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Parenting resolutions for 1999
‘ • As the new year dawns and reso
•Rations are made about all that is
be accomplished, it might be
helpful to stop and reflect on a
number of items that pertain to the
preschooler. A young child might
put it this way if he or she were to
tell it from the child’s point of
View: I like to feel important, to
feel proud and big.
•'Don’t let me form bad habits. I have only you
to detect any signs of bad habits. Don’t try to
tfiake be believe that you are perfect. In other
Words, just be yourselves and don’t try to be
BUper-parents. It comes as a great shock when I
'discover otherwise.
don’t tell me my fears are silly. To me
'they are real and I need a lot of reassurance and
comforting. Remember that I am not very good at
keeping quiet, at least for a long period of time. I
Um not very good at sitting still either. A child
thy age is very active and many times when you
‘get upset with me, I am just being normal, that is,
jbst being active.
"Don’t forget that I am illiterate. Even if I can
•head words, I don’t often understand like you do.
•Tm a beginner. You have had years of experi
bhce, but I have had only two or three years of
Experience. This inexperience shows many times
'when you tell me to do something. And try to be
patient with me. I’m learning and I want to learn
'tthd don’t think I don’t want to learn. But keep in
fhind, I am easily distracted and I get tired of
doing the same thing for very long periods of
time.
‘’When you do something nice for me, don’t
think I’m unappreciative. At my age, I’m very
«£elf-centered and won’t be otherwise for a few
Tnore years. This is especially true when I am
just not hungry and you think that I don’t appre
ciate the work you put into preparing a good
hneal. If I were a little older, my reaction might
be different. But for now, you’ll have to take me
Us a three or four year old.
Don’t be afraid to apologize to me when you are
'-Wrong. That is a tremendous example for me to
follow. And anyway, to apologize is a sign of
‘strength, not weakness.
'■* If you make a promise to me, try to keep it. I
feally feel let down if you don’t keep your
‘promise. Try to follow through on a discipline. If
'you tell me to stand in the corner or go to my
;oom, make me do it. I may not want to, but
'fbmember the most important thing I’m learning
is that when you say something, you mean it. I
get very confused when you tell me to do one
thing, and don’t make me do it and then in the
faext minute or two tell me something else and
-hi
Helpful tips from the extension office
Slow down
During the cooler, shorter days of winter, most
houseplants grow more slowly. Unless you grow
'plants under an artificial light that you leave on 16
‘ hours per day, new growth will be minimal until
Spring. Don’t fertilize or water as much until late
“ April or May, when new growth resumes.
' Sweet color
'•*'“Choosing peppers to cook? Experts with the
' University of Georgia Extension Service offer this
tip: ripe red, yellow, orange, white or purple peppers
rfre sweeter when cooked than green ones.
P Rubber plants
»' A common complaint in growing rubber plants
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ACROSS
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get angry when I don’t do it.
Part of being my age involves
trying new things. Sometimes I
try things you don’t think I
should. But try to remember that
in order to grow up I must experi
ment.
Don’t think that I really want
everything I ask for. Many times I
am only testing you. Be firm with
me and later in life I’ll thank you by being the
kind of person you hope I’ll be. You see, being
firm makes me feel secure. This is especially
true at bedtime. When you say good night, mean
it and be firm. And don’t let me get you to play
the game of “Can I have a drink, cookie, etc.?”
Remember when you yell at me, I’m learning
that that’s the way to get things done, and I’m
also learning to yell at you. I might just pay
more attention if you got my attention first before
you told me something. Most of the time when
you yell, I must admit I never heard what you
said in the beginning.
My world is different from yours. Sometime
get down on your knees and see how my world—
our house —looks from my vantage point. Those
light switches are practically in the sky and the
counter top looks really intriguing from down
where I am.
When I say “I hate you” it’s not that I really
hate you. So don’t get so upset. When I say “I
hate you,” what I really mean is that your power
stops me from doing something I want to do.
If I ask you a question, don’t put me off. If you
don’t answer me, I’ll stop asking questions and
may not begin again even when I get older. If
you’re upset now when I ask a lot of questions,
imagine how upset you’ll be when I’m 12 or 14
and never ask a question!
Please don’t hit me. From what I read in the
newspapers there’s enough violence in the world.
You could be more effective if you would just
deprive me of something or make me leave the
action by going to my room.
Oh, yes. I’ll try to get your attention in a num
ber of different ways. Sometimes I’ll do some
thing that I know gets you upset, or I’ll develop a
small ailment. From my point of view, it would
be much better if you would take time and spend
it with me.
And, finally, Mom and Dad, don’t forget that
you were a child once. I need your understanding
and lots of it. As a matter of fact, I thrive on it!
If you have questions in the area of Family and
Consumer Sciences, please call me Monday
through Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. at (770) 887-
2418.
indoors is yellowing leaves with dead spots on the
edges. This is usually caused by overwatering.
Bottom drainage helps remove surplus water. If the
plant has been in the pot a long time, remove the
soil ball and loosen bound roots. Remove some of
the soil at the top of the ball, and move the plant
into a larger pot.
New avocado
A different way of starting an avocado plant is to
remove the pit from the fruit and wrap it in a moist
paper towel, say experts with the University of
Georgia Extension Service. Then place it in a plastic
bag and close the bag. Place this package in a warm
place. Check on it every few days to see if the towel
needs to be moistened. When roots appear, pot it.
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Abby
By Abigail Van Buren
Universal Press Syndicate
DEAR ABBY: I need some advice. My daughter, her
husband and three girls moved into my home when my
husband was ill five years ago. They were a big help to
me when my husband was terminally ill with cancer. My
son-in-law was always there during the night when I
needed him. We get along well. He takes care of repairs
and I have a free mind. I have my part of the house; they
have theirs. They also help with all of the expenses.
My problem is his family especially his mother. I
never had a mother-in-law. My husband’s mother died
before I knew him. Every time my son-in-law’s mother
comes here, she has to criticize something or complain
about something. I’m ready to scream. This is my home,
and I’m capable of making my own decisions. I may be
80 years old, but I still do volunteer work and keep up on
all the local and world news. Reading is my hobby.
I try to deal with the criticism by being thankful for what
I have. I have my health, my own home and I’m still able
to handle important things.
Every time I see her coming into the yard I feel like
screaming. Other members of the family feel the same
way. Abby, can you help me? His family takes over every
weekend. I have a beautiful deck, but I don’t use it when
they’re here.
TRAPPED AT HOME
DEAR TRAPPED: There’s no reason why you should
have to feel trapped in your own home. You are all adults.
It’s time for a frank talk with your daughter, your son-in
law and his mother about how her criticism and com
plaints make you feel. From your description, she has
been thoughtless and tactless.
Horoscope
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Travel is in the stars,
both short trips and those of a longer nature. Good news
comes your way regarding a situation at a distance. A
moody co-worker gets on your nerves toward week’s end.
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) You shine as your
work is recognized and your accomplishments are
rewarded this week. However, a jealous co-worker is just
waiting for an opportunity to steal your thunder. Stay out
of harm’s way.
GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Your business acumen
is at a peak this week and you can accomplish much. Feel
free to broach a delicate subject with a bigwig during a
social event. This week, it pays to mix business with plea
sure.
CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Privacy is best when
considering how to woo that certain reluctant party.
Creativity is accented at work and success follows as a
result. Discourses this weekend revolve around money
and joint finances.
LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) In some ways, you’re very
much in the spotlight, which suits your leonine nature just
fine. It seems you can do no wrong in anyone’s eyes.
Later in the week, exercise caution with a co-worker
who’s touchy.
VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept 22) You’re not thrilled, but
you need to face some important financial matters. Be on
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FORSYTH COUNTY NEWS Friday, January 8,1999 I
You should be able to enjoy quiet time at home on some
weekends if you wish. However, unless you speak up, no
one will know how you feel. Please don’t be shy or wait
to clear the air. If you’re “ready to scream,” I’d say you’re
long overdue.
DEAR ABBY: My marriage was in need of repair. My
husband and I had been fighting a lot. He told me that if I
didn’t like it, I could pack my things and go. I cried
myself to sleep for nights on end.
One night I couldn’t sleep because I was so upset wjth
him. All I could think about were all the things that
bugged me about him. 1 knew that if I didn’t banish these
negative thoughts from my mind, it would be a long time
before I fell asleep. 1 decided to think, instead, of all the
things that I loved about him. I wrote them down on a
piece of paper, put it in an envelope and placed it in his
briefcase.
The next morning, he called me from work to tell me
how much he loved me. When he came home that
evening, he put my “list” in a frame and hung it cm the
wall. We hardly ever fight anymore. I get love notes
weekly and kisses daily.
I thought some of your readers might like to try this
recipe for renewed love. It was so simple and well
worth the effort.
HAPPY AGAIN IN SAN DIEGO
DEAR HAPPY AGAIN: What a terrific idea for
warming up a glacial marriage. Your list of the things you
loved about your husband obviously meant a great deal to
him. When we focus only on what a person is doing
wrong, we tend to undervalue what he or she is doing
right.
the lookout for new opportunities to make more money.
Your income is increasingly important.
LIBRA (Sept 23 to Oct 22) Travel and communica
tions are highlighted. Added to that is your personal
charm, which is in high gear. As a result, you get much
done that requires far-reaching decisions this week.
SCORPIO (Oct 23 to Nov. 21) You can accomplish
much at home, provided you avoid being overly pushy. A
co-worker seeks you out to tell you something astonish
ing. Don’t buy it.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) Something
you've been waiting to receive for a while is delayed yet
again. Keep your temper. Ultimately, the accent is on
leisure and romance, particularly over the weekend.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) A co-workier
wants to introduce you to a new love interest. Avoid this
matchmaking scheme. You can pick and choose a partner
on your own much more successfully.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) You’re upset with
what's going on at work, but try not to bring this home
with you. Put the situation into its proper perspective.
This weekend, you feel good about getting out and about.
PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) Finances are the issue
for the major part of the week. Agreements ultimately
reached, though, are satisfying to you and your mate.
This weekend, leisure interests are highlighted.
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