Newspaper Page Text
— Griffin Daily News Tuesday, April 30,1974
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"Glad You’re Home, Huh?
So Are The Russians.”
t. M BOYD
Accountants
Concentrate
University experts have put together an extensive test to
measure a person's creative imagination It s called the
Ideaphona Examination To register the flow of bright ideas
Predictably, design engineers score quite high But the better
accountants almost invariably come up with an exceedingly
low score The test makers contend this doesn't reflect badly
on said accountants Rather, it indicates they're able to con
centrate on their figures without daydreams
The old Greeks made napkins out of asbestos Never
washed them Didn't have to Just tossed them into the fire
after the meal to burn them clean
TARZAN
Q "How many Tarzan books did Edgar Rice Burroughs
write?''
A Just 26 But don't forget his 64 other novels Were you
aware he invented 18 languages which nobody but his
characters learned to speak?
Q "Can a cobra kill an elephant 7 ”
A If it bites the tip of the elephant's trunk or the base
of the elephant's toenail, it can
Q "Isn't the tonsillectomy the most common surgical
procedure 7 ''
A Was Abortion is now
Client asks our zodiac expert to characterize the Aries
woman She's inclined to be ardent and romantic, says he, but
is apt to hurt those she loves because of her desire to dominate
Typically, she’s said to turn on with overdoses of leadership
CHOCOLATE
Was exactly 76 years before the start of the American
Revolution and precisely 160 years after the death of the
world's greatest writer William Shakespeare that a British
woman, her name now unknown, made a discovery likewise of
of histone importance: Namely, that hot chocolate tastes better
with milk than with water That drink was pretty slow to
develop, should mention Was 256 years before milk went
into it that the Spaniard Hernando Cortes first flavored it
with sugar Earlier, the Aztecs used pepper. Might put out a
book about this. If the dairymen and cane growers will pony
up the printing costs
Chicago gets 15 per cent more rain than do the towns
around it. So does St Louis Rising heat from the buildings
is why
The cranial vault in the left side of your skull is just a little
bit larger than the right, if you're a typical right-hander
Address moil to I. M. Boyd. P O. Box 17076, Fort Worth, TX 76102.
Copyright 1973 I. M Boyd
SIDE GLANCES by Gill Fox
Off
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"If you see something long-haired and naked run by.
Mom, don't be alarmed. It’s just the campus streaker!
Almanac
For
Today
By United Press International
Today is Tuesday, April 30,
the 120th day of 1974 with 245
days to follow.
The moon is between its first
quarter and full phase.
The morning stars are
Mercury, Venus and Jupiter.
The evening stars are Mars
and Saturn.
Those born on this date are
under the sign of Taurus.
Queen Juliana of the Nether
lands was born April 30, 1909.
On this day in history :
In 1803, the United States
more than doubled its land area
with the Ixiuisiana Purchase. It
obtained all French territory
west of the Mississippi River
for sls million.
In 1945, the body of German
dictator Adolf Hitler was found
in a bunker under the ruins of
Berlin. Also that day, Russian
soldiers captured the Reichstag
in Berlin, raising the Commu
nist flag over the Nazi capital.
In 1963, New Hampshire
became the first state to
legalize a state-run lottery
since 1894 when a similar one
ended in Louisiana.
In 1973, President Nixon
acknowledged responsibility for
the Watergate break-in but
denied knowledge of the plot.
Also that day, Nixon dismissed
John Dean as White House
counsel, and presidential aides
H. R. Haldeman and John
Ehrlichman resigned.
BARBS
Glasses have a remarkable
effect on vision — especially
when you've emptied several
in a half-hour's time.
At the international
dateline von can lose a day;
on the highway centerline
you can beat that by an eter
nity.
THOUGHTS
Repay no one evil for evil,
but take thought for what is
noble in the sight of all. If
possible, so far as it depends
upon you. live peaceably
with all. —Romans 12:17,18.
"There is no dependence
that can be sure but a depen
dence upon one’s self. - —
John Gay, English composer
GRIFFIN DAILY NEWS
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view
‘ln God we trust’
Today is the last day of April, the one
upon which Congress has called for
Americans “to humble ourselves as we see
fit, before our Creator to acknowledge our
final dependence upon Him and to repent
of our national sins.”
What is No. 1?
What is the nation’s top problem?
Senator Talmadge said the other day
that it is “runaway federal spending and
inflation.”
That is a big one, all right. No doubt it is
the number one economic problem. In our
judgment, though, it is not the No. 1
problem of all the big barrel of them in
America.
The top culprit is an erosion not of the
dollar but of the spirit. Self doubts plague
us. We squabble, bicker and fight almost
constantly among ourselves. We doubt and
despise public officials on all levels, even
though we elected them. Criminals and
violence have us cringing. Terrorists
frustrate us. Black and white racists
Don’t drown
The drowning season is upon us. Just
last weekend a 15-year-old girl from
Macon drowned at High Falls.
Water sports are wonderful, and as the
weather warms even more, they will be
Chips off the deficit
Mortgaging our tomorrows to get what
we need or want today has become a
common practice.
Within bounds, borrowing is a sensible
way to finance major expenditures. But
government, with its perennial deficits,
steps out of bounds when it fritters money
away on projects that are non-essential —
even frivolous.
Here are a few we could do without:
— $12,600 to investigate the
chromosomal makeup of chipmunks.
— $60,000 to study Polish bisexual frogs.
— $59,000 for upkeep of the government’s
3-million-pound cache of goose feathers.
Random thoughts
Politicians often cuss statesmen, but
statesmen seldom cuss politicians. This
may be one of the differences in the two.
‘More than selves
to be considered’
I have been an admirer of yours for
years. I got to know God through your TV
Crusades. I read your daily column also,
but I must be honest with you. I didn't go
along with the advice you gave on Febru
ary 17, 1974. The problem concerned a 20
year old daughter who had moved in with a
married man. Tell her to leave this fellow,
because they have more than themselves
to consider. M. J. H.
After rereading that particular column,
I agree with you. I was trying, however, to
suggest attitudes for the frustrated
parents — like love, fortitude and op
timism. I assumed from their original
letter that they had, of course, already
voiced their disapproval.
’Ph
111
point
Quimby Melton, Jr.
Editor
Telephone 227-6336
Faith and prayer did much to build the
United States, and they can do just as
much to save it from its present self. So,
the Congress has called upon us to pray,
and this is just a reminder that today is the
day.
blame everything on each other.
This is a great nation, though, and the
only thing necessary is for its people to get
together, for the vast majority to start
making demands of their own, basic ones
for basic things such as honesty in
government, safe streets in cities, safe
country roads, apprehension, prosecution
and conviction of criminals with top
priority given to terrorists.
During one of the gloomiest times in
America, President Franklin Roosevelt
said, “We have nothing to fear but fear
itself.”
How correct he was, and that statement
is as true today as it was in the Great
Depression.
increasingly attractive. But don’t drown.
Precautionary measures are taken for
one’s own protection, and everyone who
swims should pay close attention to basic
safety. There is a lot of fun to be had, but
not at your own funeral.
— $35,000 for five 5-minute films on
recommended procedures for brushing
one’s teeth.
— $70,000 to study the smell of
Australian aborigine sweat.
Compared to a projected federal deficit
of $4.7 billion and a national debt of S4OO
billion, these sums are trifling. But if
thousands are so easily wasted, we wonder
about some of the millions and billions.
Locally we could do without the City
Light and Water Department’s “Hot Line”
publicity sheet.
A columnist asks, “Ever wonder what
Adam called Eve?” No, but if he was
smart he called her “yes Mam”.
Nevertheless, I am glad for the occasion
to underscore the folly of these so-called
"love relationships” which violate the
marriage laws of society and the moral
laws of God.
The press keeps reporting that "open
marriage” — that is, living together in
anything other than a monogamous
partnership between one man and one
woman, is viewed more and more
favorably. That may be, but it is
deplorable, because it destroys the
foundation of the home, which is the basic
component of any successful society.
These are days when people with
Biblical scruples need to speak up. Thanks
for the encouragement to do so.
MY |M|
ANSWER IB
BEBirS WORLD
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“Good afternoon! I'm your Avon man!’’
Don Oakley
< Only following
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By Don Oakley
If some poor jerk down at the bottom of the chain of politi
cal command had been saddled with all the blame for Wat
ergate and the case had then been called closed by the very
higher-ups who had employed him. there would have been a
great outcry from the American people.
Yet there’ was no such outcry when one lowly first lieute
nant was convicted for the My Lai massacre while all those
above him were either exonerated or not touched at all.
True, there was an intense emotional reaction when Lt.
William L. Calley, alone of all those implicated in My Lai.
was sentenced to life imprisonment after a court-martial
found him guilty of murdering “not less than 22 Viet
namese." Thus it’is not surprising that there were few prot
ests when the Army later cut the sentence to 20 years, or that
there are few protests now that Secretary of the Army
Howard H. Callaway has further reduced it to 10 years, mak
ing Calley eligible for early parole.
What is surprising is that there has been little reaction to
Callaway’s finding of “mitigating circumstances” — that is,
that Calley may not have been aware that he did not have to
obey an illegal order.
Who issued the illegal order?
My La i and Watergate cannot be compared, of course. The
one happened far away in a dubious war we would just as
soon bury in history. Such things, we say, happen in wars.
The other, however, happened right here, and it struck at
the very roots of our political institutions. It cannot be ig
nored.
But history will judge America in both cases. Whatever
the fate of Calley, the real judgment in his tragedy is yet to
be made.
Doctor knows best
Medical science has discovered yet another wonder drug
— sugar. Not the kind you sprinkle on your breakfast cereal
but the kind used in fake pills called placebos.
Chemically, of course, sugar is sugar, but when adminis
tered by a doctor in a medical setting (and when the patient
does not know it is just sugar), it can have dramatic curative
effects — so much so that “doctors should treat the placebo
as a standard item in the physician's black bag.”
That’s the opinion of one authority, Dr. Frederick J.
Evans, a psychologist with the Institute of the Pennsylvania
Hospital and the University of Pennsylvania.
“An impressive amount of clinical information shows the
placebo is an active and potent method of relieving pain in
its own right," he says in an article entitled “The Power of
the Sugar Pill’’ in Psychology Today magazine.
It has been found, for instance, that the sugar pill or
placebo is half as effective as a standard dose of morphine in
about one-third of patients. Paradoxically, studies also show
that it is half as effective as the most popular over-the
counter painkiller, aspirin.
Interestingly, when a doctor himself is not aware that he is
giving a placebo but believes he is using a powerful
painkiller, the result is a strong placebo effect. If, however,
the physician assumes that the analgesic is mild, the result is
a much smaller placebo effect.
It has also been found that two placebo pills or capsules
work better than one and that either a very large brown or
purple pill or a very small, bright red or yellow one are more
effective than other size and color combinations.
Obviously, the power of suggestion has something to do
with all this, yet careful studies have failed to find anv rela
tionship between suggestibility or gullibility and sensitivity
to placebos.
Nevertheless, Evans sums up, “When the doctor is con
vinced that the drug will work and when the patient believes
it will, and believes that what the doctor is doing makes
sense, then positive results will likely occur."
'NEWSPAPER ENTERPRISE ASSN 1
QUOTES
American novelist Thomas
Wolfe said, “There is no
spectacle on earth more appeal
ing than that of a beautiful
woman in the act of cooking
dinner for someone she loves.”
American writer Charles
Warner said, “The thing
generally raised on city land is
taxes.”
American poet Robert Frost
said, “I never dared to be
radical when young, for fear it
would make me conservative
when old.”
American humorist Mark
Twain said, “Work consists of
whatever a body is obliged to
do. Play consists of what a body
is not obliged to do.”
GRIFFIN
Quimby Melton, Jr„ Editor and Publisher
Cary Reeves.
General Manager
FuH leased Wire Service DPI, Full NEA. Address all mail
(Subscriptions Chaaje of Address form 3579) to P.O. 801 135,
E. Solomon St. Griffin. Ga.
WORLD ALMANAC
SIR:- 5 '
The mystery of why some
whales and dolphins sud
denly strand themselves on
beaches may soon be solved.
The Smithsonian Institution
has organized a program to
alert its scientists whenever
a beaching occurs along the
Atlantic coast thus allowing
immediate studies to be
made, The World Almanac
notes. One theory is that en
vironmental conditions in the
water interfere with the
natural sonar navigation sys
tem used by these mammals.
Bill Knight,
Executive Editor
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