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fied with himself, and desperate of amend
ment.”
A thoughtful silence followed, which was
broken by their venerable friend quoting
those two'lines of thrilling philanthropy—
“ Man's grief is grandeur in disguise,
And discontent is immortality.”
“ My friends, your souls are uttering in j
these complaints your wrongs against them: j
they are proclaiming their immortal birth
and destiny. 1 augur much good from your
general discontent, from your unqualified
and honest confession.”
“ Alas!” said Mr. Clay, “ it is too late— (
the year is lost /”
To be found,” said Ins friend. Ibe
clock struck twelve. “ Almighty power and
goodness does give you hack the yeai. A
new period of time like that lost and lament
ed is begun. Try now the reality and fotce
of your repentance, and when the last sand
of the year now opening is run out, may
you, my dear friends, be among those of
whom it may be said, “ blessed are those
servants whom the Cord when he coineth
shall find watching.’ ”
May our readers begin the year 1543, with
purposes on which this gracious benediction
may rest when it doses.
‘mm © E IL L A M Y u
“ Is he a Mechanic ?” —There is nothing
disreputable in being a mechanic—on the
contrary, the matt who earns an honorable
livelihood by the exertion of the skill and in
dustry —“by the sweat of bis brow”—de
serves as much consideration in society as
any other man. but there is an intete
rate prejudice against mechanics, with those
who have more pride than good sense—and
we have often seen the lip curled with con
tempt, when an affirmative answer has been
given to the question, * is ho a mechanic ?
We care not what grace of person or accom
plishment of mind a young man may have,
the fact of his being a mechanic is sufficient
to exclude him from what is falsely termed
the first society, particularly among females.
They have a great predilection for what are
called gentlemen, and too often sacrificed the
happiness of their lives by connecting them
selves with men who have no other recom
mendation than that of being too lazy to
work. Nowall distinctions save those be
tween merit and demerit, are perfectly ri
diculous in a country where all are regarded
as equal by the laws —and nothing is more
contemptible than to attempt to discriminate
between gentlemen and mechanics. 1 here
is nothing in the occupation which prohibits
the mechanic from cultivating his mind ; be
ing moral and upright in his deportment; or
obtaining distinction among his fellow-citi
zens. Nor is there any thing in a profession
which necessarily refines the manners, ptui
fies the heart, and particularly qualities for
distinction. Some of the ablest men in the
world have belonged to both classes —and
—r.p iu either. —
separation, and inferiority m attempted
to be stamped upon the mechanic; not be
cause of his ignorance or want of character,
hut from his following an occupation which
requires manual labor, which is not consid
ered genteel by boarding school misses who
may themselves be indebted for their impor
tance to the lapstone or the needle. To
please such, and to be ranked among gen
tlemen, youths are raised in idleness, and
die in poverty. It is a great mistake in pa
rents to yield to this weakness. It is their du
ty to provide their smi3 with the means of
future support, not by leaving them fortunes
to be squandered—but by giving them trades
by which they can live, and industrious
and prudent habits which will always secure
them independence. The wheel of Time is
perpetually turning, and in its revolution el
evates the professional man, ami precipitates
to the bottom the foolish and improvident.
The scene is continually shifting; and men
are like the buckets in a well, as one de
scends another rises—alternately full and
empty.
“The wealthy to-day are the poor t -morrow,
They rise upm joy, and sink down in sorrow.”
And this is greatly owing to the ambitious
desire of outdoing others. They see hap
piness in fleeting shadows ; forgetful that
“ Worth makes the man, the want of it the fellow.”
It is true that the mechanic, like other
men, is subject to the mutilations of fortune
—but he lias always a resource —a some
thing to break the severity of his fall—for
whilst not deprived of his physical powers,
lie carries in his hands the power of recov
ery.
For a female, a small, soft hand may be
deemed a beauty —but in a man it is no re
commendation with persons of good sense
—and yet an effeminate, lisping ignoramus,
with the appendanges of imperial and mus
tache, will be received into society from
which the intelligent and honorable mechan
ic is excluded. This would be a matter too
insignificant for notice, were it not that it lias
a pernicious influence on the younger por
tion of the community, male and female.
The Arts. — The power of the Press. —ln
the year 1273, the wages of a laboring man
were just three half pence per day: and at
the same period, the price of a Bible,
fairly written out, was vC3O sterling. Os
course a common laborer in those daps, could
not have procured a Bible with less than the
entire earnings of thirteen years! Now, a
beautiful printed copy of the same book can
be purchased with the earnings of one day !
Take another view of the subject. An ordi
nary clerk cannot make'a fair manuscript
copy of the Bible in less than three months !
With a common printing press, work equiv
alent to printing a copy of the whole Bible,
can be done in ten minutes, and with a steam
press of the most improved construction, the
same work can be done in three minutes !
England's next “ more." —lt is implied in
a late English paper that the British forces
in China, having nothing to do since that
country has Jiceu brought to terms, are to be
itmused with an attack on Japan, the inhab
itants of that island having hitherto obsti
nately refused all intercourse with British
vessel*.
Political Lessons.— Libel ty does not con
sist in forms, and aristociacies many exist
without exclusive rights. A people maybe
practically free under a despotism, and
practically oppressed under a democracy.
Equal lights may exist under the foiros of
aristocracy, und the few may convert the
many into slaves through the forms of de
mocracy. Let us contend for things, not
names; and let not names deceive us about
the value of things. \V hen Ctesar enslaved
the Homans, if that can be called reduction
to slavery which was a transition from the
rule of a few masters to that of one, he
maintained all the ancier.t forms. Ho un
derstnud the Homan character. lie saw
that the citizens of the rotten state, that
ferocious and profligate aristocracy in the
garb of a democracy, could think just deep
enough to suppose that liberty consisted in
forms’. He knew that they would spurn an
angel for a ruler if he were called king, and
would worship a fiend if called a consul or
a tribune. He knew that they would sub
mit to any outrage or suffering in t|ic name
of the republic, but would accept neither
1 freedom nor security from a monarchy.
| Hence, in establishing his despotisms upon
the ruins of that exercised by conscript
i fathers, triumvirs, dictators and tiibunes, he
carefully preserved all ancient forms and
i names. The agents of his will were sena
; tors and tribunes, and his proclamations ]
: were decrees of the Senate and judgment
j of the Homan people. Napoleon followed
I his example at first, and had he never de
-1 patted from it would have established his
power firmly. In making himself master
of France, he was careful to preserve the
i title of consul, and the machinery of a mini
: itial legislature. But when he assumed
crowns and sceptres, the very things which j
the revolution had combatted and east down,
he struck the axe at the root of his power.
England is govifPed by republican forms.
But those who act through them are a grasp
ing, relentless aristocracy, who govern with
a rod of iron, sprinkle their palace floors
with blood of other nations, and wash them
\ with the tears of compatriot paupers. Prus
j sia is governed by despotic forms, and is
j the fteest country in Europe. The Prus
sians have no rights theoretically, and yet
; enjoy more rights practically, than any o'.h
|er Europeans. Foims alone cannot ensure
1 liberty, for the forms of liberty may he used
I as the most potent engines of despotism.
We Americans have all the forms, and
i much of the substance, of freedom. But
I are we perfectly safe ? May not the sub
; stance depart, while the forms remain ?
j The worst of despotisms is that which is
| exercised under the forms of freedom ; and
I it is the worst, because fraud is necessary
|to effect the work of oppression. A sultan
! or pacha may stl ike at his subjects directly;
I hut as he cannot see them all, none suffer
j excepting those who are near, and even
I those are spared when lie is wise enough to
I govern mildly. But an aristocratic legisla
! tore working through popular opinion, and
. . t vii;uin t . Ulinco rT it JAlTmvssiyti SYS
j into believing what is rut true, and into sce
| ing vvliat does not exist. To compass one
| scheme of self-interest, it must raise a com-
J plicated structure of minor mischief. In
j what country is legislation so complicated
as in England? In what country are legis
| tutors elected and the work of legislation
j conducted through so much misrepresenta
tion and falsehood? In none. And why?
Because the people, possessing republican
machinery, must be deceived about its ope
ration ; because the few, having a partial
object to accomplish, must conceal their real
design from the many, and mislead them by
tulse professions. Having the same forms
as England, we are exposed to the same
system, and when we imagine ourselves
safest, are in the greatest danger. Partial
legislation will be as mischievous among us
-Jus the Knulid), ami almost ns easily accom
plished. Whenever we legislate for paitic
ular interests, wo cieate the mischief of
partial legislation.— Phil. “ United States.’’
Something among the Stars. —We see it
mentioned in some of the eastern papers as
the opinion of an astronomer, that some
thing is going on among the Planets rathet*
unusual. Herrsrhel it is thought is about
to leave the solar system, and connected
himself with some other dynasty of stars.
And it is said also, that there is a m:iou con
templated between Venus and Mercury ;
on what terms, we do not understand. Our
readers will also recollect that large fires
have recently been discovered in the Moon,
(fires and combustion without atmosphere;)
and there may be some changes going on ;
some removals, as we say in this mundane
spheriod. We know that there have been
turnings out above. A beautiful star, that
many years shone in the constellation of
Cossiopin, was dismissed. And then one
of the Pleiades was turned out and has nev
er been replaced that we know of. Why
then should there not be a continuance of
these changes ? The stais themselves may
wish for a little promotion. With them,
rotation in office may be a rule, and a one
term principle may now operate to dismiss
a planet or two from its present situation.
Or they change for a mere love of change ;
“Slars grow tired of pastimes Olympics),
Stars and planets that beautifully shine,”
may wish to roll in another orbit. Or the
planets weary of the solitary life, may wish
fora union,just as the fixed stars enjoy, and
hence it is possible that the whole system
will be altered. Who knows ? Not we in
deed. And we only speculate upon it be
cause others who know as little as we do,
talk as if they knew the ordinances of Heav
en, or could set the dominion thereof on
the earth.— U. S. Gazette.
The (Irate. —Tear away the horrors that
cling about the word, and it is a bridal bed,
on which the morning spreads a golden car
pet, and where spring strews his gayest gar
lands. None but a groaning sinner can mis
name death, a frightful skeleton. She is
kind and gentle youth, blooming as love him
self, hut less deceitful; a silent benevolent
genius, who lends a helping arm to the soul,
worn out in this world’s pilgrimage, open to
us the fairy palace of ever lasting bliss, gives
us a friendly nod and vanishes.
<D IST IP mHHi it * SHU©® IE IL IL Ait H
Curefor a Foundered Horse. —l send yon
the following prescription, which you mav
give a place iu your paper, if you think i
will be of any advantage to planters and trav
ellers. , ’
As soon as you find your horse is found
ered, bleed him in the neck, in proportion j
to the greatness of the founder. In extreme
cases, you may bleed him as long as he can ;
stand up. Then draw his head up, as com
mon in drenching, and with a spoon put far
hack on his tongue strong salt, until you get
him to swallow one pint. Be careful not
to let him dr ink too much. Then annoint
r ound the edges of his hoofs with spirits of
tnrpeutine, and your horse will be well in
one hour'.
A founder pervades every part of the sys
tem of a horse. The bleeding arrest it from
the blood ; the salt arrests it from the stom
ach and bowels; and the spir its arrest it from j
the feet and limbs.
I once rode a hired horse 99 miles iti two ■
days, returning him at night the second day;
and his owner would not have known that
he had been foundered if I bad not told him,
and his founder was one of the deepest kind.
I once in a travel of 700 miles, foundered ;
my horse three times, and I do not think j
that my journey was retarded more than
one day by the misfortune, having in all the
cases observed and practiced the above pre
scription. All founders must be attendee to
iminediately. — South western Farmer.
An Editor’s Stratagem. —We believe i is
not true, as has been stated, that Mr. r l heo
dore Hook was the editor of the “John Bill”
from its commencement. He was. in can
junction with Mr. Broker, of the Admiralty,
one of its earliest contributors; but it was
not until sometime afterward that its sole
management was entrusted to his care. He
in some measure changed itscharaeter, great
ly retrenching its personalities, and was
more anxious to render it remarkable f.r
riuiet and inoffensive humor, than to sustain
its reputation for keen satire ami scandalous
stories. With all his circumspection, how
ever, he was sometimes involved in awk,atd
positions by the responsibilities of tcfijtor
ship, by which he contrived to escape with
his accustomed tact often making the nvnle
of his deliverance serve as an admirable jest.
On one occasion, a thin-skinned gentleman,
who conceived his conduct had been com
mented on with two much freedom, called
at the Bull office, and inquired for the edi
tor. The publisher, guessing his errand
from the fierceness of his demeanor, and the
stout lioisewhip he held in his hand, inform
ed the choleric gentleman that the editor
was not then at the office, but might proba
bly be seen at 12 o’clock the next day.—
Punctually at the appointed hour, the gen
tleman, horsewhip in hand, arrived, and was
shown up stairs into an empty room. Aftei
waiting some minutes in anxious suspense,
the door slowly opened, and a fine young
fellow, of Herculean proportions, entered
the room in his shirt sleeves. The courage
afi'firiexpfrwtf apff&rffltW.’ffJttH’
quired of the young giant before him if he
was the editor. “lit-dml, lam the edilhur!”
was the reply, in a strong Irish accent, “at
your survive !” “ Impossible!” said the
gentleman, trembling in every limb as lie
saw the fellow coolly tuck up his sliiit
sleeves, display arms that would have felled
an ox without difficulty, and then spit in his
hands, as be clenched them, and then place
himself in a fighting attitude—“ Impossible!
you can’t be the editor.” But the reply was
still the same: “Faith! I am the editlmr,
at your sarvice,” the last word being deliv
ered very insignificantly. The visiter, ut
terly panic struck, retreated towards the
door as the editor advanced, then abandon
ing his horsewhip, lie rushed precipitately
out of the house, leaving Hook, who had
been a witness of the scene, in a closet ofilie
room, half suffocated with laughter at the
sucucss of his stratagem.
Union of the Atlantic and Pacific. —This
great work is likely to he accomplished by
constructing a canal across the Isthmus of
Darien. A company chartered some time
since by the government of New Grenada
has the surveys fora ship canal and made a
road. They have now broken ground for
tlie canal. It extends from the bay ufClio
reia, on the Pacific, to lhe town of’Chagres
on the Atlantic. It is remarkable, that at
this part of the Isthmus, a subsidence ofthe
great mountain chains of the Andes and Cor
dilleras, occurs, and forms a valley from four
to thirteen miles in width, scattered over
with conical heights from twenty to sixty
feet high. Among these hiils wind small
steams which unite in the rivers, Chagres
on the Atlantic side and Grande on the Pa
cific. The dividing country has an eleva
tion of only 37 feet above the highest known
level ofthe sea, or G 4 feet above the low tide.
The cutting necessary to unite the- two
oceans will he twelve miles and a half long,
the full to be regullated bv four double locks
of ISS feet in length. The rivers Chagres
and Grande will be used for the rest ofthe
canal and will be kept at the proper depth
by dredging and excavation. The whole
canal will lie 4G miles long, 136 feet broad
at the top. 55 feet at the bottom, and twen
ty feet deep. It will lie navigable for ves
sels of from 1000 to 1100 tons. The esti
mated cost of this work is a little under three
millions. A few years will probably wit
ness its completion.
Alaniaapotu. —The effects of this horri
ble malady were exhibited on board the
steamboat Swallow, on her last trip from
New Orleans to this place A deck passen
ger named Louis Grinins, under the influ
ence of this disorder, without any cause or
provocation, drew a knife and rushed into
the midst of his fellow passengers, anfTsbc
ceeded iu severely wounding nine of them,
(none dangerously.) and immediately after
wards jumped oveiboard and was drowned.
—Louisville Journal.
Auful. —There are said to be two pas
sages in the scripture which go to prove
that females do not go to Heaven ! First
‘ And there appeared in Heaven, lo! a wo
man, (Rev. xikil.) Second— ‘ There was
silence in Heaven about the space .of half
an hour. (Ibid. viii. 1)
Important Decision.— They undertook to
deal with a sister in the churc h out in lowa
for the sin of dancing. Whereupon her
father appeared before the deacons and pio
pounded the following question : “ Is it any
sir. to hear mush: ? or is it any sin to jump
up ?” “ Certainly not,” the deacon replied.
‘• Wherein consists the sin in dancing ?” the
father asked. To which the deacon replied,
“it consists in jumping up to the time of
music.” At this stage of the proceedings,
the young lady begged leafto intioduce the
testimony of her musicians and companions,
who testified that she never kept time, and
could not any way she could fix it. Where
upon she was triumphantly acquitted. — Chi
cago Dim.
The lectotalert of Old. —Those who think
teetotajism is anew tiring” will learn their
mistake by turning to the 34th chapter of
Jeremiah, vvheie they will find recorded the
following: j
“ I ft before the sons of the house of the j
Hachabites pots full of wine, and cups, and
I said unto them diink ye wine. But they |
said, we will drink no wine ; for Jonadab,
the son of Rechub, our father, commanded
us saying, ye shall drink no wine ; neither
ye, nor your sons foiever. Thus vve have
obeyed the voice of Jonadab, tlie son of Re
cliab, our father, in all that he* bath charged
us to drink no wine all our days, we, our ,
wives our sons, nor daughters.”
An exciting Lesson. —The following sen- j
fence is taken from an aitide in the Boston ,
Quarterly Review, on the subject of novel :
reading:
“ Throw away the last new novel ; go
witli me through these daik lanes, blind
courts, into the damp cellars, unfurnished
garrets, where poverty, vice and crime are
crowded together, layer upon layer, where
breeds the corruption that pollutes our whole
moral atmosphere. Here, my friends, is a
volume that may excite you ; here is a work
which you may read'. Forget your luxury;
forget your luxurious ease ; blush for your
repinings, your sentimenal whimperings,
your vapors and indigestion ; and remem
ber lliat vnu are men and women ; and that
it is your business to make this heart a par
adise, and every human heart a meet temple
for the living God.”
A man without money is a body without
a soul a walking death a spectre that fright
ens every one. His countenance is sorrow
ful, and his conversation languishing and te
dious. If he calles upon an acquaintance
lie never finds him at home, and if he opens
liis mouth he is interrupted every moment,
so that he may not have a chance to finish his
discourse, which, it is feat ed, will end with
asking for money. Want wakes him up in
the morning, and misery accompanies him
to his bed at night. The ladies discover
him *n be a-great booby; landlords believe
that he lives upon air, and if he wants any
thing from a tradesman lie is asked for the
cash before delivery.
The first consideration in selecting a com
panion for life, should be good sense and
good disposition. A fine figure, a good
face, and sweet smile, a soft voice, and in
teresting manners, do very well for the days
of courtship—those are the means of win
ning affection ; but let all young persons,
male and female, rest assured that they can
never retain it, unless they are aided by an
amiable disposition.”
■ww umwvmmammm twm
it h e ihi ym©la and a
“ Care to our coffin adds a nail no doubt.
But every grin of laughter draws one out !**
Avery obedient Husband. —ln the course
of our reading vve have seldom ‘come upon’
a richer description of the ‘good easy soul
of a husband,’ than the one we are about to
relate. A shrewd Scotch woman by the
name of lady Arden, complained ofthe tooth
ache. All the remedies used on such occa
sions were applied, hut still she found no
j relief. Ai lengih she decided on sending to
i Edingbiirgh, a distance of fifty miles from
I Clydesdale Ca te. for a dentist to extract
i the suffering tooth ; and when lie arrived
she declared that her nerves were unequal
to lhe submitting to the operation, unless
she saw it performed on someone else first.
The few friends admitted into the sanctuary
or boudoir, looked agast at this declara
tion, each expecting to be called, but after
the silence of a fewminuites and no one of
fering, she told Lord Arder. that he must
have a tooth taken out, that she might judge
from his manner of supporting the opera
tion if s* e could go through it. He appeared
amazingly disconcerted; but a few wry
faces and serious expostulations having
failed to mollify the lady, the obedient hus
band submitted ; and a fine, sound tooth
was extracted from his jaw; after which
she declared ‘ that she had seen enough to
convince her that she could not undergo a
similar operation !’
Geese exempt from Attachment. —Miser
Skinflint was a shrewd, money-lending yan
kee. He was one of those men who are
their own lawyers, and as soon as a debt ar
rived at maturity, if not paid, he would fill
a writ and hove it served forthwith, with or
ders to attach anything the officer could get
hold of. Yet, though hold in his movements
he was by nature timid, and might be read
ily frightened.
Mr. W illiams was one day sitting in his
office, smoking a cigar, when a client enter
ed, looking like the shadow of starvation.
“ Squire,” said he, “ I’m a ruined man.
Miser Skinflint has taken all I’m worth in
the world. The darned cut-throat has got
all my geese.”
Now the attorney was a fat, jolly son of
mirth, and, with a twinkling eye, he prom
ised to get the geese back again. He sat
down to his desk, and wrote the following
note:
“ Mr. Skinflint, —Sir: If you would avoid
consequences ofthe most terrible character,
you will call at my office without an houi’s
delay. Yours, &c.,
John Williams.”
The .note had been written but about half
an hour, when Mr. Skinflint called.
“ How d’ye do ’Squire ?”
“ Mr. Skinflint,yourservant, sir,” respond
ed the attorney, looking very sedate.
“I’ve just got this letter,’Squire. What’s
the matter ?”
“ Matter enough, Mr. Skinflint. \ou have
attached Mr. Jones’ geese, havn’t you ?”_
“ Sartin; but that aint ugin the law, is it?”
“ Against the law ! Why sir, you have
subjected yourself to heavy damages for the
false imprisonment of those geese. Areyou
not aware sir, that they are exempt from at
tachment ?” . . ,
“ Dew tell! now you’re joking ’Squire.
I’ve read the Statute Book purty snug, and
I liaint found that ’ere.”
“ Statute Book, Mr. Skinflint! W liy, sir,
it’s common law !”
“ Wall, now, you know, of course, Squire,
and I’ll send llie critturs back. But just tell
me how long it’s been common law ?”
“ Why ever since the cackling ofgeese saved
Rome. The Romans then passed an act
that they should lie sacred from legal pro
cess, and they called it common law to dis
tinguish it from their other statutes, which
were very uncommon ones.”
“I’m satisfied, ’Squire. You’ll never
catch me in this scrape again. As L said
afore, the critturs shall go back.”
And so they did.
This is no fiction, but a fact with llie ex
ception of names.
A great Erent down East. — I lie Portland
Bulletin says, a friend of ours has been ex- j
citing our risibilities by relating a circum- i
stance, which took place on the railroad, as i
llie cars were coming in the other afternoon, j
While the fire steed was putting in his pret- ‘
tiest licks, shooting along the tr-ck like a ;
meteor the engineer discovered far ahead n
man swaying to and fro a large stick, as if
making signs. Supposing that some acci
dent might have happened to the rails, or
that some impediment miglitj he in the way,
he prudently shut off the steam, and put on
all force to check the progress of the cars,
so that they came to a dead halt on ai riving
at the spot where the man stood.
‘ What is the matter ?’ inquited the con
ductor.
* Matter!’ thundered the chap, blandish
ing liis stick on high in token of defiance ;
• I’ve fought your lions, your tigers, and
your wild roaring bulls of Baslian, and do
you think I’m afraid of ad and old cook
stove on wheels !’
It turned out that the fellow was crazy,
and that lie had escaped from a neighboring
house vvheie he had been confined.
An able-bodied Seaman. —A good story is
told by the Baltimore Republican, abort a
stout athletic lump of a chap, wlm during
lhe last war, enlisted on board of one of
our men-of-war, as an able-bodied seaman.
The fellow was duly entered on the ship’s
book and was soon at sea. 1 lie first rough
weather that came, lie was ordered aloft,
with the usual accompaniment of “ hurry,”
hut lie didn’t happen to be in a particular
Inn rv at that particular time. He looked
, ..i.... .; 1,;.. ..Lmililci s, uml coolly an
swered (lie order ot the officer by saying,
“ Mister, I shan’t go up thar !” “ Not go up,
you rascal ?” “No, sir; I’m d—d if I’m
going up thar to have my head broke with
them conffutements that’s knockin’ and
swingin’ about, at least until every thing is
quiet.” “ Why you lubberly scoiindiel,
didn’t you ship for an able-bodied seaman?”
“Yes, I did, and 1 am an able-bodied
seaman !” “ You are, are you ; tell tne
what you mean by saving you are an able
bodied seaman,” said llie officer in a rage.
“ Why, 1 mean,” says Bob, “I can whip
any man on hoard !” This was too much
for the officer, and too good to keep. He
related it to the captain, and the way there
cruiting officer was quizzed duiing the
cruise, was fun all found. Boh, however,
became no able-bodied seaman, in fact; and
proved it by whipping the whole ship’s crew
at Martinique.
A quark’s Expedient. —A quack doctor
was called in to see a sick child. He looked
at tlie patient, felt his pulse, shook liis head,
hemmed thrice, and took a seat, rose again,
hemmed, shook his noddle ominously, felt
the patient’s pulse, and cast his eye upon the
patient.
‘ What ails my child ?’ asked lhe father.
‘ I don’t know,’ replied saddle-bags.
‘ Can you do nothing for him V breathed
the anxious sire.
‘Nothing,’ was the response: ‘but,’added
the distiller of roots and yarhs, ‘ I have some
medicine with me that will throw him into
fits, and then I can cure him, for I’m a per
fect tiger on fits!’
Pungent Retort. —The devil has taken
the benefit ofthe Bankrupt Law, and turn
ed his assets over to the Methodist Church,”
remarked a gentleman a day or two since
to a lady—he having reference to the reli
giousexcitement now prevailing in Memphis.
“ His satanic majesty has then perjured him
self, sir, by not giving a full inventory of
liis property.” “ How, madam ?” asked
the gentleman. “ Why he has not given
you up, sir,” was the lady’s pungent and
wutty sally. —Fori Pickering Eagle.
Quaker Wit. —A pretty young upstart,
while riding in the stage, was attempting to
ridicule the Bible; and rudely accosting arr
aged Quaker at liis side, on the great im
probability that the stone from David’s sling
should have killed Goliali—said to him,
“ What do you think about it, old daddy ?”
“ I think, friend,” replied the Quaker, “that
David would have found no difficulty at all
in killing Goliali, if liis head was as soft as
thine.”
Honest. —A village dentist advertises, that
“ no pains will ho spared in liis operation,”
to render satisfaction. Very likely.
Outrageous. —A genteelly dressed young
man, about twenty-five years of age walked
into our editorial morn ori Thursday last,
and deliberately drew a dagger upon a
piece of paper !
A cohhler in Dauphin street, Mobile, who
also professes to teach music, has the fol
lowing sign over liis door :
Delightful task to mend the tender boot.
And leach the young idea how to flute.
©KD©a M fa L o
For the “ Southern Miscellany.”
THE PHILOSOPHY OF THE OM
NIBUS.
“Plenty of room, gentlemen,” says the
Driver, and if there is no room he’ll make
it. Compression is one principle in the phj.
losopby of the omnibus, and it is curious to
study the animal flexibility of man, when he
takes his seat within the sphere of its appij.
cation. This indeed, is one of the sources
of his greatness in modern times, he humbles
himself that he may be exalted ; he suffers
himself to be squeezed out of all shape of
humanity in order that he may get on in the
world. Shall it be a subject of wonder if
be may not so easily resume his oiiginal
shape, after leaving the vehicle in which he
is so well satisfied to ride.
The omnibus is of modern invention.
The ancients knew nothing of the omnibus I
They were os ignorant of its mighty motion
ns of the wotlo’s, ruTd for lids reason alone
if for none other, it must be a subject of no
sniail regret that they lived at so piematuie
a period. They came into the world when
it was young, and went out of it ere it gtew
old. We cun only lament their ignonuue
for their own sakes—it is too late to st ok to
repair it- and our onn joys must 1c s< no
thing emb ttered by the reflection that our
ancestors lu.d so few. They certainly lack
ed the crowning one of till—they knew noth
ing of the omnibus. And yet to hear them
speak, one would imagine they knew every
thing ; they certainly had some notion of this
sort themselves, since we find these great
men crying for new dishes, and other worlds
| foi conquest.
Years, ages, succeeded the antediluvian,
j and iu all that time the omnibus remained
! unknown. Strange that life should have
| been desirable on such terms. But it was
i nut desirable —and hence their murdeiin.s
wars, and the pet feet carelessness with which
they suffered their neighbors to till them of
it. How poor were all its possessions, how
precarious its conquests. It may he remark
ed in this place that the Hamnbals, and the
Caesurs, tlie Alexanders and the “Antony's,
never ceased to conquer until they grew tir
ed of it. \\ liercfoie should they conquer
—what could they secure by it ? Could
they have dreamed of the luxury of three
miles t ide fur a shilling in our own times,
Caesar had not been enslaved by Cleopatra,
Alexander by the joint force of Bacchus and
Venus, and the fccytliiuns must have I ten
overcome. The Persian race must have
been improved by the intioducl oii of the
macedutiiaii powers, and ten to one that Mo
homed would have been a camel driver t
this day. The Era of the omnibus is not
that of ambition, ltsconceptiou would nev
er have entered the heads of men during a
| period ot war —it rcquiicd for itsdiscoveiy
| anew condition of things, anew older of
! events, anew class oi men ; pursuits differ-
I ing utterly fioin those existing in Roman
j and Gieetan days were essentially necessary
j to lhe invention ot the omnibus. The Kc
-1 n.ui., U'ii> in muoy t1.11.g-, olid dlllit)i> i||
j all,could never have achieved it—their indi
vidual character is a conclusive argument
against the possibility of their ever dream
mg of such u thing as a vehicle carryinu
twenty-four sleek and civil citizens! B<£
sides they would have been shocked to have
prostituted that noble animal, the horse, to
such degraded purpose; lie w as too necessa
ry to the wattmr, and the warrior invents
nothing hut that which may destroy. A so
! rial ci a was necessary to the cieation of the
omnibus, and the popular mind set felled by
! wars, required it at the hands of their chil
, dieti ; the chariot of the* ancient games, or
j of ancient w arfare, driven and maintained
j by a single, or by not more than two, gui
ded in ail directions w as, any thing buqsocial
iin its character. Destruction was the stri
king feature ot such a period, and the build
i of the omnibus demands the opposite devel-
I opment.
1 he omnibus therefore indicates an era!
Who can question this truth ? Not the phi
losopher—not he, looking through the sur
face beyond effects, and up to causes, may
trace, the nature, the character and the
claims of a people in their domestic habits
and exercises. Let us look at causes.
The omnibus could never have been
known to the ancients. It was tiie fruit of a
philosophy warring widi,and in the very teeth
of, theirs, it could only be the creature —
not of a general equality in the people, but
of a general passion-for equality —of a time
of increasing accommodativeness in the pop
ular spirit—of a diffusion of hoarded w ealth
—of a long repose from war—of a mercan
tile and money-loving condition of things.
Hannibal would have disdained it, unless
mounted on the back of bis elephant. The
Greek is too much the individual—he goes
too much on his own account, and is in a
blessed state of ignorance on the subject of
joint stock companies. Persuade him to en
ter with the rest!
i be omnibus suits another order of peo
ple—it is Yankee all over; as Capt. Wiltber
ger of tlie “ Pulaski” can testify ; it accom
modates him who, however selfish he may
be iu other tespects, is never willing to be
alone, in fact it suits no body half so well.
Give the Yankee (and Savannah has her
share of them) his omnibus, and the comets,
of Jupiter have no terrors—the world all
goes right. The omnibus administers equal
ly to all classes, and, as if more fully to il
lustrate the republicanism of tlie thing, the
littlo urchin who receives the six pence at
the door, is without doubt, the most impor
tant personage of the company. The om
nibus is very unlike many of our northern
friends—it has no prejudices, no partialities,
(save the color of the skin) to manifest.—
The coxcomb takes bis seat beside the black
smith, and dare not complain, if his white
inexpressibles win some unusual hues from
the fellowship of his sooty neighbor, and the
statesman and politician is “hale fellow well
met” with the greasy citizen who votes
against him. This is the leveling of demo
cratic omnibu—thiss was not the case of
yore. The horse then was a decided aris
tocrat and wore no burthen that was not
strictly acceptable to society.. No wonder
the horse is proud, fur he had the pay of a
soldier in times past, and. was far more hon
ored for his service. So too, the dog, be
had his pay for military service, agreeably to
the same standard in the days of chivalry*