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Young boys definitely are different
Are boys different? You bet
ter believe it! It is often a mind
altering discovery for adults
who are seldom around young
children. For those teachers and
parents of both boys and girls
this is a known fact.
Last week we had the pleas
ure of having our 4-year-old
nephew for a few days. Even
the “man of the house" had for
gotten how aggressive, ener
getic. and enthusiastic a young
boy can be. After a few hours
he began to remember days
gone by when our sons were
just as vibrant, busy, and into
every thing possible.
1 was prompted to reread
several chapters of Dr. James
Dobson's book “Bringing Up
Boys". I found many passages
that were familiar, one of which
was by Plato written 2.300
years ago: "Os all the animals,
the boy is the most unmanage
able."
"Mother use to say" is now
commonplace in my vocabu
lary. She would say "boys will
be boys" or. “that is what boys
do!" All of the answers didn't
fit as I would lament my futile
attempt to make our boys sit
quietly through just one meal.
Ethics & Reli
Checking out the church numbers
I’m a numbers guy. who
finds publications like the new
“Yearbook of American and
Canadian Churches 2004”
absolutely fascinating. Pub
lished annually by The
National Council of Churches,
it provides a quick snapshot of
the major denominations with
their histories, current leader
ship. seminaries and financial
data for 59 denominations.
Os course, the largest is
The Catholic Church (which is
no longer called the Roman
Catholic Church) with 66.4
million members, an increase
of 1.1 million in 2002 over
2001.
However. Catholics count
baptized infants as members
while the Southern Baptist
Convention, the largest Pro
testant denomination with
16.2 million (up 1.2 percent),
only counts those making an
adult profession of faith.
On the other hand.
Southern Baptist data includes
5.1 million “non-resident
members.”
Who are they? Other than
college students and soldiers
who are away, they are people
who have left. Southern
Baptists are really a denomi
nation of 11.2 million, of
whom 5.8 million worship on
Sunday and 4.1 million attend
Sunday School, according to
SBC statistician Cliff Tharp.
By contrast, only a third of
Catholics attend Mass on any
given Sunday, 22 million,
according to experts at
Catholic University. That
number is down, due to the
Catholic scandal, the priest
shortage and due to the clos
ing of 3,300 churches since
1996, a 15 percent decline,
while the number of Catholics
grew by 5 million in those
years, mostly from immigra
tion.
(Last week Boston
Archbishop Sean O’Malley
asked Catholics to face the
reality that declining atten
dance will force him to shutter
scores of the archdiocese’s
357 churches.)
There is a lot of air and
P" 4 fjr Julianne
j Boling
SSnSBEKSM
As they snickered and squirmed
their way around the food they
didn't like I bemoaned the fact
that they would soon die of star
vation. They didn’t!
Boys are quite different
from the little girl who will sit
in a restaurant and not want to
see what is over the booth wall
and converse with the other
patrons. The young girl will talk
with her doll and cuddle it to
her breast as the little boy runs
his car along the railing
between the booths and ask the
man if he has a truck..
Boys have three questions to
answer where toys are con
cerned. Will it come apart? Will
it make noise? What makes it
work? Once these questions are
explored he w ill move on to the
next exciting adventure of get
ting in the dog crate w ith the
dog captured inside with him.
Boys can disappear and can
remain quieter than a mouse as
ion
Mike
wishful thinking in the figures
of African American denomi
nations.
The Yearbook reports that
the National Baptist
Convention, USA. Inc. has 5
million members, but does not
say how many pastors the
church has. 1 called its
Nashville headquarters to ask
some questions. An operator
answered the phone but as the
only staff person present, sug
gested 1 call the NBC's presi
dent, a pastor in New Orleans.
He was unavailable.
Is it merely coincidence
that the African Methodist
Episcopal Church, the
National Missionary Baptist
Convention and the Progres
sive National Baptist Conven
tion each have 2.5 million
members? And that none
gained or lost a member in
years? I don't think so.
Neither wants the real num
bers to be known. A founda
tion offered a grant several
years ago to enable black
denominations to develop
county-hy-county data. They
refused.
Two other broad trends can
be seen in the Yearbook num
bers. Evangelical and Pen
tecostal denominations are
growing.
The Assemblies of God,
for example, with 2,687,000
members grew a healthy 2.3
percent in 2002. And it has
maintained that growth for
three decades. There were
only 1.5 million Assemblies
members in 1970. Seventh
Day Adventists grew from
700,000 to 1,048,000 in those
years.
In fact there are millions of
evangelicals in new independ
ent congregations which are
not even reported in the
Yearbook. The World Christ
ian Encyclopedia lists church-
adults go wild looking in all
nooks and crannies for them.
They are amazed when found
that the adults are angry instead
of laughing joyously because
the lost one has been found.
In distinguishing the differ
ence between boys and girls
one should keep in mind that
boys are much more curious
about handles, machinery, and
engines of all kinds.
They want to see how much
water will come out of a faucet,
how many times a commode
can be flushed without breaking
the handle, and how many times
they can pull a mower string
before they are exhausted.
Little boys have heroes.
They are not obsessive, only
possessive. They want all the
Ninja Turtle figures, all the
Power Rangers, and all of the
paraphernalia that goes with
them. Once the collection is
complete they will move on to
another hero figure.
Dobson writes: "So buckle
your seat belts! There is a lot of
interesting ground you will
cover with boys." Enjoy the
ride. 1 did!
Cumming resident Julianne
Boling writes a weekly column.
es with 78 million members,
many of which did not exist
30 years ago. For example
there are 700,000 in 3,000
new “seeker churches" pat
terned on the Willow Creek
Church outside of Chicago.
By contrast, mainline
Protestant denominations are
shrinking with the exception
of the American Baptists who
grew 2.9 percent in 2002 after
years of declines.
The United Methodist
Church plunged from 11.5
million members in 1965 to
only 8.2 million in 2002. The
Presbyterian Church (USA)
plummeted 42 percent in those
years and The Episcopal
Church fell by a third.
What explains those
trends?
Diane Knippers, a conser
vative Episcopalian who runs
the Institute for Religion &
Democracy explains: “The
evangelical community is
inorc confident about the truth
of the Christian faith and its
goals while the mainline
churches all too often are slip
ping into a vague spirituality
or political activism.
By contrast the evangelical
churches have a focus on out
reach, evangelism and inviting
people to church."
Prof. Nancy Ammerman of
Boston University differs:
“Part of the answer is that
mainline churches keep track
of their numbers and notice
when their members leave,
because national dues are
apportioned based on mem
bership figures. There is a
financial incentive to decline,
not to pad your rolls.
In evangelical churches
there is an opposite incentive.
If you had 200 members last
year, baptized 10 and 15
joined the church, you say you
have 225, and you don't pay
attention to 40 who moved
away and did not bother to tell
you.”
Sadly, church numbers
cannot be taken at face value.
Many are not credible.
Mike McManus is a nation
ally syndicated columnist.
On the verge of ‘old cussedness’
After dinner and dropping
our youngest off at the movies
on a Friday night, we decided
that the evening was young.
What could we do? All of our
children were with friends and
it was just the two of us. The list
is long. A romantic evening at
home, shopping at the mall,
maybe even a movie for our
selves. We decided to go to
Wal-Mart.
Wal-Mart on a Friday
evening brings out a different
lot of folks and here we were
among them. There were the
usual outdoorsmen buying fish
ing or turkey hunting gear. We
blended in with grocery shop
pers and browsers as I wanted
to just pick up a few things.
Shaving and winter had taken a
toll on my tired face. I was
looking for a magic ointment
that I saw advertised on televi
sion. I looked and looked with
out success and my wise better
half offered to help. She asked
the name of this mystery potion.
I told her the name was
Nineveh. She looked at me with
a quizzical look. “Nineveh is
where Jonah was running from
when he was swallowed by a
whale." I realized that the real
name of my quest was Nivea. I
told her I only looked like a
w hale as she laughed at my sen
ior moment. We promptly found
my quest and she smirked as I
checked out.
This year brings me to the
half century mark. There is
something about your 40s that
makes you aware that your
years are numbered. Fifty is
another transition. One fast food
place in town kept offering me
the senior discount. Finally 1
had enough. I told the young
lady behind the counter that I
didn't want any senior discount
and 1 would absolutely not
accept it. She looked at me
funny as I paid more than she
required. She probably won
dered who had spit in my chick
en soup.
The events preceding my
induction into being an old cuss
were plentiful this weekend. As
I sat in front of a movie on
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FORSYTH COUNTY NEWS - Sunday, M»rch 21, 2004 -
Phlll »
Bettis W
Saturday night, a rerun of
“Chariots of Fire,” my son
asked me what movie I was
watching. He asked again with
no response from old Dad.
Finally, in desperation he
blared, “Dad I am going into an
illegal trade and maybe 1 will
join the circus and forget col
lege.” My hearing finally kicked
in enough to know that 1 was
being laughed at by my son and
his girlfriend.
Getting out of our family
vehicle at church on Sunday, the
bright morning sunlight
revealed that 1 had blue socks
on with black pants. It looked
awful. I hoped that no one
would see my fashion faux pas
as 1 walked through the church
yard.
Vision and hearing lapses
aside, 1 feel the years piling on.
My patience is as short as my
temper. My waist is larger and
hair grows places it shouldn’t
and grows thinner where it
should be growing. Winter
seems longer but for some rea
son time seems to fly by. 1 am
more interested in documen
taries on television than some
steamy reality show. I dream of
retirement and doing what 1
want to do when I want to do it.
I look for shoes that are com
fortable and pants with expand
able waists.
Learning to be an old cuss
requires some work. I think
about those that have gone on
before that left wonderful lega
cies of old cussdom. When I
was a teenager working in a
grocery store sacking groceries,
there was always some old guy
wanting something that was so
mispronounced that we had no
idea what they wanted. One fel
low came in each Saturday
wanting fish “fill-its." We finally
figured it out. Some old cusses
would wear an awful combina
tion of stripes and plaids. Some
might have a “comb-over.”
Others would talk about the
good old days when the roads
were dirt, the cotton fields were
hot and endless and how the
younger generation had no idea
of how hard life could be. I tell
my children of my days digging
ditches, driving nails, hauling
Sheetrock and how cold the
winters were, and how good the
people were here once upon a
time. I think it is a rite of pas
sage to judge the current gener
ation and reminisce of the
“good old days.”
Realizing that becoming an
old cuss is quickly becoming
reality for me, I have deter
mined that 1 will not go easy
into that night. I need some
workouts in the gym and to per
haps pay a bit more attention. I
am taking vitamins and watch
ing what 1 eat a bit more. Being
an old cuss is an attitude, and I
am trying to make mine more
positive. I am trying to tolerate
my children’s music choices.
They gave me a "Coldplay”
album for Christmas that I have
at least listened to. I have
bought new jeans and even let
my hair grow a bit longer on
occasion.
Perhaps I can delay my
entry into old cussdom a few
years by hanging around young
folks. There are plenty that
come to the house and they
seem to like me. I joke with
them and talk about what is
going on in their lives. Their
energy is infectious and I need
all of that I can get. My sense of
humor is a bit different, but we
all share an occasional laugh
together.
I will not ride Harleys this
summer and I will not go to a
rock concert. I will remember
what it was like to be young
when life was like a big picnic
table spread before us. I will
remember that first car and
prom night and being able to
run through green fields on a
clear spring air. But that was
when I could find my sneakers.
Phill Bettis is a native of
Forsyth County who writes an
occassional column.
PAGE 11A