Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

THE Hid bt published cnery SJi i LL DA I Mar at,. In the TiCn-Story Boudin. Buildings at the Corner of Walnut and fifth Street, IS THE CITY OF MACO.V, GA. 15 V U MI. 15. IIA I£iClM>\. TERMS. For tba Papor, in advance, por annum, s>2. if not paid in advinco, 50, per annum. If not paid until the end of the Year $3 00. iTf” Advertisements will be inserted at the usual rates —and when the number of insertions de -Bir .and is not specified, they will be continued un til forbid and charged accordingly. jj*.\dv jrtisers by the Year wilfbe contracted with upon the most favorable terms. XT' S ties of Lao I by Administrators, Executors orGuar lun?, are required by Law, to be held on the first Tu js<lay in the month, between the hours of ten o’clock in th: Forenoon and three in the Af ter:! >tn, at the Court House of the county in which tiie Property is situate. Notice ofthese Sales must be given in a public gazette sixty days previous to the day of sale fj* S ties of Negroes by A Iministators, Execu tes or Hoar lians, must be at Public Auction, on tie first Tuesday in the i month, b-tween the legal h mrs of sale, before the Court House of the county w.iere tne Letters Testamentary, or Administration or Guardianship may have been granted, first giv ing notice thereoffor sixty and ays, in one ofthe pub. Vic gazettes of this State, and at the door oi the Court House where such sales are to be held. Jj* Notice for the sale of Personal Property must be given in like manner forty days previous to the day of sale. jvVotice to the Debtors and Creditors o'.an Es tate nut be published for forty days. that application will be made to the Court of Ordiniry for leave to sell Land or Ne groes m Ist oe p iblUhe 1 in a public gazette in this S,it: for four mostiiS, before any order absolute c in !>e given by the Court. j* ,’trvruvsiir Letters of A I mi nisfr.it on on ,ii Hcira, grantedbv tie Court of Ordinary,must be p iblishe l r.it ’.rv o vvs forLettersofDisrnis soifrontie iln l.str ition ofan Estate, monthly f,- six i mi ns —f>r Dis nisei >n from GuarJian ship FORTY DAYS. J*.tui.K3 for the f ireclosure of a Mortgage, i must be puolished monthly for four months for establishing lost Papers, for the full space of three months —for co npellm' Titles from Ex ecutors, Administrators or others, where a Bond hasbeen given by the deceased, the full space of THREE MONTHS. X. IS. All Bui ness of th s kind shall recoiv pro npt ittentionat the SOUTHERN MUSEUM O fi :•», an l s r.et care wi II be taken that all legal Advertisements are published accord ng to Law. Xj* \ll Letters direete I to this Office or the E litor on business, inus: be post-paid, to in sure afention. *■ i Jui 4’ a' 1, .4.4 »*'J t»4k.»A' .” »|VIE undersigned, t’lie to Ins promise, again I presents to the Public more da non wlin-li they can safely base their calculations relative ti the respective merits ofthe depleting system of the disciples of Esculapiu*, and of that invig orating and piilogestic one of which he is proud to he the advocate.. Leaving the stilts of egotism and sliaf sos rid icule for the use of those who have nothing bet ter to stand on, and no other weapons for attack •or defence, he selects his standing ori truth, and uses such support only as merit gives him ; and for weapons, ho chooses simply to assail the ranks of the enemy occasionally with “a little more grape,” in the form of facts,which are evi dently the hardest kind of arguments since they oftonad minister to Ins quiet amusement by the terrible destruction they cause among the stilts and the ludicrous effect they produce in causing certain individuals to laugh,as it is expressed in homely phrase, “on t’other side the mouth.” The Mexicans aro not the only people, these days, whom vanitj has blinded to their own de fects ; neither can they claim much superiority in the way of fancied eminence and blustering bravado over many that live a great deal nearer Inline. A salutary lesson has latterly been giv en the former by the Americans, and the latter , may ere long take “ another of the same ” ala mode de Taylor. After the following there will still be “a few more left.” Georgia, lones County. 1848. This certifies that for more than four or five years my wife was afflicted with a disease pecu liar to her sex, and notwithstanding all that we cmilil do, she still continued to get worse. The Physicians in attendance had e h.m-led their skill without rendering Iter any assistance till, in 1844, when she was confined to her bed in a very low condition, I got her lasi attendant to go with rite to Macon and lay her case before Dr. M. 8. Thomson, who, without having seen her, prescribed and sent her medicine that soon re lieved her, and in the course of a short time re stored her to permanent health She has now . been well about four years and rejoices in tiie ■ recovery of her lung lost health FRANCIS E. HASCAL. Macon. .June 2‘2d, 1848. Dr. M. S. Thomson Dear Sir: —Deeming it n duly I owe to yourself ns well as to the afflicted generally, 1 have oonchtded to give you a short statement of my case, which von are at liberty to publish if you think that the best mode of thereby subserving the interests of suffering humanity In May 1841, after considerable exposure to cold, | was attacked with Asllmia, which pros trated me very much, and notwithstanding all that could be done to prevent it, it continued to return about every two weeks till in 1846, I ap plied to you. Between these attacks I had a very severe cough, which led some of the physicians to whom I applied to believe that I had consump tion. I applied to physicians of both the Min eral and Botanic schools, of eminent general qualifications, but all to no benefit, for I contin ued to cet worse,so much so that I had reduced front being a strong, fleshy man,down to a mere skeleton and could hardly creep about—When •applied to you, I had hut little faith in being cured, though I had witnessed some wonderful results following your treatment, especially the cure of ili.it crazy woman you bought of Aquil- II Phelps, in Jasper, yet they' gave rue confi dence and by persevering in the use of your remedies,and as it were hoping against hope, •u n miicli gratified in being able to announce tba! I Imre got entirely well, fur I have had but one liglu attack in twenty months, and that was e| ght months ago. I have now regained about n, y former weight, and feel as strong as almost uny man of fifty-one, which is rny ago. Without disparagement to the diameter ofthe other cures that IniYe so frequently resulted from your prac hce, I do not think that any of them can heat ins, for confirmed Jlsthma combined with a I"usuui/Hirc cough, especially where the flesh "s wasted, has long been classed among the in urealdng, Most respectfully,yours, 11. LIGHT FOOT. ■ 10 "ud rsigood s|il| cootin’ies In treat Cliro- t ’■ H “ Iron i ’list i ire at his n'li -e.or eith-T of '' "V b larding li ntses, and at a distance ,y ' 'be mail nr by private hand. Those nt V 1 'j 1 ' require m-rs mil atteiiiion, are treated ii ‘ V |*’ u dlurs per month,.those who do, at tin ., 1 "'lento rates. Those who are able to oi r i' 1 ' 1 ''X ’li.-t to do so, without variation from 'li k H !'*’ " '•*'*s a distinct bargain is made, IZr ' ' 1 ,r > ' v ' ll be treated gratuitously crs must br past-paid, and add essml M a. THOMSON, lii. p Macon, Ga. THE SOUTHERN MUSEUM. VOLUME I. jl o e t r g. Tiie Death Day of Keener. BY MRS. NEMAN'S. A song for the death day of the brave— A song of pride ! The youth went down to a hero’s grave, With the Sword, his bride. He went, with his noblo heart unworn, And pure, and high ; An eagle stooping from clouds of morn, Only to die. He went with the lyre, whose lofly tone Beneath his hand Had tli rill’d to the name of his God alone, And his fither-land. And with all his glorious feelings yet In their first glow, Like a southern stream that no frost hath met . To chain its flow. A song for the death day of the brave— A song of pride ! For him that went to a hero’s grave With the Sword, his bride. He hath left a voice in his trumpet lays To urn the flight, And a guiding sj.iiit for after days, Like a wa chfire’s light. And a grief in his father's soul tores!, ’Midstall high though’ ; And memory unto his mother’s breast With healing fraught. And a name and fame above the blight Of* earthly breath. Beautiful—beautiful and blight, 1 life and death ! A song for the death day of the brave— A song of pride ! For him that went to a hero’s giave, W illi the t word, his bride ! How “ J. ST. II.” Piiiycd Duintny. BY JERRY NUBBS. My readers, I presume— nr at least, must of them - are familiar with the hu morous sketches of “J. Y. H.,” who, tin the last four or five years has contributed much to the amusement of the lovers of “fun.” A mad wag is J. Y. H., atul ex cessively fond of a practical joke, espe cially when he is not the “ butt of it.” A more jovial companion, and mirth pro voking detailer of side-splitting yarns, I wot not of. But with all this, “ Jack,” as he is familiarly called by his friends, lias one fault, lie is a must unconscionable monopolist of conversation, and so ex haustless are the resources of his wit, that 1 verily believe he could talk till dooms day, and, like “Old Virginny, never tire.” Well, n few evenings since, Jack, and two or three other friends, among whom was the writer of this, were comfortably seated in the ‘ American,” all leisurely imbibing a most delightful lemonade. Os course, we never ‘ stni e” upon any thing stronger. Jack was in one of his happiest moods and talked more glibly than usual. Itt vain the other members of the party e saved to say a “thingor two.” Not a word could be got in, even edgeways. At length “ one of us,” who seemed about bursting with a good thing, rallied the “ aforesaid” on his much talking. This lie seemed to take in high du Igeon, and most solemnly protested that he was he most lactituru individual West of the Al leghanies. “Why,” he continued, “I’ll bet any man a supper for the party, that I can pass through twenty-four consecutive hours without u teritig a word in the presence of a living soul.” “ I’ll take that bet,” replied Mr. F., whereupon the parties confirmed the wa ger by a hearty shaking of hands, and then proceeded to the arrangement of prelim inaries. It was settled, among other things, that the “ twenty-four hours,” during which J. Y. 11. was to utter no word, shott'd com mence on the day following, and that I was to be placed as a guard over him, to watch his movements, and report if any articulated sound escaped his lips. Now, it was quite clear to J. Y. H. that to remain in the city, and preserve silence for the allotted time, was a thing “ utter ly” impossible; so lie determined to pay ai brief visit to 1 ouisville, during which time he hoped that the occasion for speech would not be urgent. Accordingly, at the hour of 11 A. M., on the appointed day, my prisoner and and myself—for, being bis guard, I held in a most rigid captivity—proceeded to the mail boat, and before the fatal hour of twelve arrived our fare was paid, berths secured, and poor Jack ready to put a “ bridle upon his tongue,” for the distres sing v long period <>t twenty-four hours. i he bell hits s-atn led its la t round, the “ lookers nil" are rushing for the shore, and now the deep breathing, puffing .-team pi eis heard, and be majestic “ paluei .f the water-” is niovitt * gracefully down he Ohio My friend Jack has co lectftl a crowd of pager listeners around him, and is in the midst of one his best yarns, when lo! " A sudden trembling shakes his frame ( '‘ MACON, (GAD SATURDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 17, IN 19. his jaw drops, his eyes roll, and a melan choly despairing shade passes over his countenance. “ What has caused this great emotion?” Why has the rattling tongue of the humo rist so suddenly ceased to wag ? *’ The iron tongue of Time has tolled twelve,” the fatal hour has arrived, and, j henceforth, for the space of a whole day j and night, poor Jack is forbidden t ispeak. ; Quickly observing the astonishment which his conduct excited among his auditors, j and fearing to he questioned, be waved I bis right hand, and moved away as solemn i Iv as an Indian chief. “ In the name of reason,” asked one of the crowd, *• what can be the matter with your friend 1" *’ Oh, lie is only in one of his fits,” 1 gravely replied. “Is he often thus V ’ sympathetically asked another. “ Quite often,” I replied, I “ have seen him, while an admiring crowd were ea gerly listening lo one of his stories, stop short in the midst of a sentence, and leave th_» company without uttering ITiother t word.” “’1 is very strange. What a pity!” continued one of my interrogators. I lemained not t) answer, however, but proceeded 11 watch the movements of mv captive.— He retired to his state room and locked the door after him. I followed in qu'.c» pursuit, and applying my ear close to the door, listened tilteniively. 1 heard a low munnu ing within, which, at first, I was unable to understand. In a few mo ments, however, 1 could easily distinguish he jerem ad of poor Jack. “ Well,” said he, “ if this doesn’t beat all. Wonder if any body hears me. (Guess not any how, l don’t see any body, and am not responsible. Oh, Jehoshe phat! if ever I’m caught in such another 4*crape. I’d give fifty dollars to speak— jus to finish that story 1 was telling—but 1 ve made the bet, and I’ll ‘facethe mus ic,’ if it kills me.” I tapped the door with my knuckles, and instantly all within was silent as the grave. At length the dinner hour approached, and I repaired to the room of my dumb ward, to inform him of the fact, and sug gested the difii ulties that might arise in giving orders to die waiters. Upon this Air li. drew a pencil and a slip of paper irom liis pocket and set down a list > f his favorite dishes, which 1 agreed to call sot. The bell soon tang, and we took our scats together. A waiter approached Mr. H., and p litely desired to be informed with what he should provide him. Jack turned to me and pointed to the list of viands with which lie had furnished me. The first ar ticle was roast beef, a favorite dish with my friend, whereas, like an Israelite, he has a perfect horror of pork ! Knowing this full well, 1 informed the waiter that Mr. H. would take pork! Oh, what a glance Jack gave me when he heard my older. \et he dared not speak to correct my wilful mistake, and he was bound to consume the pork.— And so on throughout the progress of the dinner, I cruelly con tinued to order the wrong dishes fur poor Mr. 11 , and compe led him to eat them, or arise from the table half fed. This bitter course, in his despair, he was compel ed to take; for I imposed upon him such a dose of cabbage, cucumbers, &c., that he arose in disgust, and stalked gloomily away. Poor Jack! 1 sincerely pitied him then, from the bottom of my heart—l did. Dinner over, and that ordeal being thus passed, Jack began to hope that he would escape all further annoyance until supper, when a nervous looking man approached, and thus accosted him— “ Pleasant day, sir. I hope this fine weather will have a favorable effect on the cholera.” Jack nodded affirmatively, but made no reply. The stranger continued. “ From Cincinnati, 1 presume. Dread ful time there. Do you think the cholera contagi us?’ r The self-constitu'ed “ dummy” could not safely abide in that spot any longer, so he hastily and unceremoniously left the nervius-looking man, without deigning to answer his questions. The stranger was astounded, and turning to me, nsked what could be the matter wiih “that man.” “ He is suffering with asevere diarrhoea,” I replied. “ 1 fear lie won’t live many hours; yet he persists itt walking about. He is now approaching the worst stages of choleta.” “ My God!” exclaimed the nervous gen tleman ; and rushing to the lady’s cabin, informed bis wife and all others, that the cholera was on hoard—a man dying with it—in the last agonies. In an instant all wasconfusion and alarm among the passengers, especially the la dies. The Captain was called, and re quested by the nervous gentleman, who was joined by all the ladies and several other timid men, to put my poor friend Jack instantly on shore. But the humane officer protested against so brutal a pro ceeding in the most earnest tones. “ Yon woidd not ” said he. “ have the poor man put on shore to in i'h mt as istance.” “ Then put its off ” eyed ti.e alarmed croud; “ put It* off! Quickly, 'of l-iod S sake. Captain, put its off At this nt HTviit “J Y. II '' a • -et it approaching the crowd. The nervous man caught a view of him, and, pointing towards him, exclaimed, at the top of his voice— “ There he is—there be is—keep away, don’t come here, or we shall all die.” But Jack continued to approach, where upon the nervous man, followed by half-a? dozen women, rushed frantically in’o the indies’cabin, and firmly secured the d«*or af or them. And now the afflicted “dum my” was surrounded by a score of exci ted individuals, some eagerly demanding how ho felt, how lung since he was taken, &c.; while half-a-dozen were begging him to take some cholera nostrum, which they assured him would -do him good. Poor Jack was perfectly confounded, and stood amid the crowd, looking for all the world like a culprit about to lake his last leap at the end of a rope. “ '1 ake a few drops,” said one. “ Are you much cramped V' asked a nother. “ Let us rub bim,” proposed a third ; and in a moment three or four stout men were proceeding to the performance of this benevolent suggestion, when the pa tience of poor Jack gave way, and, dash ing his hat furiously against the floor, lie cried— “ Go to the mischief, you infernal fools ! Don’t you know I’m dumb!” A roar of laughter from the Captain (who was in the secret of the bet,) and myself followed this explosion. The crowd lie gan to “ smell a rat,” and a more | blank set of countenances was never seen on the shoulders of men; while poor Jack, unable to control his vexation, raved like a madman. His good nature soon overcame him, and he explained to the passengers over a glass of lemonade the nature of the bet, which bad led to so much confusion. If “J. Y. H.” didn’t d~ “ some talking” during the remainder of our Voyage, then there is no truth in man. (Kj” Tiie less a man sleeps the more he lives. Napoleon consumed four hours in sleep. General Cass rises at dawn, and it is said that John Van Buren rises at four o’clock. Grattan one day came to his son and pushing him until he wakened, ‘ come,’ said lie, ‘ recollect it is the early bird that catches the worm.’ ‘Serve the woim right, said the witty slumberer, for being abroad so early.’ fdr* Bonaparte presented Moreau on one occasion with a magnificent pair of pistols, and paid him a striking compli ment : ‘ 1 intended,’said he, ‘to have the names of your victories engraved upon them, but there was not room f>>r them !’ Puzzled.— A counsel for a tailor, after one of the othet party’s witnesses had sworn that one of the sleeves of a dress coat was longer than the other, demanded: ‘ Now, sir, will you swear that one of them was not shorter than the other V The witness denied that such was the case, and the lawyer gained the cause. [3P General Summary ? General Sum mary?’ suidold Mrs. Frizzletop, eleva ing her brows and specs to the frill of her cap, making a spectacle of herself at the same time, after site had been reading a long string of election returns, in which the whole vote was footed up under the above head. ‘ Why, this General Sum mary beats General Cass and Gcu. Tay lor both put together. Strange that I’ve never hearn of him in any of the wars or read of him in any of the histories or jog apbies. I’ve often read of General Intelligenceinthe newspapers, but l never knew that General Summary was limnin’ for President afore,’ and the old lady iav down the paper, convinced that she was decidedly behind the times in political matters. OO” A prudent and well-disposed mem ber of the ‘ Society of Friends,’ once gave the following friendly advice:— ‘John,’ said he, ‘ 1 hear thou art going to be married.’ ‘ Yes,’ replied John, ‘I am.’ * Well,’ rejoined the man of drab, ‘ l have one little piece of advice to give thee, and that is, never to marry a woman worth more than thou art. When I mar ried my wife, 1 was worth just fifty cents, and she was worth sixty-two cents; and whenever any difference has occurred be tween us since, she has always thrown up the odd shilling.’ Rather Equivocal.—A young fellow having been charged with getting drunk the night before, and wishing to justify himself, declared he never was drunk, nor never meant to be. for it always made him i feel so bad the next morning. (fcj” We once asked a Yankee who had < peddled’ out West, ‘ how ho liked the Prairies.’ ‘Why,’‘they ate the grandest pasters that you ever see, but they are too darned still. I oilers like to be where there’s some kind of a racket' ' UIP ‘ Delaware will never yield an inch.’ said a patriotic Delawareian, when the Pea-Patch case was being tried. ‘lf ! s’ e did,’ replied a by-stander, ‘ she would Lull her tei tilery.’ *(’:« •v hi pty this sin and bill’o ,! . f said a culler >n a few d-vs -in. e. mt a gentleman fin - -e lenient. Please 1< uk to fi»-rf>"tru\V, if you <an make it convenient. •ha o a duel to fight in about half an It air. and haven’t time to | look over your account just now.’ NUMBER 51. Anti- Monopoly.— ‘Father, aint you op. posed to monopoly V Shouted a little fel low as bis parent took up the brandy bot tle. * Yes, my boy.’ ‘Then give me a drink too.’ The father broke the bottle on the floor, and since then has not tasted liquor. J he True Cause. —A gentleman ob served to Dr. Johnson that there was loss vagrant poor in Scotland than in England, as proof of it, said there was no instance of a beggar dying in the streets there. ‘ I believe you are right,’ said Johnson, ‘ but that does not arise from want of vagrants, but from the impossibility of starting a Scotchman !' Publishing the Banns. — A scholar of Dr. Busby’s coming into a parlor, where ; the doctor had laid down a fine bunch of grapes for bis own eating, took it up and said aloud, ‘ I publish the banns between j theSe gtapes and my month; if arty one 1 knows any just cause or impediment why j these two should not be joined together, j let him declare i.’ The doctor being in next room, overheard all that was said ; and coming into the school, he ordered the hoy to be horsed on another boy’s back ; but before be proceeded to the usual dis cipline, be cried out aloud, as the delin quent had done, ‘ l publish the banns be tween my rod and this hoy’s back; if am one knows any just cause or impediment why these two should not be joined, let them declare it.’ ‘ i forbid the banns,’ cried ihe boy. ‘ Why so V said the doctor. ‘ Because the parties arc not agreed /’ re plied the boy. The answer so pleased the doctor that he ordered the boy to be set down. A Yankee Tru k. —A Northern vessel came to Wilmington, N. with a cargo of rum, distilled, as the dull, awkward captain alleged, in the United States, and, as ho believed, in Georgia. His papers appeared fair enough, as far as they went, but were thought to be rather defective. The dates were somewhat old. He had touched at Charleston—he had assisted a distressed vessel at sea—he had been blown off the coast, and we know not what lame and suspicious accounts he gave. It was suspected he was smuggling from the West Indies, and a very bad, a fatal cir cumstance it was, his rum was, much tod good to be made at home. Every rubicand nose in Wilmington smelt, and every pal ate tasted, and all said and swore it was prime West India. The vigilant collector very properly libelled both vessels and cargo. The whining captain requested that the rum might be sold to save the expense, while the trial was pending, which was accordingly done. It was read ily sold at auction for sl,lO a gallon, whi e Darien and Newbern rum, known as such, would have brought only 4-5 c!s. No sooner was the cargo s:dd and the pro ceeds fairly lodged in bank, than Jonathan seemed to come to his senses He is now wide awake. He found some othei pa pers that had been overlooked. He could give a clear account of bis voyage. He proved beyond doubt that this rum was manufactured at Darien, llis vessel was released, und he pocketed Go cents more than the common profit on every gallon ! We believe he had the grace not to sue the Collector for damages. Charade. — My fust syllable is put on the table and tinder the table. My second is an article of food. My third and fourth is what a 1 desire and none can do without. ■ My whole is one of the United States. I Atts: The first is Mat —the second Ri — j the third and fourth Money— and the whole (the best of * L T nited States,’) Matrimo mj. Happiness in the Marriage State.— This (says Alston) can only be obtained from the most complete congeniality of disposition, and exact similarity of habits and pursuits. No two persons can be en-1 lively of the same mind and disposition, \ habits and pursuits, unless after the most; intimate and early associa ion. It is in youth only that the mind receives the com plexion we would give it. It is then only that our habits are moulded or our pur.-uits directed as we please. As vve advance in lie, our habits and pursuits govern us. Is it not, theres tre, better to marry young. Trunk knit with trunk, and branch with branch entwined. Advancing still more closely they are joined • At length, full grown, no difference vve see, But, stead of two, behold t a single tree. It is in youth we are best fitted to enjoy that exquisite happiness which the married state is capable of affording, and the re membrance forms a pleasing link in the chain of friendship that binds together any number of years. The man who does not love till thirty will never love. He will he too selfish. Cure and Kill. —The late Lord Gard estone, himself a valetudinarian, took the pains o inquire forth se ersutis who hid actually attested rnarve lons cures, and rhtitid that more than two thirds <>t the urn her died very short jr fter hey had eared. Sir Itohert Walpole, Lords hiliogbroke atm Wirinington vve e killed •y cure-mongers. I ry Why is a blush like a little girl 1 Because it becomes a wotnan BOOK AND JOB PRINTING, Will be execu’cd in *hc most approved style and on the best terms,at the Office of the SCITTHEP.it M'JSETTM, -BY— WM. B. HARRISON. tC7* A good way to display ease and | elegance in company, is to pull cut your penknife and trim your finger nails. Write in my Album ?—A beautiful and accomplished young lady, gave her album to a dry old bachelor, with the above request, with which lie complied in the lollowing felicitous manner : “ Through all the varied see res of Hfe, Os sorrow, pnia and vvoe,‘ The little pigs run through the woods, Up to their eyes iri snow. Intense Admiration. — Little Fannv Heron was singing at the Pittsburg thea tre, the ballad from the Bohemian Girl, “Yoti”ll remember me,” to the intense de light of a soldier, who had evidently just returned from Mexico. He gazed at her enraptured throughout the song, and when she came to the concluding line. “lon’ll rertomder ! you’ll icmn-p-cnibei ntn.” he slopped his fist violently against the box, and shouted in a voice that c< mjdete ly drowned the finale, “Won’t I—l won't do anything shorter—es I do I’m .” 1 he sincerity of the compliment, no doubt gratified the lady. (ff How many of both sexes, run into tiie error of thinking that to dress finely is to dress well—when the two things are as different as possible; for the one excites at tention, and the other avoids it. A lady who knew this distinction, ordered a cap from the milliner. ‘How will you have it made, madam. ‘Make it,’ replied the lady, ‘So that it will not excite a thought. 1 his to us, was tlie best definition of what dress should be, that we ever heard. Be then, neat and cleanly in your dress, and borrow a lesson of instruction from this lady. A Yankee Crichton. — Davis, of the Gloucester Propeller, is an active man. He is an Auctioneer, Editor of a paper, sown Crier, Steamboat Agent, Teacher, Collector, Correspondent of twenty-one different publications, Temperance Lectu rer, keeps’a News Depot, is in the Fruit business, is a Poet, and lastly a bachelor. ETP “Mr. Captain,” said a son oF Eriu, going on board a vessel in the port of Cork, “you looked so much like the mate that I look you to be the cook : ynuwill be after lending me the loan of your broad axe to saw an empty barrel of flour in two, to make my cow a bog pen.” Mealy. —“Mv good gracious! I won der what they’ll manufacture out of grain next,” says Mrs. Partington. “Here’s an account of a man making a rye face, and of another making a floury speech. Then a whole column about corn law.” Pleasant Deserts. —Maioisid, physi cian to the Kitig of France, was so fond of administering medicine, that, seeing a'd the phials and pill boxes of his patient com pletely emptied, and ranged in order on the table, he said, ‘,Ah, sir, it gives tne pleasure to attend you—you deserve to be A countryman going into the office in Doctor’s Commons, where all the wills are kept, was surprised to see such a num ber of large volumes, and inquired if they were llibles. “No, sir,.’ said one of the clerks, “they are Testaments.” A Witty Captain. —A down eastskip per not long sinco came into Boston har bor with a load of corn in a damaged state, occasioned by his leaking very badly, A report being circulated that the captain strained bis vessel by thumping her on a rock or sand bar when drunk, the insur ance company demurred against paying their risk on her. “Captain,” said the owner to him, as he stepped his foot upon Long Wharf, “we are likely to lose our insurance because you was corned.” “Well, sir,” replied the skipper, “they may show that 1 was corned, but 1 can prove l wasn’t tight.” The objection against settling up was dropped at once. SXO” An Irishman, on being told to grease the wagon, returned in about an hour afterwards, and said, “I’ve greased every part of the wagon but them sticks where the wheels hang on.” The Yankee. — The foibles of the Yan kee spring from the best traits of his char acter. He guesses und catechises because he thirsts for knowledge ; he whittles f.jr be is ingenious and inventive ; be sings j psalm tunes because he is religious; and \he whistles because he is contented and happy. —- t-jF’ A celebrated living author lately ob served that he never made a pun; “But when l do,” said lie, “I’m very proud of it, for it is always the worst that ever was made, and therefore excellent. The other day” be continued, “a lady spoke to me about Mr. s gallery if pictures, and rental ked that she should very much lik to net an introduction to see them. W' said I, he is my friend, and you shall go— - vau shall go anckand pjekhis pockets.” ‘ Pick his pocket,” she exclaimed, “why should l do so ?” “Why !” said I, “because he Ins pi c , tures .”