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Stgrirnltm?, 3Hnmtfnrfurra, fs. Madame Beafelt’s System of Washing Made Easy. Madame B. need not enter into a long disser tation on the troubles of Washing Day. These are already too well known. Her object is to impart information that will obviate all these troubles, and render Washing Day as pleasant as any of the seven, and at the same time, save labor , wear of clothes, tearing off buttons, skinning of hands, the cost of wash-boards, machines, pounding barrels, Ac. Directions. —Put your clothes in soak in soft water, (just enough to cover them,) the night be fore you wish to wash. If a few quarts of strong soapsuds are added, so much the better. Should the wristbands or binding of the shirts be very dirty rub on such spots a little soap, before putting in soak. THIS IS ALL THE RUBBING about the whole washing. After the putting the clothes in soak, take three ounces of fresh unslacked lime, half a pound of common soda, and half a pound of good soap, (cut the soap in small pieces,) or half a pint of strong home-made soap, in a vessel by them selves and pour on them one gallon of boiling soft water ; shake them up and stir them well , and let all stand till morning, when you must take this liquor and strain it, being very careful not to have the least particle of settlings poured off with the liquor. — When you get ready to wash, have ten gallons of boiling soft water in your kettle or boiler, into which pour the liquor made from the soap, lime and soda, (keep out the settlings,) and place an earthern plate at the bottom of the boiler to keep the clothes from burning. (Some persons also enclose their finest linens and cottons in a bag before placing in the boiler; Mrs, B. considers this a good plan.) First rinse them in warm water. Then put your clothes into the boiler and boil them half an hour. (I he same water will answer for three lots ot clothes.) — Then take them out, and scald them, blue them, and rinse in clean soft water, warm or cold, and your clothes will be as clean and white as driven snow, and all without rubbing or machinery. By this plan the finest linens, laces, cambrics, Ac, can be readily and easily cleansed. W oolens are not to be washed by this method. Madam B. can safely assert that her plan is th .3 best and easiest mode of washing ever discovered. By it one person can do the washing of a family of twenty persons before breakfast, have the clothes out and dry, and the house kept in good order, and the gentlemen of the family, as well as all about the house, free from washing day annoyances. Should the clothes to be washed require more or less than ten gallons of water to boil them in, more or less soap, lime or soda, can be used in proportion. When there is any difficulty in procuring fresh lime, a liquor cau be made from it which will keep for years, if corked up, and always will be ready for use. Madame B. would advise her patrons to divide their clothes into two or lftore parcels before boiling, as the coarsest, dirtiest and most greasy ones ought not to be boiled with those of finer fabric containing less dirt, as the water in which they are boiled must of course partake more or less of its contents. The finer, cleaner clothes can be boiled first, or the water for boiling the clothes in, (containing the liquor of soap, lime and soda) can be divided into as many parts as you have parcels of clothes, and thus boil each parcel in its proper time. When put in soak before washing, the clothes should be separated. To wash Calicoes or Cotton Printed Goods. — Take a pint bowl of wheat flour and make it into a paste with cold water, then pour this paste into two gallons of boiling soft water and boil for ten minutes. Then add enough cold water to make it cold enough to admit the hand, and in this water, wash the calicoes without soap. After this washing, rinse the clothes in clear cold water, and if stiffness is re quired, add to the rinsing water a little flour starch made as above. By this system <jf washing, cali coes seldom or ever fade. The quicker calicoes are washed, rinsed and dried the better. They should be dried in the shade if possible. BeeFs gall mixed with the wash water improves the colors. STARCHING CLEAR STARCHING, ETC. To make Starch for Linen , Cotton , <L’c. —To one ounce of the best starch add just enough of soft, cold water to make it, (by rubbing and stirring,) in to a thick paste, carefully breaking all the lumps and particles. When rubbed perfectly smooth, add nearly, or quite, a pint of boiling water, (with blu ing to suit the taste,) and boil for at least half an hour , taking care to keep it well stirred all the time to prevent its burning. When not stirring, keep it covered to prevent the accumulation of dust, Ac. Also keep it covered when removed from the fire to prevent a scum from rising on it. To give the linen a fine, smooth, glossy appearance, and prevent the iron from sticking, add a little spermaceti, (a piece as large as a nutmeg,) to the st arch when boiling, and half a teaspftonful of the finest table salt. If you have no spermaceti, (to Ire had cheap of any druggist,) take a piece of the purest, whitest hog’s lard or tallow, (mutton fs the best,) about as large as a nutmeg, or twice this quantity of the best re fined loaf sugar, and boil with the starch. In iron ing linen collars, shirt bosoms, Ac., their appearance will be much improved by rubbing them, before ironing, with a clean white towel damped in soft water. The bosom of a shirt should be the last part ironed, as this will prevent its being soiled.— All starch should be strained before using. To Clear Starch Laces Ac. —Starch for laces should be thicker and used hotter than for linens. After your laces have been well washed and dried, dip them into the thick hot starch in such a way as to have every part properly starched. Then wring all the starch out of them and spread them out smooth on a piece of linen, and roll them up together and let them remain for about half an hour, when they will be dry enough to iron. Laces should never be clapped between the hands, as it in jures them. Cambrics do not require so thick starch as net or lace. Some people prefer cold or raw starch for book muslin, as some of this kind of mus lin has a thick clammy appearance if starched in boiled starch. Fine laces are sometimes wound round a glass bottle to dry, which prevents them from shrinking. Ironing Laces. —Ordinary laces and worked mus lin can be ironed by the usual process of a smooth ing or sad iron. Finer laces cannot. M. Beavelt irons fine laces thus: —When her lace has been starched and dried ready for ironing, she spreads it out smooth as possible on her ironing cloth, and passes over it back and forth as quickly as she can a smooth round glass bottle containing hot water, giving the bottle such pressure as may be required to smooth the lace. Sometimes she passes the laces over the bottle, taking care to keep it smooth.— Either way is much better than to iron laces with an iron. In filling the bottle with hot water care must be taken not to pour it in too fast, as the bot tle will break. To Clean Kid Gloves. —Lay the gloves on a clean towel, and rub them with a piece of w hite flannel dipped in a strong lather of suds made of white soap, till the dirt is removed. The less water the better, and the faster they are rubbed the better. Hang them up at a distance from the fire to dry, and when dried pull out the wrinkles and stretch them on the hand. If you have eamphene or spirit gas, (burning fluid,) rub them with a cotton cloth dipped in either, and dry as above. To take out the scent of the eamphene, take the gloves w hen dried and stretched, and roll them up in a cloth or handkerchief on which you have dropped a few drops of cologne water or other perfumery. Grease Sjx>ts on Woolen Cloth, Silk, Linen or Cotton , —may be removed by rubbing on the spot a little moistened magnesia, and when dry brush it off. Another method is to wash and peal oft the skin of a potato and cut it in slices and rub the spot with one or more slices till cleansed. Paint may be removed by rubbing with woolen rags dipped in turpentine, and afterwards in strong soap sucls. Ink Stains can be removed by salts of lemon, Iron Moulds by the same. To Wash and Clean Silk Dresses , Ac., Ac.—Ma ny persons suppose that silk cannot be washed, and under this impression have lain aside or given away such dresses as nearly worthless. Silk can be washed w ithout injury by Madame Beavelt’s system. To succeed best it may be necessary to take the dress to pieces, or partly so if very full. The silk should be laid on a perfectly smooth board, and rubbed one way with a piece of fine flannel well soaped with pure soap, and wet in soft, milkwarm water, rub in this way till the dirt is removed, then take a sponge wetted in cold water, (whiskey or al cohol is better,) and rub oft’ all the soap or suds left on the silk. After thus cleaning one side, turn the silk and clean the other side. The finest silk and silk ribbons may thus be made as clean as new. — Silk stockings may be washed in a w eak soap suds and dried by rubbing them with dry flannel, or ironed with a warm, (not hot,) iron, placing a blan ket between the stocking and the iron. Silks should never be wrung after washing, but hung up to dry in the air in the shade , or hung on a horse within door. The sun will fade the colors. A hot iron should never be used on” silks —one just warm may be used. Black silk is often cleaned by being rub bed as above in beef’s gall water and cleaned off with the sponge. Silk can be dried by stretching out smooth with pins. The quicker silk is cleaned and dried the better. Black Lace Veils are cleaned by passing them through warm gall (beef’s) water and rinsing in cold water, and dried on a frame or by pinning out. Cashmere Shawls and Merinoes may be cleaned by passing them through cold water having in it a suds made of soap and alcohol and purified ox gall, and rinsed in alum water, and dried, on frames, or pinned out. Stains from Fruit, Ac., may be removed by rub bing on spirits of ammonia. If the stains are quite recent they yiay be removed by soap and whiting mixed together, and then bleached. Sour butter milk often removes such stains.. If the stains are old, rub each side with hard soap, then put on a thick cold w ater starch, and rub it well in, and ex pose to the sun and air for three or four days. To remove Mildew from Linen. —Moisten a piece of hard soap and rub on the parts affected. Then rub over the spots with whiting, lay it on the grass to dry and bleach, and as it becomes dry moisten it a few times. To raise the Pile of Velvet when pressed down. — Warm a smoothing iron moderately and cover it with a wet cloth, and lay it or hold it under the velvet on the wrong side, the steam from this will penetrate the velvet and you can raise the pile with a eomon broom brush and make it appear as good as new\ To clean Silks, Stuffs, Merinoes, Printed Cottons, Chintses, dr., by the use of Potatoes without inju ring the colors. —Grate raw potatoes washed and peeled, to a fine pulp, add water in the proportion of a pint to a pound of potatoes, pass the liquid through aseiveinto a vessel where it is to remain until the fine white starch subsides to the bottom. Pour oft’ the clear liquor, which is to be used for cleaning. To perform this proces spread the arti cle to be cleaned on a table covered with a linen cloth, dip a sponge into the potato liquor and rub on the cloth until the dirt is removed, then wash the cloth in clear water a few times.” Prices for Washing Articles in Mew York. Hard Soap, per lb. 5 to 5 1-2. Retail 7to 8 cts. Sal Soda, per lb. - 1 1-2 to 2c. Retail 3 to 4 cts. Lime, per lb. - - 1 cent. Retail 2 cents Starch, per lb. - - 6to 7 1 2c. Retail, 9to 12cts. From the Louisiana Republican. Green Timber, Green Timber cut in mid winter is perferable to seasoned for fence or gate posts. In the spring of 1837, requiring four gate posts to renew two gate ways, I advised with older heads as to the best kind to be selected; one preferred seasoned chesnut, another green white oak; I selected two of each de scription. The chesnut had been cut tw o years, but very sound and firm. The white oak cut green, but before planting the latter, I charred or burnt the part to be placed in the ground quite through the bark and sap-wood. I was obliged to renew’ the chesnut posts in the spring of 1848. The white oaks are still standing as fine apparently as the day they were planted. To such of my “fellow-tillers” who take a good “long spell” between the time of putting up a straight fence and seeing it fall down, or those hav ing but little timber to spare and less means to con vert it into expensive post and rail fence, I will en deavor to describe one that any “tiller” can con struct, answering every purpose, where a straight fence is desired. Cut a piece of timber, three feet long, from any rough, knotty, or crooked log, either the taunt or large limbs of a tree w ill do any thing that will not answer for plank, rails or any other purpose but the wood pile ; it may be either round or square, a half or quarter part of a log, according to the size of the timber, so that the sill or piece may be about the weight a man can easily shoulder, Lay the sill, with its flat side on the ground; then, after finding out its centre from end to end, bore with a two and a half inch auger two holes through the side, each three inches from the centre ; that is, one hole to the right and the other to the left of the centre: now prepare and insert tight in the holes two straight upright pieces, the size of a small rail, five and a half feet long, and cap them; let the top ends of the uprights be the same distance apart as where they were inserted in the sills. Round pieces, from thirteen to ssxteen inches in circumference and eighteen inches long, split in half, make the caps, although a two inch board or block answers very well; the holes in the caps bored w ith a two inch augur; place the caps so far down on the upright pieces that their ends may show eight inches above the caps. This work finishes the post. When the number required are completed, pro ceed to place them in a straight line for the rails to be passed between the upright pieces, and continue one course of rails after another, similar to laying the old-time worm fence, uutil the space from the sills to the caps is closed, reserving the heaviest rails for top logs or riders, the top ends of the uprights thus substituting stakes, and the weight of the rails keeping the caps in their places. Two flat stones placed under each end of the sill, so as to keep it from the ground, will preserve it many years longer from decay. Sills may be used for any description of post fence or paling where a single post is re quired. Thus, mortice a hole four inches by five in the sill, to suit the post. Any timber may be used, but chesuut is greatly preferable when it can be had. I have a fence of this description, the rails of ches nut, which was put up ten years ago, they are all sound, and this fence has never been in the least displaced by the wind, although it stands on a north-1 west exposure, and some old “tillers” tell me it is * ft x © m ft i jl emziß. good for twenty years longer. Should such prove to be the case, thirty years is a “long spell’’ between “building up and pulling down’’ of fences. Cure fora Ring Wolm. —John S. Skinner, the editor of the Plough, the Loom and the Anvil, furn ishes the following recipe, which he says is infallible, for the cure of ring-worms: Heat a shovel to a bright red —cover it with grains of Indian corn —press them with a cold flat iron. They will burn to a coal and exude an oil on the surface of the flat-iron, with which rub the ring worm, and one or two applications it w ill be kilt as’ dead as Julius Caesar. Butter.—This is an article of domestic food, more of which is consumed in the United States than in any coun try on the face of the globe. Good sweet butter, how deli cious ! It very often happens among families in our cities that they will purchase good sweet butter at the stores, which in a day or two becomes vitiated in taste. This is owing either to the manner in which it is salted or packed, or the manner in which it is kept after it is purchased. Much but ter is spoiled from using salt containing lime and other sub stances which hasten its decomposition. Salt can easily be purified by pouring upon it a little warm water and allowing it to drain; it dissolves and takes out the lime and other extraneous substances, and leaves the salt nearly pure. The quantity usually added to butter is one ounce to the pound. After butter has become rancid, it can be restored and made nearly sweet by a very simple process. This after pressing out the water, salt it anew- and add a little sugar—say half an ounce to the pound. This will be found to render it much more palatable, although it may not entirely restore that deli cate flavor peculiar to new and sweet butter, which once lost can never be restored. Butter should be kept in a cool, airy,dry place.— Scientific American. ■mmiiw—acoM Ease to People who are Troubled with Asthma.—An individual who has suffered much from Asthma, and who has in vain sought relief from regular physicians, wishes us to give publicity to the following remedy : “Procure common blotting paper, and thoroughly saturate it in a solution of nitre, (saltpetre,) and let it be carefully dried by the fire, or exposure to the rays of the sun. On retiring at night, ignite it, and deposit it, burning on a plate or square of sheet zinc or iron in your bed room.”— Scientific Am. Mineral Riches of Southern Illinois.—The Morgan county Journal says that thelitttle county of Harden contains iron ore enough to build the Pacific Rail Road fifty times over ; and the adjoining counties of Gallatin and Salina could furn ish the State with coal for a thousand years. Pope county has mines of iron which are of a kind easily prepared for the furnace, being the brown haematite. Harden county is also rich in solid bodies of lead ore, which is almost pure galena. Zinc is also found in great quantities in this same region, and frequently in the same mine with the lead. The ore is that called zinc blend-—being a sulphuret of zinc. (TV Ukinonot. “Let dimpled mirth his temples twine, With tendrils of the laughing vine.” Don’t be Discouraged. Not far distant from a place called Deer Isle— wlio knows where that is? Well, it is “Down Fast,’’ and just on the eastern confines of the far famed place. By some, is supposed to, be thick settled, while others entertain doubts of the fact. But to the story, as that may give a more defi nite clue to the place referred to. It was a fine and remarkably pleasant Sabbath in June; a day always devoted, by the good people of the place, to public worship, though never of an inferior kind. At this season of the year, nature iu those parts never fails to clothe herself in her richest mantles of verdure, presenting a grandeur in appearance which ever inspires the soul with gladness. All animatod creation partakes of the enlivening charms, and joy ously rehearses its songs of praise. The inhabitants, on this particular Sunday, were blessed with a duplicate of ministers; and as a matter not to be questioned, the good people of the place repaired to their houses made for public worship, where they listened with profound attention to an able sermon delivered by one of the divines, Mr. 18 , who graciously finished the services of the morning, and with much solemnity dismissed the congregation who thereupon turned their faces to the door, and commenced, with all due decorum, marching out of the church—all save and except one little hunched up, half-washed old woman, and withal somewhat noted for subtilty and inquisitiveness. She began wending her way to and fro up the aisle, and against the current that was setting “right out o’ the house,’’ till she met the good parson above alluded to —a description of whom may be made in a summary manner, by saying ho is a man of peculiar modesty —kind, gentle, and affectionate ; lie never knew but one path, and that was always right; and never cherished any other than the kindest feelings to wards his fellow men. He is emphatically a good man. And here, while slowly tracing his steps along the aisle with his companion, he was seized by the arm, by this venerable daughter of Eve, with an affectionate grasp of both hands, and looking him earnestly in the face, she exclaimed — ‘What little arm ew lias got! ’ The astonishment of the parson commenced. As might well be supposed, this singular personage presented rather a ludicrous appearance at this mo ment, a slight description of whom may not be amiss here, as she stood peering with a dim eye from under a dirty, brown, and antiquated bonnet, wofully collapsed by reason of having forced its pas sage through a crowd ; the other eye was nearly hid by si hoary tress which had strolled carelessly over it. Her face was deeply furrowed, and plain ly bespoke the lapse of many score years, and her jaws were prominent from which the last generation of teeth had long since, departed. In this attitude, with her first affectionate grasp still good, she seri ously commenced interrogating the modest stranger parson, as follows : ‘Has ew got a wife ? ’ ‘Yes,’ was the prompt reply of the minister, one cheek blushing. ‘Then ew is a married man ? ’ Mr. S , still fast, made a similar response— both cheeks now blushing crimson. ‘Has ew got any children ? ’ ‘No, madam,’ was the honest answer, the blush still spreading from ear to ear. ‘How long has ew been married ? ’ ‘About three years,’ was the grave reply, the crimson now giving place to a variety of colors, tints, and hues. “ Well, dear, don’t be discouraged; I’s married longer than that ’fore I had any, and now I’s got fourteen ! ’ • The parson sighed desperately, while the variety of colors streamed and flashed across his counte nance with the rapidity of the aurora borealis. He mysteriously detached himself, though he never knew how, from his adhesive old friend, and left at his earliest convenience, llis companion, all the while standing in the rear was nearly all split to pieces. A contributor to the‘Literary Gazette,’ furnishes a visible fact’ and ‘a reflection thereon.’ A baker's boy, of ten years old, Fancying himself a man, A milkmaid met of the same age, A-carrying a can. He threw his arms about her neck, And kiss'd her, soft as silk. I cried, “how strong thou art, Even on Bread and Milk !” Why is a carriage full of ladies like a certain State ? Be cause it has a she cargo. (Chicago.) Children will Talk. —We heard a very amu sing anecdote related, a few days since, of a gentle man possessed of a somewhat prominent proboscis being invited out to take tea with a handsome young widow, having a small incumbrance of about forty thousand dollars and a beautiful and interest ing little daughter of about five years of age. The little girl, (whom we shall take the liberty of calling Mary,) although much beloved by all* who knew her; had the habit of speaking loud in company and commenting on each and every peculiarity that any of her mamma’s guests might have; and the charm ing widow, knowing this fact, took little Mary one side on the afternoon in question and gave her a lesson, somewhat in the following manner. Mary, dear, I have invited a very particular friend of mine to come and take tea with me this evening, and as he has rather a long nose, I wish to warn you against speaking of it in his presence. — lie is the most sensitive upon that point of all sub jects; therefore it you allude to it in his presence, you shall most assuredly be severely reprimanded; but, on the other hand if you will sit up in your little chair and be a lady, you shall have that beau tiful frosted cake I purchased of the baker this morning. Little Mary made the requisite promises and was amusing herself with her abundant supply of play things, when the long-nosed friend arrived. The compliments of the day having been exchanged, and the usual topics of the day fully discussed, the widow, with one of her blandest smiles, invited Mi- into the adjoining room to partake of the choicest danties of the season, with which the table was bountiifully supplied. As they wery passing out of the room, leaving lit tle Mary to amuse herself as best she could, the little cherub hastily intercepted them at the door, and archly looking up into the speaking and animated countenance of her mother, exclaimed— ‘Mother, dear, aint it most time for me to have my nice frosted cake for not saying anything about this gentleman's long nose /’ The widow fainted, and the long-nosed gentle man is still a bachelor. “City Dandified Men.’* BY 11. D. K. ’Twas a beautiful spot where the vine-covered cot of the mountaineer stood in the edge of the wood. There the forest birds’ song echoed all the day long and the mountain stream played in the edge of the shade; where the graceful young fawn cropped the herbage at dawn from the wide-spreading lawn;’twas a beautiful spot —’twas a beautiful cot; and surely there ne’er was a maiden more rare than the maid who dwelt there. Shall I picture this maid of the greenwood and glade ? She was neither too tall, nor too short, nor too small, nor so light nor so airy, as the form of a fairy. But the pride of the glade was the rosy-cheeked maid, with eyes quite ns blue as the summer sky’s hue, and the tresses of brown floating gracefully down, and nestling below on a bosom of snow. She could warble and sing like the songsters of spring; she could spin and could sweep, could mow and could reap —could ride the good steed at the top of his speed, and sported a trifle with her father’s rifle. And this bouncing young maid of the evergreen shade was as chaste and refined, and had such a mind as you seldom will find among the young maids of haughtier grades. A lover she had, who would have been glad to capture her heart by his scheming and art. 6’ Han dy, his name a dandy by fame, who, though wrink led and parched, was whisker’d and starched, and displayed quite a rare and citified air. \\ ell, he knelt at her feet and began to entreat, while his great bosom, boat with unmerciful heat; and he told such a tale as he deemed would not fail to make her believe that he would not deceive.— While he thus knelt pleading, while thus interce ding, he thought by her smiling that the words were beguiling. But he found the conclusion a hopeless | delusion; for that maid was unlinking his scheming —was thinking, and she thought in a twinkling, she’d j give him a sprinkling of the well-peppered ointment |of black disappointment. Ere he drew to a close i she turned up her nose as you may suppose, just as j high as she chose; and scorning his prose, through i his pleading she broke, and thus’twas she spoke: “Oh! great is your fame; O'l Tandy your name — from the city you came with your heart all aflame; and you thought in the shade of a mountain or glade, to capture a maid by pomp and parade. Oh ! save all your tears, your hopes and your fears, your “ducks” and your “dears” for some other ears. All men are agreed you’re a nice bird indeed; but your figure’s too lean, you’re too gaunt and too green; and this is not all, you’re excessively tall; your nose is too big—you’ve a voice like a pig, while you wear a huge wig, and your upper lip seems just the shade of your dreams. Now* my answer you know —there’s the door, you can go*!” Still he lingered to plead his love and his need — and he boasted and told of his titles and gold—of her station in life, whom he chose for a wife. But he j found’twas no part of this country g’hal’s heart, to | bear insult and wrong from an eye or a tongue’— I That maid could not brook such a word and such ! look, and she caught down a broom that hung in the room, and she hit him a blow that made the blood flow not gracefully slow. He lit on all fours, just out of the door all covered with gore. Then he sprang to his feet, and considered it sweet and exceed ingly meet to boat a retreat, to cover defeat, and he fled from the place in shame and disgrace—dis appeared o’er the green and was never more seen — and ever since then, city-dandified men have learn ed though they’ve got the “/u/s,” they can never get g’lials who have more sound sense than they have pounds or pence. Cure ok Vanity.— We had boon busy during the day running aline through a dense piece of wood-land. The old woman gazed on us for some time in silence. We all saw she wanted to enter into conversation ; and none, with the exception of myself, wished to gratify her. I soon com menced a dialogue on various subjects and things, and, as a matter of course, I put my best leg forward. Struck with mylanguge, she exclaimed, in a tone quite flattering to my vanity— I “La, how larned you are.” But the compliment received a death blow. “If I was as high larned a scholar as you,” continued she, “I'd quit ingineerin’ and go keeping a little grocery.”—Western Paper. We are far from being fond of those children vulgarly called “phenomena,” of whatever nature their celebrity may be. But wo love above all things, those sparkling and bright naivetes , those charming little childish a-propos , so full of truth, of grace and freshness. Thus, the other day, Mr. M. had invited his doctor to dine. As dinner was being served, a beautiful little blue-eyed girl exclaimed : “Oh ! I am so glad when you come to dinner, doctor ! ” “ You are very fond of me, then, my child ? ” inquired the doctor. “Oh 1 no ; but we always have pie when you come. From the Spirit of the Times. Honors Extraordinary.—At ameetin of cullud pussuns held atMistur Coxes Selek Coatery, it was resolbed, upon do moshun of Mistur Bam Jonsin, dat — Whereas, neberdelees, and in considerashun ob de mentle and fizikel altitude of Master John Van Buren, and for de support lent by him to de cause of sufferin brack humanity, dat ho he hereafter known to our ancesta and posterity, bose in by-gone edges and futur ginemslmns as “POMLEWS BILLER,” and may his shadder nebber he nothin shorter. And also, on de moshun ob Miss Philisee Cruk shin, it was resolbed, dat— * Miss Abby Kelly, for her lub ob our culler, ana her determinashun to sow up the Southern Prints* shall in future hensforth figger in sakrid and pur fane cullud histery as CLEOPATRA S NEEDLE, and dat de female poslmm ob our community shall look up to her as dar universal mudder, Den it was finally resolbed, on de moshun ob Mistur Downin, dat — We consider Frederick Douglass, our great Pier of de Rclm, and to him we shall hitch de painter ot de ship of Libbertv, and dat we hereby nominate him for de “PRESIDENT OF DESK UNITED STATE” Aberlish papers please copv. POMPEY BLUBBERUP, Pres. Chloe Woolley, Secy. Married in Greenwich, Conn, by the Rev. Eliphalet Peck, Mr. David Peck to Miss Deborah Peck. Three Pecks we find have begun, To make two different Pecks but one; But vain their labors we shall see, For let them pass of months a score, Three Peeks will he increased to four, And then a bushel there will be. “Wliat’s the matter, Bill ?” “Mammy has fell up stairs and stuck a knot hole in her hand,and John won’t go for a boot-jack to pull it out. — Where’s the poteeary’s.” Exit Bill, hollering fire! ADVERTISING I fas enlarged many a small business; Has Revived many a dull business; Has saved many a lost business; • - lias preserved many a large business; lias created many anew business. ADVERTISE Yotir new wares that you may get a fair profit; Your old wares that you may get some profit; Your bad wares that you may not lose them. f The annual cigar manufacture of Havana is estimated at six hundred millions, giving employment in its various bran ches to fully 10,000 people, the value of whose labor is not less than $4,000,000. A deaf and dumb couple were married at Pittsburg lately. The ceremony-was performed by writing. They are said to be wealthy, and highly respectable. There is u<> danger of the lady being a “scolding wife.” Why is Sunday the strongest day ? Because all the other days are week days. Time is almost the only thing of which it is a,virtue to be covetous. The greatest trial of patience is looking for your - nightcap after you have put the candle out. To dream that your nose is red at the tip, is an intimation that you had better leave oflfbrandy and water. “You've robbed me of my dew,” as the passion-flower said to the sun. “ i Keep your temper, let what will happen; for if you are vexed, you will have two troubles. Good nature;, like the bee, collects honey from every herb. 111-nature, like the spider, sucks poison from the sweetest flower. The best lip salve in creation, is a sweet kiss. The reme dy should be used with great care, however, as it is apt to bring on an affection of the heart. A contemporary, announcing the marriage of an editor, says he was always of the opinion that editors- had just as good a right to starve some man's daughter as any one else. Why is a hangman's trade like a vegetable ? Because it is the art-o’-choke. Despotic governments are like Kid school-masters, who care more to flog, than to teach their pupils. The son of a father who ill-uses the mother, is pretty sure to turn out an idler and a dunce in childhood, and a ruffian in manhood. Portraits in oil, of any size, are now taken by a photogra phic process, iu a sitting of half a minute. The process is called Photo-Prosopon. There never was known a poor man respected because he was poor. Someone calls the time of squeezing the girls’ hands “the palmy season of life.” “Why is a twice-paid debt like an unforgotten thing ? Be cause it is re-collect-ed. Some descendant of Solomon has wisely remarked, that those who go to law for damages are sure to get them. Somebody says that gold is necessary to any one who would make his way in the world. Some think that brass is quite as necessary as gold. Youth is a glorious invention. While the girls chase the j hours, and you chase the girls, the months seem to dance a way ‘with down upon their feet.’ What a pity our summer is so short, isn't it ? Before you know it, lovers become flea eons and romps grandmothers. Men brandy drink, and never think That girls at all can tell it; They don’t suppose a woman's nose Was ever made to smell it. Sonic girls think they blush when they only turn red.— They deceive themselves, however. What they often atiVi bute to modesty is nothing more than the product of imperti nence. A short man became attached to a very tall woman, and somebody said that he had fallen in love with her. “Do you call that falling in love ?” said au old bachelor : “It is more j like climbing up to it.'’ The most important characters that you will see now a days are little short fellows, about as broad as they are long, just beginning to pay attentiou to the girls. They absolutely for get that there is anybody in the world but themselves. Father Mathew was presented with seven hundred and fifty dollars, by a number of friends of temperance, in New Orleans, on the loth u’.t. in token of tlieir respect for the man and his cause. “Is that clock right over there ?” asked a man, as he stood gazing at the one in Brackett’s window. “Right over there ?” said a newsboy, “it ain't anywhere else 1” A false pass at the boy’s head with a large cane, immedi ately followed the boy's answer. Boy sloped. The following toast was given at the late Medical Supper at Columbus, Ohio: The Ladies— I The only successful Ilomoepathists. They cure man's greatest malady—of the heart—by a “leetle” of the same sort! To dream of walking barefooted denotes a journey that you will make bootless. It won't do to plunge into a law-suit, relying wholly upon the justice of your cause, and not equipped beforehand with a brimming purse. It won't do for a man to fancy a lady is in love with him because she treats him civilly, or that she has virtually enga ged herself to him because she lias always endured his com pany. “A Tennessean is a nobleman everywhere; but a ‘Tennes see Democrat’ is the son of Jackson and a brother of Polk !” The Albany Knickerbocker man “don’t like to see a young lady pounding upon an old piano in the parlor while her mother is washing down stairs, and her little brothers and sisters are running about with dirty faces and torn clothes.” An infidel remarked, within the hearing of a little girl of thirteen, that ali things came by chauec, and that the world like a mushroom sprang up in the night. “I should like to know, sir,” she asked, “where the seed came troin.’ We lately heard of a young man who commenced the study of botany, and pursued it with much enthusiasm until he dis covered that flowers liad pistils, when he abandoned it in dis gust, as being altogether incompatible with his non-resistant principles. Refined taste often makes us appear insensible, and want of refined taste often makes us enthusiastic. There are a great many kinds cf kisses in the world. First, there is the little pert one of affectation; then there is the pure and holy one of friendship, and the clammy one of “good bye;” but of all the kisses ever invented, give us the long and languishing one of youth and love—a kiss that not only adds wings to your heart, hut fiddle strings to your suspenders. As Dobbs very justly observes, ifany thing will make a maa feel like a bass viol, it is playing lips with the girl you love. “Halloa!” ejaculated an anxious guardian to his lovely niece, as ho entered the parlor and saw her on the sofa, in tha arms of a swain who had just popped the question, and seal ed it with a smack—“what's the time of day now 7” “J should think it was about lialf past twelve,” was the cool re ply; “you see we are almost one.” The person who persecutes ethers for opinion's sake, must certainly lack humility, as he does not admit that he may be mistaken. They say that‘self praise goes but little ways.’ Howls that? Surely if a man has the approbation of liis own heart, it ought to count for something. Marrying a woman for her beauty, says some modern Sen eca, is like eating a bird for its singing. The policy which strikes only while the iron is hot, will iff the end be exceeded by the perseverance which makes thv iron hot by striking. If the spring puts forth no blossoms, in summer there wilt be no beauty, and in autumn no fruit. So, if youth be triflei away without improvement, riper years will be contemptible, and old age miserable. Never undress yourself before bed-time. In other words t don't will away the property you own in this world till yutf are about taking up your residence in the next. Dutiful children are made by hope, not by possession. Often from our weakness our strongest principles of con duct are born; and from the acorn which the breeze has waft ed springs the oak which defies the storm. No wonder “Old Harvard” is famous for knowledge ! The reason is plain as the day; For the students all bring a little to College, And few carry any away. When we are done, we have our own thghts to watch , in our families, our tempers; and in society, our tongues. Every time a man breaks a divine law, he adds a thorn to the rod which he puts in pickle for his own back. Never give a boy a shilling to hold your shadow, while you climb a tree and look into the middle of next week—it is mon ey thrown away. “With knowledge sorrow increases,” as the chap said when he found out that he had drawn a blank in the lottery. Most mountains present their precipitous faces to the mu ; aud their slopes to the land. That man is a fool, who wastes his time in trying to lay salt J on the tail of to-morrow. Experience is a torchlight in the ashes of our illusions. There never was known a decent abolitionist who would sleep with a negro in his bed. The true reformer has quite as large a bump of Constrao tiveness, as of Destructiveness, and is ever as ready to build up as tear down. “Progressive democracy” is compared to an engine dri ving at the rate of thirty miles an hour, of a dark night, with out a lantern or a cow-catcher. A profusion of rings and jewelry upon the fingers and per* j son of a man, denotes either a blackleg, a loafer, or one wLoko ; brains are somewhat addled. j No man is so great, but he may both need the help and I service, and stand in fear of the power and utikindnew of the | meanest of mortals. The rays of happiness, like those of fight, are colorless when unbroken. * Me are rejoiced to see the ladies standing up for their rights by wearing standing up collars. The effect is pretty, republican, and very ominous of something. The latest way of popping the question we have heard of is, j to ask the fair lady, if you shall have the pleasure of seeing her at the niinEie. Every heart hiss its necropolis, filled with the gravestone# of the loved and unforgotten. Hie virtues of our deceased friends live continually in our memory, their error# and r ub have long since been forgiven, and even ceased to be reiueiu j bored. ’Ti* better to offend some people than to oblige them; for j the bettor a man deserves of them, the worse they'll speak of I him. “Tom, standout of the way of that gentleman.” “How |do you know he is a gentleman ?” “Be cause he has got on striped trousers. ” If you want to get into hot water, just tell your wife she ain’t as good looking as she used to be. If you escape a cup | of hot tea we are mistaken. T/)ve labor; if you do not want it for food you may for I physic. A year of pleasure passes like a floating breeze; but a mo ment of misfortune seems an age of pain. M hat is the univt rse but a liand flung in space, peiinting nl : ways with extended finger uuto God. Pride is the dainty oocupant of our b o;ns, and yet ever feeds on the meanest infirmity of our kind. Beauty eventually deserts its possessor, but virtue and tal ents accompany him even to the grave. Cato says, “the best way to keep good acts in memory is to refresh them with new.” lie who hates bis neighbor Is miserable himself, and make* all around him feel miserable. Opinions may be eousidereffea the shawows of knowledge. If our knowledge be accurate, our opinions will bo just. It is very important, then, that we do not adopt an opinion too has tily. Does not the echo in the sea shell tell of the worm which j once inhabited it ? and shall not man's good deeds live after him and sing liis praise ? The sun is like God, sending abroad life, beauty and happi ness; and the stars like human souls, fer all their glory cornea from the sun. I low is it possible to expect that mankind will take ad vice when they will not so much as take warning ? Speak with calmness and deliberation on all occasions, es pecially in circumstances which tend to irritate. It is a bad sign to 6ce a man with his hat off at midnight, ex plaining the the theory and principles of liis party to a lamp post. “Dad, who is this Sam Francisco that’s getting all the gold out there in Kaliforny ? he must be the richest fellow in. all them diggings.” “Why, Johnny, I rather think he's some related to the Sam .Jaeinto who was killed iu the Texan war by Gen. Sam. Houston.” ■ggggg, o. ii. i ■. i ■ in I- ‘ “i in i SIRGICAL OPERATIONS. DR. JAMES WEAVER, ( Memphis Tenn.) propose* to perform aR rturgica (Operations of every description, and is well prepared with all necessary instruments to perfonn every description of opera-- tion that is performed in any of the northern cities. He operates sue-, cessfully on all affections of the eye, as well a.i all other caws, and will insure a cure in all cases of cross-eye, (strabismus, and will guar antee success in every case of Club or Reel-Foot, Ooxarthrus) or con tracted tendons in any portion ofthe system causing deformity. Testimonial. The following is given as one of many certificates of successful o[>e ration which have been furnished Professor Weaver by his patients* From he Memphis Enquirer. Jan. 30th 1850# Club or Keel Foot C'nred. Mr. Editor —Dear Sir: Please publish the following case in your valuable (leriodiral, that those who may be tailoring under a similar deformity may know where to obtain relief. My feet were both reel ed or clubbed from birth, the toes turned inwards, ths bottoms turned backwards, and the tops forward, w hich threw me on the outside of my feet, on which Iwalkid up to the time of the operation. There wai a large lump on the outside of each foot, where 1 rested the weight of my body in walking. I applied to Professor James \\ eaver, of Mem phis. Tenn. who is distinguished for his surgical skill, and on the 28th day from the time ofthe operation, he put straight shoes on my feet, they being straight before me and fiat on the bottoms. I san now walk on them very well and am improving daily and expect in a short time to run and jump equal to any neighbor. There is no pain atteiw ding the operation but what can be easily stood by any one, and dur ing the whole ojieration there is scarcely any blood lost, and no sores or infiamation, as most persons might suppose. There is hardly any sum that would induce roe toexchange my straight feet for the crook ed ones I had six weeks ago. I would advise all l>crso> * who are la boring under that deformity, to call ou Dr. Weaver, who will cure them w ith certainty’. E, T. PETTY. March 21st, 1850. D~‘* J !~ JOB WORK Executed with Neatness and Despatch*. AT THE “GEORGIA CITIZEN” OFFICE.