., JAM’Y 31,1877. objection made thereto in writing by at least five Senators and five members of the House of Representatives, the two Houses shall separate ly concur in ordering otherwise ; in which case such concurrent order shall go vein. No votes or papers from any other State shall be acred upon until the objections previously made to the votes or papers from any State shall have been finally disposed of. Sec. 3. That while the two Houses shall be in meeting as provided in this act no debate shall be allowed and no question shall be put by the presiding officer, except to either House on a motion to withdraw ; and he shall have power lo preserve order. Sec. 4. That when the two Houses separate to decide upon an objection that may have been made to the counting of any electoral vote or votes irom any State, or upon objection to a re port of said commission or other question aris ing under this act, each Senator and Represen tative may speak to such objection or question for ten minutes and notoftener than once. But after such debate shall have lasted two hours it shall be the duty of each house to put the main question without further debate. Sec. 5. That at such joint meeting of the two Houses seats shall be provided as follows : For the President of the Senate, the Speaker’s chair; for the Speaker, immediately upon his left; for the Senators, in the body of the hall, upon the right of the piesiding officer ; for the Represen tatives, in the body of the hall not provided for the Senators ; for the Tellers, Secretary of the Senate, and C’erk of the House of Representa tives, at the Clerk’s desk ; for the other officers of the two Houses, in front of the Clerk’s desk and upoa eacli side of the Speaker's platform. Such joint meeting shall not be dissolved un til the count or electoral roles shall be com pleted and '-he result declared ; and no recess shall be taken unless a question shall have aris en :n regard to the counting of any such votes or otherwise under this act, in which case it shall be competent for either House, acting sep arately in the manner hereinbefore provided, to d>ect a ecess of such House, not beyond the next day (Sunday excepted), at the hour of 10 o’clock in the forenoon. And while any ques tion is being considered by said commission either House may proceed with its legislative or otl er business. Sec. 6. That nothing in this act shall be held to impair or effect any right now existing under the Coasiiiulion and laws to question by pro ceed.ng in the judicial courts of the United States tne light or title of the person who shall be declared elected or who shall claim to be Pres : dent or Vice-President of the United States, if any such right exists. Sec 7. That said commission shall make its own uiles. keep a record of its proceeding, and shall have power to emp.oy such persons as may be necessary for the transaction of ils bus iness and the execution of its powers. ZACH CHANDLER’S LOSS OF MEMORY. Old Zach Chandler, Giant’s champion Lull dozer and briber, has got himself into an awfully tight place —so tight that a decent maa would feel very ttn com fortable in it. They brought the old reprobate up before the Committee on Powers and Privileges of the House on Monday, and put him through a search ing examination in reference to his tele grams to Stearns, Kellogg and Cham berlain, the day a Her the election, in st? noting them to hold the electoral votes of their) States at all hazards, and as suring them that they would be abund antly supplied with (roops and money He came beffi.e the committee with an air of defiant impudence, not suspecting that they had in their \ issession any evidence of bis guilt, and relying upon his brazen eEVontry to carry him safely through the ordeal. But when, after a few questions, Mr. Field asked him in re gard to certain dispatches, giving the precise language of his message to Stearns, thereby declosing the fact that his villainy had been disclosed and the evidence against him was in possession of the committee, he suddenly squelched and became as docile as a whipped spaniel. He became utterly demoralized and lost his memory entirely. He couldn’t remember anything about it. He didn’t remember sending any dis patches ; had forgotten whether he re ceived any dispatches ; he had a very vague recollection of the election, and could u’t "emembev whether he had con surfed wi. h Don Cameron about sending troops to Florida or not. In short, he had about forgotten that a Presidential election had taken place in Florida, and only remembered that he was a member of the Cabinet, and could not be requir ed to disclose government secrets. Be ing closely pressed, he finally begged time and was granted another day to re fresh his memory. And now he has the alternative of telling the truth or being dealt with for contempt. Poor old Zach ! We thought Henry Ward Beecher had a very bad memory when, on his examination, he failed to remember anything about his relations with the Tiltons, the Moultons and the Bowens. But Zach is worse afflicted with the name radical misfortune, a treacherous memory. [Savannah News. A Conning Fox.—A farmer of York, Pa., recently set a trap to catch a cunning fox which had been annoying him con siderably by its midnight visits anong the poultry. At fourteen successive visits to it he found the trap sprung, a stick of wood between its jaws, and the bait eaten up. The circumstance, so often Repeated, surprised ’him. There were no other tracks to be seen but his own and those k of the fox, and who sprung the trap was a question 1 iat puzzled him sorely. By continuing to rebait his trap he hoped to catch the author of the mischief. On the fifteenth night he found a fine old fox hung to it by the nose, and in his mouth was a stick of wood. She used to meet him at the gate with a kiss and a smile like morning light, but now she comes to the door in a dingy old calico wrapper, and shoes down at the heel, shades her eyes with her hand and in a voice that seems to need oiling inquires : “Did you briug that butter ?” VANDERBILT AND BARGER. One of Commodore Vanderbilt’s asso ciates in his various railway enterprises is Sam Barger, a wag as well as a direc tor. Atone of the meetings the Com modore said he could not see how it happened that Jay Gould got at all the facts aud figures about the New York Central. “I’ll teU yon how you can prevent his knowing anything about your roads,” said Sam. “How?’’ asked the Commodore. “Elect him a director,” was the reply. The autocratic fashion in which the old Commodore managed _lhe road is well known. A speculator wished Sam to induce the Commodore to go into an operation in the street. “If the Commodore will take a hand we can make a million without the pos sibility of losing a dollar,” said the hope ful operator. “No danger of loss ?” said Sam. “None nt all, and sure lo make all the money we want.” “Well, I don’t know about the old man,” said Sam, “bnt, if you feel so very sure about the thing, I have no doubt I might get his son Cornelius to join you” Sam got word one evening while at dinner that, the Commodore would like to see him. Hastily partaking of a lit tie food he repaired to the old gentle man’s residence, forgetting in his hurry to put a cigar in bis pocket. Alter the business was fiuiahed Sam said: “Com modore, you brought me away from my dinner in such a hurry that I didn’t get my smoke I I believe I would like to try a cigar.” (The Commodore was then smoking a delightfully fragrant Havana.) “All right, Sam,” he replied, “you will find a match on the mantel piece.” Sam smoked when he got home. The bearish Twenty-third street party were heavily short of Central. The Commodore was buying all any one wanted to sell at constantly advancing figures. Sam happened in at the bear garden, and of course the talk was of the Commodore’s purchases. “I tell you,” said one of the bruins more sav age than the rest, “the old man ought to be taken care of; he has lost his head.” “I see any one that I suspect of having found it,” was Sam’s quiet re mark, and nothing more was said on that stAject. RETURN OF JEWS TO PALESTINE. Cincinnati Commercial: The year 1877 is likely to do more than the astrologers find promised in its two lucky figure sevens; it will p obably witness the bh'th of several new nations. They may be born amid (he pangs of war, though to-day the signs are more auspicious ; bnt they will be born. Not only will one, more probably two, constitutional and maternally protected nations be born within the limits of Ottoman suze rainty, but Egypt will be remade bv England. The new scheme of widening the Suez Canal really means the coloniz ing of Egypt with many of the ablest Englishmen and the renovation of the Khedive’s Government. The keen in stinct of the Jews has forefelt what is coming. I wrote you some time ago that a remarkable migration to Rales tine was going on among that people, and that the signs of it were observable in many closed Jewish homes in Lon don. A traveler who has just returned hero writes m today’s Times that he found (he whole region from Dan to Beeisheba crowded with immigrant Jens from all parfs of the world. What ever may have caused the gathering of Jews to Palestine, (he fact is certain. And the traveler who has remarked it no doubt represents the hope he found among them in his intimation that Eng land might well assist the restoration of Jerusalem and the fouudatlon there of a Jewish republic, or other liberal Gov ernment. The proposition is one likely to spread like wildfire. The average or thodox Christian world will at once recognize the Divine band stretched forth to fulfill prophecy, and any amount of money could be raised here lor such a purpose. When Egypt and Syria are taken in hand it will become at once necessary to reduce Arabia to order. The world has been absorbed in nearer Turkish affairs as to have noticed that Arabia is at present .the arena of civil war. The Delu of Georg a..— Treasurer Reufroe shows the consolidated debt of (he State of Georgia, not yet due, to be $8,447,500, but in table F it appears that exclusive of the $600,000 disowned Bullock bonds of the Macon and Brun swick railroad, and $194,000 more of the Alabama and Chattanooga railroad, also fraudulently endorsed by Bullock and repudiated, there are $1,688,000 of bonds endorsed legally, for which the State is bound. These, with the probable future obli gations, foot up $11,135,500. A message from the Governor strong ly favors retrenchment in every depart ment. He recommends that the Judi cial Circuits be reduced to thirteen; that Inspectors of Oils and Fertilizers receive salaries, and that the clerical force be curtailed ; that )the compensa tiou of Tax Collectors and Eeceivers)be reduced. If this retrenchment be cra ried into effect, $150,000 a year can be saved- The message was referred to the Finance Committe. "Vol. Y.-No. 40. THE GRAND LODGE OF MINNESOTA RE FUSES to:recognize negro masons. The whole of the forenoon, and a por tion of the afternoon of the Grand Lodge meeting was devoted to the dis cussion of what is called the “Afri | can Lodge. The question of recogniz ing the colored lodges has long been discussed by the Masonic fraternity. Last year the Grand Master alluded to the subject in his address, and as the lodge had an application from I'rince Hall lodge of Boston, and two from two lodges here in the State asking to bo re cognized, it was deem edbest. to bring the matter to a conclusion as soon as pos sible. Accordingly that portion of the Grand Master’s address which referred to the question, and the three com munications, were referred to a large committee. Yesterday three reports 1 were made one by Mr. A. T. C. Pie-son one by Aaron Goodrich-, anil one by Mr. Griswold. The two first reported against recognizing the colored people. The last, Mr. Griswold, reported in fa vor of recognizing them. The whole question resolves itself, according to tho reports, into a question of history. The two that agree against reeogniz ing the colored lodges affirm and main tain that the coloredjodges are not now and never have been recognized as belonging to the Masonic fraternity, and all searched diligently the Masouic history to ascertain whether or not the colored brethren bnd ever been taken in. Mr. Goodrich goes to the oldest kind of English law to show what a free man is, and claims that none but a free man can be a .Mason. Mr. A. T. C. Pierson’s report was also quite long and reaches the same conclusion, but by a diffeient line of argument. The dis cussion was brought to a close by the adoption of three resolutions, attached to the report of Mr. A. T. C. Pierson, as follows. Resolved, That the Grand Lodge of Minnesota declines to recognize the Prince Hill Grand Lodge, located m Boston, Mass., for reason of its irregu lar formation Resolved, That the Grand Lodge can not recognize charters as Laving any validity in this State, except those is sued by its authority ; and that it can not issue charters except to such Ma sons as are of its obedience Resolved, That color is neither a bar nor a recommendation to the acceptance of the Masonic degrees in this jurisdic tion, and that it is perfectly compete.it for any lodge in this jurisdiction, to make Masons any parties possessing the required qualifications. The vote by which the resolutions were adopted is 321 in favor of them, and 7 against, which appears to be sufficiently decisive to settle the matter. [St Paul Pioneer Press. A RAT STORY. The Pittsburg Telegraph tells the following story: “A banker of this city had a valuable cow, which gave a large quantity of milk, and was held in high esteem for general good quali ties. All at once the supply of lac teal fluid grew smaller by degrees and beautifully less until the yield was scarcely worth having. The family were great’y surprised at this, as the animal was in perfect health and in the height of her season. It was hinted that some person whose love for milk overcame his scruples for stealing was at the bottom of the mischief, and that, like a thief at night, he entered the stable where Rossy was kept and relieved her of the milk. The hired man was ac cordingly instructed to watch for the thief, and his vigilance was rewarded by a most singular discovery. Just af ter daylight he saw a very large rat come forth from its hiding place, and, going to where the cow was lying it stood on its hind feet, with its fore paws on the cow’s udder, and applying its mouth to oue cf her dugs, sucked its fill of milk. When it was satisfied another rodent took its place and so on until the supply was exhausted and the family swindled by the cunning rats out of their morning’s supply of the much coveted fluid. The story is well vouched for.” Mansfield Island, in Lake Erie, has been bought by a man who intends to stock it with black cats, and kill their progeny for their fur. He will feed them at .first on fish caught off the shore by men who will live on the Is land ; but after the enterprise is well started he will utilize the meat of the slaughtered cats as food for the living cats. We also read that a Georgian is making an extensive business of raising dogs, tanning their hides, and sell the leather for glove making and other pur poses. Senator . l Elections. —Several Sena torial elections have recently taken place. In Maine James G. Blaine, Re publican, was chosen; in Minnesota, William Windom, Republican ; in Mich igan, T. W. Ferry, Republican ; in Ar kansas, A. H. Garland, Democrat; in Massachusetts, Geo. F. Hoar, Republi can ; in Tennessee, Isham G. Harris and Jas. E. Bailey, Democrats ; and in Ne braska, P. W. Hitchcock, Republican. — There is nothing dispels the dream of youth and shatters the ambitious hopes of the noble boy like having a young lady remark in his hearing that he would make, with study, a good hat rack. Augusta and Knoxville Railroad. —We understand that some of our South Caio na friends, who ore parti ularly inter ested in the construction of a road which shall put Greenwood and the surround ing country in direct communication with Augusta, are apprehensive that our people are not thoroughly in earrt est on the subject. That is a graze ap prehension. Considering the depressed political complications, which hang like’ a pall over the country, the citizens of Augusta Love given active and positivo evidence of their earnestness in this im portant work. On the occasion of tho assembling of the county committteoU to prepare a draft of a charter for the road, a canvass of a few hours sufficed to secure subscriptions equal to half the amount that will probably be required'to grade tho road from Augusta to Wah ton’s Island. With a liberal charter in hand, and our industries freed from the depressing infiutnees referred to, the citizens of Augusta will be found promptly aiding in the construction of a through line to Knoxville —deflecting at Walton’s Island to Greenwood. [Chronicle A Sentinel. A correspondent of the London Times tells a story about a Cossack Captain, of magnificent physique, who sat down to dinner with him at a recent Servian ta blo d’hote. His ample dress had a splendid small sword as sharp as a ra zor, a revolver with sixteen chambers, and two othei's of size. He bad two formidable knives, sixteen and eighteen inches long, and bitterly regretted not having his rifle with him. When asked the use he made of tho knifes ho laughed and said: “Why, to bo euro, to scalp the Turks ; wo never take n Turk alive.” Now here is the model bulldozer. It was long thought that the Texas bully with two revolvers and a bowie knife was the most formidable of all living crea tures, but a modern Cossack, in addition to his hereditary ferocity, has seen the Texan and gone several better. He on ly needs a light Gatlin under each arm and a mortar on his head to make hint self a whole army. The wonderful persuasive power of a silver-plated corkscrew was never more forcibly illustrated than it was the other night in New Haven, according to the Palladium. A few men had gathered, and politics was the theme of a conver sation which soon waxed warm. One of the participants was a veteran talker, whose Websterian cast of countenance and stentorian tones are familiar to all old residents of New Haven. As usual he took a prominent part in the debate. One of the others, an inveterate practi cal joker, at last informed him that he was willing to be insulted personally, but he could not allow his party to be insulted also ; he had therefore decided to at once take from our Websterian friend that satisfaction which gentlemen are accustomed to demand from each other. He then drew his silver-plated corkscrew and told his opponent to pre pare lo meet his doom. The massive features of the man l efore him twitched convulsively, aud his knees began to beat a lively tattoo. Said be : “I don’t care for myself, but it is for my wife and children. For God’s sake, don’t shoot !’ r “But will you apologize ?” said the jok er. “Yes, I make haste to apologize. But it is not for myself, but for my poor wife and children,” said the burly victim, and he was mercifully allowed to retreat in good order. He didn’t sleep any that night, and lie was telling of his narrow escape from death ever since. At first he knew it was a revolver which was pointed at him ; now he admits it may have been a knife, hut he will never al low that it was a corkscrew—ho is too well acquainted with those useful little articles. Moral: Don’t get excited over politics. THE MINISTER’S WIFE. The minister’s wife ought to be select ed by a committee of the church. She should be warranted never to havo head ache or neuralgia; she should have nerves of wire and siriews of iron ; she should never be tired nor sleepy, and should be everybody's drudge; she should be cheerful, intellectual, pious and domesticated ; she should be able to keep her husband’s house, darn his stockings, make his shirts, cook his din ner, light his fire and copy his sermons; she should keep up the style of a lady on the wages of a day laborer, and be al ways at leisure for “good works,” and ready to receive morning calls; she should be Secretary of the Band of Hope, the Dorcas Society, and the Home Mission, and should conduct Bible class es and mothers’ meeting ; should make clothing for the poor and gruel for the sick; and, finally, she should be pleased with everybody and everything, and never desire any reward beyond the sat isfaction of having done her own duty and other people's too. JOSH BILLINGS’ APHORISMS. The grate fight iz fust for bread, then butter on tho bread, and then sugar on the butter. Bo mersifnl on all the dum animals ; no man can git tew Heaven on a sore backed horse. Thogvate mistake that most people make in life iz, they think more ov their cunning than they do ov their hon esty. The grate sekret of popularity i* to make every one satisfied with himself first, and afterwards satisfied with yu. The unhappiness of this life seems principally to konsist in gitting every thing we kan and wanting everything we hain’t got. I hav finally cum to the konklushun that the best epitaff any man kan liav, for all praktikal purposes, is a good bauk ackount. Paupers suffer less than sizers do— the man who don’t kno whare he iz go ing to git hiz next dinner, suffers less than the one who iz anxious to kno how much iz a going to kost him. * A recanvass of the Florida vote as per order of the Legislature, gave Tilden 84 majority.