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Griffin Daily News
DOES TODAY’S WOMAN II FlgS
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• Yes. Romance has not died even In the heart of
the most militant of feminists. Os course, women
today try to look at romance a little differently.
It is not merely that they want to be more realistic
about it, for they know that the wispy fabric of
romance can never stand up to the sharp light
needed to examine it under the microscope in a
behavioral laboratory.
Many girls realize that a husband and life-mate
is often chosen with less regard than a woman uses
to select clothes, hair-styling, a career, etc. They
know that the romantic figure who may come
charging into their life may very well knock a girl
off the course she is steadily pursuing and which
MIRROR OF YOUR MIND • BY JOHN CONWELL
• Should depressed patients be babied ? • Can people be unhappy with success ?
No. Tender loving care has its
place in almost every human en
deavor, but not, apparently, in the
treatment of patients who are hos
pitalized because of severe depres
sion. Harsh treatment is not the
answer either; but a consistent at
titude of firmness does get results,
said Dr. James C. Folsom, director
of the Veterans Administration hos
pital in Tuscaloosa, Ala., who spoke
at the recent American Psychiatric
Association meeting in Miami.
Thi%; finding holds out hope for
the improvement of the hospitalized
depressed patient, and is a heart
ening development for the members
of the family of such a person. They
often feel discouraged and de
pressed themselves when they are
told that the patient has not re
sponded to being treated at home
and must have the professional at
tention that he can get only in a
hospital.
The attitude of firmness in the
VA hospital, said Dr. Folsom, was
adopted by everyone concerned —
doctors, nurses, attendants and even
2
maintenance staffers, all working
as a highly trained team. The pa
tient was not allowed to make de
cisions and he was assigned to long
periods of ungratifying work.
"It is cur belief,” said Dr. Fol
som, “that the depressed individual
has internalized anger that is nor
mally expressed toward objects and
Individuals in the world."
The consistent firm attitude
toward the patient, combined with
the monotonous and meaningless
chores that he was directed to do,
was used to arouse this inward an
ger. But the idea was to change the
direction of the anger away from
himself and toward the hospital and
its staff. Dr. Folsom said it was
felt that if the patient could ex
press anger outwardly, he would be
on his way to recovery.
The results seemed to bear him
out. Depressed patients treated
with the firmness attitude, as com
pared with those in other therapy
programs, made greater improve
ments at a faster rate, and the im
provements lasted longer.
she hopes will culminate in marriage to a good,
solid-citizen type, who will treat her with love,
compassion and—yes—even respect.
A woman today wants to be "involved” with ro
mance. She is not about to be like the little legen
dary, helpless scullery maid, dreaming of someone
to come thundering into her restricted little world,
and sweeping her up, and carrying her off to live
"happily forever after.” The realistic girl wants to
have more of a say as to whom she is going to fall
in love with and whom she wants to marry.
Romance for the girl of the 1960 s can be a fuller,
more honest experience than it was for women in
the past. She feels she caji strip away the aura of
(C 1989, King Features Syndicate. *Jnc.)
Yes. If a person finds success comes
to him with too little effort on his
part, he might conceivably feel
guilty about it. Os course, this
would have to be an extremely sen
sitive person, one who can "read”
into events more meaning than per
haps he should. And if his success
comes at the expense of someone
who suffers a physical, mental or
economic setback, that about fin
ishes it for the victor, though even
the loser may release the victor
from any blame.
Sometimes the effect upon the
winner is so deep that he might
find that he cannot operate at his
usual efficiency. He will find him
self plagued by doubts; he will re
live all the steps prior to his suc
cessful attainment and suffer guilt
over something that he might have
said or done, or some remark of
his rival's that now seems to have
new meaning in the light of what
has happened since the issue or the
competition was decided.
In the new office he has won or
the job he has been awarded as tho
make-believe in her quest for the romance she
yearns for. While she is not looking for perfection
in the man of her dreams, she is searching for one
with the qualities she admires. She doesn't sub
scribe to the cliche that all good-looking men are
ne’er-do-wells and the ones who can treat her like
a lady, provide her with the necessities of life and
act like gentlemen are all dullards. The modem girl
is keeping a weather eye out for her romantic hero,
but he must fit into her life and she in his without
knocking all ideals and principles out of whack.
She wants to be swept off her feet, but not off the
radar beam that keeps her on course during her
headlong flight into romance.
result of his successful competition,
such a person—to satisfy his guilt
complex—compensates for the tac
tics he has had to use. Alarmed at
his conflict and inner disturbance,
he may try to do his job in such a
way as to avoid causing any new
rivals and competitors stress and
disappointment. He may seek to put
across his programs, procedures, or
whatever with such ease and skill
that no one will be hurt. At first,
he is successful.
But because he has not been! able
to resolve his original conflict, it
will come back to haunt him. He will
find he's applying the same strat
egy to every instance in which there
is any element of competition, or
any chance that the one he beats
in a situation will feel affected by
the loss. Eventually, torn by ten
sion and worried over being success
ful, the reluctant survivor of daily
competition finds himself a candi
date for professional therapy and —
in most cases—he is in the position
in which he dreads seeing his rivals;
he is at last a loser.