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“Could You Spread That A Little Thicker?’’
1
Beauties Less Apt
to Marry Happily
BEAUTIES—So you’d like to win a beauty contest, would
you! Maybe you ought to reconsider said ambition, young lady.
Think of this. Statistics show a Miss America is 40 times more
apt to wind up in a divorce court than the girl who never enters a
beauty contest. Some odds, those. Am assigning our Love and
War man to find out why the most beautiful girls seem so
unlucky in the matter of matrimony.
“PINPOINT the geographical center of the North American
continent,” directs a client. Pierce County in North Dakota is
about as pinpointy as I can get on that one. ... A CORRE
SPONDENT said Barbra Streisand recently got about $1 million
for four weeks’ work in Las Vegas, but he didn’t say why. . . .
THOSE STATES wherein a doctor is most likely to be sued for
malpractice are Alaska, California, Minnesota, and Oregon.
NAME GAME—A Graham, N. C., subscriber finds it funny
that one fine friend named Tom Collins, who lives on a street
called Fifth, is a teetotaler. That’s not so odd. I used to know a
girl named Gin Rickey who lived in Manhattan. However, she
wasn’t a teetotaler. Hardly. Not certain what ever happened to
her, but believe she married a Mexican glassblower and moved
to Tijuana.
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Q. “Wasn’t it Mae West who said,
‘An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve’?” A. No,
that was Ring Lardner. Mae West said, “A curve is the loveliest
distance between two points.” . . . Q. “IF I DON’T shave for a
year, how long will my beard be!” A. About seven inches, if
average.
“THE THREE-LEGGED MAN”—That ditty called “Tie Me
Kangaroo Down, Sport” is the work of Rolf Harris, the musical
Australian. An original wit, that one. Among his clever acts is a
bit wherein he chants his banter in some sort of getup which
makes him appear to have three legs. Sounds slapstick, doesn’t
it? It isn’t though. Highly sophisticated. At the moment, just
can’t name a more creative character than Mr. Harris.
GRAPEFRUIT—Now another member of the Get It Right
Club wants to blackball me because I erroneously stated the
sweeter blossom half of the grapefruit was the half to which the
stem was attached. “That’s not the blossom half, my friend,”
writes he. “The grapefruit grows between the stem and the
blossom. And the blossom half, opposite the stem half, is always
sweeter.”
SMOKE FOLLOWS BEAUTY—When camping out, mister,
does the campfire smoke tend to follow you? Maybe you’re
beautiful. If so, too bad, nothing you can do about that. If you’re
not beautiful, however, and the smoke still follows you, try this.
Build your fire on a slope. With open space uphill wherein you
can spread your nighttime bedding. And open space downhill
wherein you can set up a couple of daytime lounging logs to sit
on. Here’s why. Mountain air cools more quickly than valley air.
So in calm weather, the normal currents will drive the smoke
downhill in the night, uphill during the day.
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“With the cost of plant fertilizers and bug sprays,
this vegetable garden is eating us out of house and
* home!”
CHECKING
| ♦UP ♦
TIMELY
QUOTES
It must be recognized
that criminal conspiracy and
treason are not to be con
fused with or included with
in the area of academic free
dom. It is recognized that
campus unrest and disorder
have been fomented and
planned by groups of stu
dents . . . (and) by persons
outside or agents. . . . With
such revolutionary militants
there can be no compromise
and no understanding.
—Dr. Joseph J. Copeland,
acting president of City
College of New York, at a
congressional hearing.
I don’t believe there’s a
single thing our country
does . . . that has greater
potential for peace than the
space effort.
—Former President Lyndon
B. Johnson.
d
Change without continuity
can be anarchy. Change with
continuity can mean pro
gress. And continuity with
out change can mean no
progress.
—President Nixon, stating
that the Supreme Court
has been the most respon
sible of the three branches
of government for orderly
change in the United
States. *
If we can control disease
and infection it would be ,
very desirable for everyone
to die suddenly of a heart
attack in his sleeo at age 90. .
—Dr. Paul Dudley White, 1
onetime personal physi
cian to the late President
Eisenhower.
Almanac
For
Today
By United Press International
Today is Tuesday, Aug. 5, the
217th day of 1969 with 148 to
follow..
The moon Is between its last
quarter and new phase.
The morning stars are Venus
and Saturn.
The evening stars are Mercu
ry, Mars and Jupiter.
On this day in history:
In 1861 the U.S. government
imposed its first income tax.
All incomes over SBOO were
taxed three per cent.
In 1912 the Progressive
Party, which bolted from the
Republicans, met in Chicago to
nominate Theodore Roosevelt
for President.
In 1917 the entire National
Guard was drafted into the
Army.
In 1962 actress Marilyn
Monroe died of an overdose of
barbiturates.
A thought for the day: John
Viscount Morley said, "No man
can climb out beyond the
limitations of his own charac
ter.”
THOUGHTS
tie has showed you, 0
man, what is good; and what
does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love
kindness, and to walk
humbly with your God?”—
Micah 6:8.
• * ♦
No man or woman can be
really strong, gentle, pure,
and good without the world
being better for it.—Phillips
Brooks, American clergy
man.
Griffin Daily News
■
viewpoint;
Some news
and views
Some news ana views:
• A commission is working on the State
■Constitution ot Georgia. A great hulabaloo
keeps jumping up trom here and there and
from time to time demanding a completely
new document. We do not doubt that some
changes are needed. The state has changed
greatly and continues to change day by day
and sometimes, it seems, hour by hour.
Change for the sake of progress is good, but
change for the sake of change leaves much
to be desired. From where we sit it seems
that much of the demand for rewriting the
constitution is simply for the sake of
change. While some revision is in order,
we hope that Georgia doesn't jump out of
the frying pan into the fire as we bat the
constitution about.
• For the life of us we cannot under
stand why the people of Massachusetts
have backed their Senator Kennedy in his
hour of disrepute. He is not Georgia's, so it
is no direct business of ours whether he re
mains in the Senate. But it certainly is our
business whether he runs for the presi
dency, and our vote is both thumbs down.
(We shudder to think what the nation
would have said if one of Georgia's public
officials had been involved in a s i m i I a r
scandal).
• The State's revenue collections con
tinue to climb, even as some people keep
calling for a tax increase. During July, the
state collpcted $63,071,735 compared with
$55,240,580 in July of last year. This is a
14.2 percent increase. Did your personal
income go uo 14.2 percent in July? Did it
go uo enough to pay higher taxes? (Ours
didn't?)
Chuckling
With Ye Editor
The cost of illness is so high that it makes you sick to
think about it.
• •••••
“Average is the poorest of best and the best of the
poorest.” — Northwestern Miller
• •••••
People who can neither read nor write are called
illiterate. Those who can but don’t are called stupid.
Space Travel
42 Carbonated
beverage
45 Farthest point
in orbit
47 Martian
(comb, form)
49 Take to court
50 Aromatic seed
54 Austrian town
56 Feminine
appellation
57 Necessitate
58 Projectile
59 One of five
senses
60 Close (poet.)
DOWN
1 Wading bird
2 British vehicle
3 Poker stakes
4 Intimation
5 Babylonian
deity
6 Nearest point
in orbit
17 Masculine
appellation
8 Permits
9 Death notices
ACROSS
1 Outer
6 Astronaut, for
one
11 Horns
12 Antarctic
volcano
14 Speak
pompously
15 Unkeeled
16 Sport of
any kind
17 Polynesian
banana
19 Pack away
20 Throws
23 Seniors (ob.)
24 Mauna ,
Hawaii
27 Severe trial
29 Shakespear
ean spirit
31 Avoids
capture
35 rays
37 Century plant
38 German prison
camp
41 Flying
mammal
[ fi |2 |3 |4 15 |6 17 |8 |9 110
7l 12 13
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J 2fF 21
29 30 lIF 32 33"”
35
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ZFprTCFjBp |46[
47 - 51 52~ 53“
54 55 56
57 FT
H 5 9! H 1601I 60 1 I j
Answer to Previous Puzzle
[1 11 1 |n|t|s|
e|e|t|
10 Private
instructor
11 Cozen
13 Stitches
17 Cone-bearing
tree
18 Termination
21 Girl’s name
22 Wild
24 Resinous
substance
25 Gold (Sp.)
26 Three-toed
sloths
28 Loiter
30 Printer’s
measures
32 Flatfish
33 Woman’s
appellation
34 Harden, as
cement
36 Space vehicle
39 Feminine
nickname
40 Grow old
42 Pointed stake
43 Praying figure
44 Five
(comb, form)
46 Evolve
48 Harem rooms
51 Novelist Chase
52 One who
reclines
53 Buddhist
pillar
55 River islet
56 Diminutive of
Jonathan
58 Egyptian sun
god
BERRY'S WORLD
"So, Nixon did six countries in 13 days! Last year, the
little woman and I did twice as many as that
in the same time!"
MY
ANSWER
Communism
Some people say that the ear
ly Christians practiced Commu
nism. Does the Bible support thi
view? LI.
Probably those who advocate
this base their argument on two
Scriptures in Acts: “And all
that believed were together, and
had all things common; and
sold their possessions and
goods, and parted them to a 11
men as every man had need.”
and, “And the multitude of them
that believed were of one heart
and soul: neither said any of
them that ought of the things
which he possessed was his own,
but they had all things com
mon.” (Acts 2:44-45, and Acts
4:32)
The above Scriptures indicate
that the early Christians engag
ed in communal living tempor
arily in most unusual circum
stances. But that is a great deal
different than modern commu
nism. The Christians of the Book
of Acts acted in love; the com
munists do not. The Christians
prayed; the communists confess
that they do not. The Christians
believed. The communists be
lieve in no God, or, so they say.
The Christians were filled with
the Holy Spirit; the communists
do not even understand the
person of the Holy Spirit. The
Christians gave to every man
as he had need. The communists
do not.
So, in the light of these Scrip
tures there is no similarity bet
ween the Christian communal
living in the Book of Acts and
modern communism.
WORLD ALMANAC
FACTS
The 1,000-year-old city oi
Venice, made up of IOC
islands, 150 canals and
many historic buildings, is
sinking. The wooden piles
which support the buildings
are sinking into the mud
at a rate of eight inches a
century while melting polar
ice caps are raising the sea
some four inches a century,
The World Almanac says.
Thus, Venetian buildings
sink about one story in a
thousand years.
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PAPER?
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paper by 7 p.m., or if it is
not delivered properly, (Hal
227-6336 for our recording
service and we will contact
your Independent distributor
for you.
GRIFFIN DAILY NEWS
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Television
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2 5 11 ’
6-00 Newsroom Panorama Hazel t
•15 " News ”
: 3Q ” Walter What’s My
.45 ” Cronkite Line?
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8- —— oo “ “7“
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9' :00 First [ Y
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U-00 Newsroom Panorama News #
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Wednesday Morning
6 ; oo ” Black
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7 : 00 Today News Dick Tracy
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8:00 ” Captain
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% ■ - :: ■
9 - 00 Today in Linkletter Romper
*ls Georgia Show Room
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.Q 0 It Takes Lucille Ball Rifleman
•30 Concentration Beverly Movie:
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— ~ “ »
Wednesday Afternoon
:00 News News Bewitched
1 :15
1 J .30 Movie: Search for That Girl
JLjfai -45 -Country Tomorrow ”
1:00 Music Divorce Dream
•15 Holiday” Court House
‘. 4 5 » World Turns Deal
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>45 ’’ Oame
: 00 Another Sec"* General
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4.00 Match Movie: Dark
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GRIFFIN
DAILY NEWS j
Mellon. C “T G *~ r •> «• Quimby Melton, Jr.,
p. blbher Edit,*.
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