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, DO PEOPLE KNOW
. WHEN THEY NEED
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DRAWING BY ’ .
PAUL FREHM
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• Is it harmful to curb’rivalry ?
No. In fact it is necessary to control
the human competitive drivfe. But it
is also important that the urge one
person has to outdo another is not'
eliminated altogether.
Both excessive competition and
the complete lack of it may be
;raced as the root of many of the
troubles besetting current and po
tential psychological and psychia
tric patients. Super competitive
drives can produce the family ty
rant, the dictatorial disciplinarian
or a world scourge like Adolf Hitler.
While the depths—and I mean the
abysmal depths of depression and
despair—are the levels at which
you will generally find the person
who is absolutely devoid of any
feeling for competition. Fear based
on insecurity and the desire for ac
ceptance can produce the compulsive
competitor; while an obsessive fear
of failure is often the fundamental
reason another person seeks to avoid
anything and anybody in any situ
ation where the element of compe
tition may arise.
While there is no doubt that a
2
reasonable amount of the competi
tive drive is not only desirable but
absolutely necessary, we, of course,
have to be on guard against displays
of excessive competition. We have
rules in sports for this, and we have
laws and controls in other areas
of society.
But we should also be alert to the
frustration that can result from
forced suppression of the competi
tive drive. For instance, in modem
business and industry, both organ
ized labor and controlled production
schedules have combined to discour
age competitive performances by
employees. In modem education,
there is a tendency to downgrade
and blur the importance of grading
schoolwork and progress in learning.
Perhaps probers delving into the
problems that are shaking the U.S.
to its roots might look into the pos
sibility of a connection between the
degree to which the natural com
petitive spirit has been squelched
and the proportionate increase in
the amount of violence attributed to
the young people.
BY JOHN CONWELL
• Should an adopted child know his real parents ?
If by real parents, you mean na
tural mother and father, the answer
is that he should get to know about
them if he is old enough to inquire
about them and to express concern
about them. Whether his mother and
father are still living, what .they
are like and perhaps where they are •
—these are about all an adopted
child wants to know of his original
mother and father. To probe any
deeper, to seek any further involve
ment may invite emotional prob
lems complicated by questions of
rejection, guilt and a myriad of other
stresses and tensions that neither
the child nor his parents—adoptive
and original—should tax themselves
with.
Os course, sometimes it does
everybody concerned some benefit
if the child is granted his request
to know more about his original
parents. The parents who give up a
child for adoption,, as opposed to the
adoptive parents, are called biologi
cal parents by Alexina M. McWhin
nie in her article, “The Adopted
Child in Adolescence.*’ This appears
• No. Many people feel that if they can debate
with themselves about whether they should see a
psychiatrist or not, then they don’t need mental
therapy. Rut that is no criterion. If an individual
has any doubts about his mental health, all he has
to do is consult a psychiatrist and the matter will
be settled once and for all.
A psychiatrist or other mental therapist could
determine whether a person’s highly emotional
state, for instance, is due simply to "nerves, ’’ a high
strung personality or perhaps a problem that needs
expert attention. Just by listening to an individual,
the professionally trained therapist can determine
whether the person’s problem is a once-in-a-while
occurrence, or something that seems to bother him
periodically in a recurrent pattern.
Even if the trouble occurs only once, and the in
dividual is told by his therapist that he needn’t
come back, that single visit can result in priceless
peace of mind. If the trouble is a continuing phe
. nomenon, then there is no question but that the
patient needs therapy. If he doesn’t know it, his
family is aware of his need and will see that he will
be taken care of.
Yet the insidious thing about a recurrent problem
Is the very way it comes and goes. When an indi
vidual realizes there is something wrong, he de
bates with himself and has just about convinced
himself that he should see a therapist. When his
conflict, emotional state or whatever eases up, he
begins to feel foolish about taking up a professional
person’s time.
But the problem will be back. If the individual
tries to delude himself that it “is nothing” to be
concerned about, then he is really strengthening
the case in favor of his need for professional help.
Although it is true that a person with sense enough
to consider the possibility that he might need men
tal therapy has too much sense to be insane, he
should also realize that there are many mental' prob
lems and afflictions that can cause more distress
and concern than simply "going out of your mind.”
in “Adolescence: Psychosocial Per
spective” (Basic Books), which is •
edited by Gerald Caplan and Serge
Lebo vici.
While it is generally a sign of an
emotionally healthy attitude when a
couple adopts one child—one reason
being the screening that candidates
for adopting a child must go through
—problems may develop that can
cause concern for the relationship
between adoptive parents and adopt
ed children. Miss McWhinnie cites
one case in which a teenaged, adopted
girt had a very poor relationship
with her adoptive mother. The girl
blamed herself. She felt that her
present conflicts and troubles could
be traced to her biological mother
and father.
Thanks to some case-work help,
though, the girl was able to be re
assured that her biological parents
were “normal, healthy and respect
able,” and the between her
and her adoptive mother were no
more significant than those that
can occur between any mother and
teenaged daughter.