Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

f WIT AND HUMOR, t k (fr ;v .... IP ' Joke* oad WHfldMi Fm ths Conic Psfsf*. MOT EMOVOH. |U*7 she i* • poem— likely that may be; ( nto my Borrow i oreme to me. r AT Ab blacksmith die of, imule." 1(8 HAV)[ junob. $’■ the' best kiud of fly- Inbacka. UIFFKHP.NCE, Pho'a your friend ? -Friend! That ian’t a friond. ny wife. MinnT HE rlRATIFIBD. He—Wlmt is lie nidging ? Hhe—“Let me like a soldier fall.” He—If I only hnd a gun ! A FIXED HTAR. Johnnie—What is a (ixod star, mother ? Mother—One that linn a five-year antrajt with a responsible manager, my dear. THE MEI.TIMO MOOD. “Do you believe in the good ofTocts of laughter ?” “Of course; if I can get a man to laughing I can nearly alwnyH borrow •B from him.” QOrTH. \ Mrs. Dnmjohn—I married you for hr love, and 1 ilid not get it. JK v Ilumjuhn -Well, wo are quits then. ’ inairh-d jXiU for uionuy, and I did i', M get it. ' VERY PLAIN. Ln—1 wonder whnt the meaning of Vj.picture is ? The youth and the [,'len are in a tender attitude. (he—Oh, don’t you see V Ho has . usked her to merry him, and she kceepting him. How sweet I What foes the art st call the picture ? Hu (looking about)—Oh, I see 1 It’s .fhwritten on a curd at the bottom, K.V'Sold I” to tie DANOEROUH INSINUATION. cant.* Nellie—I know that I atii not per- smlVyi'n 0 *. \ re “l' Z8 that I have my faults. vtsv, (, oo(ge—Yob; that’s so. ' ’"Vi 2 NeUie (indignantly)—I have, eh ? i like to know what they are. Just tnv name one. L'- r . THR EXCEPTION. * Ho—I,had a scheme so the fellow 1,' -could inuke $10,000 us oasily as turn ing over his hand, but the fool wouldn’t go into it, Hho—Then a fool and his money aro net always so easily psrtetl ufter all? VjSOT WORRIED ABOUT niS ANOESTORS. ' “I can trace my ancestors hack to a hundred years before William the - Conqueror. ” “Well, I can’t traoo miuo that far, but I haven’t the slightest doubt that some of them were living oven earlier than that. 1 ’ DEFIANCE. He—If I should kiss you, what would you do ? Hho (startled)—I—I never measura an emergency until it arises. He—If this emergency arose now, bow would you meet it ? Sho (courageously)—Face to face. NONE IN BTOOE. Lady (to dog funnier)—What kinds of dogs have you for sulo ? I). F.—Scotch terriers, Chinese pugs, French poodles and English setters. Lady—Hove yon nny of those Ocean greyhounds that l have read about ? EASILY REMEDIED. Mamma—I am afraid that young Wilder will not maku you a good hus band, Clara ! Clara—Why not, mamma? .Mamma—It seems to me that he ratbor neglects his personal appear ance. Clara—Yes, that’s trno, mamma, and I'm glad you mentioned it. I'll see that he makes his personal ap- pearnneu here every evening after this, insti ad of only twice a week. HOME, SWEET HOME. “My brain is on fire !” tragically exclaimed Mrs. Hobkius as sho throw herself down upon the sofa. “Why don’t you blow it out ?” ab sent-mindedly replied Bobbins, deep ly absorbed in the evening paper. And then he dodged a Hying hair brush. The First Trolley Watch Dog. Mr. J. W. Knelpschield, of Olympus, Fa., is a genius. All Jersey commuters who own dogs and chickens will please study Iris example. He, too, Is a chick en raiser, and down around Olympus, as, Indeed, everywhere, the chicken thief Is the bugbear of householders. He used to save his chickens by station ing his dog at the coop, until ono night thieves broke into his house. How to use the dog to guard both house and chicken coop was the question. He solved It ln a strictly up to date way. He got the Idea from a trolley. He bought a lot of wire and stretched it from his back door to the chicken house. From this he suspended an iron pulley with the dog’s collar. Now,when the dog runs, he fellows the trolley. When a stranger approaches the house the dog comes up on the run by his own troilcy. Should the chickens be ln danger of a raid, the dog trolleys down to the coop. The dog trolley works like a charm, and the dog seems to enjoy the fun with as much satisfac tion ae his master, who sleeps peace fully all night, blissfully Indifferent to night marauders as long as the trolley watch dog is awake.—New York Jour nal. , ' A Virtue and A Vice. VanIty and a proper regard for the feeling; of other, should both urge you to get rid ot tliatnlftgUBtiog Nkln illsufiao. Whether It bo a simple ahra-lon. a chap or r burn, or wheth er It la * chronic ease of Ectmia. Tetter or Ringworm. Tettortno will poaltlvely. Infalli bly our* It. Cure It an it will .tay oared, too. •Od a boi at drug atores, or by mall for wi ernto la caah or stamps from J. T. Shuptriue, Savannah, (la. g loo Tor New Value*! T..e Silxsr Seed Co. want HU i Pi bln namcH for their 1? Inch long corn and White Oat prodigy. You no win this 140(1 es-ily Catalogue tells all about It. Seed potatoes only ft.AOa h rrel. Send This Notice and 10 Cents in Bt»mfs to Jobu A. B.lser 8e»d Co,.La Crease, Win . and get their greni seed cttalogu* an 1 II new farm Herd a-iinpli*. Includh'g abovo corn and oata, prshivcly wortlwglO.OO, In got a start. Bond io-d«y. to-dayWlr I a c.9 America’s 4 Greatest Medicine Greatest, JP-causo In cases ot Dyspepsia It has a touch like magic, which Just lilts the spot, brings relief to the sntieror, and fires tone and strength to the stomach as no other modlclne docs. Dyspepsia and Liver Trouble “For many years I suffered almost non- Ituntiy with dyspepsia complicated with liver oomplalnt. I tried first ono thing and then another and sometimes resorted to rogular medical treatment, bat derived no substantial benefit. I read about flood's Harsaparilla and Fills and concluded to glvathem a trial, and they effected a per manent oure." F. Choates, 111 W. Boule vard, New York, N. Y, Bemembet Hood’s parilla Is Amorloa’s Greatest Medicine. $1; six Jor $6. ■ Bold by all druggists. Got only Hood's. 5100 FOR YOUR PHOTOGRAPH. PROPOSITION 1. SQUAW TINS WINE CERTIFICATES. Write us lit Hot* long you have used or •old*t>r Simmons ftquaw Vine Wine. 2nd Stale Diseases It cured. 8d Glvo names of tboee It cured. 4tb State the difference letween its strength and aotlon and the strength and action of McKlree's Wine of Cardut. On recolpt of letter enclosing re* cently taken Photograph we will send you a •1.U0 Dottlo Squaw vino Wine (FRKF.). PROPOSITION % LITER MEDICINE CERTIFICATES. Write us 1st How long you have known, used or hold Dr. >1. A. Simmons Liver Medi cine. 2nd State Diseases It cured. 8d Give names of those cured. 4lb Bute the differ* cnoe between it* strength and action and the strength and action of J. H. Beilin Sc Cc.'s “Liver Regulator" and the Chatta nooga Medicine Co.'s "Black Draught.’' both of which contain Woody llulbs of Roots and Stems of Herbs, and have sold at about 0 cents nor package, and should not retail at over 10 cents If consumers are not Imposed upon, while Dr. M. A. hlmmons Liver Medi cine, made from the purest and most care fully selected Drugs, rcgtirdlensof cost, with the IJultiB of the Roots and Stems of the Herbs by our secret process extracted and thrown away, cannot beaold ot less than €5 cents. The reason of the difference la this: On June 80th, 1833. the Supremo Court enjoined J. II. Zellln Sc Co, from manufact uring and aelling mcdicino tinder tho name of "I)r. Simmons' Liver Medicine." Zeillnsanswer to our hill said, tho medi cine was designod ua "cheap negro un«li- cine for tho n< groesof tho Mississippi Val ley." And Zellni’s manager testified In the case, and Zellln’aadvertisements eald "that all tho Liver Medicine they makuUnmdo by tho same formula." What more conclusive evidence could there ho that all their Liver Medicine Is "cheep negro medicine*" Again, the United States Gout*. In the Zellln case nt Knoxville, Tcnn.,enjoined the old proprietor! of the article now called "lUeck Draught" from perpotroting fraud by using the words constituting our trade name, and "Black Draught" was not known till after 187ft j vet they falsely advertise that it was established in 1840, and filch our trade by allowing their customers to untruthfully represent it as thoaaroe ns our genuine arti cle, thoy giving color of truth to the de ception by publishing the ptoture of a Dr. Simmons on tholr wrapper, thereby asso ciating their article with our Dr. M. A. Sim mons' Liver Medicine, which he established In 1840, and every package of which nas homo his picture since IflaO. On receipt of letter enclosing a recently taken Photograph we will mail you a 91.00 Package Liver Mcdiolne (FREK). C. F. SIMMONS MED. CO., St. Louis, Mo. d1 I 1m. aid digestion. 26c. ill 9 Ek. - •h S m His ^finest fin Earth EN AND WOMEN WANTED TO TIIAYKL for old established house. Per- I manant position. f4u per month and all ex- pauses. P.W.ZIIC«LRR k UP., Locust St., Phila. Am. N, U. No. 12, H<H M! OF MISLEADING ADVERTISEMENTS- tier the laws of .Manama; not a thousand miles H’A'rtv. If you want nnr thing lu tho way of Cycle goods, wo e n ihousu you. Mir. "Jfl aud second “Birmingham” $q>.—(luaranteed you vet a wheel that others soil Tor 8?‘.ui. You save agent*' and sub agents' coiiiiuImI >.i* Mall orders locolVi prompt Attention • tin ou >r write The Loosley Cycle Company, Scuund Avo., (opp. P. O.) Uiiiminoiiam. Ai.a fSEND FOR k BICYCLE models, bait makes, 01L?B to tin. Seal appr-ovttl irdAowt a ctmt pawmint. Wr 6o.h ef wheel to eur sgentN. Wrlta for our sew ,plaa "llow to Kara a BDycle" and make \iaoasj. aPtClAL TIUS W KBK-S0 tdfU imSa tl models rsllgntly shepwora], tio.ls jaoh. "Was4|HB(t A wheel, M a souvenir book of arl, I'HKC fur stamp wblls they last. K. F. MKAD CYCM'. 4’0>II»ANY. C'blcaao. COTUP PUITEBS, ATTENTION! POSITIYKLY All GENUINE SEED OF T1IE OELEURATED JACKSON AFRICAN .:. LIMBLESS COTTON IS OWNED BY THIS COMPANY. nLANTERS ARE WARNED NOT to psrehos* £ «f others offering seed claiming It to bo of this wonderfully prolific variety, as no eecd not In our possession, or sold without •ur trade mark, ae registered in U. S. Patent Office, can be authenticated as pure and genuine. Sni fir oir Quit Offsrts Cottsn Pinters. AGENTS WANTED. JACKSON AFRICAN' .:. LIMBLESS COTTON CO., 9 1-2 Peachtree St., Atlanta, da. J Cotton, like every other crop, neecU nourishment. A fertilizer containing nitro gen, phosphoric acid, and not less than 3% of actual Potash, will increase the crop and im prove the land. Our books tell all about the subject. They •re free to any farmer. GERMAN KALI WORKS, 93 Nassau St., New York. Climbing Up^Down Stairs G ARRYINO heavy burdens, washing-, Iron ing, scrubbing and other laborious duties are productive of an enormous amount of suflbrlngamong women who are already weak and prostrated by the ravages of female die- eases. The performance of these heavy labors is obligfcboQr to muny women, but the suffer ing Is not. This feature of the household bur dens may soon be removed if women will only take the trouble to learn how. A few bottles of SERSTLE’S *"»■"( Qi, J 1 , P i |uaa will regulate all menstrual Irregularities, and restore the entire female organism to its proper condition. Take St. Joseph's Liver Regulator in small doses if there is any ten dency to constipation or indigestion. & BED-FAST FOR A YEAR. , Geratle'aJFemale Pantcsi wife of one of our ( ~ medicine tins cured imale Panacea, has made a most wonderful cure on th# tenants. She had been bed-fast for twelve mouths, but Tour rd tier and she is loud in her onuses of same. HIXON BROS., Claiborne, Ala. Get this medicine flrom your drui ■end us $1.00 and we will send you a L. GERSTLE & CO., Props., st. If he does not keep it, ttle, all charges paid. Chattanooga, Tenn. ....Selections from our..., SPRING * STYLES Wjtl Hake Yuur Appear ance Faultless We have a magnificent || ne of Men's and Boys' Clothing, Hats, Shoes and (tents' Furnishings lor you to select from, end at prices that will surprise you. YOU HAVE ALL TO OAIN BV VISIT- INQ OUR STORE FOR SPRINU WEAR. J. BLACH & SONS. One Price Cash Clothiers, 19U-1914 First Ave. Birmingham, Ala. 311 N. College St., Nashville, Tcnn. AGENTS;«J2ff„„. •3 tfoii* lev "123' "oBICYCLE Full,guarantee, snipped .nrwhete on approval, dlrtet Iran .ur factory. ALPINE CYCLE CO., C11 No Capital NfftDCD. OPIUM 'INOINNATI. O and Liquor Habit cured'in 10 to ao dav*. No pay till cured. Dr. .1. L.8tephen*, Dept. A, Lebanon, Ohio. DR. O. T. DOZIER. SPECIALIST, Southern Medical Diopeniary Chronic, Nnrvouv, Blood, Skla. Genitourinary, Private DIs ea-ses, and all dlveoaea peculiar to women, ipotoncy. impedi menta to morrlave, aud all dla- ensov and dlHoriMraof adelieute nature of either aex aucceavnil- ly treated at Dlapenaary or by nsell. Hook for men only, and question blanks for men and women sent froe. Cure aueran- Dr. Doeler can he relied upon to treu dlaeaoea la the moat sueceaaful manner. (Alabama Christian Advocate.! HI* (Dr. Dottier’*) profeotlonal standlmr I* unim peachable and hi* character as a gentleman aud citizen Is above reprouoh. Address DR. O. T. DOZIKR, Cor. 3d Ave. and 19th St, Birmingham. Ala. FOR 14 CENTS We wiah to gala 1*0,000 new eas terner*. and h*aee offer rkf ia Day Radish, lie [. girlv ipriBf Tara ip, &60 \**- lfeifkeS Beit," {to inaarok On mabsr, He l :: 5l?o'!JyV. 0 teli« ik 1 " Jaaibo OUat Onion, lie i " Brilliant Flower Seed*, Uo Wertk ll.M, fer 14 eeaU. Above 10 pkg*. worth gl.00, we will mail yoa free, together with oar , greet Plant and Seed Catalogue . upon receipt of thie notice and I4c. J eoetage. Wa invite roar trad* and • anew when job once try Balzvr’e 4 eeed* yoa will never get along with- , , eat them. PwintwenatJl.50 1 __ I w Uhl. Catalog alone to. Na A c » JOUR a. SAUK! tilt CO., LA CBOUI, WlV. , RODS for tracing or locuting Gold or Rllvei Ore, kmt or burled tre»8iiroH. 31. II, Fowler, Box 337, houhtlugtou, Conn In reply to numerous private in quiries from its tremen dous clien tage the “Western Review or Commerce” —the scien tific publica tion having the largest circulation in the west —caused to be nuvde a most thor ough com parison be tween all the better class of cy cles avail, able in open market. As a re sult of tho expert and the criti cal exami nation of 37 different makes, and without any prejudice, this publica tion unhesi tatingly an nounces in favor of the LOVELL DIAMOND over all com- “LOVELL DIAMOND” Takes Precedence Over All Other Wheels. fUky Mttt f. itftU GiaPAKY-UmH PeAso./" 'Awrgei C. C*rt*r, Praa.. .Boston, February 11,1890. The loatorn Review of Comaarcoi Chicago, Ill. Dear air:—Your letter of Fobruary 7 received' In roply will •ay that we want to thank you for oamo and would also eay that thi* 1* the first tine we ever knew of a paper of your class having the courage to cone right out and atate a fact, and wo want to eay right hore that we d9n’t think you have mado any mietake, for 'the goods will back you up in the otatementr fo are willing to • take our business reputation of over 57 year* that the Lovell, Diamond is the best bicycle built, not only ln this country but in any other. Just as eoon ae you issue the papers with this article in, which you oent us unsolicited and unknown to ua, and in your letter wero kind enough to say that it would be printed and that you aakod no advertisement, gifts or anything of tho kind,—wo should be pleased to have you send us a fow copioe by mail. Again thanking you for your kind lottor and always wiehing you tho very best of succoss, we remain Yours roepoctfully, Dictated by B. S. L. sea*ffSTw*y Ammm ...UTAOUSnOB iMl... Ciitwial tyspmrtmsnu LmsI A4tIm «t»aa U ear •aseiulterelreecf cfeene. WESTERN REVIEW of COMMERCE avo. c. CAtrm pnb. P. BRADBURY, Trees*' C. B. FOOTS. •*('/. / *» •• Bradbury Publishing Co, 32i?229 DEARBORN STREET. Chicsjo, r.t, Uth,.»9EI. John P. Uvill Araa’CS. Boston, Italic Oentleaen: Your wtteoiawd favor of th« 11th Inst, to hand and content# tooted. Ve thank you for your kind words of appreciation. Ve Bean Just what we say, that for careful and scientific conatruc-i tlon and real practical value tho Lovell Diamond i* undoubtedly the best whcol made. In our investigation we examined 37 leading) Bakes, and we were satisfied after most thorough teste that we were Justified in giving the Palm to the 1 ‘Diamond." Considering we were not influenced in any way by financial con~ • ider&tione, not oven in the form of advertising patronage, you,. Bay rest assured that the decision was unprejudiced. Wishing you «uccobs in the coming season, we are Youra very truly, BBpIflfg^CWHttCE John P. Lovell Arms Co., M’fr’s, BOSTON, flASS., U. 5. A. BOSTON STORES: 147 Washington Street. 131 Broad Street. 121 Massachusetts Avenue. Get our Gatalope “Famous Agents wanted in every city and town. If none in yours, write to us today. BRANCH STORES: Worcester, Mass. Providence, R. I. Pawtucket, R. I. Bangor, Me. Portland, Me. the World” of our nearest agent or sent by us on application. Among other complimentary remarks the “WesternRk- view ok Com merce” says in its issueof Feb. 25th, 1898 : “Our repre sentatives have therefore given close and criti cal attention to the claims of all the lending makes of cy cles as found in their cata logues, and as presented by agynts and in terested wheel men. As a re sult of thor ough and prac tical tests and examinations, the unanimous verdict of our experts was in favor of the ‘Lovell Dia mond,’ manu factured by the John P. Lov ell Arms Co., Boston, Massa chusetts, and was bused up on general and symmetrical excellence in every part of a bicycle, cou pled with cor rect and scien tific design.”