Newspaper Page Text
Between A Rock and A Hard Place
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IN JAPAN, MOST of the golf caddies are
women.. . . SUPPOSE YOU’RE aware the cosmetic folk now
market a hairspray for poodles. . . . MEDIAN AGE of the
suicides is 43. . . . THE EXPEDITION of Lewis and Clark cost
then about as much as a compact car costs now. . . EVERY
THIRD clock radio sold is said to go to a bride.
THE EYES - That theory that the color of a girl’s eyes
indicates something about her personality doesn’t get much
support around here. However, a Canadian psychiatrist named
lan Kent evidently believes in it. Women with blue eyes, he
claims, tend to be ambitious, opinionated, logical and
somewhat calculating in matters of romance. But women with
brown eyes, he says, are apt to be emotional, stubborn,
impulsive and oftentimes a little too quick to fall in love. Wait,
before you say bunk, bear in mind a sizeable school of citizens
believe the foregoing to be factual, generally.
OPEN QUESTION - Why do a lot of us tend to raise our
voices when we talk to the blind?
TO THE YOUNG FELLOW who wants to know how long it
will take him to make a respectable beard, all I can report is a
man’s whiskers grow about half an inch a month. ... A
PISCES GIRL tends to worry too much about her husband,
says our Planet man. Even after she wins him, she still goes on
wondering if she’ll lose him. . . . IF YOU ASK an engineer to
name the four greatest inventions of all time, he’ll probably
tell you the wheel, the lever, the wedge and the screw.
CUSTOMER SERVICE - “What’s the fastest anybody’s
ever gone on water skis?” A. Exactly 122.11 miles per hour.
Chuck Stearns of Bellflower, Cal., did that at the Marine
Stadium at Long Beach, CalQ. “WHAT’S a Yankee
dime?” A. That’s what the Southern girls in your granddad’s
day used to call a quick kiss. A hug was a Dutch quarter.
WITS - That the wit of W. C. Fields is undergoing a new rise
in popularity of late is a fact. But what I’d like to know is
when will there be a new rise in popularity of Fred Alien’s
wit? Such is due, maybe overdue. Clever fellow, Mr. Allen. He
was the electric gentleman who said of the musicianship of
Jack Benny . “Benny is the only violinist who makes you feel
the strings would sound better back on the cat.”
CONSIDER THIS - Grocery stores outnumber all other
kinds of stores in this country. Then come bars and
restaurants. After that, gas stations. Fourth is clothing shops.
And fifth, hardware stores. The grocery markets turn over the
greatest dollar volume, too.
RAPID REPLY - Couldn’t agree with you more, sir, and
those cartoonists ought to be informed that there s no record
anywhere that cannibals ever boiled a missionary in a big black
pot.
SIDE GLANCES by Gill Fox
U eOFFKE
jig | M (OWE
J I s ®n®
mSSlhrOw
Hl V ■ C In g i, Hl*. u<. T.M. MU S. IW. Oil. V l-H
“Yes, it's too bad about Hugo. Our Good Life failed
to grip him and he wound up with a blonde
secretary and a paneled office!"
CHECKING
•UP-
By L. M. Boyd
TIMELY
QUOTES
By United Press international
WASHINGTON—Senate Min
ority leader Hugh Scott, R-Pa.,
praising Judge G. Harrold
Carswell, new Nixon nominee
for the U.S. Supreme Court:
“He is a competent, well
trained judge. . .a strict
constructionist.. .The President
is redeeming a promise. . .to
provide balance to the court.”
WARSAW—A U.S. embassy
official, declining comment on
the renewal of diplomatic
contact with Red China after a
two-year lapse:
“Everything is so sensitive
that everyone has been told to
keep his mouth shut.”
FT. BENNING, Ga.—Defense
Attorney George W. Latimer,
arguing for the dismissal of a
civilian-murder charge against
Ist Lt. William L. Calley Jr.,
platoon commander in the
alleged My Lai massacre:
“Calley’s rights have been
impaired until they cannot be
restored because of the massive
publicity.”
WASHINGTON - Health Se
cretary Robert H. Finch, saying
he will take a go-slow attitude
toward reports that birth
control pills may have injurious
side effects:
“For almost all women the
advantages of using the pill in
terms of unwanted pregnancies
or dangers from miscarriage
far, far outweight the disadvan
tages. . .for us to come out with
a hasty judgment. . .would be
confusing.”
Almanac
For
Today
By United Press International
Today is Wednesday Jan. 21,
the 21st day of 1970 with 344 to
follow.
The moon is in its first
quarter.
The morning stars are
Mercury, Venus and Jupiter.
The evening stars are Mars
and Saturn.
On this day in history:
In 1861 Jefferson Davis
resigned from the United States
Senate twelve days before
Mississippi seceded from the
Union.
in 1954 the first atomic
powered submarine, the Nauti
lus, was launched at Groton,
Conn.
In 1968 an Air Force 852
bomber carrying four hydrogen
bombs crashed off Greenland.
A thought for the day:
President Harry Truman said:
“The responsibility of the great
states is to serve and not
dominate the world.”
THOUGHTS
Let brotherly love con
tinue. Do not neglect to
show hospitality to strang
ers, for thereby some have
entertained angels unawares.
—Hebrews 13:1, 2.
♦ ♦ ♦
The only way on earth to
multiply happiness is to
divide it. — Paul Scherer,
Swiss physicist.
*ui
pome
Defense Dept.—
Why Devious?
Forget Spiro Who. A man whose name ought to be
known in every household in America is A. Ernest Fitz
gerald.
A former efficiency expert with the Air Force, Fitzgerald
is the chappie, who blew the whistle (but didn’t stop the
ball game) on one of the most horrendous examples of
what the Pentagon gently labels “cost overruns.”
He committed the cardinal sin of telling a congressional
committee that the Air Force and Lockheed Aircraft had
underestimated the cost of building 120 mammoth C-5A
troop-cargo planes by some $2 billion.
As a reward for this display of unauthorized patriotism,
Fitzgerald was taken off his job as top man in cost control
for major weapons systems (those whose research and
development cost exceeds $25 million or whose final pur
chase price exceeds SIOO million) and assigned to the task
of figuring expenses for a servicemen’s bowling alley in
Thailand.
Then, in a reorganization shuffle, the Air Force suddenly
discovered that tne man it had nominated for “Most Out
standing Federal Employe” in 1967 was simply so much
deadwood and fired him from his $31,000-a-year job.
To add insult to injury, the Pentagon had the cheek—or
could it be just the naivete?—to explain to interested tax
payers that the dismissal was an “economy measure.”
The Air Force loses several times his annual salary
“through the cracks,” Fitzgerald told Newspaper Enter
prise Association correspondent Mary Ellen Riddle. And
who doubts it?
Running true to form, the Pentagon has created a new
office to be staffed by several Air Force officers. Their
job: Fitzgerald’s old civilian job.
Now calculating the cost of a new, exotic, intricate and
sophisticated weapons system is something that can elude
the best brains the Defense Department or private industry
can muster. Such a weapon may demand designs or com
ponents or production methods that have never before been
attempted.
Mix in the unpredictable factor of inflation and mistakes
are inevitable—and nothing to be ashamed of, if they have
been honestly made.
Far too often, however—if not regularly—the Pentagon
seems to have knowingly minimized costs or disguised
them by curious accounting procedures, as if fearing that
Congress or the American people would balk at undertak
ing the development of a particular weapon but hoping that
once the initial investment was made, Congress would come
through with the necessary extra funds.
The C-5A may not even be the worst such example.
In 1967, research and development of the Poseidon, a
submarine-launched missile system, was estimated at $3.3
billion, says the National Observer. The price today is $7
billion.
On a smaller scale, development cost of the Gama Goat,
a IMi -ton troop and cargo land vehicle, was originally
tagged at $69.1 million. It is now $373.6 million. •
The Navy contracted for construction of 26 destroyer
escorts at an estimated cost of $1,286 billion. It later
reported an "overrun” of about $1 million.
General Accounting Office auditors dispute this, saying
it did not include an additional $104.5 million in postdelivery
and other costs and a $96 million contractor’s claim. The
overrun, says the GAO, was not $1 million but about S2OO
million.
If the American people really need a C-5A or a Poseidon
or a Gama Goat or a destroyer escort or any other kind
of military hardware, they will willingly pay for it.
But if demotion and/or dismissal faces the dedicated
public servant who attempts to deal forthrightly with Con
gress, who reveals the true cost of a weapon, who questions
the accounting methods of the Pentagon, who points a
finger at waste, inefficiency or incompetence, America
may eventually wind up having the best-equipped but least
trusted military establishment in the world.
And that, in the long run, could be more of a threat to
the nation’s security than any number of Russian equival
ents of the C-SA.
Papal
36 Narrow band
of leather
38 Melancholy
39 Floor-washing
gadgets
41 South African
fox
42 Moslem holy
man
44 Bad (comb,
form)
46 Yugoslav coin
48 Papal
government
52 Musical
instrument
54 Musical drama
55 Unit of
reluctance
56 Correlative
of neither
57 Very stupid
individual
58 Man's title
(ab.)
59 Former ruler
of Tunis
60 Greek portico
DOWN
1 Partially raw
2 Unclose
ACROSS
1 Eternal City
5 The Holy
8 Urbi orbi
10 Os pontiff
11 Rowing
implement
12 Italian man’s
title
13 Sphere of
action
14 Grapple
16 Legislative
bodies
18 Thicket
19 Earth (comb,
form)
20 Diminutive
suffix
21 Armor
breaking club
24 Defense
group (ab.)
26 Children's
game
29 Dissociated
31 Black
substance
32 Guido’s high
note
33 Knight’s title
34 Bustle
Ji |2 |3 |4 |5 |6 |7 |8 |9
10 TT Jl2
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29 |5n883l M 32
33 Hr* - 35 37
38“
—43 "
46 1 47 ■■4 B 49 150 |sl
52 53 — 54
55 | 56 57
58 j” 1 59 60
I __J__L__ I 2»|
(Newspaper Enttrpriit Ann.)
Answer to Prosious Pusxle
of sorrow
28 Yawn
30 Tropical tree
35 Benedictine
title
37 Palm tree
40 Little (Scot.)
43 Disfigure
45 Particles of
matter
46 College
building (coll.)
47 Pastry chef
48 Differ
49 Large food
fish
50 Town in
Venezuela
51 Feminine
nickname
53 Ark builder
(var.)
3 Office VIP
4 Make joyful
5 Disseminates
6 Auricle
7 Derricks, for
instance
8 Congers
9 Woody plant
10 Dance step
12 Roman basil
ica (2 words)
15 Drunkard
17 Eternity
20 Greek letter
21 Quantity of
matter
22 South Seas
port
23 High papal
official
25 On top of
27 Exclamation
BEBBVS MIO
ffi El —
II
"What does one do on weekends with no bowl games?"
MY
ANSWER ‘,-H
* aJ’
Romans
Will you please explain Ro
mans 11:16-23? I am uncertain
of the meaning of these verses,
although I have read them
many times. S.F.
I am sorry, but space would
forbid me explaining all of these
verses to you. But let’s take the
one verse which I believe to be
the key to the rest: “For if God
spared not the natural branch
es, take heed lest he also spare
not thee.” (Romans 11:21).
The natural branches here
mentioned, of course, were Is
rael. The warning is against
spiritual smugness and care
lessness. It is a very easy thing
for nations, religious groups, or
individuals to become smug,
self-righteous, and complacent
about their status before God.
This was a warning to the Gen
tile Christians to not feel that
they were God’s pets, and that
He would deliver them no mat
ter how they conducted them
selves.
The warning also has an in
dividual implication. Christians
have to guard. against false
piety, complacency and even
hypocrisy. The key word of the
New Testament is Love. Faith
is important. Doctrine is impor
tant. But Paul said: “Now
abideth faith, hope and love;
but the greatest of these is
love.” We can never win the
non-Christian by smugness, or
by exhibiting unChristlike atti
tudes. Love is the spark that
will set the world aflame for
God.
WORLD ALMANAC
FACTS
J
The World Almanac notes
that James Buchanan was
A m e r i c a s only bachelor
president. Buchanan was
minister to Great Britain
when nominated for presi
dent by the D e m o c r a t i c
party. He ran on a “Save
the Union” theme and de
feated the Republican can
didate, John C. Fremont. In
1857, Buchanan became the
15th president of the United
States.
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