Newspaper Page Text
— Griffin Daily News Thursday, Nov. 18,1971
Page 20
If the heat doesn’t get you, the flies will
(EDITOR’S NOTE: This is
the first of a series of
articles from and about
Australia.)
By TOM TIEDE
You have better things
to do with your time
than spending it
in the kitchen.
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ALICE SPRINGS, NT.,
Australia—(NEA)—For long
er than man has recorded,
for longer than he can even
guess with certainty, the
Australian outback has been
one of the world’s least love-
ly places.
Dry as death, hot as hell,
crawling with creatures from
another time, the outback
“bush” covers an area two
thirds the size of the United
States and assaults the
senses with its sterility and
scrub.
Some natives here say it
began as God’s garbage
dump. Early explorers were
so disgusted with the land
they didn’t even record its
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A LONG WAY from anywhere, the Australian outback is two-thirds the size of the
United States.
discovery until 1770. The
first settlers were so numbed
by the desolation they at
tached names like “Mt.
Hopeless” to the features.
Even today the land re
mains, at best, menacing.
Airplanes fly over, telephone
poles crisscross the flats,
there are some few business
attractions, in fact. Yet the
land is reluctant to yield.
Most Australians avoid it,
live as far from it as pos
sible, and so continue to
leave most of their continent
to “a few dim blokes what
enjoy spending their days
chasing off the scorpions
and flies.”
Like aborigines.
Like cattle ranchers.
Or, like me.
I discovered the rigors of
the outback the hard way,
the scary way, recently. I
got stuck dead on in the mid
dle of it.
It happened south of this
town, near the border of the
Northern Territories (one of
eight Australian states and
territories). I was driving
toward an isolated cattle
station and, in retrospect,
was using more cheek than
wit. No one should push out
into bush country with so
little knowledge of the ter
rain and circumstances.
My problem was the road.
It was “off the bitumen"
(blacktop), as they say here,
which means it resembled
a tank training route at Ft.
Benning, Ga. I soon discov
ered that my rental sedan
was inadequate to either
scale the road boulders or
float the drifting dust.
I did fairly well for a few
hours. I selected a manage
able speed (30 m.p.h.), got
the hang of the disastrous
curves, and even kept the
axle together over the foot
high bunkers of solid stone.
Then, several dozen miles
from anywhere, and with the
sun sinking beyond the
bloodwood trees, I panicked.
Suddenly, out of the prickle
bush, a loping hereford cow
jumped into the road. It was
the first animal I had seen
along the lonesome road,
and it came as a shock and
a fright. I jerked at my
wheel to avoid the beast,
swerved off the road, hit a
large rock and came to rest
against a witchetty bush.
The damage was minor,
but in this place somewhat
severe. I had a flat tire.
Worse, I was lodged in 12-18
inches of fine red dust.
I looked around. Nothing.
A large (three-foot) gowanna
lizard was crawling away,
ugly but timid. Other than
that, even the cow, the cul
prit, had disappeared. On
one side the land rolled 50-60
miles to distant small hills.
On the other side it just kept
rolling.
And then, like something
out of Gulliver’s Travels, the
flies began to land. On my
arms. On my neck. Up my
nostrils, in my eyes, through
the openings of my ears. I
flayed my arms and gave
the insects a verbal what
for, but they didn’t run and
they didn’t listen.
Big flies. Little flies. Hun-
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dreds of the things. In a few
minutes’ time they were up
my trouser legs and down
my shirt collar. They didn’t
bite. They didn’t sting. But
very soon I realized the va
lidity of the outback claim
that if the heat doesn’t get
one, and there is water to
drink, the flies can still kill
by torment.
I changed the tire as quick
ly as possible. Actually chok
ing on flies that rushed into
my mouth. And in a half
hour was ready to go.
But. More trouble. When
I shifted into gear, the car
didn’t move. The tires spun
furiously in the dust, getting
no traction.
I rocked the vehicle.
Burned the accelerator.
But I could get no move
ment.
I decided further spin
ning was useless. The dust
was so fine it offered no re
sistance. And in trying to
lick it I only sank deeper.
So I stopped there, and
thought, in the 95-degree
heat, and the flies crawling
in my hair, and the map
showing the nearest cattle
station 20 miles away. I sat,
or paced, for an hour.
Through sundown and into
night. Two hours. Three.
Hoping that, as I’d been told
in town, there were “one or
two cars on the road every
day.”
Every day? Or every
week? About the time I be
gan to seriously wonder, I
thought, Eureka, of my sal
vation. I quickly let the air
out of my rear tires. And it
worked. The extra rubber
surface grabbed the dust and
I was able to goad the auto
mobile back onto the-uh
road.
It took me about an hour
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What’s New At
Grandma’s Pig?
S |ice< i or Chopped
X PORK or BEEF
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V wa- 3895
Grandmas p|r
PIT COOKED BAR-B-QUE
2 Miles North Os Bonanza Sirloin Pit On North Expressway
to reach a cattle station, an
airpump, and a chuckling old
Aussie who said: “Flies?
Oh, they don’t mean no
harm. You see, there’s so
little life out here that when
somebody comes along they
just naturally jump on him
for the ride.”
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GUARDS CANNED
DALLAS (UPI) -Sheriff
Clarence Jones fired a jailer
for having sexual relations with
a female prisoner, he said
Wednesday. Two other guards
were suspended for borrowing
money from prisoners.
A week ago, a grand jury
statement congratulated Jones
for the way he ran the jail,
saying it was “impressed with
the caliber of the guards.”
REVEREND ARRESTED
MODESTO, Calif. (UPI) —
The Rev. Kirby Hensley has
been arrested again, this time
for marrying a couple who did
not have a marriage license.
Hensley was arrested Tues
day on the misdemeanor
offense and released on $315
bail in Stanislaus County
Municipal Court.
The red-haired founder of the
Universal Life Church gained
prominence by giving away
ministerial degrees free on a
mail order basis. Later he
began charging sl.
In 1969, Hensley was convict
ed and placed on probation for
selling S2O “honorary doctor of
divinity” degrees in violation of
the state education code.