Newspaper Page Text
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%irnlttm’, jllmnifiutnrrs, &r.
“Ships ©f the Dfsrrt.”
\V e noticed some days ago the arrival of several
Syrian Camels at Baltimore, intended for the estab
lishment of an overland line to California- The
New A ork Herald says it is informed, from, a re
liable source, that Messrs. Sands and Howes are
about to establish the line forthwith; and that the
first caravan will leave Independence, Missouri,
some time in June next.
These gentlemen have already thirty-one camels
in this country; and there is a vessel now on the
way from Algiers to New Orleans with twenty-two
more, making fifty-three in all; most of which have
been selected of a good brood stock.
A caravan of 2 5 or more is to leave each point
once a month, and continue through the year.
The Western Journal of St. Louis, for the month
ot January, gives the follow ing interesting letter
upon the subject of introducing these animals into
Texas, as a means of defence against the marauding
tribes of Indians with which her western border is
continually harrassed.
It is a fact well known to eastern travellers, and
especially to those who have visited the mountain
regions of Syria and Arabia, that the camel is as ser
viceable on the rough mountain path as in the moving
sand of the desert. The dry bed of a torrent is the
caravan’s high road across the mountains and foot
prints the guides through the plains. The tough
india-rubber-like .soles of the camel’s feet are affec
ted neither by the burning sands, nor bv the loose,
sharp-edged stones strewed over the range of rocky
mountains, running from the Taurus to the Indian
ocean. The long legged, sure footed and indefati
gable animal makes its way through heavy mud,
crosses the rapid torrent, steps over huge stones and
other impediments, which it often encounters with a
heavy load and sometimes perhaps the additional
weight of the lazy driver upon his back ; while the
mule would be unable to travel over the same
ground, though without any load w hatever.
It takes but half a minute to secure the camel in
its kneeling position by the bridle string so that it
can neither rise nor move until released. It is un
heard ot that camels ever have been affected by the
stampede or the panic disturbing so often the beast
of burden in the west.
The camel wants no shoeing, no bit, no carriage;
a caravan of a hundred in Indian file requires but
two men to keep it moving with all order—one at
the head and one at the end.
The camel drinks only every second day, but it
may be deprived of water for three or four days to
gether without any effect on its health or its vigor ;
it will perform an eight days’ journey with no
other food than a three pounds’ weight of oil cake
and a few handsful of grain or beans per diem.
The common day’s journey of caravans of burden
camels in Syria and Arabia is from twenty-seven to
thirty English miles, and the load on such journeys
is between from four to five hundred pounds. Egyp
tian camels, reputed the tallest and strongest breed,
will carry for the short distance of six hundred to
one thousand yards from ten to twenty cwts. The
India mail is conveyed from Suez to Cairo —a dis-
The Cavass (express) of the Egyptian government
mounted on running camels or dromedaries perform
the said distance with one animal in six to eight
hours.
The running camels moves with ease for weeks
together, at the rate of eighty miles a day, while no
horse can go longer than one day, to a day and a
half, at the same rate; they are evidently the only
animals upon which the Texans can undertake to
outstrip and subdue the border tribes.
The camel is also very successfully employed for
draught, as the writer of this article observed in Al
exandria, (Egypt,) and by the English Engineer de
partment at Aden (Arabia Felix.) In this respect
it is far superior to the slow and greedy ox; it
draws as much as two oxen, walks twice as fast, and
eats but for one.
The camel may be broken in when three years
old, and is useful and active to the age of eighteen or
twenty.
Amongthe Mohammedans c;i iei‘- flesh is an ar
ticle of food; when young it i• not easily disting
uished from beef. CannTs milk is the chief food of
the Bedouin, and the hide of the animal is consid
ered superior to every other for sandals.
The camel is certainly more useful than either the
lama, mule, horse or ox, as well on account of its
superior strength, frugality, endurance, and willing
ness, as for its adaptability to every climate and
every soil.
The one-bumped or Arabian camel would answer
best to the climate and soil of Texas, New Mexico,
and lower California, and the two-humped or Baetri
an to northern California and Oregon. The Arabi
an camel is fleeter than the latter, and no doubt
could be imported w ith less cost from the Moroccan
coast into Texas, than the Bactrian from the mouth
of the Amoy rive r.
I have thus enumerated some of the advantages
which would render the introduction of the camel
into Texas an inestimable benefit. The honor of
the idea belongs to the Spaniards, who had import
ed some camels into Mexico shortly before the revo
lution, but they destroyed them at their retreat
from the country, unwilling to leave the breed to in
surgents of such a powerful auxiliary to man in
peace and war. There is no reason why the camel
should not be as serviceable to man on the prairies
of Texas and the mountain regions of Mexico, New
Mexico, California and Oregon as in the correspond
ing tracts of the old world —the line of country from
Orenburg (Syberia) to Mogadoxa, (east coast of Af
rica) and from Pekin (China) to Mogadore (west
coast of Africa.) It would be acclimated as soon
and as easily as the “genus equus,” no species of
which existed in the western hemisphere until the
Spaniards imported the horse and ass ; meanwhile
the new w orld already possesses an animal ot a cor
responding species to the camel —the lama.
On board ship the camel kneels of its own accord
during heavy seas and rises when the vessel is
steady again, unlike the horse, which tires itself out
by rolling with the vessel and standing always on
its legs. The menagerie conductors never lose an
animal in crossing the sea from Egypt to England,
and from England to the United States.
The camels will serve as “ehevaux de frise” against
cavalrv attacks, if need should l>o, as no horse un
acquainted with the sight and noise of those animals
dares to approach.
The depredatory Indian tribes would have no
longer a shelter in the swiftness of their horses and
the barrenness of their retreats it hunted down by
a corps of “lancer-riflemen” mounted on the re
nowned Morroccan dromedaries!
If the Bedouins of Africa, with the dromedary
for auxiliary, resisted French soldiers for twenty
years, and the Bedouins in Syria, Kurdistan and
Arabia the Turkish Nezans (regulars) for evermore,
how long will the Bedouins of America resist the
Anglo Saxon command, on the borders of their new
territorial acquisition, assisted by this powerful aux
iliary —the running camel, the ship of the desert?
The following is the largest estimate that can be
made of the expense of importing one hundred carn
al- from Morroeco to Corpus (’hristi.
One hundred camels at an average price
of SSO - - $5,000
Twenty colored attendants at sls a
month for three months - - 900
Agency for superintending the purchase,
the loading and landing of animals 1,000
Travelling expense ... 000
Freight of attendants and camels from
Morroeco to Corpus Christi - - 5,000
Insurance 2 per cent, on $U7,500 - 350
Food, water and stabling of the camels
from the time of purchasing - 4,000
To the time of landing Corpus Christi
and victuals for the attendants, pres
ents to brokers, merchants and un
forseen expenses - 050
Amount brought forward - * $17,500
i Allowing for saddles, harnesses, tents,
water bag of India-rubber, cordage,
blankets, cooking utensils and arms 2,500
‘ , <
The cost of the one hundred camels at
Corpus Christi, ready for a journey
will be-- $20,000
or S2OO a head —not including the very improbable
chance of losing some on the voyage, which is al
ready accounted for in the extreme estimate ot first
cost, freight and expenses in general.
I never have seen a burden camel sold for more
! than SSO, but I bought some myself in the lied Sea
as low as %3 to $5 a head. Running camels I have
| seen selling for S2O up to S2OO !
Admitting only of eighty passengers at SIOO a
person to San Diego or San Francisco, guaranteeing
so by this limited number the uninterrupted jour
neying with a speed of thirty miles a day, this trip
would only produce SB,OOO, but compensating large-
I ly for expenses and loss of interests up to a country
where such a useful animal is worth at least SI,OOO
—if it should not be thought proper to employ it
in the transportation line between the Sacramento
I and the Diggings, or to return with fortunate ad
venturers at S3OO a person! either to Missouri,
Arkansas or Texas.
Faking the average weight of a person to be one
hundred and fifty pounds, the passengers, baggage,
arms and provisions two hundred and fifty pounds,
and a reservation of weight for water and food and
victuals for the attendants, one hundred pounds, the
! burden of the animal for the greater part of the
journey will be reduced to about three to four hun
dred pounds, as it is not always necessary to carry
water and food on the journey, and as the travellers
prefer always to follow the camel on foot during the
cooler parts of the day, therefore thirty miles per
diem is a safe average for the whole length of the
journey. EMANUEL WEISS,
A Swiss traveller in Syria and Arabia.
Memphis, Tennessee.
Progress of Tea Culture in the Tinted States.
Our fair readers (says the Journal of Commerce)
will be much exhilarated by the following letter,
showing, apparently, the entire success of the ex
periments made in South Carolina by Dr. Junius
1 Smith, in the cultivation of the tea plant. It would
appear also that there is a prospect of obtaining a
much more delightful tea on this our republican
; soil than ever has been or can be brought from Im
perial China. One thing, though, is indispensable,
if we would enjoy this pleasure, viz : we must hold
fast to the Union; otherwise, none of the choicest
; teas will be permitted to cross Mason and Dixon’s
I line.
Communicated for the Journal of Commerce
Greenville, (S. C.) May 1, 1860.
Dear Sir : Although the winter lias been ratb
yet lam happy to say the tea plant maintains its ;
; original physiology. The same laws which govern !
the plant in China, Java, and India govern it here, j
) Not a single deficiency in my small garden. Every i
plant has taken effective root, and early in April the
leaf buds came out in great profusion, all starting 1
! from the foot of the old leafstalk. About the 20th !
April the buds, influenced by increased temperature,
j followed their Chinese paternity, and began tode-,
velope an abundance of the most delicate leaves in
regular season for the first gathering for the nianu
! factureof the choicest quality of tea. Were it pru
dent to relax in the slightest degree the reciprocal
j action of root and branch, and thus delay the vigor,
I growth blossom, and fruiting of the matured plant,
I I could now gather a sufficient quantity of leaves to
make a small supply of first-rate tea. But I compel
myself to forbear the indulgence of a curiosity dear
to my heart.
The fact that the foliage puts out at the same
time that it does in China, affords another practical
evidence of the adaptation of the American climate
j to the grow th of the plant, and demonstrates the
physiological fitness of a plant indigenous to China
to the culture of our own country. The final result’
depends upon our own industry, and we have no !
more ground for fear or apprehension of failure, than ;
we have in transplanting a peach, tree from France
to America. The leaf is now of a light pea green j
’ color, and nothing can be imagined more tender ;
and delicate. I can now understand why it is that!
we cannot obtain the first quality of tea from China.
The first growth of the leaf is so delicate that it is
1 quite impossible to divest it of humidity by firingor
roasting, to sustain so long a voyage, besides the al
most certainty of utterly destroying its rich and
precious aroma. I can now understand why it is
that a Chinese official of wealth and dignity will
pay a hundred dollars a pound for tea grown in liis j
own country. The quantity of buds and early j
leaves, compared with a general gathering of leaves
fully grown, must be small indeed, and the value
> enhanced in proportion to the scarcity.
We have yet to learn the effects of different soils,
i climate, and locality, in the various tea growing
districts of our own country, both upon the growth
of the plant and the quality of the tea. We have
no reason to suppose that these effects will be less
j diversified here than they are in China; but gatlier
i ing instruction from the tea cultivators in China, Ja
va, and India, I think we have no occasion to culti
vate a poor soil in a tropical climate, or one border
ing upon it, and thus produce an inferior quality of
ted. We certainly ought to produce the best, and
none of the inferior quatities grown in China. In
many respects we possess natural and peculiar ad
vantages, which neither China, nor Java, nor India,
do or can possess. T)ur market, whether European
or American, lies at our door. We are spared the
expensive and injurious process of firing or roasting
the tea leaf to prepare it for foreign markets. We
hav e abundance of fme cheap lands, with all the di
versity of soil, climate, and aspect, that the plant
can require. Our transportation, facilitated by riv
ers, canals, and railroads, is so short to shipping
ports, that the actual cost will not be one quarter so
i much as itr is from the tea plantations of China to
j Canton, the port of shipment. More than all, eve
ry farmer, certainly in the middle and southern
States, may grow his own tea in his own garden,
i without the slightest interference with his ordinary
agricultural pursuits. With these exclusive privile
ges in our hands, if we do not cultivate our own tea,
then I think we ought to be tributary to those who
call us barbarians. Yours, truly,
JUNIUS SMITH.
An AroLOGY.—A lawyer in a neighboring county addres
sed the Court as “gentlemen,” instead of “your Honors.’’—
After he had concluded, a brother of the bar reminded him
of his error. He immediately rose to apologize, thus. 51ay
it please the Court—in the heat of debate, I called your Hon
ors gentlemen. 1 made a mistake, your Honors.” The
gentleman sat down, and we hope the Court was satisfied
with the explanation.
?is ft i©mft ijl limn.
From the Southern Cultivator.
Torn Culture.
Mr. Editor: —Having seen several articles on
| the proper mode of planting and cultivating Corn,
and as it is our most valuable crop, I have conclu
ded to give you my experience with the same.
In the first place, I differ with those who contend
that this valuable crop is not planted sufficiently
close, to produce as much corn as the land is capa
, ble of tearing. I believe that if the proper distance
: were observed in the hills, each way, that every
i stalk would produce an ear of corn. If this be a
; fact as it must be, as no stalk of corn is naturally
; barren, it will be seen, by making a calculation of
j the number of stalks on an acre of ground, and the
i number of ears to the bushel, that not much over
! half the stalks produce an ear. This, then is a con
clusive argument against close planting of corn.—
But there is no doubt the distance that corn should
be planted, depends greatly upon several circum
stances. The richness of the soil, the climate, the
; mode of culture, and the variety of corn, should all
j betaken into tlie account, in deciding the distance
|it should be planted. On rich bottom or upland,
we may say plant closer than it would be practi
; cable on poorer soil. The same kind of soil, in a
warm climate, will not bear as close planting as it
will in a colder climate. It is evident that if two
j persons, planting the same kind of land, the one
; breaking his land very deep and carefully draining
it, he would be able to plant much closer than the
, other, who plowed his land very shallow. A small,
I flinty stalk will bear much closer planting than a
large growing stalk.
Notwithstanding what lias been said, I am well
satisfied that, in this section, as well as in many
others, the corn is crowded entirely too close; the
average distance being about four feet each way,
two stalks in each hill. The average crop is about
twenty bushels; perhaps something less. I have, for
two years, made an experiment, to test the truth of
what Isay. In 1846,1 planted ten acres of poor
land in corn, 4 feet by 3, one stalk in each hill,
worked it as I did the rest, and when I gathered it
it yielded nearly as much as the rich land —the ears
being much better matured. Last year, I planted
ten acres of thinner land than tlie balance of my
crop, planting it 4 feet by 3, as stated above, work
ed in the same way as the rest of my crop, which
was planted four feet each way, two stalks in the
hill; and, when I gathered my crop, the piece plant
ed one stalk to the hill, made heavier corn and
more of it —which, to my mind, proves that close
planting is not the best. ‘ I believe that 4 feet by 3,
one stalk in the hill, is close enough for any of our
upland. I make, as an everage,from 20 t 025 bush
els per acre.
Yours, Uuly, J. AY. ATKINS.
Monterey , Butler county, Ala. Feb. 1850.
From the Savannah Georgian.
Anew Colony in Georgia.
AY e have had the pleasure of a visit from John
Blake, Esq., agent of the Georgia Emigration Com
pany, of London, who has been sent over for the
purpose of examining their lands in Irwin county,
in this State, and reporting the most favorable plan
for bringing them into immediate use. AYe have also
I been permitted to examine Mr. Blake’s report, and
have received from him much information as to the
views and designs of the company, which, if carried
out, must result in much good to our beloved State.
The compauy now owns about 150,000 acres of land,
in fine body in Irwin county, and Mr. B. has been
instructed to examine it particularly as regards its
adaptation to the culture of cotton, and the advan
; tages it possesses for the manufacture of that article.
; Mr. Blake strongly recommends the latter .project,
ailil ilistlv remarks that. Irwin Minntr inT nro .J‘
trie Desx cot ton growing sections of the fstate, and
; that Baker, Lee, Thomas, and Dooly, four of the
; counties adjoining it, would furnish more cotton than
the Company, however extensive would ever require,
I including a large proportion of long staple cotton.
| As to the quality of the lands belonging to the Com
! pany, lie remarks that, with reasonable industry,
; they can be made available for almost any purpose
1 the Company may desire; and that lie lias seen
* sugar made in Irwin county that would bring in the
I English or Irish markets thirty-eight shillings per
hundred pounds, and cotton, wheat, corn, oats, and
barley, growing most luxuriantly.
In noticing the climate of Georgia, Mr. B. re- j
marks, there is not a more delightful or healthy lo
cality in the world than that selected by the com
pany in Irwin county, entirely free from swamp and
all other local causes of disease, it possesses in its
present state all the appearances of a well tended
demesne, and will yield with care most, if not all of
the fruits grown in Italy, Spain, or any other conn- j
try in Europe.
As to its water power, Mr. B. says, there are seve- j
ral bold streams running through the lands, but he 1
does not deem them sufficient for manufacturing
purposes, and to supply that deficiency, he asserts j
that for centuries to come there will be an abundance
of timber for fuel and all other purposes. Pure wa
ter for drinking can be found within twenty feet of
the surface in all parts of the county, and the run-’
ning streams will furnish enough at all times for
purposes of irrigation.
Air. Blake strongly recommends the plan of,
sending out a colony composed of agricultural la
borers and factory operatives, as well as the imme
diate erection of towns at Barnard, Layola, and the
terminous on the Oemulgee of the Ocmulgee and
Flint River Rail Road. He also urges upon the
Company lhc completion of that railroad and enu
merates many of the advantages to be deriv
ed from its use when finished, lie says that by
putting up saw mills in the vicinity of each town the
timber that would otherwise be wasted on the lands
intended for cultivation could be rendered available
for building purposes, and the surplus offered for
sale in this and the European markets; also, that
many advantages would accrue from a division of
interest between agriculture and manufactures, as
each would in turn consume a large portion of the
products of the other. Mr. B. concludes his report
with a glowing description of the natural advanta
ges Georgia possesses over most of the other States
of the Union—the numerous facilities for reaching
our seaboard, and the safety with which vessels can
arrive and depart with their golden treasure at all
times and seasons. AVe hope that Mr, B’s report
will be favorably received by the company he repre
sents, and that all his anticipations of success and
happiness in Georgia may be fully realised.
The Culture of Flowers.
BY AGUICOLA.
I lie nature of a plant, generally, must be the
guide by which to act. No one would think of
flooding a cactus with moisture, nor of planting a
lil)’ in a bed of dry sand, yet it is well to make nu
merous experiments, for by this means alone can
any fact be clearly ascertained. All know that vines j
need trailing ; aquatic plants, moisture; and bulb
lous roots, rich earth; follow these first truths of na
ture, and the minor points will gradually be dis
covered.
1 n a flower garden the earth should be mellow
and rich ; its chief beauty consists in its arrangement.
A well designed garden should consist of oval, cir
cular, square, triangular and other shaped beds,
handsomely arranged, bordered with box or privet,
and intersected with gravel walks, and walking
grass paths. Great skill is required also in plant
ing the beds. Many varieties of early and late
blooming flowers should lie planted in each bed, in
order that there may be a continual succession of
bloom.
In the transplantation of plants, great care should
be laken not to place a plant in a soil different from
that from which it is removed. Many are verv neg
’ IWent concerning this. They remove a plant from a
loose soil and sunny spot to a place where the ground
is hard and damp, and then wonder why the plant
droops and dies. Plants possess a wonderful pow
er of accommodation, and by proceeding gradually,
almost their very nature may be changed; but one
should no more expect that a plant transferred from
a sheltered nook to an exposed situation should
flourish than that the animals of Africa should dwell
in Lapland.
Plants should seldom be showered by the water
ing pot, but their supply should be afforded them
Iby flats and under soil. Drenching is decidedly
hurtful, for though it may cool the earth and appa
| rently revive the plant, yet, the rapid evaporation
that “takes place from the leaves, will, generally,
cause the plant to languish. Plants, moreover,
should be watered very regularly, for nothing will
sooner destroy them than to soak them one day, and
then neglec t them for a week.
The general oversight of the garden requires as
; much care as skill. Sowing the seeds, transplanting,
watering, manuring, pruning, and cherishing the
plants, are pleasant duties; but the toil of the cul- I
tivator will be poorly paid, if he has not a strict care
for the appearance of his parterre. All gravel walks
! should he frequently cleaned and rolled. The borders
! sould be kept free from weeds, and neatly trimmed.
Every lawn and grass walk should be often mowed
and rolled, so as to give them a smooth and carpet
like appearance. Decayed plants, stalks, and dead
leaves should be freequeutly and carefully removed.
In tine, the cultivator himself will daily see matters
to which he should attend —vines to be trained ;
plants to be propped up, and others to be cut down;
seeds to be gathered; and a hundred things which
prudence, experience, and good sense will prompt j
him to perform. —Great West. j
Cljt Ulinnorisf.
“ Let dimpled mirth his temples twine,
With tendrils of the laughing vine.”
The Dublin Gent:
OR THE SELF-WAITING DINNER TABLE.
An Irishman fresh from the banks of the Lissy,
who was an fait at cutting a dash upon a small capi
tal, having graduated in that best of all schools for
forming such a character —the city of Dublin—met
with a paragraph in one of the papers about a “self
waiting dinner table,” and not being very deeply
versed in the abstruse mysteries of mechanics, was
somewhat puzzled to know its purpose. Passing by
a down-town restaurant, about 2 o’clock, I*. M., the
same day, he saw on a circular table, covered with a
snow-white diaper, a round of spiced beef, a cold
turkey, and a pair of cold roast chickens, with
bread, salt, knives, forks, napkins, and all the other
etceteras to constitute a comfortable cold dinner for
four. It was ordered by one of a party of that num
ber going out to the Regatta, who promised to re
turn between three and half-past four o’clock. Our
Dublin Gent having been perambulating the city,
taking a look at the lions, it being his first visit to
the Crescent, passed the restaurant again at three,
and there was still the plentiful supply of cold edi
bles. Being, truth to say, somewhat puzzled where
to dine, conjecture began to exercise itself in his
mind, to divine the cause of the tempting viands,
being so long untouched, w hich seemed to say,
“come and eat us.” An idea struck him, and to him
it was a happy solution to the mystery. He conclu
ded that the table which lie had descried through
the glass door of the restaurant was no other than
the self-waiting dinner table,” of w hich he had read
in the paper that morning. “And be me honor,’’
said he, soliloquizing, “a mighty tine invention it is;
B'WjUF - As
fur of a shocking bad -hat w ith a “wipe” which for 1
some time had not seen a mangle, adjusted the collar
of a not over-clean dickey, stroked down his goatee,
and assuming an easy, confident air, walked into the
restaurant, and seated himself at the round table
with round ot beet, turkey, chickens, Arc., before him.
Before he was well seated the obsequious waiter,
thinking he was one of the party for whom dinner
was ordered, was at his side, w ith an—“ Allow me
to take your hat, sir ? ” “ 1 hat hat’s a tile, me friend,’*
said the Dublin Gent, presenting it to him with
a dignified air.
“Ah, you is a funny gentleman, I see, sir,” said
the waiter, “to call your hat a tile.”
‘Acs, John,” said the Dublin Gent; “shall I call
you John ? —never knew a waiter with any other
name. The name in my opinion unfits a man for
any other calling. But as I was about to say, John,
some of the more vulgar of humanity carry bricks
in their hats—l wear a tile on me head. Now
about this dinner ? ’’
“ Been waitin’ this hour,” savs John.
“How excessively accommodatin'! ” said the Dub
lin Gent.
“Why, sir,” says John, “we are always accom
modatin’ to good customers.’’
“ Glad to hear it,” said the Ihiblin Gent; “I shall
patronise your establishment.” And during this
conversation he was dissecting the cold chickens in
a manner that would have done credit to a student
of Surgeon’s Hall.
“Anything to drink, sir,” said John.
“ Dhrink ’ ’’ said the Dublin Gent; “is that tcait
in’ for me too l “
“Es, sir,” said John, “it lias been in the coolers
for the last hour.”
Dublin Gent—“Then let me have a bottle of it,
me boy; the best claret, d’ye mind. Ye have Irish
whiskey, too, haven’t ye ? ”
John. —“Es, sir.”
Dublin Gent “Some of Joliny Power’s, I have
no doubt?”
John. —“Don’t zacley know, sir; I know its pow
erful strong, howsomedever.”
Dublin Gent.—“ Thin be the time ye hink I have
the claret drunk, providin’ I’m not drunk meself, as
well as the claret, bring me materials for a rousin’
tumbler.”
John. —“AVerry good sir; (going) you shall
’ave it.”
Dublin Gent.—“ John, a word with you. John re
turns.) John stop a moment; let me take a phre
nological glance at that Jove-like brow of yours, that
cerulean eye, that intellectual mouth, and that a
qucline nose. (After a pause.) John you may go.
You have not been born great, but you are bound
to achieve greatness! ”
John.—(Going.)—“That's an uncommon civil
gem’an.”
Dublin Gent, solus —(discussing the edibles be
fore him, meantime,) —“Well be the memory of me
honored ancesthors, I have heard, long before I put
me foot in this city, which be the same token, was
but the day before yesterday, that this was a great
country —surprising for its energy—wondherful for
its inventions! and, for this latther quality, 1 have
now-a proof before me, in this self-waitin’dinner ta
ble. Why, self-constituted philanthropists, in my
unhappy counthry, claimed great credit for inventin’
soup kitchens, by which the unfortunate pisantry
might be taught slow starvation ; hut here’s an in
vention —this self-waitin’ table—that furnishes a
dinner, free gratis for nothin’, such as the Duke of
Leinster might not blush at settin’ before his guests !
Talk of quanhers! but if I’m not in good quartkers
now may I never live to see the statue of ould King
William in College Green ! haven’t I the four quar
thers of two chickens before me ?—that’s eight quar
thers more; and is not that sixteen quarthers-—not
to spake of the round of beef, the wine, the w hiskey
punch in perspective, and other little trimmins ?
Whugh ! this is is quarthers fit for the mess of her
majesty’s own heavy dragoons.”
Thus he went on talking, not forgetting “the
avtin’and the drinkin.” Finally, remembering the
w hiskey punch, he called “John.” i
John.—“Es, sir—within a minute.
Dublin Gent.—“ John, what about those materials
or the whiskey punch ? ”
John—“ They’re a waitin’ for you sir. ’
Dublin Gent.—“Oh! they’re waitin’ for me, are
they ? Thin, of course, it would be downright im
politeness if I were to keep them a waitin’ tor me
any longer; so hurry them up, John, me boy ! but
see here, John, why do you say a w aitin’ —why do
you use the indefinite article *a,’ there, before the
participle ? ’’
John. —“I doesn't know, sir.”
Dublin Gent.—“ You doesn't know, there’s more
of it; John, my good fellow, I fear your early edu
cation has been villanously neglected —but, never
mind, bring me the materials ; 1 may take the trou
ble of instructing you in the rudiments of refined
literature one of these days.’’ (Sings and mixes his
punch.)
“Oh, fill the bumper fair,
Every glass we sprinkle
O’er the brow of care,
Smooths away a ”
The closing part of the last line w as lost in a loud
and simultaneous ironical whistle! ending with,
! “AYby, what the d—l have we got here i ” from
; four amateur aquatic sporting gentlemen —the very i
same who had ordered the dinner, and for whom it
had been prepared,
“Look here, old fellow,” said one of them, “you
appear to be taking it comfortable. Since you have
taken the liberty of sitting down to the dinner w hich
we had ordered and paid for, why did you not in- 1
vite some ofyour friends ? ”
Dublin Gent. —(In one of his blandest and most
blarneying tones.) —“Gintlemen, it will give me in
i finite pleasure to do that same thing now. Sit down,
j The fact is, that in puttin’ me legs undher your ma- j
! hogany, I find I committed a devil of a blunder,
j You, no doubt, would call it a bull. But never
! mind, I have a sovereign in my pocket yit —when
I that is gone I’ll never ow n allegience to another—sit
1 down, I say, there is plinty still for you all. Com
mince on the could turkey; it’s cut up to yer hand ;
and w hile ye’re operatin’ on that and a slice of the
| spiced beef, I’ll ordher a beefsteak at my own ex
pinse, and mix as delightful a round of punch for
ye as iver was drunk at Dunleary; I’ll give yet a
; song of my own composition into the bargain.”
“Well, boys,” says one of the quartette, addres- j
sing his associates, “what’s the use of making a
muss; he appears to be a jolly, good fellow, though,
doubtless, hard up —let us take him at his word.”
About this time the proprietor of the restaurant,
a Frenchman, came up, who, like John the waiter,
thought all along that the Dublin Gent was one of
those for whom the dinner was ordered; but, being
now undeceived, he began to look pickles at the
Dublin Gent, and to utter a series of sacra Irlandias
to him !
“O, shut up, old snuff skin,” said the Dublin Gent,
“if the gintlemen themselves feel satisfied, what right
have you to keep jabbering about the mistake, w hich
was nothing more, after all, than that 1 mistook the
dinner waiting for them, to be a self-waiting dinner,
or in other words, a dinner that was waiting for
me ! ”
The gentlemen were satisfied; they sat down and
made a most hearty dinner. The Dublin Gent, in
the meanwhile, amused them with anecdotes of
O’Connell, Lord Norbury, Curran, and others, and
wound up w ith a song, and a second round of w liis- ,
key punch. They parted, mutually delighted with
each other’s society; each one of the four gave the
Dublin Gent his card, telling him that whenever he
chose to call at tin ir address he’d find a dinner laid
for him on a self-waiting table!
Coaxing up an Expression.
j er’s shadows ere the substance faded, stepped into
a Dagurreotv pe establishment, recently to sit for
their “picters.”
J he lady gave precedence to her swain, who she
said, “had got to he tuck fust and raal natral.” He
brushed up his tow head of hair, gave a twist or
I two to his handkerchief, asked his gal if his sheert
collar stood about X, and planted himself in the
operator’s chair, where he soon assumed the physiog
nomical characteristics of a poor mortal in a dentists’
hands, and about to part with one of his eve teeth.
“Now dew look purty! ” begged the ladv, casting
at him one of her most languishing glances. The
picture was taken, and w hen produced, it reminded
t lie girl, as she expressed it, “jist how Josh looked
when lie got over the measles ! ” and as this was
not an era in her suitor’s history particularly worthy
ot their commemoration, she insisted that “he should
stand it again.” He obeyed, and she attended him
to the chair. “Josh ’ said she, “ jist look like smi
lin and then kinder don’t.” The poor fellow tried
to follow the injunction. “La! ’’ she said, “whv
you look all puckered up.’’ One direction followed
another, but w ith as little success. At last growing
impatient, and becoming desperate, she resolved to
try an expedient which she considered infallible, and
exclaimed, “I don’t keer if there is folks around.”—
She enjoined the operator to stand ready at his
camera, she then sat in the feller’s lap, and placing
her arms around his neck, managed to cast a shower
of flaxen ringlets, as a screen between the operator
and her proceedings, which however were bet raved
by a succession of amorous sounds w hich revealed
her expedient. AYhen this “billing and cooing’’ had
lasted a few minutes, the cunning girl jumped from
Josh’s lap, and clapping her hands, cried to the as
tonished artist—“ Now you have got him, put him
through!”
tUUUMIII I ll—■
futling it Thick.
Many years since, there did dwell in a certain
town, not a hundred miles from that far-famed place
where orthodox divines are fitted up for their pro
fession and calling, a certain I>. D. notorious for his
parsimoniousness, which would occasionally run into
the wildest extremes,
“Like a peach that's got the vallers.
With its meanness bustin out.**— llvsea Bigloyj.
One day this doctor of divinity chanced into a hat
store in the city, and after rummaging over the
wares, selected an ordinary-looking hat—put it on
his reverend head—ogled himself in the glass—
then asked the very lowest price of it—telling the
vender that if he could get it cheap enough he
thought he might buy it.
“But,” said the hatter, “that hat is not good
enough for you to wear —here is what vou want,’’
showing one of his Wst Wavers.
“Tis the Wst I can afford, though,” returned the i
theologian.
Well, there, doctor—l’ll make a present of that
Wst Waver, if you’ll wear it and tell your friends
whose store it came from. I'll w arrant you'll send
me customers enough to get my money back with
interest—you are pretty extensively acquainted.”
“Thank you—thank you !” said the doctor—lns
eyes gleaming with pleasure at raising a castor so
cheaply—how much may this Waver W worth J”
“We sell that kind of a hat for eight dollars,” re
plied the man of nap.
“And the other ?” continued the reverend gentle
man.
“Three.”
“The man of sermons put on the Waver—looked
in the glass —then at the three dollar hat.
“I think, sir,” said he —taking off the Waver, and
holding it in one hand as lie donned the cheap ‘tile,’
tie,” “I think, sir, that this hat will answ*er my pur
pose full as w ell as the Wst.”
“But, you’d Wtter take the Wst one, sir, it costs
you no more.”
“B-u-t —b-u-t,” replied the parson hesitatingly—
“l didn’t know—but —per-haps—you would as lief
I would take the cheap one—and leave the other—
and perhaps you would not mind giving me the dif
ference in a five dollar bill.'’
A Hoosier Attorney on Capital Ptitihhneit,
The following oration was delivered somewhere
at the west, by oae of the profession, who would
! seem to have quite an aversion to capital punish
j ment:
“May it pleflse your lordship and Gentlemen of
: the Jury —Tlie'case is as ele.tr as ice and as sharp to
j the feeling, as “no"’ from y-V.ir sweetheart. The
I Scripture saith, “Thou shall not kill;” now if vou
j hang my client, you transgress the command as
I slick as grease and as plump as an egg in a loafer’s
face. Gentlemen murder is murder- committed by
twelve jurymen, or by a humble individual like my
i client.
Gentlemen, I do not deny the fact of my cTiont:
having killed a man, but is that any reason why vou
should do so ? No such thing, GentlcfOeii.-
may bring the prisoner in guilty, the liangma* may
dohis duty, but will that exonerate you l Nostleh
tiling. In that ease you will be murderers.
Who is prepared among you for the brand of
Cain to be stamped on his brow to-day ? Who
freemen, who in this land of liberty and light ?
Gentlemen. I will pledge my word not one of
you has a bowie-knife ora pistol in pocket; no Gen
tlemen, your pockets are oderiferous with the per-’
fumes of cigar cases and tobacco; you can smoke the’
i tobacco of rectitude in the pipe of a peaceful consci>
| once! but hang my unfortunate client and the scaly
aligators of remorse will gallop through the inter
i nal principles of the animal vertebra, and youranato*
! mica! construction is turned into a railroad fertile
grim and gory goblins of despair. Gentlemen, be
ware of committing murder. Beware 1 say.
Remember the man who attempted to steady the
ark, and tremble. Gentlemen, 1 adjure by the A
merican Eagle, that whipped the game-cock of crea
tion and now sits roosting on the magnetic telegraph
of time’s illustrious transmigration, to do no mur~
der! and lastly, Gentlemen, if you ever expect to
wear 1 oots made of the free hide of the Rocky
Mountain buffalo, and to sum up all, if you even ex
pect to be anything but a set of sneaking, loafing,
rascally, cut throated, braid< and, small ends of humani
ty, whittled down to indistinctibility, acquit my cli
ent and save your country.”
The prisoner was acquitted.
A Rich Love Letter.
April Ist, 1850.
Most transcendent and egregious Miss *.
Would that my pen
were dipped in the dyes of the rainbow, plucked
from the wings of an angel, and wended with the
prayer of an infant's wit!—then might 1 expect to
paint the burning brightness of that flame which
thy thrilling eloquence has enkindled. Thy sun
beam of sentiment! soft moonlight of in< and sty !
thy voice is as gentle a- the first stirring of an in
fant’s dream—thy step light as the silken footed zeph
yr which fanned with the wing of perfume the
new born j aradise —thine < yes are two brilliants sto
len from a sera] hie crown —tliy lips are riven rose
buds, moistened with the honeydew of affection—
thy words are like drops of amber —thy teeth ar
snowy flakes sot in a 1* dos verbena. Sweet spirit
of cam] hor,doul le distilled essence of homopathy,
se ur-crc ut of my hoj es, sorce of my thought*, butter
milk catsup of my fancy, tiger lily of innocence,
logwood of perfection—tlieu art the- julep of my
dreams, ginger pop of mywnkiftg \isioiis, and cher
ry bounce of my recollection. Thou art harmless
as a tiger. 1 andsome as the elephant, meledious as
the lion, meek as the hyena, spotted as the lee>pard,
bright as the straggling rav of shivering, sneezing
sunlight, ] assing the mortal e-rae-ks of an olel barn
loft, or a greased streak of blue lightning churned
I to consistency in the milky wav, and peppered with
a show er of turnip topes, come ts and pereexm root*
-“**-’* ‘* ‘• ---- -* the soul!
pickled pumpkin! preserved crab of the garden
llcsp>cr,de. Thy glance is as melting as old butter
in summer time—thou art a drop of water from the
I cup of the gods, or juice of a rotten pine apple.—
Aberdeen Independent. GREGORY.
Anecdotes from my Scrap Book of 1701.
Selected fur the Georgia Citizen.
Saturday Mght not Holy Time.
Strong Argc.vkxt. —There* was once an illiter
ate but wealthy man in New Jersey by the name of
licach. lie rcsieled in a remote corner of a Presby
terian parish, of which Pr. Dickinson wa* the pas
tor. It hap; cued that a minister of the Church of
England came that way and organized anew parish,
in the limits of which Mr. Reach was included.—
Highly delighted w ith the new order of things, he
became very much devoted to the minister and to
the novel services of the church. I Lis zeal led him
to make a visit to his former minister, 1 >r. 1 >. for the
purpose of showing the latter his error. “J have
come Pr. I fickinsou, to tell you that you arc w rong
sir. - ’ “All! in what am lin error, Mr. Reach !" —
“AY by, in keeping Saturday night as holy time." —
“You will have thegooduess B’onto tell me what
authority you have for sayingwjjbr Wft-i'S *bis • ’
‘A\ hy, the Bible, sir, savs, l the eve9* n nd the mor
ning were the first day’ Don’t you see that“l
see the text indeed, but cannot ] crccive what War
ing it has; please name another, that shall W more
obvious to my understanding.” “Well sir, ‘/or as
Jonah was three days and three nights in the whale's
belly, so shall the son of man be three days and three
nights in the heart of the earth’ Then, sir, I pre
sume you understand that ?” “No sir, l confess. I
cannot see what either of these texts have to do with
Saturday night.'’ Possible! what, the great Dr.
Dickinson —President of a College, and cannot see
; the force of that text “Xo, sir, 1 confess lam not
able to understand your idea in quoting it.” “I
wih you to understand this thing distinctly, and I
will therefore quote to you one more text. i on
these t /co hang all the law and the prophets ,’ there
fore it is the will of God, that all Lawyers and
: Prophets should be hung. Don't you see that ?” ‘‘l
| must give you the argument, Mr. Beach, I confess \
that lam not able to argue with you.” Mr. B. rc
i tired proclaiming his victory over Dr. D. telling his
astonished neighbors that the latter acknowledged
to him that he was notable to hold an argument with
! him.
Whenever we see a man of this description who
quotes much scripture which he does not under
stand, and thinks that he thereby refutes the propo
sitions of his opponent, we generally feel disposed to
tell him this story, and give him the argument x
Anecdote of an Ignorant Lady. —A Lady*
I whose beaut)’ rather than good sense, engaged her
a companion in life, who held a public office, in the
beginning of the late war, was in company with a
number of women when the times were the topic of
conversation, and it was suspected by one, that the
lady’s husband was in favor of the tory interest, but
she, with great spirit, contradicted it, asserting that
“she knew and all the neighbors knew, and many
of them could not but know, that her husband was
one of the greatest libertines in all that part of the
country.”
OR TIIE
WAR-PATH AND ITS INCIDENTS.
A Story of the Creek Indian Disturb*®*
ces of 1130.
BY W. C. IIODGES.
A supply of this new and interesting novel by a
young gentleman of Columbus, Ga. has been received and
will be kept for sale (Wholesale and Retail) at this office.—
Also at the Book Stores. Persons at a distance w ill k* M
three copies sent by mail or otherwise, on receipt of $3 . in
gle copies, 40 cents.
Macon, Mareh 21, ISOO *
