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FORSYTH COUNTY NEWS-WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 7, 1987
MOVIE From page 1
onstration. Most of the filming will be
done on location in Georgia and For
syth County, Williams said, but added
that producers are also making ef
forts to do some work in Birming
ham, Ala., and Macon.
“Hopefully it will show the pro
gress that can grow out of racial
confrontation,” Williams said late
last week.
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Chuck Blackburn, the Forsyth
County martial arts instructor who
originated he idea of a brotherhood
walk to commemorate Martin Luther
King Jr.’s birthday, said representa
tives from the New York production
company contacted him in ‘February
or March” about the movie.
Blackburn said he had received
another proposal by a Los Angeles
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dysfunctional homes learn how not to
trust because of the hurt they suffered
from trying to love a parent who could
not adequately return that love. As a
result, they bring that inability with
them into their adult lives. “Our lives
are so contaminated by our history
that we don’t see, we don’t hear clear
ly.” Thus the negative patterns
learned from that history are repeat
ed over and over again.
White herself is a prime example of
this syndrome and how it can carry
over from generation to generation.
Her grandfather was an alcoholic,
which caused her grandmother to de
velop the disease of co-dependency,
meaning she took on all the responsi
bility for taking care of her family,
which in turn allowed her husband to
continue to drink. Her grandmother
passed on this role as the long-suffer
ing “victim” to White’s mother, who
in turn passed it on to White.
"Growing up in my house there was
a basic script that you learned,”
White said. “That is, men are jerks
and women are victims. You live the
rest of your life collecting evidence
that that is so.”
Like the patients she counsels,
White did not realize the significance
of her past until well into her adult
years, and not until after a very un
happy marriage. Only after she be
came a counselor herself did she be
gin to understand the source of her
problems.
The “script” that most children
from dysfunctional homes learn con
sist of three basic rules, Barrett said.
“You learn not to talk about your
problems out of an extreme loyalty to
the family to keep the outside world
from seeing what’s going on. You
learn not to trust and you learn never
to express how you feel. When you
take those three things away, that sets
you up to learn how not to deal with
(intimacy.”
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film company who wantedsto pro
duce a similar movie, but that project
‘never panned out at all.”
“Every time something hits the
news, There’s someone wanting to
make a movie about it,” Blackburn
said in a telephone interviewsfrom
Orlando, Fla., where he moved after
the marches. “I’m trying not to get
She added that such children often
take on a tremendous amount of re
sponsibility in the family. They tend
to think that if they do or don’t do this
or that, then maybe Mommy will stop
drinking or Daddy will stay at home.
“You see three basic personality
types develop,” Barrett said. You
have what we call the “hero.” This is
a child who believes that if he excels,
then everything will be OK.
Then there’s the “scapegoat” who
thinks that if he can get the family to
pay enough attention to him, then that
will pull the family together. Often
this type will get into trouble because
he thinks that negative attention is
better than none.
“The last is what we call the ‘lost
child,’ a child who tries to be so quiet
that no one will know he’s there so as
to not create any additional strain.
This child usually has the most prob
lems because he has learned never to
express his feelings.”
The end result of all this, Barrett
said, is that “children are not expect
ed to be children. They lose their
childhoods.”
These children also learn how to
take reponsibility for everyone but
themselves. “You spend so much
time trying to figure the other guy out,
you never stop to think about yourself.
Always looking on the outside for the
answers instead of on the inside.”
White added that such children of
ten grow up addicted to the chaos and
crisis they knew as children. She said
for these people crisis is synonymous
with excitement while stability is con
sidered “boring.”
This is particularly evident in rela
tionships, she said. “The women I see
tend to pick men that support their
belief system (i.e. that love is chaos
and pain). Someone could say to you,
‘I love you with all my heart,’ but in
your disease, you couldn’t hear that.
You would see him as too boring, too
nice.”
For children from alcoholic homes,
this type of emotional addiction can
be coupled with a chemical addiction
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too excited about it ither way. If it
turns out, great. If it doesn’t I won’t
worry about it. ‘ One thing Forsyth
County taught me is don’t expect
anything.”
Blackburn aid he signed a contract
authorizing Highgate pictures to por
tray him in the movie, and flew to
Atlanta for a six-hour meeting with
screenplay writers in August.
to drugs or alcohol. Statistics indicate
that a child from a home where both
parents drank runs a 75 to 85 percent
chance of becoming an alcoholic. If
one parent drank, the risk is around 50
percent. Even if such children don’t
become alcoholics themselves, the
chances are quite high, according to
Barrett, that they will marry one.
For this reason, there is a growing
number of support groups being es
tablished for adult children of alcohol
ics, as well as for people from other
types of dysfunctional homes.
But admitting a need for such a
group can be, for the dysfunctional
person, an intensely terrifying self-re
alization. According to Green, the
root of this fear is finally having to
face those feelings bottled up for so
long. “You really have to confront
your anger and your pain,” she said.
“You also have to finally look at your
self and take responsibility for
yourself.”
Contingent in this process may also
be the painful recognition that the per
son may have to free themselves from
their current relationship in order to
help themselves. Green said she has
seen this happen often, particularly in
marriages where one spouse seeks
help but the other refuses. She also
said that in some cases children have
to learn how to emotionally distance
themselves from their parents in or
der to maintain their own emotional
survival.
The difficulty of the healing process
prompted White to name the free ther
apy groups she runs the “Children of
Courage.” ‘‘The people who go
through this process display courage
in its truest, rarest form,” she said.
All three counselors agreed that
though painful, therapy can offer par
ticipants the first real emotional free
dom they’ve ever had. “It can be an
enormous relief,” Green said. “Ther
apy explains the problem to them. It
takes away a lot of the guilt about
‘why I am the way I am.’ It also helps
them to see others like themselves.”
Cumming
Mental Health Week
extends helping hand
Mental illness is a reality for some
29.4 million Americans who will suf
fer from a mental or emotional disor
der or substance abuse addiction in
any given six-month period. During
Mental Illness Awareness Week, Oct.
4-10, the Forsyth County Mental
Health Department says that recov
ery is also a reality.
For example: nine in 10 stricken
with major depression or anxiety can
recover; seven in 10 diagosed manic
depressive can return to normal
lives; five in 10 with schizophrenia
can improve and one in four can
recover.
Mental Illness Awareness Week is
observed to help people learn more
about disorders that afflict one out of
every five Americans, according to
Cliff Rigby, director of the North
Georgia Community Mental Health
Center. “Each year, the total costs of
mental illness exceed those for can
cer and heart disease. This obser
vance has been established to
encourage people to recognize the
signs and symptoms of mental illness
and to realize that these disorders are
highly treatable.”
Signs of mental illness frequently
Treatment centers
are numerous in area
The following is a list of mental
health, counseling and support group
services available in Forsyth and sur
rounding counties:
Mental Health Centers:
• Forsyth County lOl E. Maple
Street, Cumming, 887-0160.
• Gwinnett County system Law
renceville Mental Health Services,
175 Gwinnett Drive, Lawrenceville,
963-8141; Norcross Mental Health
Center, 6063 Peachtree Parkway,
Suite 101 A, Norcross, 449-9310.; Bu
ford Mental Health Center, Grenard-
Watson Building, 181 Bona Road, Bu
ford, 945-4978.
• Hall County Mental Health Di
vision, 315 S. Enota Street, Gaines
ville, 535-5403.
Support Groups:
• Al-Anon Family Groups for Adult
ChUdren of Alcoholics: Lawrenceville
AI-Anon Adult Children, meets 8
p.m., Sundays, 285 Bom Street, Gwin
ett Room; Cumming AI-Anon,
887-2120
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appear in the late teens to mid-20s
and include one or more of the follow
ing:
• Marked personality change over
time.
• Confused thinking; strange or
grandiose ideas.
• Prolonged severe depression; ap
athy; extreme highs and lows
mood swings.
• Excessive anxieties, fears or sus
piciousness; blaming others.
• Withdrawal from society, friend
lessness; abnormal self-centered
ness.
• Denial of obvious problems;
strong resistance to help.
• Thinking or talking about suicide.
• Numerous unexplained physical
ailments; marked changes in eating
or sleeping patterns.
• Anger or hostility out of propor
tion to the situation.
• Delusions, hallucinations, hearing
voices.
• Abuse of alcohol or drugs.
• Growing inability to cope with
problems and daily activities such as
job, school or personal needs.
For more information or help, call
the Forsyth County Mental Health
Department, 887-0160.
Meets 8 p.m., Tuesdays, First Baptist
Church, 115 Church St.
• Alcoholics Anonymous: Cum
ming Tuesday, 8 p.m., First Baptist
Church; Wednesday, 8 p.m., Home
maker’s Building; Friday, 8 p.m.,
Homemaker’s Building; Saturday, 8
p.m., First Baptist Church; Sunday, 9
a.m., Homemaker’s Building. Con
tact persons: David, 889-1683; Wil
liam 887-7614; Allen, 887-4851; Robert,
887-3087; Carole, 889-0916; Marilyn or
BiU, 889-2641.
• Narcotics Anonymous: Cumming
Friday, 6:30 p.m., Homemaker’s
Building. (Contact persons same as
listed above).
• Educational Series, Adult Chil
dren of Alcoholics: Gainesville -
week structured group therapy for
adults from dysfunctional families.
Sponsored by Psychological and Edu
cational Consultants Inc. Phone 532-
9596 or 535-2268 for start-up dates.
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