Newspaper Page Text
“The Prodigal Son" Returns
V / I
M] I CHECKING
Ngr. •UP •
By L. M. Boyd
ONCE YOU HIT the age of 64, that state wherein you’re
most apt to live the longest is Florida .. . WRITES an
unmarried feminine client: “Ask your Love and War man to
recommend the best occupation I can go into to find a
husband.” All right, he says, “Get a job selling
toupees.” . . . NO HAIRY HIPPY should forget the words
beard and barbarian come from the same root. ... IT HAS
BEEN PROVED more women than men watch TV after 11
p.m., presumably because more women than men can sleep-in
the next morning. .. . ONLY ONE OUT OF FIVE life
insurance salesmen lasts in that business more than three years.
DESTINY - What Dr. H. Strughold wanted to find out was
whether any pilot ever Teally does fly by the seat of his pants.
Literally. So he injected several sizeable shots of Novocain into
his own backside, and fairly well numb in that whereabouts,
climbed aboard a private plane and directed the pilot to do a
few acrobatics. Unlike his experience on numerous previous
flights, he got sick, scared and all shook up. Yes, pilots do
indeed sit on their equilibrium, Dr. Strughold is now
convinced. It’s not all in the ears. The Destiny that shapes our
ends shapes them as well to fly by.
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Q. “How long is the average human
umbilical cord?” A. About 22 inches, but let’s talk about
something else. . . . Q. “I PUT A HOT DISH down on a coffee
table and it left a light ring on the finish. Any idea how to fix
it?” A. Understand a little salt mixed with salad oil will wipe it
clear.... Q. “WHAT’S Connie Stevens’ real name?” A. Used
to be Concetta Ingalia.
MR. HOOVER - Greetings, Mr. J. Edgar Hoover, and
kindest regards. Maybe a subscriber or two would like to know
what I’m doing here. Merely making certain Mr. Hoover gets
the message, that’s all. Nothing with his name in it appears in
print that he does not see, personally.
OPEN QUESTIONS -1. Is it true no former Boy Scout has
ever been executed for a capital offense? 2. How do you
account for the fact that North Dakotans live longer than
South Dakotans? 3. Why does such a disproportionately large
number of doctors’ wives take to secretive drinking?
ARM WRESTLER - You know that shaving cream girl on
TV who says, “Take it off, take it all off”? That’s right,
Gunilla Knutsson, the 1961 Miss Sweden in the Miss Universe
contest. Note she is billed here and there in print as a
champion arm wrestler. Do you buy that pretty piece of press
agentry? I do. Beautiful girl. If she wants people to think she is
a champion arm wrestler, why not?
Your questions and comments are welcomed and will be
used wherever possible in “Checking Up." Please address your
mail to L. M. Boyd, McNaught Syndicate, Inc., 60 E. 42nd St.,
New York.N. Y. 10017.
SIDE GLANCES by Gill Fox
H Ip!
|t,-30 t !*•* k, NIA. he TM U, US ht o#. . \
“The boss noticed me today. He called me
what’s-his-name.”
TIMELY
QUOTES
By United Press International
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. - The
Rev. Billy Graham following an
appearance at the Miami Rock
Festival:
“I love these kids, I really
do. I came expecting to be
shouted down but they were so
polite and courteous to me. I
believe we will see some
positive results. I believe the
seed was sown.”
CHERBOURG, France—Gro
cer Pierre Boulin, commenting
on the disappearance of the
local Israeli community follow
ing the departure of five
French-built gunboats believed
headed for Israel:
“No one said anything, but
over the weeks I noticed fewer
and fewer faces I knew were
coming in. . .1 didn’t pay much
attention at the time.. .but now
I know.”
SAN FRANCISCO—CriminaI
lawyer Melvin Belli in an open
plea to the “Zodiac” killer
published in the San Francisco
Chronicle:
“If you want me to meet with
you alone, I will come alone. If
you want me to bring along a
priest or a psychiatrist or a
reporter to talk with, I will do
so. I will follow your instruc
tions to the letter. You say you
are ‘losing control’ and may kill
again. Do not make things
worse. Let me help you now.”
Almanac
For
Today
By United Press International
Today is Tuesday, Dec. 30,
the 364th day of 1969 with one
to follow.
The moon is full.
The morning stars are Venus
and Jupiter.
The evening stars are Mercu
ry, Mars and Saturn.
On this day in history:
In 1853, the United States
bought 45,000 square miles of
land south of the Gila River
from Mexico for $lO million. It
is now the southern area of
Arizona and New Mexico.
The 1903, fire swept the
Iroquois Theatre in Chicago
killing 588 persons.
In 1947, King Michael of
Rumania abdicated claiming he
was forced out by local
Communists aided by Russians.
In 1959 President Eisenhower
called off the ban on American
nuclear tests.
In 1968, Trugvie Lie, first
secretary general of the United
Nations, died in Norway at the
age of 72.
A thought for the day: Ralph
Waldo Emerson said, “Every
hero becomes a bore at last.”
THOUGHTS
A liberal man will be en
riched, and one who uxiters
will himself be watered. —
Proverbs 11:25.
* * •
A really great man is
known by three signs—gen
erosity in the design, hu
manity in the execution,
moderation in success. —
Otto von Bismarck, Prussian
statesman.
■ viewpoint
Some news
and views
Georgia will welcome Mr. Agnew
• Vice President Agnew is scheduled to
visit Georgia in February. Plans are for him
to be the principal attraction at a Republi
can Party fund-raising dinner. Mr. Agnew
will find a warm welcome from Georgia
Democrats as well as from his fellow-GOP
members. When he stepped on tv's and
some newspaper's bunions, he struck a re
sponsive note in most Georgians who abhor
"managed news" and the passing off of
opinion as facts. The Griffin Daily News
attempts to confine its opinions and views
to this editorial page and to signed col
umns in the paper. Thus we identify opin
ions and comments on the news as such,
and we appreciate those who noted this
after Mr. Agnew's criticism of network tv
and some metropolitan papers. As for us,
we are glad that Mr. Agnew stepped on the
bunions as he did, and we will attempt to
keep our own hearth swept clean of the
soot and the ashes of opinions and preju
dices passed off as facts.
Shortage of doctors, plans for future
• The Griffin-Spalding Hospital is plan
ning an out-patient diagnostic center.
Since there is a shortage of doctors in Grif
fin, as there is in all parts of the state, this
sounds like a very good idea to us. Also the
hospital is trying to bring three full-time
physicians to Griffin to staff the emergen
cy rooms around the clock. This is good
news, too, and we hope that it will become a
reality very soon. A community this size
should have a place for immediate emer
gency treatment of accident and other
health victims. Right now, emergency
rooms at the hospital are immediately
available, but sometimes doctors are not in
the building. Minutes or even seconds can
mean the difference in life and death. We
like the hospital's plans.
With Ye Editor
Biggest relief in the much-heralded tax relief bill is that
Congress finally passed one without clobbering anybody
any worse than it did.
••• • •
“A woman with horse sense never becomes a nag.” —
Dundalk, Ontario, Herald
••• • •
Now that Christmas is gone until next year, we suggest
that letters to Santa be addressed to Washington, D. C.,
instead of to the North Pole.
Variety
ACROSS
I.Feminine
appellation
7 Filina
13 Dormant
14 Beast
15 Sketcher
16 Vine fruit
17 English river
18 Faucet
20 Driving
command
21 Broadway
sign
23 Wand
25 Oriental coin
26 Health resort
28 Moves
suddenly
30 Australian
ostrich
32 River (Sp.)
33 Legal point
34 Freudian term
35 TV quiz group
37 Malt brew
39 Bud’s sibling
40 Droop '
42 Mariner's
direction
44 Steamer (ah.)
45 Jelly like
material
47 Greek letter
49 Biblical
mountain
53 Bother
55 Open tp
public perusal
56 Card game
57 Confectionery
58 Privations
DOWN
1 Joyous
2 Tutelary gods
(Roman relig.)
3 Musteline
mammals
4 Biblical name
5 Present
month (ab.)
6 Perfume
7 Entangle
8 Donkey
(comb, form)
9 Vigor
10 Likenesses
11 Devoured
12 American’
wild plum
19 School of
whales
22 Musical
dramas
24 Challenge
25 Milkmaid’s
11213141 s' 16 If |8 "[4 ho 111 112
13 14
15 ~ 16
iT" ■Bps iTHHIHpo
ST 29 —
5" 3n*p7 M
3T ||4o «T
« 50 51 52 53 54
56 56
57 58
I I I I I I 10
(Ntwspsptt [ulttprltt Asm.)
Answer to Previous Puixle
44 Enervates
46 Render mad
(coll.)
48 Shoshonean
Indiana
50 Scottish
sheepfold
51 Social insect
52 Size of shot
(Pi)
54 Animas,
Colorado
Mat (pL>
27 Ending of
sprayer
29 City in Latvia
31 Employs
35 Freebooter
36 Loiter behind
38 Compound
ethers
39 Mere trifle
41 Coupled
43 Emaciate
BERRY’S WORLD
«E,m» k ,NEA... £ .
"If you're really Bob Hope and not 'Charlie' —say
something funny!"
MY
ANSWER',
Drudgery
.. In my early Christian life God
seemed very close to me.
Prayer time was a real
pleasure, and Bible reeading
was a thrill. But, recently I find
my devotions to be almost
drudgery, in fact, I am about to
give up my “quiet time”. Mr.
Graham, what causes this? I
am really concerned. M.E.
Our spiritual growth is often
compared to our physical
growth. The Bible says that we
are to grow and mature, spiri
tually, as well as physically.
One of the sure signs of physical
illness is a loss of appetite.
Physicians say that a well man
is a hungry man, and a man who
loses his appetite is a sick man.
My suggestion regarding your
problem is: make sure that
something hasn’t happened in
your life to restrict your spiri
tual appetite. Several things
can do this. Perhaps the
“world” has crept in and stolen
away part of that which belongs
to Christ. Or, perhaps there is a
secret sin. Or, your loss of in
terest in devotions could be
caused by your neglect of them.
The human mind forms pat
terns quickly. Good habits when
established are easily kept, and
so are bad ones. Check the
above points, and then begin a
regular routine of Bible reading
and prayers. Ask God to forgive
you for your coldness and in
difference. The Bible says,
“Draw nigh unto God and he
will draw nigh to you.” (Ja. 4:8)
WORLD ALMANAC
FACTS
President John Tyler,
twice married, had 14 chil
dren, the largest number
born to an American presi
dent. William H. Harrison
had the second largest fam
ily with 10 children; Ruth
erford B. Hayes had eight;
Thomas Jefferson, Zachary
Taylor and Theodore Roose
velt each had six children.
John Adams, Andrew John
son, Grover Cleveland and
Franklin D. Roosevelt had
five children each.
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6:00 Newsroom Panorama Disk
<ls ” News Van Dyke «
•30 ” Walter Hasel
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7:00 News I Love What’s My ,
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41 100 " ” Was A Lady”",
1 :15
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Wednesday Morning
ioo
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7,00 Today Nows Dick Traey »
*ls
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8:00 * Captain *
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9,00 Today In Mr. Plx Romper
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U : 00 Sale of the Andy He Said,
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•30 Hollywood Love e t Galloping
,45 Squares Life Gourmet
Wednesday Afternoon
KM) News News Bewitched
| :15
# ,30 Mike Douglas Search for That Girl
JL«i ,45 * Tomorrow "
I.QO n Dtvoroe Dream •
jl 5 » Court House
•3Q *• As Hie Make A
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2.qq Days el Our Love is Splen- Newlywed
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4:00 Name Movie: Dark
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Truth or
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,30 " *
AS "
■ — . i
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