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Agriculture, JHmrafnrturrs, &r. Prospects of the Crop. Notwithstanding the frost of the 15th April, last year, the crops are much more unpromising than they were twelve months ago. This is attributable to the cold and wet spring. The quantity of rain that has fallen since the first of Decem ber, has been so great as to keep the rivers continually swol len—in fact we have heard of instances in which the crop of corn has been flooded five or six times since the first of March. Our river planters in this neighborhood have re planted within the last two weeks, and those cultivating the low lands below Demopolis, have not, it is said, finished plant ing. The weather has been such as to generate far more than the usual numbet of insects upon the cotton and these, togeth er with the countless disasters to which that delicate plant is subject, have caused it to die and to continue dying, so that most planters are complauing much of bad stands. If June shall be as warm as usual, it will be impossible to re place the stands—in fact much of the late planting will be killed by the heat of the Sun. Com is also small, irregular and unthrifty in appearance; and withal, both it and cotton is incumbered with more than the usual compliment of grass. To all this we have to add, the Rice birds have been exceed ingly destructive to the wheat crop. We have heard of planters cutting their wheat for hay—saying the grain was all gone, and of others who are merely permitl'ng it to ripen, In the hope that they may obtain seed from it. So far as the cotton planter is concerned, the shortness of the crop is a matter of but little consequence, if the loss falls alike upon us all. We believe the disaster is general, if not universal throughout the cotton growing region. If we make but little it is gathered with less labour, and sells for a Letter price.— Tuscaloosa Observer, %"ith ult. The editor of the Southern Enterprise, published at Fort Gaines, Ga. says: The next Cotton crop will undoubtedly be short even of last year's crop. We have lately been travelling the river, as many of our readers know, and during our travel we have talked with a number of planters, and all complain of not hav ing more than a half stand of cotton in their farms, and even what they have is dying. Several have been replanting but find it impossible to replant it as fast as it dies. In addition to all this, the whole cotton crop this year is backward. With these facts before onr eyes, together with unfavorable accounts from almost every cotton growing region in the South we should not wonder if the present crop falls short of last years at least a third. The N. O. Crescent says, on Red river most of planters have planted three times in consequence of the cold, long coli mned rains. The plant is six weeks behind time. The Grenada (Miss.) Republican, of the 18th, says, we have recently passed over a portion of this and Tallahatchie coun ties, and we do not recollect ever to have seen as poor a pros pect for making crops of corn or cotton, as at the present time. A letter from Sumterville to the editors of the Charleston Courier, says: ‘1 have to day been taking a jaunt in the coun try, and in my travels passed some twelve or fifteen plantations several of them the largest in the district—and can but express my astonishment at the exceeding backwardness of the cotton crop. None of the plants were over two inches in height. I have often seen the crops as far advanced the first day of April. The Crops. —The Caddo (La.) Gazette of the 22J ult. says: We have been informed by an intelligent and extensive plan ter of this parish, that more than a half crop of cotton cannot possibly be made the present year; granting the season from this time, is most favorable to the growth of the plant. The usual rains and weather, which have visited us so frequently during the spring, liave precluded the possibility of even a tolerable “stand.” The weather, too, has injured the corn crops, even more than the cotton, and it may, and in fact must, be the ease, that our farmers will meet with the double disaster, of a short cottou aud corn crop, and hard times. Farmer Blake’s first Lesson, When I first went to live up at the Grange, Farmea Blake took me into tho fields to talk to me. I was young then, but quite old enough to understand what he said. “My lad,” said the farmer, “if you are to learn farming, and we are to go on tidily together, either I must teach you or you must teach me. Now, as I happen to know more than you, it will be but reasonable that I should take the lead, and it will be time enough when you are the wiser of the two to al ter the plan.” Farmer Blake said this in a kind tone of voice, but the firm ness with which he spoke, convinced me at onee that his word was to be a law. “You have picked up a little knowledge at the school house,” said he, “and now you must try to pick up a little at the Grange Farm. The first lesson that I shall give you to learn, is this— a little at a time, and go on. Almost all great things are done on this principle. The rain from the skies comes down in little flakes; and yet both of them, by going on, cover the face of the ground.” “Look here,” said Farmer Blake, stopping at a bush, on which a spider was weaving his web, ‘ see how the little crea ture's employed. First he fastens one line, and then an other, without wasting his time by idling between, and it will not be very long, I am thinking, before lie catches his fly.— The weaving spider is following the rule— a little at a time, and go on” What Farmer Blake said appeared so very clear to me, that I wondered the same tiling had not occurred before. But the farmer determined to impress his lesson im my mind. On turning round a corner we came suddenly upon a wood man, who was felling an elm tree, and the dry chips flew around him as ho denied his lusty stroke with his axe. “Oh;” thought I, “the farmer will be at me again now, about his first lesson ;” but no, not a word did he speak. I saw, however, that his eye was now and then fixed upon me. Though the woodman did not appear to get on very fast, yet by repeated strokes lie make a great gash more than half through the trunk of the tree; and, not long after, down came the* elm with aloud crash. Farmer Blake walked on in silence, and I was silent too; when suddenly he said to me, “Well, my lad, what arc you thinking of?” “I was thinking sir,” said I, “that the wood man has brought down tho tree by doing a little at a time, and going on.” “Just as I expected,” he replied ; and now I see that you have learned my first lesson.” When left to myself I thought over every word that Farm er Blake had spoken, and felt sure not only that he was the wisest man I knew, but also that I could not do a better thing than attend to LLs remarks. In the course of that day I could hardly look around without seeing some object which brought before me Fanner Blake's first lesson. A bricklayer was building a wall near a cottage; a shepherd with his crook, was climbing a high hill; and two men were filling a cart with gravel. By laying a brick at a time, and going on, the brick layer would build the wall; by taking a step at a time, and go ing on, the shepherd would get to the top of the hill.; and by throwing in a spade full at a time, and going on, the cart would be filled. Many ha ve I known who were not satisfied with doing a lit tle at a time; they must needs do a great deal, and haste to be rich ; but they fell into snares, and their riches did them uo good. And some have I known who were very zealous in ho ly things, but tltey did not go on. Oh, it is an excellent thing to feel that we are dependent upon our Heavenly Father for all we have, even our daily bread. I feel myself much wiser than I was before. I lived many years at the Grange, and have great reason to be tlumkful for the many useful lessons that the honest farmer taught mo ; but not a single day of these years is better re mombered by me than the first day that I entered on the farm, and not a single lesson is more deeply impressed on my mind than the very first that he taught me. I know that Farmer Blrke, in teaching me his first lesson, intended to apply it especially to farming; but I have learned to apply it to other things. Thousands would have been ben efits had they understood and practised the humility —a lit tle at a time, and go on, Pepper. —One of the most useful vegetables in the hygiene, is red pepper. Especially in warm countries lias it been considered invaluable as a stim ulant and anxiliary in digestion. Among the Span ish and French races it is used in the largest quanti ties, and they invariably enjoy most excellent health, j Ot late, particularly since the cholera visited our state, our planters have begun to discover the vir tues of this vegetable, and mingle large quantities of it with the food of their negroes. Considerable attention has been drawn to the selection and culti vation of the best kinds of pepper. Among those who have appreciated the importance of this vegeta ble, is that admirable planter, and exceedingly prac tical gentleman, Col. Maunsel White, the proprietor of “J leer Range,” commonly known as the Model Sugar Plantation. Col. White has introduced the celebrated tobacco red pepper, the very strongest of all peppers—of which lie has cultivated a large quantity, with a view of supplying his neighbors and diffusing it through the state. The tobacco pepper yields a small red pod, less than an inch in length, and longitudinal in shape. It is exceeding ly hot, and but a small quantity of it is sufficient to pepper a large dish of any food. Owing to its olea ginous character. Col. White found it impossible to preserve it by drying; but by pouring strong vine gar on it after boiling, he has made a sauce or pep per decoction of it, which possesses in a most con centrated and intense form all the qualities of the vegetable. A single drop of this sauce will flavor a whole plate of soup or other food. The use of a decoction like this, particularly in preparing the food for laboring persons would be found exceedingly beneficial in a relaxing climate like this. Col. White has not had a single case of cholera among his large gang of negroes since that disease appeared in the south, lie attributes this to the free use of this valuable agent. — jV. 0. Delta. Heaves in Houses.— John Davis, in the Boston Cultivator, gives the following recipe for the cure of this disease: Take a tub, put three pails of water, and fresh lime the size of an egg; add molasses to give a more palatable taste, and place it in the stall, so that the horse can have free access to it. After he becomes accustomed to this drink, add half as much more lime and renew, so as to keep it of the same strength. The horse may be worked as usual, only allow no other drink. After lie drinks freely, bleed by taking two quarts from the breast; in two or three weeks take two quarts more. Jf tho above is carried out, my word for it your horse will have relief. Crr Y\ orms. —Charles Cist, Esq., of the Cincin nati Advertiser, says: —“I have a hint to give my fanning friends how to protect young tomatoes, cabbage, and other plants from cut worms. “ Full a few tops of clover, which put along side each plant you wish to save, covering the clover tops with a chip. The cut worm prefers the clover to any thing else, and every day or two you can ex amine below the chips, and hand the cut worm over to the lien and her chickens. “This is less labor than to replant.” Disease ix Swixe. — A breeding sow was turned off to fatten. A few days after, she was noticed to stand with her head down, and to he breathing with great distress, but yet without any perceptible sound. r l his continued for a day or two, when, supposing she was laboring under an attack of inflamation of the lungs, I cut off her tail, from which she bled free ly. 1 his was followed by immediate relief, and in a day or two she was quite well. F. Spirits from Turnips. —A correspondent in forms the Elgin Courant that he has produced a spirit from turnips, which closely resembles whiskey, but has the flavor of turnips. It is very pure, strong and highly inflammable; and if the turnip flavor could be removed, might come extensively into favor. Medical use Os Salt.— ln many cases of disor dered stomachs, a tcaspoonful of salt taken three times a day is a certain cure. In the violent inter nal aching, (termed cholic) add a handful of salt to a pint of cold water, drink it and go to bed; it is one of the speediest remedies known. The same must be done on the first symptoms of plague, and will revive a person who seems dead with a heavy fall, Ac. In an apoplectic fit no time should be lost in pouring salt and water down the throat, if sufficient sensibility remain to allow swallowing : if not, the head must be sponged with cold water until the senses return, when salt and water will completely restore the patient from the lethargy. In the fit, the feet should be placed in warm water with mus tard added, and the legs briskly rubbed, all banda ges removed from the neck, Ac. and a cool apart ment procured it possible. In many cases of severe bleeding at the lungs, when other remedies fail, Dr. Rush found two teaspooufuls of salt completely stay ed the flow of blood. In case of a bite from a mad dog, wash the part with strong brine for an hour, then bind on some salt with a rag. ’this prevents ill consequences, and cures. In toothaches, warm salt and water held to the part and renewed two or three times, will relieve in most cases. In scorbutic habits, use salt plentifully, and a vegetable diet; if the gums be affected, wash the mouth with brine; if the teeth be covered with tartar, wash them twice a day with salt and water. In swelled neck, wash the part with brine, and drink it also, twice a day until cured. Salt will expel worms, if used in the food in a moderate degree, and aids digestion, hut salt meat is injurious if much used. mm iLi'im—wap— Medical Discovery,— lt has been ascertained that the true source of scorbutic disease, as it shows itself in our ships and prisons, is the want of potash in the blood; that salted meats contain little more than half the potash in fresh meats; and that while an ounce of rice contains only five grains of potash, an ounce of potato contains 1,87.5 grains, which ac counts for the great increase of the disease since the scarcity of the potato. In patients under this dis ease, the blood is found to be deficient in potash; and it has been ascertained by repeated experiments, that whatever be the diet, such patients speedily r< cover if a few grains (from twelve to twenty) of some salt of potash be given daily. Lime juice is regularly ordered in the navy, as a specific for the disease, and the reason of its efficacy is not the acid, but the amount of potash, being 816 grains in an ounce. On these facts, it seems possible to found a slight, but very salutary improvement in the navy. Let a portion of tartrate of potash be ordered regu larly to be mixed with the lime juice that is given out for use; and let arrangements be adopted for boiling the salt meat in steam. A large portion of the salt would thus be eliminated, and the food made more wholesome. A similar course might be adopted in work-houses and prisons. If so simple a remedy is in our hands, it is criminal to neglect it. A work of Art. —The N. Y. Post says, there is now in the Custom-House a copy of the statue, which an eminent French artist, Gayard, is about to send to M. \ attemare, for presentation to Congress. It is designed to embody the artist’s idea of tho A merican Republic, and represents a young female, of graceful figure and majestic countenance,seated upon a bail of cotton, whose head is surrounded by a halo of thirteen stars, aud who holds in her hand the banner of the nation, surmounted by the Phrygian cap. Her left hand rests on a helm, significant alike of sovereign ty and maratime power. At her feet is the American Eagle, and distributed about the ground arc the emblems, of various kinds, such as bows and ?iS iisilil CISIISH. arrows, the cornucopia, the plough, sheaf of Indian com, Ac. Ac. This model is about two feet in height, rests upon a pedestal conceived in good taste, the sides of which will be ornamented with bas relief re presentations of prominent exents in the history of the United States, such as the Declaration of Inde pendence, the Treaty of Peace of 1784, the Surren der ot Cornwallis, Ac. The whole reflects great credit upon the skill and ingenuity of the artist, and when finished in bronze, as it is intended to be, the figure, some twenty feet in height, will form a most imposing object. The model is sent over in advance, to get the criticism of competent persons before the larger statue is finished. The Upper Regions of the Atmosphere, Mr. J. Wise, tlie aeronaut, has recently published a work entitled “History and Practice of Aeronautics,” from which the Philadelphia Inquirer derives the following interesting facts: < “In one place he makes us acquainted with the still quiet of the heavens, thus: —A bee was let off at 8,000 feet, which flew away, making a humming noise. At the altitude of 11,000 feet a large linnet was liberated, which flew away ‘directly, but soon feeling itself abandoned in the midst of an un known ocean, it returned and settled on the stays of the bal loon, then mustering fresh courage, it took a second flight and dashed down to the earth, describing a tortuous yet perpen dicular track. A pigeon let off under similar circumstances afforded a more curious spectacle. Placed on the car, it rest ed awhile, measuring as it were the breadth of that unexplor ed sea, which it designed to traverse; now launching into abyss, is fluttering irregularly, and seemed at first to try its wings on the thin element, and after a few strokes it gained more confidence, and whirling in large circles or spirals like the bird of prey, it precipitated itself into the mass of extend ed clouds, where it was lost from sight. In one of his ascents, lie held a distinct conversation in the clouds with Mr. Paulin, who ascended v. ttli another balloon about the same time.” To preserve Hams through the Summer. A writer in the Genesee “Farmer” gives the following as his method of preserving hams. It is an easy experiment, and deserves a trial by those engaged in curing pork. “Make a number of common cotton hags, a little larger than your hams ; after the hams arc well smoked, place them in the bags ; then get the very best kind of sweet, well made hay, cut it with a cutting-box or knife, and with your hands press it well around tlic hams in the bags ; tie your bags with good strings, put on a card the year to show their age, and hang them up in jour garret or some <1 ry room ; and mj word for it, if j'ou let them hang for five j ears, they will be better for boiling than on the day you put them up. I have kept them seven years, and have some now that are four years old. This method costs but lit.le, as the bags will last for years. The only loss is the hay, and that the cattle will eat if given to them in the winter. No flies or hugs will trouble the hams if the hay is well pressed around them, the sweat ing of the hams will be taken up by the hay, and the hay will impart a fine flavor to the hams.’’ Rail Road Brake.—AY e saw a day or two since anew invention, called Treadwell’s Horizontal Rail Road Brake, the machinery of which is very simple in its construction. In the brake now in use, the friction is entirely upon the wheels, and has the ef fect of cutting them whenever applied. The new brake is applied to the track, and is destined to be very effective in its operation. It stops ihe cars without producing any jar or unpleasant motion. It is also so managed that the engineer can have the control of tho whole train. It saves a great deal in the wear of the wheels, which is said to bo about one-third the expense of keeping the cars in order. The superintendant of the Boston andgl’rovidence Rail Road, has ordered this brake to bo applied to the passenger cars. Mr. Everett Traadwell, the in ventor, is a resident of this city. He has obtained a patent for this country and has now applied for one in England.— N. V. Courier. Great Improvement in Daguerreotype. Air. ('has. J. Anthony, of Fittsburg, lias invented one of the grandest improvements ever made in the art of Daguerrcotypiug; in fact we believe it se cond only to the discovery of Daguerre himself.— The improvement consists in what is termed the ‘Magic Back Ground,’ which is given by a chemical process, and consists in overcoming one of the greatest difficulties that artists have to contend a gainst. Mr. Anthony, by bis process, can give the picture any kind of back ground he pleases—light or dark and imitation of* sky, or draperied canopy. One sample which we saw, had a back ground in imitation of pearl, with the picture standing out in full relief. The back ground can be given either be fore, during, or after the impression is taken. The process is simple and the expense trifling. Mr. Anthony has applied for a patent, and has as signed his interest of it to Air. Levi Ceapman, of this city, who w ill no doubt make a grand affair of such a deserving and meritorious discovery. — Sci. Artier. American Inventive Genius. —The improve ments in the maufacture of percussion caps by ma chinery have been rapid and wonderful. A Wash ington letter in the N. V. Tribune, speaking of them says : “Formerly we imported percusssion caps entirely from Europe—they wore made by hand labor. — Bouton invented a machine, and the House Com mittee on Military Affairs report that it forms tho most perfect cap ever made for small fire-arms in use in our army. Fisher an ingenious mechanic now dead, invented an apparatus for charging Bouton’s cap with tho fulminate. Wright next set his wits to work, and combined Fisher and Bouton’s machine into one, which cuts the star from the copper, forms the cap, charges it with the fulminate, presses and delivers it, ready to be varnished. Percussion caps are now made hereof best quality, for army use, at 80 cents per 1,00 —the material costs nearly 9-lOths of that price—labor-saving machinery don’t well get beyond that.” (TV iHlllOTluTJllT. Plum Cakes.— A correspondent has sent the fol lowing :—Beat six ounces of butter to a cream, and add six ounces of sugar powdered; beat them to gether ; then add three eggs (previously beaten) ami six ounces of currants, and one pound of dried flour; beat all for ten minutes and drop the batter, about the size of walnut, on floured tin plates. Bake ten minutes, in a brick oven ; they will keep good for months and are exceedingly nice.—M. I). [Betty says, that one pound of flour would make the mixture into paste of sufficient consistence to be rolled out with a rolling-pin, or to be formed into balls with the hands: and that the addition of a little grated nutmeg, or a few drops of essence of lemon, would be a great improvement to them. — Halt a pound of flour would be better than a pound, and the batter could then be dropped on the plates with a spoon. If made with this quantity it would make what confectioners call “Pound Drops.” To Preserve Iron from Rust.— Melt fresh mut ton suet, smear over the iron with it, while hot; then dust it well with unslacked lime, pounded and tied up in muslin. Irons so prepared will keep many months. Lse no oil for them at any time, except salad oil, there being water in all other. Fire-irons should be wrapped in baize, and kept in a dry place when not used. Toby.— To make a good Wedding Cake use equal parts of sugar, flour and currents, and two thirds of that quantity each of butter aud candid peel, with spices and brandy as required. Then to ice it, beat the white of eggs to a full froth, with a little rose or orange flower water; add gradually as much finely pondered sugar as will make it thick enough, beat it well all the time. Dust the cake over with flower, then gently rub it off; lay on the icing with a flat knife, and place it in the oven for a few minutes to harden, but not long enough to dis color it. To Clean Crape.— On account of the peculiar nature of the fabric, crape is very difficult to clean. We know of no better method than to first sponge it with water, and afterwards to brush it over with clear, thin gum-water. Crape was invented at Bo logna; it is made of raw silk gummed, and twisted at the mill. Gum-water for this purpose should be very weak, say half an ounce (or less) to a pint of water; but much depends on the texture of the crape and the qualities of the gum. Moisture is in jurious to crape, and, by softening the gum destroys its crispness. Fixe Indian Cut* Cakes. —Stir to a light cream a pound of fresh butter, cut it up into a pound of powdered white sugar; add a heaped teaspoonful of powdered nutmeg and cinnamon, mixed. Mix together a pint of sifted Indian meal, and half a pint of wheat flour. Beat six eggs very light and stir them into the mixture of butter and sugar in turn, with the meal. Butter some tea cups, fill them with the mixture, and bake it well. When done turn them out of the cups, and send them to the table warm. Draining Flower Tots.— Of all circumstances connected with the culture of flowering plants in pots, none is more important and less regarded than draining; that is, putting a stratum of broken pots, broken tiles or bricks, of a soft quality, in the bot tom of the pots, underneath the soil and roots of the plants; potsherds should be broken down till the largest does not exceed the size of a small bean —the powder occupying the topmost part. Asa general rule, every pot should have near one-fourth of its depth occupied by this material. €*lje iuinmrifit. “Let dimpled mirth his temples twine, With tendrils of the laughing vine.” Eating Icc-Crcam Raw, Written for the Yankee Blade by Jonas Jones. On a very warm and sultry evening during the summer of’4B, as Doctor 15 and myself were seated in a fashionable saloon of our town, indul ging in the cool luxuries which the proprietors of the establishment know so well how to prepare, and chatting the while upon such subjects as fancy and caprice suggested, —a tall, limber-looking individual of about 23, made his appearance, and after looking about him for some time in bewilderment and doubt, seated himself at a table close by the one at which we were sitting. The young man was apparently a stranger, and from the country; and the illuminated sign, with “Ice-cream,” “Confectionaries, ’’ Ac. Ac. blazoned thereon, had evidently taken him in. — Knowing the Doctor to have a great propensity for practical joking, 1 turned to see what effect this new arrival would have upon him; and one glance at his restless, twinkling eye, satisfied me that there would be sport: — the tiger teas alreadg in imagination gloating over his prey. After sitting some time as if uncertain bow to pro ceed, the young man plucked up sufficient courage to address us, and inquire whether he could “get some ice-cream, and a couple of confectionaries;” —sta- ting, at the same time, that he had “never been at the canawl afore, and didn’t know bow people acted at sich places.” lie was informed by the Doctor, that if he would ring tho small bell which stood up on the table, bis wishes would be gratified. The green ’uu did as he was directed, and in due time, was served with the ice-cream and “confectionaries.” After eyeing for a few moments the articles before him, lie took the spoon from the glass, took a small quantity of the cream, and put it to the tip of his tongue, and then looked about the room with an air of great satisfaction and delight. Soon, however, another idea seemed to strike him; he rammed the spoon deep into the glass, took it out heaped full, and in a moment, its contents had disappeared. At this instant, 1 felt a twitch at my side, —the next, the doctor was on his feet, —had clutched my arm convulsively, and with one hand pointing to ward the victim, almost screamed : “My God, that youno man is eating iiis ice cream raw !” Down went ice-cream, spoon, confectionaries, and table, upon the floor; out leaped the victim at least ten feet toward the middle of the room, gasping for breath—eyes protruding from their sockets—and countenance exhibiting marks of the greatest terror and helplessness. In a moment the 1 )octor was by his side, —felt his pulse, —unbuttoned bis coat, waist coat, and shirt-collar, as if to admit fresh air; then gently pushed him into a -chair, and commenced fanning him with the skirt of his coat. It was then that the victim’s tongue first became loosed, and with imploring look, he half whispered, half screech ed, —“Oh, kin 1 live ?” Upon this, the Doctor look ed mysterious, felt his pulse again, examined his tongue, and then in a solemn tone, replied : “It may be, young man, that by implicitly follow ing my directions, you can yet escape the conse quences of your rashness and folly. I would advise you to” — “Anything, I'll do anything you tell me, so as I kin git over this spell, and find my way home again.” “Well then, sir, take oft’ your coat.” The young man did so —“tie a handkerchief about you,” lie was obeyed. “And now, sir, go to the door, run three times around this square, with all the might that is in you; and then come back to me, and I will tell you what further to do.” Tho young man vanished, and we resumed our seats; in a few minutes, however, he returned, puf fing and blowing, and apparently in better spirits. “Now,’’ said the doctor, “do you put on your coat, button it up close to your chin; go to your lodgingplacc, and turn into bed immediately; and let me advise you, young man, that hereafter, before you undertake to eat ice-cream, see that it is pro perly prepared; and let me particularly charge you, (and here lie assumed a very serious air,) never again do you attempt to cat it raw.” The young man stammered forth his thanks for the advice, and then left —we following soon after. Cousin Sally Billiard. RY HAMILTON C’. JoNES. Scene. —-1 Court of Justice in South Carolina. A beardless disciple of the Themis rises, and thus addresses the court: “May it please your worship, since it has been riy fortune (good or bad, l will not say) to exercise myself in legal acquisitions, it has never befallen me to be obliged to prosecute so dire ful, so marked and malicious an assault; a more wil ful, violent and dangerous battery, and finally, a more diabolic breach of the peace has seldom hap pened in a civilized country, and I dare say it has seldom been your duty to pass upon one so shocking to benevolent feelings as this which took place over at Capt. Rice’s in this county. But you will hear from the witnesses.” The witnesses being sworn, two or three were ex amined and deposed —one said that ho heard the noise and did not see the fight—another that he see’d the row, but didn’t know who struck first— and a third that he was very drunk and couldn’t say much about the skirmish. Lawyer Chops. —I am very sorry, gentlemen, to have wasted y<fcir time with the stupidity of the witnesses examined. It arises, gentlemen, altogeth er from misapprehension on my part. Had I known, as I now do, that I had a witness in attendance, who was well acquainted with the circumstances ot the case, and who was able to make himself clearly understood by the court and jury, I would not so long have trespassed on your time and patience.— Come forward, Mr. Harris, and be sworn. So forward coines the witness, a fat, shuffy, old man, a leetle corned, and took his oath with an air. Chops.—Harris, we wish you to tell us all about the riot that happened the other day at Capt. Rice’s and as a good deal of time has already been wast ed in circumlocution, we wish you to be compendi ous, and at the same time as explicit as possible. Harris. —Edzaekly—giving the lawyer a knowing wink and at the same time clearing his throat — Capt. Rice, be gin a treat, and Cousin Sally Dilliard, she came over to our house, and axed me if my wife she moutn’t go. I told Cousin Sally Dilliard that my wife was poorly, seeing as how she had the rheumatics in the hip and the big swamp was in the road, and the big swamp was up for there had been a heap of rain here lately, but howsomever as it was she, Cousin Sally Dilliard, my wife she mout go. Well, Cousin Sally Dilliard then axed if Mose he moutn’t go. I told Cousin Sally Dilliard that Mose was foreman of the crap, and the crap was smartly in grass; but howsomever as it was she, Cousin Sally Dilliard, Mose, he mout go — Chops. —In the name of common sense, Mr. Har ris, what do you mean by this rigamarole? Witness.—Capt. Rice he gin a treat, and Cousin Sally Dilliard she come over to our house and axed me if my wife she moutn’t go, I told Cousin Sally Dilliard— Chops.—Stop, sir, if you please, we don't want to know anything about your Cousin Sally Dilliard and your wife —tell us about the tight at Rice's. . \\ itness.—Well, I will sir, that is, if you w ill let me. Chops.—Well, sir, go on. Well, Capt. Rice, he gin a treat, and Cousin £aK ly Dilliard she come over to our house and axed me if my wife she moutn’t go— Chops.—There it is again, witness, please to stop. M itness. —\\ ell, sir, what do you want ? Chops.—We want to know about the tight, and you must not proceed in this impertinent story. Do you know anything about the matter before the court ? Witness.—To be sure I do. Chops. —Well, you go on and tell it, and nothing else. Witness.—Well, Capt. Rice, he gin a treat— Chops.—This is intolerable. May it please the court. I move that this witness be committed for a contempt; lie seems to be trifling with the court. Court. —You are now* before a court of Justice; unless you behave yourself in a more becoming man ner, you will be sent to jail; so begin and tell what you know about the fight at Captain Rice's. Witness, (alarmed.) —Well, gentlemen, Capt. Rice he gin a treat, and Cousiu Sally Dillard — Chops.—l hope this witness may be ordered into custody. Court, (after deliberating.)—Mr. Attorney, the court is of the opinion that we may save time by letting the witness to go on his own way. Proceed Mr. Harris, with your storv, but stick to the point. Witness.—Yes, gentlemen; well, Capt. Rice, he gin a treat, and Cousin Sally Dilliard come over to our house, and axed me if my w ife she mout go. 1 told cousin Sally Dilliard that my w ife was poorly, being as how she had the rheumatics in the hip, and I the big swamp was up; but howsomever, as it was she, Cousin Sally Dilliard, she must go. Well, ! Cousin Sally Dilliard then axed me if Mose, he moutn’t go. I told Cousin Sally Dilliard as how Mose he w ;is the foreman of the crap, and the crap was smartly in the grass, but howsomever, as it was she, Cousan Sally Dilliard, Mose he mout go. And they went, and they come to the big swamp, and it wasup as 1 was telling you; but being as how there ; was a log across the big swamp, Cousin Sally Dil liard and Mose, like genteel folks, they walked the log, but my wife, like a darn’d tool, h’isted her coats and waded right through— and that's all 1 know about the f<jht. Clerical Wit. —The follow ing anecdote of Dish op Mountain, the first Dishop of the English church in Canada, and father of the present Lord Dishop, of Moutreal, was related to us recently by a clergy- ; man, who was well acquainted with the worthy prelate, and who assures us of its perfect authenti city. It is possible that it may have been in print before, but we do not remember to Lave seen it, and as it is certainly a very happy example of a neat re- I partee turned to a prudent and profitable account, j we venture to tell the story as it was told us. Short- j ly after the diocese of Montreal was created, Mr. ; Mountain, then a young man, was holding the of- , flee of private chaplain to the Archbishop of Can-i ter bury. 11 is grace, whose duty it was to choose j an incumbent of the new diocese, was endeavoring : to select the most suitable person for the office, but ; being at a loss to make an election from a large j number of worthy aspirants, at length applied to j his chaplain for counsel. “Indeed,” replied the , young clergyman, “1 can hardly presume to advise j your grace in so weighty a matter; but as 1 have a : high opinion of your grace's faith , I do not doubt that if you should say to this Mountain be thou re moved into yonder /Sea, it would obey you !’’ The archbishop was pleased with the wit of his adviser, and as the applicant was in all respects a tit person to receive the mitre, lie was forthwith appointed.— Post. “Dr. G. w as, while a pastor in Philadelphia, more than fifty years since, an eminent preacher of right eousness; and was honored with many seals of his ministry. But his earlier sermons are described as having been too highly wrought, and as marked by great rhetorical finish. This gave him popularity with a multitude, but it failed of commending him to all his flock. One day, returning from the ser vice of the sanctuary, he was accosted by a poor woman, a member of his church, who fearing that his language was not always adapted to the capaci ties of a portion of his hearers, took the liberty of giving her youthful pastor a hint. “Mr. (freon,'’ said she, what do you think is the great business of the shepherd £” “No doubt to feed the flock, madam,” was liis re- PL''* “That is my notion, too,” she added, “and there fore I think he should not hold the hay so high that the sheep cannot reach it.’’ The monition, says the biographer of the preacher, was received in the spirit with which it was given, and probably had its influence in causing him after wards to ‘hold the hay lower.’ ” A Hackensack Breakdown. The Memphis Express is guilty of the follow ing paragraph: A friend of ours went over into Arkansas a few weeks ago to attend a “breakdown” —that is a da”ce. The ladies upon the occasion, were arrayed in their best; with all the gay colors which an uncultivated taste could suggest. The gentlemen were dressed in homespun clothes, and none but our friend had broadcloth on his back. During the evening, sweet potatoes of an enormous size, roasted in the ashes, were handed round to the company, together with a handful of salt for each guest. A beautiful young lady soon became smitten w ith our friend, (perhaps with bis moustaches,) resolved to dance with him. She thereupon turned to a friend and addressed her in these words : “Sail, hold my tater, while I trot round with that nice hoss whats got on store clothes.” Our young friend was clinched accord ingly —he could not extricate himself from the grip of the rustic beauty, and he w*as obliged to “trot round” after her for one mortal long hour before he could obtain a respite from his labors. He made his escape the first opportunity, resolved that he never again would go to an Arkansas breakdown. “We travel and eipatiate.au the bee From flower to flower, so we froprland to land, The mailers, customs, policy of all Fay contribution to the store we glean— We suck intelligence in every clime. And spread the honey of our deep research, At our return, a rich repast for you.* { Here is rather a neat epigram on a pale limed wife—r Read it, all who are toper-ously inclined T\ hy is it that on Emma's cheek The lily blooms and not the rose ? Because the rose lias gone to seek A place upon her liasbands’s nose. Lola Montes bathes in Lavender water and dries herself with rose leaves. No wonder she leads Iter dupes bv ths nose ! If there be a man in tlie world who deserves compassion it* is the poor devil who is constantly haunted with suspicion We should educate the whole man—the body, the head f and the heart; the hotly to act, the head to dunk, and tlw heart to feel. Early education goes a great way towards making a many but cruel experience hardens his nature, and blunts him ur every finer feeling of humanity. Jfcter condemn your neighbor unheard, however many | the accusations which may be preferred against him • every story has two ways of being told. it is estimated the quantity of paint used daily hy the la dies of Boston, would, if rightly applied, be sufficient to paint a middling sized cottage. When you see something mysterious in four neighbor’s conduct, you have no occasion to get astraddle of his fence to watch tlie movements in his yard, and thus solve the mystery. J udge Thomas, of Worcester, Mass., being unable to at tend the citizens’ celebration at Fitehberg, as an invited i guest, sent the following toast: The o.NLjpro likable form OF Slaveky —That where one woman holds captive one man—in which the victim not only hugs his chain, but the little tyrant that rivets it. They have a man in Mississippi so lean that he makes no shadow at all. A rattlesnake struck at his leg six times in vain and retired in disgust, lie makes all hungry who look at him; and when children meet him in tlie street, they run home crying for bread. M ine drinking nml cigar smoking are had habit 3 . They | impair the mind and pocket, and lead to waste of time. I Cranberries hide themselves beneath the moss, he who j would find them must look for their modest worth. Don t get excited at trifles, ami imagine you are likelv to ’ die because you are attacked with the measles. ; Die difference between war and peace lias been well de fined by one of the ancients:—“ln time of peace the sons bury their fathers; i:i time of war the fathers bury their sons.” Dick rays about the prettiest thing to behold is an accom plished woman, after she has upset and broken her lamp, gathering up the fragments and wiping up the oil. Each of us bears within himself a world unknown to his fellow beings, and each may relate of himself a history re sembling that of every one, yet like that of no man. It is well to remember sometimes tint six feet of earth make all men of a size. “ ou have a pupil under the lasli,” as the man said when he looked into the ]H>dagogue*s eve. A small quantity of bark will make a rope, but it requires a large pile of wood to make a eord. A habitation giddy and unsure hath lie that buildeth on the vulgar heart. Annual flowering plants resemble whales, as they oome up to blow. Opinion’s hut a fool, that makes us scan the outward halst by the inward man. Geologically speaking, the took upon which the hard drinker splits, is quartz , says Ilood. As sore |daces meet most rubs, proud folks meet most affronts. Y\ hy is an editor like Sterne’s starling ? Because ho is confiued to a pea, and “can’t get out.” “I wouldn’t like to be in your shoes, I'd be handed if I would, as the culprit said to the conlemtied convict. A year of pleasure passes like a floating breeze ; hot a moment of misfortune seems an age of pain. In nature there s no Idem ih hut the mind : none can bo called deformed hut the unkind. M oman is the salt of the earth. If you doubt it think of “Lot’s wife.” To cure deafness, tell a man you want to pay a debt you have long owed him. ►some of our modern politicians are like vicious horses, they are apt to kick in thy traces. Vv omeu are as roses ; whose fair flower, being once dis played, doth tail that very hour. He must have along spoon that must eat with the d>‘vil. An author is as much honored in his enemies as his friends. M e have no objection to newspaper borrowing, provided every man only takes one to lend. lie who tlie sword of heaven would bear, should boas holy as severe. The centre of gravity is thought by a modern philosopher to be the middle of a Quaker congregation. Castles in the air, a eotempory says, have for their timber moo n-heams. An Irishman who lived in an attic, being asked what part of the house he occupied, answered, “If the house were turned topsy-turvey, I'd be livin’ on the first flare.” A sign in New York, according to the papers, reads; il Dough- mesiie bread ” We learn from the Buffalo Express that baldness isowing to the desquamation of the epidermis ! A fact as clear as mud. “This is a grate country,” as the prisoner said, looking out of an iron-barred window in the penitentiary. In popping the question, young men should be careful to con vince the fair maid tluit they are not in fun. Girls do not like sueh fun. lie must observe their mood on whom he jests, the quality of person, and the time. Grain and seeds are not considered dangerous except when about to shoot. “ Young ladies are inseperable friends when they have a lover apiece.” Oh, fie! A lie has no legs, but scandal has wings. A man loves the meal, in his youth, that he cannot endure in'his age. Our bodies are our gardens, to which our wills are gar deners. “Esteem is the mother of love, but the mother is often younger than the daughter.” God governs the world, an I we have only to do our duty wisely, and leave the issue to him. Be at peace with all mankind, but at war with all their vices. O, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains. How much more pleasant it is to pay our addresses than our debts! Never despise trifles. The want of a pin h sometime* caused agonies of shame. Naught's had, all’s spent, where our desire is got without content. No visor does become black villainy so well as soft and tender flatten*. It is excellent to have a giant's strength, bat it is tyrafl* nous to use it like a giant. A clear conscience is the best law, and temperance th best physic. The brain may devise many laws for the blood; but a hot temper leaps o’er a cold decree. Rich honesty dwells, like a miser, in a poor house, as your pearl in your foul oyster. Foul deeds will rise, though all earth overwhelm them to men’s eyes. Life in Neus York.