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Destroying diaries closes window to the past
DEARABBY: I am writing in response to the
letter about the man who read his
deceased wife’s diaries, written prior
to their marriage, when she was a
teenager. He had been unaware that
she had dated many men. including
one of his best friends, and that she
had hoped to marry another man.
The man’s daughter urged diarists
to destroy writings not meant to be
read by survivors.
As an archivist, whose job it is to
preserve history for generations to come, 1
would strongly caution against destroying
material. Diaries are few and far between
today, and offer glimpses into the past. While
that family may have had a bad experience,
most people treasure diaries as an intimate
connection with someone no longer present.
That man angry at what he didn't know
sounds like a grieving widower who would
rather be angry with his deceased wife than
face his sadness at losing her. We all cope with
death differently, and this might be the most
comforting way for him to deal with his loss.
If he is truly holding her teenage years against
her. then whether it lasted 62 years or not, it
couldn’t have been much of a marriage. 1
don't think that is the case, however. His
daughter should be ready to help him through
his grief. He will come around when he’s
ready.
STACEY C. PEEPLES, RIVERSIDE.
NJ.
DEAR STACEY: It did not occur to me that
diaries could be of historical significance.
However, if someone is writing sensitive
information in a diary or a journal, instruc
tions should be left that those documents
remain sealed until anyone who could be hurt
by the contents has also passed on. Read on:
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Joyce Jillson
TODAY’S BIRTHDAY
(March 25). You're irre
sistibly attractive to scores of
people this year and will really
have to guard your time. Make
sure it's all adding up to some
thing you'll be proud of years
from now. A project done well
in June will push you into a
new career realm. Love with a
Sagittarius or Libra is intense
ly passionate. Your good judg
ment brings a windfall in
September. Your lucky num
bers are: 7, 35. 20. 12 and 30.
ARIES (March 21-April 19).
You'll be working with all
types of people. Young folks
may exhibit ignorance. You
can help along their learning
process with a gentle nudge,
but do be patient. It's better
not to expect change. Let
yourself be pleasantly sur
prised.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20).
You've got a rock and roll aura
around you. The more you
strut like your own version of
Mick Jagger, the more oppor
tunities for love you open up.
At work, get down to the nitty
gritty. or you'll miss some
thing important!
FORSYTH COUNTY NEWS Thursday, March 25,2004 -
Speed Bump Dave Coverly
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DEAR ABBY: To “Sad in Pennsylvania,”
&
AM
Jeanne Phillips
history, human psychology and my own
ancestry. A vital part of my life would be
missing if someone had destroyed that book.
SABRA IN L.A.
DEAR SABRA: You inherited a treasure. I
can only imagine the changes that occurred
during your great-grandmother's lifetime.
When my own dear grandmother. Rose
Phillips, died at the age of 103 in October
2002, our family realized that over the span
of her lifetime she had seen the rise of the
automobile, the birth of commercial air trav
el. Prohibition, women's suffrage, the
Roaring '2os. the Great Depression, two
World Wars, the discovery of penicillin, man
on the moon, the invention of the microwave
oven, the fax machine, the computer, the
Internet, the cell phone and the birth control
pill.
Oh. if only she had kept a diary!
DEAR ABBY: That daughter said her dad is
upset after 62 years of a “full and happy mar
riage." That man should be feeling on top of
the world. He was the one her mother select
ed to be her soul mate and nothing that
happened before matters.
HAPPY HUSBAND, ORLANDO. FLA.
DEAR H.H.: I agree
Under the stars ’ gaze
GEMINI (May 21-June
21) Quality people think
you’re cool. It has to do with
honesty. You are especially
in touch with the truth
tonight. But just because you
recognize the truth doesn't
mean you have to tell it. It's
best to wait until you’re
asked.
CANCER (June 22-July
22) A ton of work is piled
on your desk, but don't let it
get you down. You'll have to
go outside your comfort
zone to get results, but the
results you do get are worth
the effort. Love tip: Taking
certain liberties shows you
are confident.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22).
Imagine how productive you
could be if you didn't care a
lick about whether or not
that certain someone joined
your team. When you're very
involved in your own world,
that's when a new prospect
wants to sweep you away.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22).
Family matters come first
you handle them beautifully.
Your backward way of solv
ing problems is super-enter
taining to a foxy someone.
Celebrate your oddness.
Everyone is a bit odd, after
all.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23).
You're so used to working
hard that sometimes you
can't even tell where the
path of least resistance is. An
Aquarius leads the way. Dare
to be the rebel, even if it
makes you a bit unpopular.
whose 85-year-old father was dis
tressed to find his wife’s teenage
diaries after her death (and others
who might be in a similar situa
tion), I want to say, "Please don’t
destroy these diaries or other
writings after the person dies.”
1 am the deeply grateful owner of
my great-grandmother’s diary,
begun in 1855. It has given me
profound insight into American
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21).
Your mother or a sibling has
truly valuable insight about
your life if you're brave
enough to ask. Working out the
kinks in a business deal will
take extra time. Don't rush it,
though, or you'll be stuck with
a wonky arrangement.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-
Dec. 21). The one you are try
ing to attract needs plenty of
freedom, just like you. If you
don't make any promises and
don't request them from
potential sweetie, the relation
ship grows strong faster.
Another Sagittarius under
stands.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan.
19). A nervous energy might
take hold, but this can also be
interpreted by optimists as
excitement. You may have to
trick your own psyche to per
form this afternoon.
Innovation and genius will be
bom out of a sense of competi
tion.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.
18). How many times do you
have to win a battle only to
discover that you have to fight
it again? Stop struggling, and
get away from a negative part
ner. Tonight, doing something
that makes no logical sense is
very attractive.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20).
There are friendly vibes
around you. and people feel
it’s easy to approach you. You
may even get an odd request
this aftemixm. The opportuni
ty for outsiders to become
insiders is featured.
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