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4
®he Homing Heirs.
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. fMDEI TONEW AOVERTISSMENTS.
Mhetixgs—St. Augustine Lodge No. S. A .
T. A. M.; Grand Lodge, A. F. A. Masons.
Special Notice— Quarantine Notice; Fait
Hats, W. A. Jaudon, Agent; Banauat. J. 8.
Collins A Cos.
Cheap column advertisements— Help
Wanted; For Kent; For Sale; Lost; Board;
Miscellaneous.
Official— Proposals for Purchase of Por
tion of City Domain; Proposals for the School
of Technology.
Steamship Schedule—Ocean Steamship
Cos.
(Auction Sale—Mule and Wagon, Etc., by
C. H. Doreett.
Public ations—The Sunday News.
Queen Victoria Is In earnest about her
Jubilee. She has lately been to see a
circus.
Has the code duello taken the place ol
the Georgia code in the law department
of the State University ?
The favor with which woman suffrage
meets at the North suggests that the
saddle that that section meaus to ride in
is the siae-saddle.
After having his sentenoe oommuted to
imprisonment for life Titus, the murderer
of Tillie Smith, at Haekettstown, N. J.,
has confessed. He says he killed her ac
cidentally.
The Norfolk Virginian calls itself “A
•Journalistic University.” Considering
that since 1860 it has given twenty noted
workers to the press of the South, it is
entitled to the name.
Some of the Western papers ridicule
the proposition that President Cleveland
should visit the South. Does it mean
that they are afraid the visit would In
crease his popularity ?
The Providence Journal, long a leading
Republican newspaper in Rhode Inland,
has announced for the Democrats. ■fcVery
day the prospect of ridding Rhode Island
ot Republican rule grows brighter.
There are 42,000,000 gallons of whisky
In Kentuoky bonded warehouses. Due of
these days prohibition will pour it all
out and then tae earth will be a greater
“soaker” than the typical barroom loafer.
Senator Sherman has lost a great op
portunity. The South wants money, not
talk. If he had come down with enough
money to buy a few booms he would
have made himself “solid” with the
solid South.
* The bars are down, gentlemen. The
South offers a free field to Republican
statesmen who have an ambition to
break its solidity. They are warned,
however, that talk even at close quarters
will never do it.
W. K. Vanderbilt and his big steam
yaoht have arrived at New York. When
the reporters interviewed him he was
ominously silent as to Port Royal. The
Augusta Chronicle may now preach the
funeral of another boom.
A sorceress, it is said, predicted that
Emperor William, of Germany, would
live to be 96 years old, but that the last
years of his life would be full of trouble.
I The prospect Just now seems to indibate
E that the sorceress was mistaken.
St Herr John Most, Anarchist and convict,
■ will deliver a speech In New York on
Baprll 4. His subjeot will be: “The Free-
X d o m of Speech vs. Penitentiary.” Un
¥ fortunately for a long suffering publio, he
knows more about the former than about
the tatter.
J. S. Keyser, of Ponoa, Neb., while sink
ing a shaft for ooal north of the town a
few days ago, discovered a diamond of
great brilliancy weighing one ounce and
a half. The bones of the hotel clerk to
* whom the diamond belonged have not yet
keen discovered.
The race between the Coronet and
Dauntless has caused more betting thau
was ever before known on a single event.
Jt Is estimated that more than $1,000,009
Is at etake. Tbo Coronet Is the luvorite,
but the Dauntless has plenty or friends
who are willing to risk their money on
her.
A negro woman, who was the daughter
of a king, saw Washington at Albany, N.
TANARUS., in 1793, was belr to a lJige estate,
weighed 405 pounds, and had begun to
turn white In patches, died In Buffalo the
other day at the age of 104. What a ooon
she would have been to the average dime
museum.
Among the Georgians who will go to
Tennessee to aid the Prohibitionists in
the attempt to give that State constitu
tional prohibition are Senator Colquitt,
Rev. Bam Jones, and Rev. Dr. J. B. llaw
tborne. They will make a strong team,
and neither Are nor dynamite will
frighten them.
“Kberman’s March, No. 2,” is what the
Louisville Courier-Journal calls Senator
Bherman’s visit to the South. The dif
ference between march No. 2 and march
No. 1 Is that No. 2 leaves no ashes behind.
Senator Sherman may safely consider
himself a much more popular man in the
South than his brother.
That Washington doctor, Z. T. Sowers,
Who recently discovered that President
| Cleveland’* days were numbered, must
f feel like kicking himself when ho finds
out that the Western newspapers are
railing him “Dr. Z, S. Somers, a vetor
lury surgeon.” If he doesn’t, he will
certainly feel like exclaiming: “What Is
Urns 2”
Mr. Sherman’s Speech.
Senator Sherman made just the sort of
a speech at Nashville that was expected
ot him. It was a tirst-class Republican
speech, and doubtless was very satislac
tory to the Republicans of his audience.
lie argued that a protective tariff, which
the Republican party favors, is wbat the
South needs to develop her mineral re
sources and to encourage her people to
engage in manufacturing industries. He
charged that the South denied the rights
ot citizenship to the oolored voter, and
declared that the Democratic party,which
had got control of the government t>y tba
merest chance, was not oapable of grap
pling successfully with the great prob
lems with which It was confronted.
Senator Sherman is a Presidential can
didate and is engaged in making friends
In his party. He doublloss said at Nash
ville about what he thought, but it is
probable that he kept in mind all the
while the faot that he'was talking to the
North as well as to the South, and that
delegates from both sections were neces
sary to give him tho next Presidential
nomination of iiie party.
It is unnecessary to refute any of bis
statements, because they have beeu re
futed time and again on the floor of the
Senate and in the press. He said noth
ing new, but what he did sav he said
strongly. Nobody will deny that he Is a
inan of marked ability. He ought to have
remembered, however, that the largest
manufacturers in the South are not
advocates o! a protective tariff; that
the result of the recant senatorial inves
tigation of the alleged political outrages
In Texas did not sustaiu the Republican
theory that the negro is denied a free
ballot, and that tha people are so well
satisfied with the way the Democratic
party is grappling with the problems of
government that in all probability it wili
be continued In power.
Mr. Kamlall's District.
Mr. Samuel J. Randall is attracting a
good deal of attention at present. Our
dispatches yesterday stated that the Leg
islature of Pennsylvania,which is largely
Republican, and which Is now engaged
in apportioning the State into Congres
sional districts, had determined not to in
terfere with Mr. Randall’s district in Phil
adelphia. There were reports a few days
ago that some of the Republican members
ot the Legislature wasted to so change
his district as to make it Republican. He
had Republican friends, however, who
were strong enough, it seems, to defeat
their purpose. The Republican leaders
doubtless regard him as too valuable au
ally in their tight in behalf of the present
high protective tariff to permit him to be
legislated but of Congress.
There is some ground for thinking that
he will not be invited to take a front seat
when Congress meets in December. The
Courier-Journal offers to wager some
thing that he will nut be given the chair
manship ot any important committee.
Quite a Dumber of Democratic leaders
have protested against putting him
in a position ot power and in
fluence, and the number and strength
of the protests of this character will be
greatly increased when the House meets
toorganize. It is not improbable that
before the Democratic caucus nominates
Mr. Carlisle for Speaker it will require a
pledge from him that in the appointment
of the committees he will make Mr. Ran
dall understand that he bo longer enjoys
the confidence of the Democratic party.
In his speech at Nashville Senator Sher
man endeavored to make it plain that a
great difference between the Democratic
and Republican parties is that the Demo
crats favor a tariff' for revenue and the
Republicans a tariff for protection; and
while be did not sav that Mr. Randall was
an ally of the Republicans on the tariff'
issue, what he did say was calculated to
create that impression.
If the Democratic party proposes to
reform tae tariff It cannot afford to place
Mr. Randall in a position that will enable
him to hinder it from carrying out its pur
pose. It faiisd to accomplish anything
in the direction of tariff' reform last Con
gress mainly because he led a small fao
tionof Democrats to the assistance of the
Republicans who opposed it. It need not
expect to accomplish this reform If it per
mits anyone who is opposed to it to occu
py the position of one of its leaders.
Kailway Commission Points.
By some it is thought to be rather re
markable that Judge Cooley should have
given up the receivership of the Wabash
railway, which Is paying him $25,000 a
year, for an Interstate Commerce Coin
missionership, which pays only $7,500.
It is probable, however, that he argued
that the receivership would not last very
long, while he might remain a member ot
tho commission for years. And, beside*,
the honor of the place may have had sonic
for him. Ho may believe that
he can assist materially in making tho
law work smoothly. If he can he will
Increase his reputation, which is already
very considekable.
It seems to be understood that he will
he chairman and have the appointment
of the secretary. The salary is $3,500
and there are 800 applicants. He will
probably pass over all the applicants
and anoint a personal friend. Each of
the commissioners will probably be al
lowed a secretary. They have SIOO,OOO
to spend as they please, and they will
doubtless Npend some of tt to rid them
selves of all the drudgery of their posi
tions. It Is not probable that the Com
mission wlllorganize much before April 1,
The Knleigb, N. C., News and Ob
server has “scooped” all the newspapers
in the country, lor it has discovered that
Mr. Blaine has come South, bringing his
family with him. The News und Ob
server says that at a restaurant In Char
lotte, where Mr. Blaine dined the other
dav, bs made his family nurse, a negro
woman, sit at the table with him. Mr.
Blaine ought not to have done it, but it
was a small matter in comparison with
his cruelty to the press in not making
known bis Intention to visit tbe "south.
It the News and Observer has not made a
mistake,slr. Blaine is now at Aiken,S. C.
Curious developments on the subjeot of
“the color line” are rnadnln Now England
every now and then. The latest is to this
effect: The insurance companies of Con-
Beetieut relUHed to take risks upon the
lives of negroes on as favorable terms as
upon the lives of white persons. In order
to prevent the discrimination the Legis
lature of that State has just passed a bill
requiring the insurance companies to
treat the uegreui as the whites are
treated.
SAVANNAH MORNING NEWS: SATURDAY, MARCH 26, 1887.
j Secretary Lamar Unjustly t riticised
There is no doubt that the Indians have
j been pretty badly treated in times past
I by agents of the government in the AVest,
and it is certain that a great many In
dians have received much better treat
ment than they deserved. The Apaches,
tor instance, have not hesitated to rob
and murder Innocent settlers whenever
j the opportunity to do so has presented
itself. No amount of kind trea’inent has
beer. sufficient to induce them to remain
011 their reservation and oonduct them
selves in a quiet and orderly way in ac
cordance with their pledges. It seems,
however, that these bad Indians have
sympathizers who are trylug to create
the impression that tbe government has
been guilty of treating them with great
harshness and injustice.
Tue case ie f erri dto espeolally Is that
of the Cblricabua Apaches who are now
prisoners at Fort Marion, Fa. There aro
uo worse Indians in the country than
these Apaohes, and their chief, Chatto, is
about as bloodthirsty a murderer, from
all accounts, as has ever had the freedom
of the Western plains.
Chatto and his murderous gang, how
ever, have a sympathizer in Mr. Herbert
Walsh, the corresponding secretary of
the Indian Rights Association, who lately
paid them a visit. Mr. Walsh has pub
lished some statements which are calcu
lated to create the impression that these
Apaohes are the victims of bad taith on
the part of Air. Lamar, the Secretary of
the Interior. According to his story
Chatto and fourteen of his band went
to Washington to have a talk with the
Secretary, who wanted them to consent
to be removed from Arizona to Florida.
They refused, and while on their way
home they were, according to Air. Walsh,
switched off from their home route, and,
without a word of warning, taken as
prisoners to Florida.
Mr. Walsh, if he had been desirous of
getting at the exact truth, would have
made iaqulries about the matter at the
proper souroes of information. He
would then have learned that the
Apaches were not kidnapped and
taken to Florida against their wili,
and that Secretary Lamar had
nothing whatever to do with taking them
there. It is true that he invited them to
Washington, and told Chatto that his
record was so bad that the people of Ari
zona wanted to get rid of him. When
Chatto refused to leave the Sau Carlos
reservation the Secretary turned him and
his companions over to the War Depart
ment to be taken back to Arizona. When
the party reached Leavenworth Chatto
learned that warrants were out for him
and many of his braves in Arizona for
murder and other crimes committed
there. He concluded that it wouldn’t be
healthy for him to go back to his reserva
tion, and begged to be taken to Florida.
His request was complied with, and he
and his band are now at Fort Marion,
where they are likely to stay for some
time.
From this it appears that Air. Walsh's
sympathy for the bloodthirsty Apaches
led him into making a very grave mis
take. The Apaohes are better off where
they are than they would be in Arizona,
because at Fort Marion they have the
prospect ot reaohing a pretty ripe old age.
In Arizona their lives wouldn’t be worth
much. Their crimes in that Territory
have been too numerous to entitle them
o a iong lease of life there.
The proper thing for Air. Walsh to do
now is to Irankly acknowledge that when
he published his statement ne wasn’t ac
quainted with the (acts, and that he bad
no valid excuse for not learning them be
fore i*amar.
High License in New York.
The Crosby high license bill pending
before the New York Assembly has pass
ed tbe House and will, it Is believed, easi
ly pass the Senate. It places tbe whisky
license at SI,OOO and the beer license at
SIOO, and applies only to New Y'orkcity
and Brooklyn.
Its friends are confident that it will do
a vast amount of good, because it will shut
up a very largo percentage of the low
groggeries where young men are corrupt
ed and criminals are graduated.
Of course much wiil depend upon the
men who will have the administration ot
the law. If they wink at Its violation the
good it will accomplish will be very little.
It is probable, however, that the advo
cates of high license will keep an eye on
the authorities and prevent the law from
being evaded.
The saloon men, as a rule, are strongly
opposed to the proposed law, and their
newspaper organ is trying to dofeat it by
ridiculing it. This organ proposes th*.
instead of waking tho saloon keepers pay
a license a law ought to be enacted com
pelling every one who drinks wine,
whisky or beer to take out a license, those
drinking the finest wines paying the
highest tax, and those drinking whisky
and beer paying only a nominal one.
This Utter plan has the advantage of
novelty, and it might help along the
cause of temperance, It is not probable,
however, that it will bs tried yet awhile.
In tine meantime New York ami Brook
lyn may as well begin to prepare for a
season ot high license. If weak-kneed
men can bo kcut out of the Legislatuie it
is probable that high license will remain
longer than a season, it is a good thing
and should bocomo permanent.
Representatives IV. C. Whitthorue and
Thomas Johnson are known as the dudes
of the Tennessee Legislature. The other
day they engaged 111 a heated discussion
which resulted iu a dreadful affray.
Whitthorue exclaimed: ".lohnsou, John
son, you are a puppy; Johuson, if you
were not u coward I would strike you.”
Johnson drew himself up melodramati
cally and replied: “Lav your hand* 011
me at your peril.” Wblttnorno gently
placed his right hand on Johnson’s arm.
Toe ether Representatives were about to
faint, but they concluded not to do so,
when they observed that only one of
IVhltthorne’s hand* rested upon John
son’s arm. Tho affray was dreadful, but
it would have been terrilio if IVhit
tliorne had placed both hands on John
son’s arm.
Mrs. James Brown Potter, through her
London attorneys, indignantly denies
that she ever said she was going on the
stage to “elevate” It, Tue l-oiulon cor
respondent of toe New York Herald, who
reportod that she did say so. Insists that
be quoted her words. Airs. Potter is un
fortunate to get Into a tangle with the
atrical people and newspaper men right
at the beginning of her histrionic career,
CURRENT COMMENT.
Bonnd te Rave What They Want,
From the Xetc IV, Herald (/ rul.)
The Americans are the best people in the
world u> meet an emergency. What ibey
want they are bound to have, even If they
wnittle it out of nothing with a jackknife.
The Work of the Pres*.
From the yrrc Tort World {Pern.)
Whatever Mr, Dougherty may think about
it. the people kuow that though the press is
not free from error, and is still below the
high ideal which It nuzht reach, it is never
theless the most potent actual force in check
ing corruption, securing good government
and promoting every good work that now ex
ists in tins country.
Fearless Senator Sherman.
Frjia the y. eh villa A me-icon ( Pem.)
We trust that Senator Sherman, when he
gets to his homo iu Ohio, will be frank
enough to tell Ids t onstituenis that he was
mu once u v sailcd by Southern ku t ut. and
that he passed in and out among the bloody
rebel ruffians without being once shot at.
This will show Senator Sherman’s constitu
ents what a bold and tearless man he is.
Not a Change of Faith.
From the Chattanooga Time* (Pen. )
The Savannah News sav Alai. Wallace,
of the Georgia Uadroad Commission, is op
posed to the interstate commerce law, and
the News inquires if the Maj r "leu expe
rienced a change of faith.” No change of
faith is indicated in the premise*. The Ma
jor ha* merely found out that Slate regula
tion dou't regulate, and he fears that nation
al regulation will prove a more costly failure
and thus break up the business.
BRIGHT BITS.
A Philadelphia naper asked: “Is there a
wife in the city to-day who makes her hus
band’s shirisV" 'the following answer was
received by return mad: “I do. but he won’t
wear ’em.'" —Surhngtun F'ree Free*.
A notice posted in a certain town reads:
“Cash paid for butchers’ hides.” This shows
the accommodating spirit of the age. Aboue
factory announces that “farmers can have
their bones ground and returned the same
day.”— Xew Orleans Picayune.
Amateur Artist (to friend; —It’s rather
an ambitious subject, Charlie. I call it "‘The
Gatheringof the Hosts.”
Friend—What does that big block of eagles
signify, Fred, or are they vultures?
Amateur artist (faintly)—Neither, Charlie;
they are angels.— Life.
After the accident; She—Were vou hurt
mui li, Mr. De Dee do?
Air. de D.—Aw. Aliss Claiwa, I was, aw,
knocked senseless, don’t yen know.
She—Oil, J’m so glad you escaped. They
toid mo you had been injured.
Air. de 1). wonders what she means.— Wash
ington Critic,
“Will you trust me. Fanny?” he cried,
passionarely grasping her hand.
“With all my. heart, Augustus, with all
my soul, with all myself.” she whispered,
nestling on his manly bosom.
“Would to heaven you were ray tailor,” he
murmured in a sotto voce, aud tenderly he
took her to his arms.— Washington Critic.
Mamma—What’s the maHtcr, Bertie? I
thought you’d stay and play with Tommy
Carroll all the afternoon.
Bertie—Tommy ain’t got no fuu in him.
Mamma—He hasn’t?
Bertie—No; we was playin’ house, and
every time I hit him with the whip he yelled.
I don’t want a cry-baby around mo.—Tid-
Site.
•‘Do you never have any social gatherings
here?” said a Northern man who was on a
visit to Arkansas.
“Oh, ves. We have boss races, log rollln’s,
dog tights and shoutin' matches.”
“I mean hops aud soirees.”
“You net. We have ter hop 'round and
saw rail timber as much as anybody.”—Good
all’e Sun.
“What Is the leading branch in your
school?” asked a lady of a teacher. ,
Before tue teacher could vouchsafe a reply,
a little hoy interrupted the conversation
with:
“I know!”
“And what is it, little boy?” asked the lady.
“That switch in the corner, ma’am.”—Cart
Pretzel's Weekly.
Omaha Husband—Now I think this is go
ing too far. You promised me you would
countermand your order for that dress.
Omalia Wife—l wrote to the firm that very
day.
“But here is the dress and the bill for it—
enough to bankrupt me almost. How do you
expiain that?”
“I gave you the letter to mail and I sup
pose yon to-got it as usual.”— Omaha World.
Self-Respecting Citizen—l am in favor
of nn indignation meeting to denounce tbe
ballet.
Ordinary Citizen—My dear sir, why tine
antipathy?
“Because it is vicious, indecent, immoral,
disgusting, brazen”
“Good gracious! I never detected any of
those thing* when 1 saw it.”
“Possibly not, 1 have never seen it, there
fore I speak with confidence.”— Philadelphia
Call.
Omaha Child—What’s the reason barber’s
poles look like sticks or mint candy, papa?
Omaha Papa—tu the oldea time people
thought they must have some of their blood
let out when sick, ami barbers were the sur
geons. The red -tripe on the pole therefore
represents the olood and the white stripe the
bandage.
“But what no they use tho same kiudof
pole* now for?”
“Well, nowadays the wtiite stripes repre
sent the lint which ihe barber plasters ou the
cuts after shaving.”— Omaha World.
PERSONAL.
John Bright is 77 and “as bright as a slick
shilling.”
Julian Hawthorne has withdrawn from
his position as literary editor of the New
York World.
The wife of Secretary AThitney has begun
a series ot musiculcs not unlike those which
were so popular a year ago.
The Princess Royal or Lisbon aud the
Crown Pginces- of Denmark have both given
birth to sous within the last few days.
Ujv. John Peter Richardson, of South
Carolina, is a son of the late Gov. John Peter
Richardson. Four Richardsons bavegoverned
the Palmetto state.
Princess Likilike's alleged suicide is offi
cially denied in Honolulu. “Kalakaua’s sis
icr” Bays the court physician of the Sandwich
Islands died of heart disease, not of voluntary
starvation.
George Gould has settled into such a re
tired state of domesticity since hi* marriage
liiat all his former friends are growling at his
so-called ffegleet. Hi* one aim now is said
to be to rival his father’s success.
I’rinck Upward of Baxo Welnier writes
that 011 a hunting party given ill hi* honor bv
the Rajah or Rehoro there were bagged nine
tigers, three bears, six rhinoceroses, four
teen buffaloes, twenty-two stags and five wild
hogs.
Klijah Smith, the Oregon railway mag
nate, thinks breakfast the great meal of the
day. He takes no lunch ami is careless about
dltinor, hut starts In on every day’s work
with his stomach supp'ied with un amount
of food which will suffice for at least teu
hours.
The President has a prejudice against
“club men.” He says: “1 don’t know Ahat
I over kuew of a club man who ever over
crowded himself with work.” Mr. Cleve
land is evidently unacquainted with the eu
rrgetic and fatiguing efforts some club men
make pi kill time—especially tho base hall
clubmen.
Mr. Blaine has written to a friend In New
York Hint he has been working harder in ibe
last two months than at any period of lint
life, lleiias been engaged in the revision of
Ins speeche* and paper* for publication, lie
proposes to lake a rest next month and a run
out to the Indian Territory to pays visit to
his daughter, Mrs. Coppluger,
Now that Queen Victoria has concluded to
get a Idlle enjoyment nut of life and lia*
treated her-elf to a eirons maiineo, one of M.e
••au;e agitators I • cruel enough to suggest that
she is losing her mind and following in me
fiHilsiept of thn late King of Havana. To
ear hew places of amusement for more (ban
twenty vear* smacks of insanity of a gentle
k md. I'm: Queen seems to bo .Imply waking
up.
Prof. Amikkhon, United Hints* Minister
to Denmark, has written to a friend u< Wi.
cm tin Indignantly denying the reports mr
rent coscei iilng his niggardly style of life.
Be says that ms apartments consist of a first
Hour .iiiii part of the second aud that III*
housekeeper Is the widow of a professor who
taught King George of Greece, lie further
assart* mat he dines nut. Be realizes the
difficulty of Informing the Su,ooU,oon people In
A in-nr,s of 1 ho.e facts Those f the people
who learn thorn, however, will be much re
lieved.
I’IOUS HUM HUGS.
Rev Mr. Mlngins Fitches Into Them
at tile Union Tabernacle.
From the Few York Herald.
“Pious Humbugs” was the subject that the
| Rev. George J. Mingins preached about last
; evening at the Union Xabcrnaclo on West
Thirty-fifth street.
“I would like to have you all come to the
Saturday night meetings,” he said. “You
get more truth on Saturday night i han you do
on Sunday morning. I have more time to
polish it up Oa Sunday morning I fire it at
you in chunks,
"Wo are a sort of Christian trades union
here, to get up strikes against the devil.”
The preacher took for his text the story of
the Good Samaritan.
“Almost all the misery in the world seems
to consist of two kinds—that which men bring
upon themselves and that which men bring
upon each other.
“I saw a tr end die recently in Philadel
nhia and saw him tossed into a grave in the
Potters’Field, liefore he died lie said: ’Look
at me and see how a man can do himself
greater wrong than could all the devils in
hell.’
“Men make me sick when they talk about
luck. If they would kick drink out of them
selves luck might come. I don’t wonder that
luck stays a way from them when their breath
smells so bad.
“There are seventy thousand children In
this city to-night who are almost sure to
come to a had end because the pious humbugs,
like the priest and the Levite, rofuse to help
them.
“A poor woman whose life has been blasted,
who is more sinned against than sinning, goes
down to the eud of her miserable life shunned
by all. No one will touch her forfearof their
reputation, while niueteen-twoutieths of
them are nions humbugs just as had as she,
01 ly they are not found out. There are
thousands of men in this city who live on
rapine. So long as they wear patent leather
hoots and a Dunlap hat they go around the
world doing what wrong they choose and
every one will be their friend, while the poor
outcast who commits a crime to fill his stom
ach is jumped upon.
“The churches are full of pious humbugs.
You can’t walk a block without dislocating
your shoulder by running against one.
" Where there is no humanity there Is no
religion or piety.
“The uiggest humbug X eyer knew dressed
in all the priest y garments that he could
possibly wear. He wore a pious hat, a long
tailed coat and one of those vests that you
can’t tell how they are buttoned.
“We have got lotß of dignified CUristian’ty
that won’t touch anything in rags. Thev just
pity it. but don’t help. Pity without help is
an impertinence.
“When God really gets hold of your heart
you want to ‘whack it up’ with everybody.
"The other day a poor woman, who had
been turned out by her husband, went to a
minister in tins city and begged for five cents
to buy bread for her child.
“‘No, 1 can’t help you. You don’t belong
to my congregation,’ said he.
*“D n such Christianity!’ said she, and
I believe God will forgive her for it.
“The humbug! "God be with you. brother,’
leaves you just as hungry as ever. There are
so man? pious humbugs nowadays that the
world is beginning to despise our religion.
“I remember when a Methodist haled a
Presbyterian like poison, and an Episcopalian
would not look at either, and when if a Ro
man priest bad written such a letter as one
did the other day he would have been kicked
high out of Rome. Fortunately these little
differences that don’t amount to much are
being overlooked.
“The Chicago ministers who refused to
sympathize wiili Mrs. Beecher are certainly
lineal descendants of the priest and the
Levite.
“How easy it is to preach! It’s the prac
ticing that bothers me. When I die you’ll
know how sanctified I am—never before.”
IN A NEW ROLE.
Assistant Secretary Thompson Revives
a Swooning Bride,
From Wathinjton Letter to the Baltimore Sun.
Assistant Secretary Thompson, of the
Treasury Department, is said to he an expert
in reviving swooning persons, but not until
last week did he have an opportunity to dis
play his skill In that lino for the benefit of
his official associates. A party of New Eng
land excursionists were passing through the
department, among them being a newly mar
ried couple, in consequence of over exer
tion or the poor sanitarv condition of the
Treasury, the bride fell' in a faint imme
diately in front of Mr. Thompson’s office.
Hearing the commotson in the corridor, Mr.
Thompson opened ills door and taking in the
situation at a glance, directed that the faint
ing lady be laid upon-toe sofa in his room.
The young husband was almost frantic, and
with an utter disregard for the presence
of strangers, he endeavored to re
| store his wife to conscious
ness by pressing her to his bosom and caress
ing her extravagantly. Mr. Thompson sug
gested Ills infallible remedy of stretching the
patient upon her back, with her head down
ward. so as to allow the btood to circulate to
the brain. The young husband at first re
monstrated against what seemed to him to he
treatment too heroic lor bis belter half, out
he finally consented, and in a few minutes the
young lady was restored and the happy
couple rejoined their friends, and continued
their sightseeing expedition. Mr. Tbomp-on
says he obtained his experience in fatutii.g
cases trom old Dr. Gittings, or Columbia. S.
C. The doctor was called upon to administer
to a lady who had fainted. Upon his arrival
he found the patient stretched out upon a
sofa, with a high pillow under her head. The
doctor’s first instructions were to “take that
pillow from under her head and place the
family Bible under her hcele, a n't she will he
all right in a minute.” Mr. Thompson never
forgot this remedy, and he has practiced it
repeatedly with great success.
The Song the S reus Sang.
In sea caves dark and rocks where hides
The restless wind that haunts the sea.
Whore murmuring waves and moaning tides
Ghant their unceasing melody;
In meadows bright with fadeless Spring.
Where dead men’s hones the light defiles,
What were the sor.gs they used to sing—
The sirens of tbissuuuy isle?
Soft breathed and tender, sweet and low,
Across the waters dark and wild.
The wanderer heard their numbers flow.
And all his soul their charm beguiled;
Swift through tho breakers’ snowy foam.
Ho drove his bark with panting breath,
Forgetting wife and child and home.
While sirens Bang him to his death.
We know their songs—they had hut one—
Odysseus heard tlis fateful ttdDg;
And madness seized Laertes’ eon.
Who heard “Tho flowers that Bloom in
Spring;”
And still unchanged in air or word.
The slreus sing, with tireless breath,
Thesame oldsong Ulysses heard.
And with it still sing men to death,
ROBKKT J. BfiKDETTK.
Brother Vagabonds.
From the San FrancAtci Pott,
A distinguished literary man of Oakland
stood up ill the Police Court to answer to the
usual charge of vagrancy. "I oblect, your
honor,” he said with dignity, “to this perse
cution of gentlemen who follow tho profes
sion of letters, and—” “1 understand,” in
terrupted the .Judge, “that you were found
seeping under a doorstep; that you have no
visible means of support, and that you have
the influence of liquor.”
tho prisoner,”though i mu
as poor as Richard Savage, when ho made In
bed in the ashes of u glass factory; as drunken
as Dick Steel, who was rail nine-tenths of ins
time; as ragged as Goldsmith when he was on
his Uddltng tour; as immoral as Byron, as
dirty as Sam .Johnson, as ” “There
there!” cried his honor Impatieully, “I’ve no
doubt your associates are a disreputable lot,
and I shall deal with yon in such a manner as
to cause them to give Oakland a wide berth.
Sixty days with hard labor. Mr. Clerk,
furnish the constable wiih the names of the
vagabonds mentioned by the prisoner.”
Hit I'lllUMfl,
from th s WanMni/ton Critic.
One of tli bftmUomest of the railroad pn.
scng'-r agents wnon the avenue yesterday
Afternoon cutting a wide swathe among the
girl* when a eiil/.en accosted him:
• Ain’t you nun of the visiting passenger
•genie?" he asked politely
•■Viia, sir.” was the equally polite reply.
” lo ton puss anybody?”
•'No. sir; not since the passage of the Inter
state commerce bill.”
‘ 'Are yoe sure?” the citizen testily conlln
ued.
"ijiiltesure.” the passenger agent said em
phatically
•' I don't believe It."
“lio yon mean to say I’m "
•Don't get excited.” inlerriipted the citi
zen. con singly; ”J don't mean to sav anything
except that you tlo pass somebody, for I Jui
saw you pass the best looking girl on the ave
mio. and she smiled at you in a way that no
man with a heart m him Oonld have resisted •
what sort of fellow are you, anyhow?" Ao.l
before the passenger agent oouid recover the
citizen na 1 Uterppcarea.
ITEMS OP INTEKKST.
Tnk consumption of told in the arts of the
United States is estimated at about $3 500,000
per annum, and in the world ai 120,000.000.
When the steamer 1-epanto was 750 miles
from Boston, coming West, a perfectly white
owl—a beautiful specimen, with wings four
feet and a half from tip to tip—alight ed upon
the dock and was captured. The bird weighs
eight pounds.
Sheriff Rowan, of Philadelphia, who is in
an insane asylum, is a lunatic of a peculiar
kind. He remembers nothing and recognizes
no one except his wife, but when she is with
him he is as rational as ever. The trouble is
that he then insists on going to his office, and
tho moment he leaves her side he becomes a
maniac agaiu.
That German who has invented a simple
method of deadening tiie sound of the piano
deserves a monument of solid gold. The con
trivance consists merely of the application of
fine flannel to the frame between ihe strings
and hammers of an upright piano. The sound
can he graduated at will without injuring the
quality of the tone.
Farmers in the southwestern part of Con
necticut are being duped by agents who are
going about obtaining their signatures to a
pledge not to destroy song birds,which in due
time proves to be a signature to a promissory
note, which by some means gets to a farmer
through a bank and which ihe farmer had
rather pay than fight the rascals.
A decidedly big mining scheme is about to
be launched in California. It is no less than
a twelve mile tunnel for draining the entire
group of mines in Nevada City and Grand
'alley The water power of the Yuba river
will tie used to drive the drills and propel tho
cars. The tunnel, where It enters the mines,
will be 1,200 feet below the surface.
A mechanical expkrt given to curious in
vestigations estimates that the tooting of a
locomotive on the New York, New Haven
and Hartford railroad in an ordinarv day’s
run, involves a wate of steam requiring ihe
consumption of 280 pounds of coal to renew.
He estimates the whistling expenses of that
particular railway at $16,000 per year.
A traveling venwriloqpist attended
churh one Sunday morning recently in
Western Missouri. The sermon was a long
one and he fell fast asleep. While in this un
conscious condition he performed one of his
ordinary professional tricks—that of imitat
ing the sound of a dog fight nn the outside. In
less than teu seconds the church was empty.
Paris has discovered anew poet, Jehan
Sarrazin by name, who is not a peasant like
Rollins, has not been puffed by Albert Wolff,
does not know Sarah Bernhardt, is not a Par
i-inn or a man of the world, nut is a peddler
of olives in a concert hall. He sells his hooks
with his olives, is becoming wealthy, has real
talent iu him and will be famous, so they say.
There lies in a New York hospital an aged
and almost friendless invalid whoa£ name
was once famous in the world of letters.
George R. Graham was for many years the
leading publisher of Philadelphia. For Gra
ham's Magazine Edgar Allan Poe wrote much
of his best work. Graham was at one tune
part owner of the Philadelphia North Ameri
can He was, ihirtv-five or forty years ago,
a power in the literarylworld, but would now
he in the poorlionse were it not for the kind
ness of a philanthropic Philadelphian.
Every one knows that the sea has larger
animals than can he found on land; but, with
the enormous sequoias of California in mind,
many may be surprised to learn of vegetable
growths in the ocean vastly exceeding in
length, though not in hulk, these giants of the
forest. Recently the ship Clever, commanded
by Capt. John Stone, arrived at Montevideo
with a portion of a seaweed wnieh had been
picked up in tiie Atlantic near the equator.
The sailors neroeived an object floating on the
surface some distance from the ship, and.
manning a boat, they rowed to It. and ascer
tained that it was an alga of enormous size.
On measnr ng it. it was tound to have a
length upward of 1,500 feet.
The amusing contempt displayed by
Americans and Englishmen for foreigners
recalls a story which was told a few years
ago when Mr. Gladstone and the Poet
Laureate were cruising about under the care
of Sir Donald Currie. At Copenhagen a
party of roval and grand ducal personages
who. at the time, were visiting the Court of
Denmark, boarded the Pembroke Castle. A
Danish aide, in descending to (he saloon,
tripped on the top stair and plunged head-’
long to the bottom with a blood-curdling
howl. Hearing Ihe disturbance the captain
dispatched a petty officer tosoe what was th”
matter. In a few moments the latter re
turned. “One of ’em fallen down the after
hatchway, sir!” “One of whom?” “One o’
them kings!”
In Covington, Ky., a few days ago a little
boy, the son of Mrs. N. Dean, while playing
n the yard tell Into the cellar, which had
about three feet of water in it, and when
taken out was pronounced dead by the at
tending physician. A gentleman, attracted
by theories of the mother, stepped into the
house and suggested that someone should
Place his month to the boy’s and draw in a
gmd bro*th. Tiie suggestion was derided,
hut the boy’s grandmother fancying that it
might-do sme good, tried it, repeating the
operation again and avain. At last those
present were gratified to notice that there
Were signs of the child returning to life.
Thus encouraged, the lady renewed her ef
forts, aud in a short time the child was re
stored to life, and was kicking and veiling
vigorously.
The following story, the truth of which is
vouched for. is related of the “Right Reverend
Father in Bod. the Lord Bishop of Man
chester,” who sits as one of the spiritual peers
ia the House of Lords. It appears that the
portly prelate, who for some time acted as
Bishop of Melbourne in Australia, developed
'< hile in the colony strong sporting proclivi
ties which still cling to him. Ho keep, a
most ferocious bull terrier in his palace at
Manchester, and when he wants to unbend
his mind and also to unbend his dog he leads
i he liglv-hea ‘ed beast iuto the backyard aud
introduces him to another animal of "the same
species. Then the tw - animals jaw each
other and tear pieces out of each other’s ribs.
The Bishop is described as dancing around
rncanw hile and ohecring on his own pup If
the other dog gets the best of it. however, the
Bishop Is said to take one long stride with his
Episcopal legs, and, taking him bv the tail, to
"roi> hiln over the garden wad. In order to
lullv appreciate the picture it must be added
that the Bishop is very stout.
An Irish gentleman staying at tho Fifth
Avenue Hotel said the other day: "Your
newspapers here are making much *.Jo about
transferring rabbit’s eyes to men’s heads.
Why, that is a tame operation compared with
whac was done by a friend of mine in the
county Limerick last year. This eminent
oculist—whose name might as well he Mori
arty as anything else-had just takeu out the
eyes of a woman to clean, and placed th-m
on a saucer while engaged with the sockets
when, unfortunately, they were pounoeil
upon by a favorite cat and swallowed. But
ihe oculist did not lose his presence of mind
He seized the eat and before you could aav
Jack ltohinr.on whipped out her eye. and
transferred them to the vacant hole, in the
head of hla patient with that skill for which
he is so justly celebrated. As for the woman
•he was enraptured when she found that'
though in a dark loom, she could see as weli
as with ihe light of a thousand lamps. The
fame of the doctor spread tar and wide after
tnis, nor waa it lessened when a month later
Mrs. O’B— leaped into ihe river aftor a big
water rat and was drowned.”
Matthbw Lyon, a naturalized Irishman,
when a representative in Congress from Ver
mont was flood *I,OOO and imprisoned tour
months for publishing a letter calculated to
bring President .John Adams “into con
tempt.” He wan strongly opposed to every
tliine that was royal or sovereign; ami when
a national coinage was discu-s ■<! he objected
to the eagle being put on, because lie was ihe
king of birds and therefore inappropriate a*
a Republican emblem Jm go Thatcher, ot
Massachlis"tts, who was always character
ized by Kood-aniiired mirthlillness, rcilied
that perhaps it would be well to take im
goo e for our emblem, for that bird
hail nothing majestic in her d>port
me nt; or ton id her humble rank nmong the
leathered tribe give offense to the most fastid
ious republican. Moreover icouudu. the
Judge), goslings would oe a verv convenient
stamp I T the ten-penny pieces hiu! lippennv
bits. Tins caused a great deal <>f niirtii
among the meinnors, excepting l.yon, who
was so offended by It that he challenged tnc
facetious Judge lo a duel "What arrange
nionts will you make v ” inquir'd the man
whoc.arriea tlie challenge. "None at nil.”
replied lhe judge. “Why: are \nu willing to
be called a coward?” "Yes, because lama
coward, and ho knew it verv well, or he never
would havoebullengeii mo.” This uirned the
laugh upou l.yon. who wisely concluded tbeie
was no use in tr> Ing to tight with a man who
Itrod nothing but jokes.
Broum’o 3rm
A QUESTION ABOUT'
Browns Iron
Bitters
ANSWERED.
iblug?" Wall. i, doesn't. But it doeicu™
gjj which a reputable physician would proMribiluos
Physicians recognize Iron as the beat r4t?,.. S
agent known to the profession, and lnaiim,,. '
leading chemical firm will substantiate
that there are more preparations of iron than 0f,2
other subetance used in medicine This shows
clusiveiy that iron is acknowledged to bo the
important factor in snocossf ul medical practice r,' •
however, a remarkable fact, that prior to tho Hi..
en of BROWN’S 1 KON* BITTERS no
ly sittstaotory Iron oombmation had ever beenfomls
BROWN’S IRON BinERS&iaS
headache, or prodnoe constipation -all other Go.
medicines do. BROWN’S IRON BITTFhS
cures Indigestion. Biliousness, Wenkn.—
Dyspepsia, Malaria, Chills mid FeverZ
Tired Feeling,General Debility,p„j n p,
Hide, Back or Limbs,Headache and Neural
gia-for all these adments Don is prescribed daC,
BROWN'S IRON BITTERS,!sSt"
oenenfc is renewed energy. The muscle, th™
firmer, the digestion improves, the bowels areSf
In irontrn the effect is usually more rapid andms?S
T^ ye 7. , K* , * m ,‘ tonoe to brighten; the skCd™
up; healthy color comes to the cheeks; nervouraZ
disappears; functional derangement*beoume 2?
!ar, and if a nursing mother, abundant suXiTSL'
IS supplied for the child. Remember Brown’ ?!-
Bitters is the ONLY iron medicinethe™ m,U?
jurious. Physicians and Druggists recommend it. W
The Genuine has Trade Mark and crossed red lia
wrapp?T T AKK \ r O OTwun
jDrt) (OooDe.
mm
DRESS GOODS
DEPARTMENT.
Our Spring Novelties in
this Department is now re
ceived on exhibition.
The Ladies are especially
invited to call and examine
the most complete assort
ment of Fine Goods ever
Displayed in this city.
(Mitts,
SUCCESSORS TO
B. F. McKenna & Co. l
fsitPttm.
SAVES MONET
One box of these pills will *rs man.’
tollara In rtoeter's hi Ila. They * r '
ipcclally prepared as a
Family Medicine,
and sup piles a oantbmg fell, They r*l
note nnbenltliy aeenmulution* rriin
he Ixxly, nithoul nausea or |{ r >Pj*s
idapted to young and old. i*rlce, -oo ,
soljj EVEitywm^^
PENNYROYAL PILLS
“CHICHESTER’S ENGLISH."
The Original and Only flenulne. 1
Safe and alwa,, llelibt. Bowareof wurtlilsss I
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"Chichester'* Kncllnlr'and uk -ao other, or fi
to ua for particular* in UtUr by return mm .
NAME CAPER, Chichester Chemical Oh.
*8 1 8 UnAUvn Hqusre* rkIUMn *
Hold by Dranlit* everywhere. Auk for **<’hlf to*
Uir’i KBiUhii" iVnnjrojml
Ijair fl
ZfigmStZ PARKER’S
HAIR BALSAM
tho pop’ilar favorlto for (iresd™
KsmSEhT ts.nl tho hair, Restoring color
< J&I gray, and preventing I'swWJ;
is* "3 It clean sea Hie scalp, s 10 ?’ “
[V, hair faliing, and is sure to P 1 ®’*
?1 60c. and *l.ooHlPnigg^^,
HINDERCORN3.
Tho safe *t, surent and beflteure for Corn*,
Btopeall peln. Knaiiraa comfort to tho foot. M*v j
touuia 1& centa at X>r\4?gl3ta Iliaco* <&
jltluotral. £’ 1
The WASHBURN AMERICAN QUIT* 1 ? ..V
AND MANDOLIN
I Jr,
Finn* tonad, moat 'r-^r
riuraWln, and ihmumwn thn ocil>
•bnolutaly corrm-t acala. Wnrrar'tod
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Catalog uu rani lad fre* by Ui Manufacture-
LYON A HEALY, 102 Btao St.. ChiQAg*.
gDucatlonai.
Martyn’ii CoMiaerciil t#Uett )d)jt
813 Sixth street, Washington, L<. *T
practically nselttl busineas educate, 1 “•
terms nor vacations. Students enter_ . f#
lime, Turms—Lire •sclio.arship, H u . larc ir.
weeks’ course, board, etc., 8 **“ 101
cular.